“Whenever you bring your attention to anything natural, anything that has come into existence without human intervention, you step out of the prison of conceptualized thinking &, to some extent, participate in the state of connectedness with Being in which everything natural still exists.
To bring your attention to a stone, a tree, or an animal does not mean to think about it, but simply to perceive it, to hold it in your awareness.
Something of its essence then transmits itself to you. You can sense how still it is, & in doing so the same stillness arises within you. You sense how deeply it rests in Being - completely at one with what it is and where it is. In realizing this, you too come to a place of rest deep within yourself.” – Eckhart Tolle (at Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve)
And strange as it sounds, it might be one of the reasons he’s done as well as he has.
By JULIE SEDIVY
In the 2016 presidential contest, there has been one thing that supporters and detractors of Donald Trump have agreed on. The chest-pounding real estate mogul from New York has emerged as the quintessentially masculine candidate. Love him or loathe him, Trump’s campaign has been defined by the ways he has asserted his maleness—mocking his opponents for their low energy, bullying his critics, sneering at perceived weakness, boasting of his sexual prowess, vowing to hit back twice as hard as he’s been hit.
But academic research has picked up something that thousands of hours of campaign punditry has missed completely: Donald Trump talks like a woman. He might be preoccupied with grading women’s looks, penis size and “locker room talk,” but the way he speaks and the actual words he uses make for a distinctly feminine style. In fact, his speaking style is more feminine by far than any other candidate in the 2016 cycle, more feminine than any other presidential candidate since 2004.
More than just a comical curiosity, this fact about Trump’s mode of communication might help explain how a candidate who has been so extensively rebuked for his mean-spirited attacks on immigrants, women, the disabled and even prisoners of war has managed to attract support from millions of voters who adore the way he says openly what they feel. To some, Trump’s ascent is evidence that society still prizes the masculine over the feminine, but what’s happening is more complex, and Trump’s style has qualities that go beyond mere blustery aggression. Research has shown that the more feminine a speaker’s style, the more likable and trustworthy he seems. For Trump, who has been derided for his multiple contradictions and outright lies, that advantage might well have persuaded his supporters to listen to him and not the chorus of media fact checkers.
Is there a certain type with perception issues? For instance, someone taking something I say the wrong way even after I explained/clarified my original intentions. Like it doesn't matter what I say now because they are going to perceive it the way they did originally. As an INFJ this really gets under my skin because it is like they are believing something incorrect about me, almost like they are saying I'm lying. Am I just being too sensitive?
THIS! Oh my gosh this!
Okay I’ve had this happen my ENTIRE life and it irritates the absolute crap out of me. You’re not being sensitive, I think a lot of INFJs deal with this because our thoughts don’t come out as clearly as they sound in our mind.
professionals and hustlers: gemini, leo, virgo, libra
out of all the signs, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, and Libra are the four most obsessed with appearances. even if they say they don’t give a fuck about what people think, they care a WHOLE lot about how they are perceived and the public opinion of them. they break down into two groups: professionals and hustlers.
professionals: leo, virgo professionals are always put together. all their ducks are in a row. they have a plan a, b, and emergency c as well as a few side plans they can execute in the off chance of a less likely situation that they still feel they should prep for. when things aren’t organized or their plans get unexpectedly changed, they tend to get upset – they don’t like having unnecessary problems or changes, especially when they had everything planned just right from jump. they don’t like people to get in their way, especially if they’re supposed to be friends. if you block them by accident, they’ll be annoyed, but impede them on purpose and they’re liable to cuss you out. they like having all the trappings and appearances of being put together – nice clothes, hair just right, great at what they do, and doing it without anyone to prop them up. this leaves them susceptible to ego trips and to self-destructive behaviors by way of not reaching out for help when they really need it. they truly believe that they should have it together without someone else having to extend charity to them. this is also because, deep down inside, they rarely believe anyone else can be right (this is the reason they work so hard to be self-sufficient). so if someone comes trying to hep them, they don’t truly believe they should need help when they know best and especially when others are likely to let them down. this is why they seem cold to people and like they believe they’re better.
hustlers: gemini, libra hustlers are a lot like professionals on the surface – they like to have their shit together, they like to look put together and like they have it down pat. the main difference? usually, they’re only concerned about LOOKING like they have it together. where virgos and leos may smile through their world crumbling around them because they don’t believe they need help to get their shit together, geminis and libras will know full well that their worlds are crumbling and that they can’t stop it and that others know best… but they hate to LOOK like that. appearances are very important to libras and geminis (which is why they both also are in the fakers and freezers categories, respectively) and they hate to have the IMAGE that they have it all together torn down. unlike professionals, who who really work to BE together and refuse to accept help because they’re so capable, hustlers work hard on making sure they come off as adjusted and doing great at all times. even when they admit it, they tend to downplay how bad it is and instead focus on others. however, because they bottle things up, they tend to have emotional explosions or radical changes of heart that seem to come out of nowhere, but have actually come after long periods of quiet, unseen reflection.
The doctors diagnosed it as extreme obsessive compulsive disorder paired with a form of germiphobia. Whatever the case may be, her fear tormented her from childhood. She had always been insecure about it.
No matter what people perceive of me, I always shine through the day. I’ve a lot of people try to tear me down. But, I’m here. And I’ve always been myself, and I’ve been graceful and I’ve tried to handle myself with as much class, and it’s only because I know how hard I work, and I’m not gonna let any of that get to me.
Hey, it’s story time! So a couple years ago, I got my sperm frozen since I heard that HRT can make people infertile. Thankfully, this was shortly before I came out, back when people still perceived me as a man, so it wasn’t as awkward as it otherwise would have been. But still, it was an awkward as fuck time.
So I sign in, they do some regular tests on me, I hear on the radio that Twin Peaks is coming back, it’s a fine time. But then they hand me a cup and sort of a ketchup packet of lube, point me to a room, and say, and I quote, “Go in there, and come back when you’ve made a sample.”
The fact that they always referred to me cumming as “making a sample” somehow made it even more uncomfortable.
So I go into the room and I see that it is the most brightly lit room in the universe. There’s a light switch, but when the lights are off, I cannot see a single goddamn thing. So the lights stay on, and I sit down in this leather chair. And it makes a sound. Whenever I move even the slightest bit, this chair announces it to the world. And I can hear people outside, so I know that they can hear me too.
In this room, absolutely no materials are provided for me to work with, so I have to rely on my imagination. Loud workers outside and all, it was incredibly hard to focus. And I could hear the radio too. Imagine trying to imagine giant women and get turned on while outside you hear “JEREMIAH WAS A BULLFROG!”
But somehow, I did it. And I guess this awkward and weird ass experience is just the first sacrifice I made for my future kids.
uhm, i did not get any influance from sweet bros and hella jeff, i precede their existence on the web definitely. if anything influenced me a little bit growing up as a webling it was like Arfenhouse and Emily youcis and youtube poops, and some other more obscure things, but only a little bit. i did the same kinda stuff before i was even on the web.. it is just how i grew up and perceived the world :-)
Well, okay not currently but it’s happened before and I’m sure it’ll happen again in the future. And honestly, if I go by the basic definition of the word, it’s not even that hard to offend me. If we take the word offended to mean resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult, then yeah I end up offended at one or more things pretty frequently. It doesn’t even have to be at me, if an idea I subscribe to is insulted and I feel it’s done unjustly then I get annoyed at that, so boom offended.
So why am I mentioning this? Because I want to say that being offended isn’t a bad thing, it doesn’t even mean you have a thin skin. Ever since there started this trend of policing the way others speak to comply to your sensibilities, the very notion of being offended became something of a touchy subject. Some people were offended by everything and others prided themselves on offending.
When this became a thing it also became popular to claim that nothing, or at least very little, offended you. I suppose that’s not only because people wanted to distance themselves from those who claimed everything was offensive, but also to prove that those trying to offend didn’t succeed. Because if they succeeded that means they have power over you right? Well, does it really?
Think about it, if you put your drink on a table and the glass falls off the edge that’ll annoy you, does that mean the glass has power over you? No, it’s just how people react to inconvenient external stimuli, and the only real difference between that annoyance and being offended is whether a perceived insult was involved or not. So having a normal reaction doesn’t not give anyone else power over you.
I believe that the importance of offence comes with how people react to it. I maintain that being offended by jokes or anything else can be a good thing. Really it can. It gives you an opportunity to look at why you were offended, what did you feel was insulted, and can you tell whether it was intentional or not? This can help you learn things about yourself, or your ideas, and offence can challenge your mind and force you to look at a new perspective, which you can decide to fight, to ignore, or to change your current perspective with the new information. Being offended gives people a great opportunity, though I’ll be honest, most of the time we just chose to ignore it and move on. Not every interaction will be mind altering.
Being offended obviously gets it’s bad rep from those who use it as a way to police what others say, and obviously that’s the wrong way deal with it. But I don’t want people to be stuck with the idea that being offended is inherently bad or that nothing good or useful can come of it.
These are completely my thoughts based on certain things I know and what I see going on ..
I may be completely wrong …but I have been watching and reading things for a couple of years …and this is the way I see it ….
I was talking with a friend earlier today and as usual , the subject of Darren came up . I made an analogy of how I perceive things as they are right now .
To me he is like the caged dogs and cats that we see in SPCA commercials . The ones that are caged and have been mistreated at the same time . They want nothing more than to be freed, but circumstances prevent it from happening .
I also feel as though he has been bullied …possibly into submission .
We get infrequent glimpses at Darren ( Daisy ) when he is happy and carefree…unfortunately those are far outweighed by the glum even sad Darren .
As a victim of bullying myself , it is hard to fight back and when one tries, the bullying worsens .
Bullying also leaves wounds that do heal but leave “scabs” in some cases and occasionally those wounds are reopened and they take even longer to heal .
This is perhaps a dramatic way of seeing things , but to me it could explain why we see very little change in the status quo .
I could be very wrong , but I have this urge to set him free from the cage he currently appears
to be in , but all I can do is offer him affection and appreciation from outside the cage …
Until such time as he frees himself or is set free by those “in charge” .
Aka: I legit thought people exaggerated their attraction to people. Buckle up kiddies because we’re in for a long ass post full of rambles, sarcasm, snarkiness, and possibly information.
So I’ve seen a similar post before about how someone (a fellow ace) thought people were either joking or flat out exaggerating how much they think about banging others. (Especially strangers, for me this is a totally foreign concept. Like the concept of Omiyage, you can explain it, but it is still a totally foreign concept). And WHOOOOO boy does Mouse (me) have a story for yall.
Just this year I learned in Intro to Psychology about social desirability bias. This basically means that humans, when surveyed, will often tell little white lies or exaggerate about things to make themselves seem more desirable. For better or worse, how I perceived attraction was like that.
So how my brain thought: Most people (read: were like me) feel little to nothing for strangers, or when they make comments like “man look at those abs, what I wouldn’t give to tap that,” they were joking or exaggerating. Also, what’s the deal with half naked bodies? Like yeah, abs look nice, cleavage is nice, but chill yourself hun.
It never actually occurred to me that people could actually mean that until the last year. That they could look at a stranger and legit have a desire or urge to have sex with them. Truth is, any time I would say things like that, I was joking, because I thought that was what people did. Not once in my nearly 25 years looked at a complete stranger and legit had the urge to have sex with them. It flat out doesn’t happen. TBH, I don’t know if I would even be comfortable if it did because of the fact the concept itself seems foreign to me. That being said, I not longer say “I’d tap that” in any sort of serious context.
It wasn’t until I was on tumblr (long long before this discourse BS, mind you), that I even discovered there was a term for this feeling. ASEXUAL. Once I found it (thanks to a tumblr user who will not be named, but they similarly described their experience being ace), it was like this light went off (ding!). Shit started falling into place. Shit made sense. I was asexual. I wasn’t broken, I was not mentally challenged when it came to romance or sex. I was not a “prude” or “picky” about my sexual partners (though even if I was, I fail to see how that is a bad thing).
It was a very strange thing to learn about asexuality for me. I had to go over my entire love life, in some sad desperate attempt to prove I wasn’t asexual…. But all the pieces kinda fell together. I had no interest in dating in school, and I thought at first it was just me being picky, because 90% of the people at my high school were atrocious. But once I got out of high school, I never found anyone that really piqued my interest. It’s not that I didn’t want a relationship, I very much wanted to have romance in my life, but sex was just… eh. I mean I don’t need it.
Believe you me… I’ve tried (to force myself to feel something). I’ve tried going to weird kink/swinger parties, I’ve tried the labels of bi/pan/poly (none of which felt right, though whatever romantic attraction i have is somewhere in that pile), I’ve flat out tried having sex with a complete stranger (surely that was gonna spark something if nothing else would). I felt little to nothing while at those parties, and NOTHING at all for the stranger. At times, I feel little to nothing for people I’m dating (in a sexual manner. This does not correspond to romantic feelings in any way).
Yes, I’m aware, to some people this may make me sound like a horrible partner. I know there are people who hear that and think “Oh my god. Who would want a partner who does not look at them and think ‘man, do I wanna fuck that!’” And fine by me. Just know I, as well as others, think you’d make a really shitty partner if you expect your partner to always be gun-ho about jumping on your junk. To quote LMFAO “I’m a human not a sandwhich,” but in this case, I ain’t a blow up doll…. I am a human, and no.. I do not always have to be enthusiastic about jumping on your junk. I have the right to say no. Just like any other person.
This may sound harsh, but I do take people’s feelings into account. Basically, if your feelings don’t seem like they could work with mine, I don’t have the desire to bother. I’ve spent too much time forcing myself to feel something I don’t, and I do not have the time for it anymore. I will not set myself on fire to keep you warm.
That being said…
Being that I have been in the LGBT+ community and at events/groups/etc and advocating as an Asexual representative for a while now, I get a good number of questions… I also get some solid gold comments on my relationships as well. On that same note some bullshit comments I’ve had directed at me:
I’ve been told by people that they could never date someone like me (thanks. i no longer have any vested interest in your either. bye.)
I’ve been told that my partner deserves to go out and have sex with other people, because if I don’t want to have sex with them, why is are they with me? It’s not like you can want to stay with something as superficial as their personality..Right? I mean who would think…..
I’ve been told I am a horrible partner for expecting my partner to remain monogomous if I do not want sex regularly.
I have been told it would be OK/acceptable for my partner to force me into sexual situations if it am not in the mood.
I’ve been told it was because of my strict Catholic upbringing and that I need to loose the stigma and shame tied to sex.
I’ve been told I am making the conscious descision to bypass my own biology and only saying I feel nothing.
I’ve been told I’m flat out denying science/biology altogether by claiming to be asexual.
I’ve been told I need to try having sex more, or to push myself to try and like guys/girls more. Just try harder… yeeeuuuup. Like I haven’t tried pretty hard already.
I’ve been told I’m just a closet lesbian and I need to come clean.
I’m really just straight and need to come clean. (which one is it, am I straight.. am i a lesbian? I do have romantic feelings towards women, so what?… make up your mind please).
I’ve been told I’m only doing this for attention. (special snowflake syndrome. i’m apparently rampant with it)
I’ve been told that I am wasting my life, or (one of my favs) I should just die then if I’m not going to bother reproducing. (As if the sole necessity for my being is to bear children. Get out of here. Now.).
I’ve been told asexuality doesn’t exist. (Looks like I’m made from the void then ya’ll because apparently I don’t exist)
I’ve been told to go to therapy, because everyone wants sex at some point.
I’ve also been told “you just haven’t found the right person yet.”
A lot of times, I get my entire sexuality dissected by anyone I choose to come out too. As if there is some puzzle that needs to be solved, as if I need to be liberated from this horrible existance (being asexual is not a horrible existance by the way, a little discombobulating at times because it is definitely not a social norm, even amongst the LGBT community…. but it is certainly not horrible… unless you count these horrible questions and comments as being a horrible existance, in which case yes, please liberate me. and by that i mean kill me… so I don’t have to deal with the sheer stupidity anymore).
Now DO NOT get it twisted. I am not crying “ho-dee-do I are so oppressed.” That is not what listing those comments was for. I’m flat out telling you about my experiences. We all have crappy experiences with humans, and as an asexual, you will have some crappy ones that tie to your sexuality…
Now on the subject of partners/lovers/significant others/ dating…..
In case anyone is wondering. I am in a relationship. This is someone who I’ve spent the last 4+ years with, and is a fairly healthy relationship (for the most part, unless you count that snot stealing mah leftovers)…. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I met him on a site basically akin tom myspace when I made a snarky comment about “gamer boys” and the two of us struck up a conversation about skyrim. We both are major computer nerds and enjoy working on computers in various ways (hooray similar intrests), we also spend way too much time playing video games or in front of screens. Most importantly though: We treat each other as humans. He respects my boundaries, makes sure I’m always consenting, has NO desire to cheat on me (he was rather appauled at some of the comments I’ve heard, especially that he has the “right” to force me. he legit wanted to know who these people were to “give them a piece of his mind”). To him sex is a happy bonus to a relationship, not a dealbreaker (as it should be IMO).
Now please note, I do care for and love my partners. Quite often I feel like I’m blessed or lucky to have them (especially when I hear someone say they could not “date someone like me”). The only difference in any other relationship is I just do not think of them as “sexy.” TBH. I don’t think of anyone as “sexy.” Just like some robot who knows the definition of love, I understand the meaning of the word, but I can’t say I’ve felt it for others, or would know what it is like to feel like when someone thinks another person is “sexy.”
When it comes to my own “attraction,” I don’t even really know if I could describe how it feels when I do feel something for someone. Truth is, the only time I think of sex with another person is when something has already aroused me (which admittedly, is usually just randomly, or if I’m physically stimulated in some way, such as a partner touching me). Again. I do not look at a person and instantaniously think of sex. I can admire their outfit, the color of their eyes, the shape of their face, their build, etc but to think of them in a sexual manner is another story.
Think of it as an equasion. To some people blue eyes = sexy. To me, blue eyes = those are vaguely same color as my partner’s eyes. To some washboard abs = sexy. To me washboard abs = dude that guy works hella hard to maintain those. To some big boobs = sexy. To me big boobs = I wonder if those hurt her back?….. The list could go on. Instead of instantly jumping from object = sexy/sex it generally goes to object = thought.
Now. I’m not adverse to sex. I just don’t actively go out of my way to seek it or do it. End of story.
The same goes with the media I consume, or the idea of other people doing sexual things in front of me altogether. There are days I can watch a sex scene in a movie/show no problem. Other days I’m the type to roll my eyes and think “just get back to the story please.” There are also times I will avoid anything sexual in media like the plague. Just NOPE. NOPE. Not thanks. Like a kid pushing away a plate of food they don’t like, I’m like NOPE with sex in my media. I do not make a big deal out of it. I do not rage over it. I push it away and move on.
Anyways.. .THE POINT. WGAD/Who gives a damn?
I hope this story helps someone out there who’s not sure what the hell is going on with their sexuality, thinks they may be asexual, are curious what it’s like to be asexual or how one discovers it. That kinda shit. To be honest, other asexuals talking about their experience helped me figure out I was asexual, so in sharing my story I seriously hope to help others. If this posts helps even one person, I have done my duty with it.
My sister and I might have seen a ghost/some sort of spiritual entity? We both called him the same name he we saw him and got the same images? Are spirits/beings/entities real? Also how do you find ley lines? Sorry if this is odd.
This requires some lengthy discourse:
Firstly, many things in the environment can cause humans to have extremely realistic delusions (in the strict sense of the word). All humans are constructed largely the same, and so most of these things have identical effects. The fact that you are sisters actually detracts from the notion that it might be any sort of entity, as you are more alike than two strangers, and therefore would be affected similarly.
Now, that being said, as I have mentioned before, I perceive what I can only describe as localized energy storms, like a whirlpool, that sometimes cling to certain locations only by virtue of the same sort of physics that create static hurricanes or tornados. I call them Drifters. And they can appear to have personalities, motivations, even cause disturbances that seem intelligent. I do not think they are. I think it is all patterned behavior. I hypothesize they imprint the traits or habits of people whom they “know”. I say this because I have crossed their paths and cannot get any sense from them. If they were intelligent, I would think they would wish to communicate.
Ley lines are…for lack of a better word- junk science. Energy does not move in lines. It flows like a flood and pools or collects.
When I was 13 I entered my first ever (what I considered) proper relationship with a girl in my year whom I’d liked for a while. If we’d known how badly either of us would be treated once our peers started to perceive is as “lezzers” then I doubt either of us would have openly come out as a couple.
As a small 5,2 nerdy “effeminate” girl I got off lightly. By which I mean-
-I was sexually and verbally harassed constantly by the same two kids for OVER EIGHT MONTHS whilst at least 3 teachers knew and looked the other way
- My friends told me daily that homosexuality was unnatural and gross and we should be ashamed
- At the swimming pool I was told to “Fuck off you lezzer” by a group of girls I barely even knew
-Boys would constantly ask me inappropriate questions about pussy and my sexual relations while their mates looked on and laughed
- Those same boys still asking me those questions TO THIS DAY. Their harassment and inappropriate behaviour goes unpunished and unnoticed by staff three years after it began
-Boys who weren’t rude would suddenly treat me like I was the most sexually desirable thing on the planet. It wasn’t empowering, it was distressing and confusing
My girlfriend at the time was a 6 foot tall muscular girl with very small breasts and a “masculine” appearance. Kids were much ruder to her
-Taking her name Esme and rechristening her “Lesme”
- Yelling slurs like butch and dyke at her daily
- Telling her to go cut for being “so gross” after seeing her self harm scars
-Other fuckwittery she’d forcibly cover my ears during so that I didn’t have to hear it
After about six months she dumped me and made a very public show of having sex with as many boys as possible. When she dumped me she told me she wasn’t gay and she only started flirting with me again after she’d moved away to another school.
These days I know I’m Bisexual, and one day I might date a guy and all this will be behind me. I could comfortably and happily date a boy and I know that suddenly I’ll stop being THE lesbian. I’ll be left alone.
But that begs the question- What happens to the actual lesbians? The girls who like girls and can’t just bi their way out of the harrasment? You want to know what happened to all the young lesbians at my school?
The three lesbians in the year below me had their personal boundaries broken by boys all the time. Boys who’d push between them at lunch time and touch them inappropriately. Boys who’d see them holding hands and yell homophobic slurs. Boys who were “just being funny” Boys who still do this unchallenged by staff. One of these girls now identifies as a straight boy. The other two are gender fluid.
The two girls in my year who have been a couple for about five years, one of whom is gay and the other is Bisexual, were verbally abused multiple times in front of me and countless times beyond that. Both self harm and now one of them (who was told to get out of the girls bathroom for looking like a guy when we were 12) identifies as non binary. She is also (by identification) no longer a lesbian.
Her best friend is now also non-binary. And also no longer a lesbian.
There were once quite a few open lesbians at school and now there are non. A few bi girls exist here and there but for the most part they either stay off the radar by remaining single/dating guys or by dating girls outside of school. I know of a few closeted lesbians (like my little sister and her secret girlfriend) but any other girls who don’t exclusively like men identify as queer.
There are no more lesbians at my school. Make of this what you will.
How do you guys view anatomy? The way I look at it is anatomy and gender are separate. What we perceive to be male/female/intersex genitalia has no impact on gender. I think anatomy is just for reproduction purposes.
This is something I personally struggle with and don’t really have a very clear answer to. Since I work in a clinic with drug trials, and our medical protocols divide things by “male” and “female,” I don’t really know how else to label people who don’t use an identity that more closely matches a particular anatomy. For example, I’ve had a trans woman in one of my trials who hadn’t transitioned, and because of certain clinical guidelines, I had to label her under “male” in order for her to be eligible for the trial (which she consented to). Honestly, I’m not sure what a clear answer would be, but maybe someone else can give a better answer?