people: chelsea peretti

SILVERFISH. or house centipedes, there’s some differentiation there that people are making, anywAY i found one of those mother fuckers in my home, i will never be the same.  those things move faster than i’ve seen anything move, dare i say the speed of light have. a little bit of competition! now silverfish if you’re listening, FUCK YOU.  FUCK.  YOU.  you’re so grossss, i don’t want your, even if it raises my stats of listeners, i don’t. want. you. to. listen. i hate you sIL VER FISH.  fuck you silverfish you’re disgusting, if you’re listening pack up your little disgusting 500 tiny bags for your legs that are all so plentiful and disgusting and GET OUT.  YOU’RE GROSS.  I HATE YOU.  *SOBS* you move so fast, i don’t think i could outrun a silverfish, it’s so scary!  they have so many legs, they look soft ewwww ewwww their antennae are so long, UGH.  i threw that susie essman book at it to kill it, NO DISRESPECT SUSIE. but that book was the hardest one i had on my bookshelf and dare i say i thREW IT WITH ALL MY MIGHT!  i hurledthat susie essman book at that silverfish with a FER O CI TY.  and i’ve gotta say i probably threw it 5 times until i hit that motherfucker square in it’s disgusting backkkkk.  DARKSIDED.  YA DARKSIDED you’re not chRISTIAN