Okay but the idea that asexuals and aromantics should not be included in the LGBT+ acronym or don’t have a place in the queer community just seems to be so petty to me?
Like… I understand that the problems that asexuals, aromantics and same-sex attracted people face are largely entirely different. But that doesn’t make them irrelevant. In much the same way, the oppression that trangender people face is entirely different to the oppression that gay people face, which also has some differences with the issues that bi/pan/poly people face. There are multiple letters in the LGBT+ acronym for a reason. And to lump them all together and to assume that for anyone to be a part of it they have to have struggled with exactly the same issues is so reductive.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, there needs to be intersectionality because we aren’t all the same. There are issues that affect gay people distinctly. There are issues that affect bi people distinctly. There are issues that affect FtM and MtF people distinctly, and there are issues that affect non-binary people distinctly. There is, of course, a lot of overlap, but to assume we’re all facing the same oppression and difficulties, and that meeting that criteria is necessary to be part of this community, is ridiculous.
Asexual and aromantic people should not step on same-sex attracted people’s toes. They shouldn’t speak over them about issues that don’t affect them (such as marriage equality), but likewise same-sex attracted people shouldn’t talk over trans people on issues they do not experience and have never faced. Instead of focusing on gate-keeping who is and isn’t allowed into the LGBT+ community as a whole, we should be focused on creating safe spaces for different people, and respecting one another, and fighting towards a common goal.
You’re right - asexual/aromantic people have not been stripped of their rights because of their asexuality/aromanticism; hypersexualisation and the assumption that sexual/romantic desires are basic parts of human nature is just not comparable to being killed or fired or attacked for being gay. But the hypersexualisation that’s commonplace in modern Western society is comparable to heteronormativity. Similarly, asexuals are often told they have a medical condition, or that they need to be fixed and sent to sex therapy. You don’t think that sounds familiar?
The reality is that sexuality just doesn’t operate on a straight-gay binary or spectrum. It’s more complex than that. There are spectrums of sexual and romantic attraction (how and how much you experience those attractions), as well as orientations (which gender(s) you are attracted to). So yes, asexuality and aromanticism are in many ways, a separate thing to your orientation. But gender also operates entirely differently to orientation, so should trans people too just make an entirely separate community for themselves? Or can we come to a place where we accept that different doesn’t have to mean “not welcome in this community”.
And the worst part of it is, these arguments (in my experience) have largely been coming from gay and lesbian people, who have historically continually lorded it over over LGBT+ people, particularly bi and trans people, by erasing them or dismissing them because they’re ~not queer enough~…