people who need to stop it

anonymous asked:

I trust nobody who says queer is a slur or says not to use it. They sound like a Terf and i dont fuck with terfs. And at the very least are adopting terf rhetoric and being willfully ignorant. Its always cis gay people saying this stuff too

A lot of people on tumblr are probably too young to remember this but every time I see arguments against the word queer I’m always reminded to back in the early 2000s when the most common slur used against us was not queer but gay.

This was SUCH a major problem and the use of gay as a slur was so widespread that there was an entire campaign made to get people to stop using it as a slur—celebrities who used gay as a slur got major backlash and had to go on Late Night shows to apologize, there were commercials on tv, posters in schools, a whole thing made specifically to get people to stop using gay as a slur.

Through alllll of that though? Literally I never heard a single person suggest that gay people should stop calling themselves gay. Never was it suggested that people should censor the word gay. Never was it suggested that people should stop using the word gay except to stop using it in a negative manner or as an insult. The onus on gay no longer being used as a slur was completely on the people who were using it as a slur, gay people were never painted as the ones who needed to change because it was clear that they were not the ones doing something wrong, and that campaigning? It worked. There are still people out there who use gay as a negative word, don’t get me wrong, but it’s certainly not as widespread now as it was then and the awareness campaign probably had a lot to do with that.  

And it just continues to strike me as totally odd that the debate over the term queer is happening on a total opposite level—the answer people have to queer being used as a slur is not to get people to stop using it as a slur but to apparently censor and punish queer people for being queer. The onus on change happening is not being put on the people who are doing something wrong (i.e. people who use queer as a slur) but on people who aren’t.

(Meanwhile, however, these people totally forget that not that long ago gay was being thrown around as the slur of choice, that many people have the same negative connotations with the word gay that they do with the word queer, and yet you KNOW that if anyone ever asked people to tag the ‘g slur’ that they would be going off in a hot minute and talking about how unfair that would be)

And to stop going off and actually finally reply to your message: queer IS a slur but it is not ONLY a slur. It has, on a large level, been reclaimed through many painful years. That doesn’t mean that EVERYONE has to reclaim it if they don’t want to or that people aren’t allowed to be uncomfortable with it being applied to them (because you don’t have to and you can be) but you cannot pretend that queer is, only ever has been, and only ever will be a slur and you cannot pretend that the work that queer people have put into reclaiming it and making a positive out of it did not happen because it did and it’s disrespectful as fuck to pretend otherwise.

And, yeah, a lot of the argument over the word queer—as well as so much of the 'disk horse’ quite frankly—is TERF rhetoric. That doesn’t mean that everyone who perpetuates this argument is a TERF (because they’re not) but r*dfem ideology is an honest to god poison that has infected tumblr and so many people who have consumed it don’t even realize it. They get fed this shit, they believe it because the people who feed it to them are very good at wording their shit in a way that makes sense to people who don’t know any better, and then they repeat it not realizing what the root of it is.

Anyway, here is an additional link to a decent post to read about the word queer if anyone is interested and I want to make it clear that while I won’t use queer as an umbrella term for the entire LGBTQIA+ community (because I respect how people identify and do not identify) and I tag all posts as #queer, I am not going to stop using the term entirely, I’m not going to stop making posts directed at/for queer people, and I’m not going to censor the word. It’s totally valid for people to be uncomfortable being called queer because they have negative connotations with the word but it’s important for people to realize that they’re experiences are not everyone’s and that just because something makes you uncomfortable does not mean that that something should not exist.

The answer to gay being used as a slur was not to punish gay people or to make them stop being gay and the answer to queer being used as a slur is not to punish queer people and make them stop being queer because someone being queer—using the word queer for themself, identifying with it, and finding positivity in it—is not a bad thing and treating like it is is to be ignorant of LGBTQIA+ history and to be callous towards other LGBTQIA+ people who identify as queer and who are not even remotely affecting you (much less harming you) by doing so.

I’m not trying to be rude but it would be so easy to stunt if you didn’t have to pay rent. People my age living with their parents not paying rent wearing supreme head to toe and the newest Nike collabs and raf and OFF white, and walking with a new opening ceremony bag, and the newest acne jeans, and all this stuff. and I start getting down on myself about the fact that I don’t have all that but like? If you’re working 30 hours a week at a luxury retail job even in the lowest position, you could be making close to $2,000 a month… if not more! just for buying fun shit… lmao so I need to stop getting myself down about paying rent and student loans and bills and comparing myself to people who are keeping $2,000 a month to flex while I’m saving and paying rent and I just started working at my job. And I love my job and it’s so easy and positive and it’s not even my last step?? I JUST got here and I just moved out of the state***** 100% independently? Why am I so self critical?!?! I’m fine and I’m doing my best! And I can get all the same things and flex this month! Because now I’m making money!!!!!! And money isn’t even real! It’s almost my birthday 🐳

superskara  asked:

Wait Melissa's sister isnt straight? where did you hear that? also im so tired of all the Melissa is a lesbophobe nonsense. How is there any proof to support that claim other than her laughing along to a joke a co star made? she didnt even realize that the joke came off as homophobic and insensitive to people ugh.

Well her sister Jessica has a twitter, and:

Plus, from what she tweets, it was just kinda obvious that she likes women and men??? Honestly don’t know where these people got the impression that she’s straight.

As for if Melissa is homophobic, I’ve talked about this subject quite a bit. (Here’s a breakdown of why I don’t think the initial event was actually homophobic at all, as a glance into the conversations I’ve been having and where about I stand.)

But you’re right. 

The only reason Katie later (after laughing at the joke along with everyone else, initially) emphasized validation of supercorp shippers (something for which Melissa showed strong agreement with, and something Katie mentioned that they had already privately talked about being a positive thing before) was likely because she has first hand experience with f/f shippers who deal in subtext and knows, because of what they told her, how personally important it is to us. 

She recognized that it was insensitive.

But even Katie didn’t think it was homophobic, or she wouldn’t have laughed in the first place.

But I think it should be noted that people are throwing around the word “lesbophobe” ‘lightly’.

For people who are actually fans of Melissa and would care if Melissa were homophobic, there’s no way to take this lightly. But the majority of people who are engaging in this casual meme-ifying of ‘melesbophobe’ are Katie fans, some of which who are prepared to jump ship for the first sign of another female character she can play off of. (*cough* reigncorp *cough*)

But it’s possible that many don’t actually think that Melissa is homophobic.

One person I talked to who called her a homophobe said that they didn’t really think she was. But they were doing it anyway.

I’ve seen people say that Melissa is homophobic but that she’s hot/they’d fuck her anyway. I don’t know about you, but if I genuinely think that someone is homophobic??? I’m no longer attracted to them?????? So I doubt these people really believe she’s homophobic, either.

It’s likely a move done out of anger.

They know Melissa isn’t homophobic, but they call her it anyway, because they’re mad at her and want to get back at her. They could care less how she or her fans feel or if it’s actually accurate in any way.

I’d also wager that some people think that others truly think she’s homophobic, so if they still like her in some way or wanna reblog something about her, they have to first call her homophobic so as not to be accused of thinking the wrong thing.

So many don’t want or need proof that she’s homophobic or even a sound argument for it, cause it’s all just one big joke to them. And they don’t have to stop making this joke even though it’s incorrect, cruel, and hurts queer people who are actually fans of Melissa, because they can use their own hurt as an excuse, their supposed moral rightness as a shield. 

They’re like a king claiming divine righteousness in their actions while—if the people don’t wish to challenge the application of the belief system itself—all anyone else can say is, “yeh but ur being a dick.”

Personally, I’m of the “cutting people’s heads off for little crimes is dumb idc if god said it’s okay” vein, across the board.

I recently started feeling comfortable enough to identify as biracial, but it still feels like a big deal to me.

My mother’s family is Irish. My great grandmother lived in Boston during NINA, and then the rest of my family settled in a predominantly Irish community in a nearby town. Everyone in my family on that side married someone else Irish, with the exception of my mother.

My father’s family is Indonesian. My Oma escaped a war camp on the island and made her way to the Netherlands, where she met my Opa, another Indonesian refugee. It was dangerous to be Indonesian in the Netherlands at the time, so my father was born and raised there as Dutch, until he moved to America. Because he was raised to believe being Indonesian is bad, he denies his heritage completely.

I grew up hearing that I’m “obviously Asian” from my mother’s family, but my father’s family staunchly refers to themselves as white to the point that my brother and cousins also feel disconnected. I wanted to be proud of my Indonesian heritage, but because I’m so pale and because my paternal family still denies who they are, I had no idea how to be proud of who I am. In high school I always had to have pictures of my family on hand to “prove” that I’m Indonesian, and even then, people still accused me of lying. In college, I didn’t want to be seen as just another white person claiming a heritage, so I stopped talking about it entirely until recently.

 I’m not in school anymore. I don’t have to deal with white boys wanting an Asian girlfriend, or Asian boys telling me I’m not Asian enough. I don’t feel like I need to justify my existence to my peers anymore. My friends now are very accepting, and my boyfriend is also biracial, so he understands the ambivalence I feel. I’m 25 and I finally feel like I belong.

It’s amazing what support does for you!

anonymous asked:

Whenever someone is like "I don't support pedophilic ships," I'm like ok, but are we talking about a pre-pubescent child and an adult? Or a 16 y.o and an 18 y.o bc there's a difference hunty

Literally same. Like when someone posts something like “pedophiles are bad!!!!” It’s like ok do you mean actual pedophiles who are abusing kids bc yeah totally I agree or are you meaning people who ship a fictional ship with a slight age gap bc if so you need to stop

Anywhore if I see any more things like “nobody asked you”, “you obviously support white people” or “your ship is abusive” I’m going to fucking end you, you so-called pacifists who want equal rights because what you are doing and have been doing for a long time is hating on minors that may not even know that well.

Stop harassing people over opinions regarding fandoms BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE KIDS AND THEY DON’T NEED YOUR BULLSHIT.

If you tell a little girl that “you make me uncomfortable” because she posted something about how much she loves her favourite fictional character, you disgust me.

If you tell a little boy that “you are obviously homophobic” because he ship a hetero ship, you disgust me.

If you tell a child OR EVEN A TEENAGER(because e.g some minors watch Game of Thrones) that they are disgusting because of a character they like or a ship they like, you disgust me.

Same goes for the opposite case.

If someone says they don’t like a character, They. Do. Not. Fucking. Like. A. Character. For example, I didn’t like Tina in Glee, does that mean I’m fuckin racist? No. It means I didn’t like Tina’s character.

If someone says they don’t like Nalby from The Maze Runner, does it mean they are racist towards Alby? No, it means they don’t ship Nalby.

If someone says they don’t like Brittana from Glee, it doesn’t mean they are against all lesbian relationships, it just means they don’t ship that ship.

It costs literally 0€ to not be an asshole for something as silly as a fandom.

Rose and Sam tho

I was just re-listening to the episode where sam and caleb meet for the first time and about what sam said and i might be a bit late for the party but i was thinking about this for a while and i think i can put it into words now.

Sam needs someone to relate to in her experiences. Someone who knows what it’s like to have your ability stop you from making connections and that makes you isolated. She could use that kind of a person; who has an ability that, in its core, stops you from relating to people.

Insert rose.

She has that ability. She goes to others dreams, basically traveling in a place make any changes and even if she can, it’s a dream. They are going to forget it five minutes after waking up. Her ability isn’t something you can really share with anyone, she can’t take photos or things. It stops her life, maybe she doesn’t actually disappear like sam but she does fall asleep in the middle of life with no control (for now)

Basically, two girls with very private abilities that make them go away at random times (or at least uncomfortable) on their own adventures that they can’t really share with anyone, shit can also get intense in there.

I just think it’s something they can bond over a little. I think it will be good for both of them, but for sam a bit more so.

Give my girls love.

I’m so proud of my Mexican people. The red cross actually had to release a statement asking people to stop volunteering because there were so many already. Every supermarket/convenience store is empty because everyone is buying what they can and giving it to people who need it. University students are organisng themselves in groups to go help in any place or even State that needs it, children are helping make sandwiches for volunteers and also kits that have food and supplied.

I’ve never been as proud as I am of being able to call myself a Mexican.

We all stand together, and nothing can bring us down.

anonymous asked:

i'm so dysphoric abt my chest and i would for sure get top surgery at some point when/if i could afford it, but it's already so weird being a butch lesbian in ~queer spaces~ that i feel like getting top surgery would be just another reason for people to tell me to stop identifying as a woman ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Eh, they’re not going to think of you as female anyway tbh. I’m still deciding whether i want to go with top surgery or a reduction (funny enough it would be way easier for me to get top surgery because it can be hard for fat women to get reductions approved) because I hsve intense top dysphoria but I think that decision needs to take into account your own feelings before those of people who are already not thinking of you as a woman. Step one is leaving queer spaces honestly. I suggest this to every butch I know because they are bad for us. The thoughts of people like that are unimportant to me and I think it’ll be healthy for you to disregard their thoughts on this too tbh.

I’m not saying to disregard other people’s reads on you entirely. I pass a lot of the time without trying to, and if I get top surgery I’ll pass a lot more often and maybe 100% of the time, which based on conversations with women, mostly detransitioned, who’ve had top surgery (some of whom do not regret it at all and some of whom deeply do) is likely to freak me out and potentially even cause a new and more upsetting form of dysphoria. That’s something to consider for sure. There’s also the potential for loss of sensation or, worse, nerve damage that results in constant discomfort.

Just saying that how people in queer spaces see you is not going to change because it already isn’t accurate yknow.

midnight-lesbian  asked:

As someone else who worships Artemis and doesn't want to argue with people about how I feel about her, I hope people stop bothering you about that. You shouldn't need to explain your beliefs to people, they just need to know that you're uncomfortable with making things to do with Artemis and move on. I hope you have a great day, regardless of this!

Thank you for this. It kind of bothers me I have to keep explaining myself over and over again. Even Hima is getting a little bothered by it.But I hope for now people can understand.

sb:cersei makes jaime an awful person . blah blah blah . jaime & brienne for life .
me, an intellectual:jaime is his own person . NO ONE MADE JAIME LANNISTER DO ANYTHING THAT HE DIDNT WANT TO DO . gdi . i am going to write a meta about this eventually . cause yall need to stop , especially the braime shippers . always coming for cersei , chill out . i am not anti jaime & brienne , but i am anti the people who ship it & hate cersei . k thanks for dealing with my trash blog .

So this is the second time I had to block someone for posting unnecessary comments.

Please respect each others opinions.

Clearly, some like it (’What she needed’ as one person I blocked said. And clearly supported it on their blog by calling people who stopped playing because of the game ‘bad mercy’s’.) others don’t like it.

So, to those who left Overwatch because of the changes: I hope you’ll find a game that made you feel as good as Overwatch made you feel, maybe even better.

To those who like the new Mercy: That’s great! Keep playing as her and have fun

anonymous asked:

hi I just want to share this thing I keep thinking about since Haz did that livestream on IG and we hear Tom singing perfect by ed sheeran... I mean, do you think he would be the type of person who would sing in his wedding day? cause I keep thinking about him singing this song to whoever he get married and I get all emotioned and stuff cause he has a beautiful voice and I just can't stop thinking about it so that's why I'm here I needed to share this

i don’t know. i just feel like he might be too shy to sing in front of people, he’s sing for you privately maybe, on the honeymoon, at home, before the wedding probably!

anonymous asked:

I'm starting to transition and had a meeting with my PCP about top surgery. She gave me a referral, told me I didn't have to do a psych eval, and that it should take a month or maybe two. Today I talked with the consultant and she said I actually do have to go through an entire psych eval which in and of itself will take several months. I know it's not a big deal, it should still be less than a year and that's more than a lot of people, but I'm so fucking upset and I can't stop crying.

Hey there, I’m sorry you were mislead by your PCP. Each surgeon has different requirements. I didn’t need a specific psych eval for surgery, but I did need a referral for HRT. It depends on who you have really. But you are still gonna get there. This is just a minor setback. Youre gonna be okay


the-final-battle  asked:

Sister Ara I know you’re going through a lot but stay strong. We all Have each other’s back because we’re EXO-Ls.

It made me so happy when i saw on twitter and fb so many fan bases that are gathering funds to donate. Guys this means a lot to all of us. Always together, we are one world. I love you all.

choco anon: I honestly blame global warming. Why don’t people realize that? As global warming rates are growing so are natural disasters, is it that hard to connect the two? There is so much going on in only a few months. We need to put our heads together to stop this. I’m so sorry you had to experience this Ara. I have great sympathy for everyone who was involved in natural disasters in general. It’s going to take time to get over it so take the time. I’m just so glad you are safe. Take care Ara! ChocoAnon
i blame us. I mean i know there are people who worry and do something but you guys know what i mean. I just hope that if the hurricanes weren’t enough, this opens the rest of the world’s eyes and start doing something because I’m honestly if it continues things will go bad for us. I see like a way for the earth to defend/ heal herself.

anon 9: Whenever things look bleak and obsolete one of the most co fitting thoughts to me is that humans will always find a way to survive. Though things seem dark and that light and happiness will never shine through, I promise that you will be able to make it and become stronger from the experiences you go through now. It’s human nature. I promise that one day you’ll look back in all the bad things that are happening now and be proud of yourself because you kept your head up high and you made it.
Yes. Yes i completely agree with you and this applies to everything not just natural disasters and catastrophes. We need to keep our head high and not give up and if we can help others while in our way, even better.

shaladin safe space

please reblog this if you’re pro-shaladin, or at least are not anti-shaladin. i need to know that there are more of us out there, shipping and multishipping and seeing shiro happy with his paladins. also i want more shaladin-positive blogs to follow.

this blog is a shaladin safe space.

Psst.. Jack, dude... c’mere...

You know how we’re ALWAYS telling you that it’s not only PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE, but also FRANKLY ADVISABLE you to take a break?

This tour is that time. 

A four day break between tours is NOT enough time to prep for 12 days on tour. Even if you started now, you’d work yourself to the bone for an entire MONTH then be too drained to be at your best for those who paid for tickets to see you do something we’re all so utterly proud of you for achieving.

While some people who missed on tickets will be understandably upset about missing content too, if EVER there’s a time they’ll understand about overwork it’ll be this tour. If EVER there is a time we’ll tell you to STOP prepping and overworking it’s when you’re sacrificing uploads for such an amazing goal that we’re all desperate to see you not only exceed at, but thoroughly enjoy.

You’ve earned the break. It’s not a vacation. There’s no guilt here.

We love you.

We understand and support you.

Go reach for those stars.  Keep in touch with us on tour. HAVE FUN. That’s all we need.