people of influence

When you grow up in an abusive environment, you’re often told that the only way to get out is to pull yourself up from your bootstraps, to understand how messed up your home life was all on your own, to recognize your own self-worth and to teach yourself all the skills you were never taught before. Many times, when I would point out that I couldn’t leave my abusive family because I didn’t have the social support in place to do so, people would dismiss that as not a real concern – one time I was told that thinking this way was me thinking that I needed a savior, and I needed to just give up this idea that someone would rescue me and rescue myself.

I don’t know if people understand the implication of this belief though. One of the reasons emotional abuse is so damaging is because other people play a major role in shaping how you see yourself. When those people are positive influences in your life, it’s very easy to believe that how you see yourself is based solely on your own self-creation. But if that were true, then the implication follows that people who were emotional abused were only abused because they were so weak as to rely on others for their self-perception. 

Let me tell you what has been the most healing force in my life – being in an environment where I am only surrounded by positive influences. Where all the abusive messages I received are slowly being overwritten by more positive ones.

I noticed this recently when I was thinking about how I hate how my clothes fit. And my next thought was, “Hmm, I wonder what it takes to learn how to tailor your own clothes,” and, after googling it, my first thought was, “you know, I think one day I could learn to do that.”

Me. The person who grew up to believe that they were inherently stupid, inherently incapable of learning, the person whose mother told them that they had no talent, no skill, no nothing, that no matter what they tried they would fail. I have reached a point where I believe that I can learn things, that I can want to do something and then take the steps to learn how to do it.

It has taken four years – four years! – of being constantly surround by a social support system that encourages me, that tells me I can do things, I can learn, that honestly tells me when I need to improve something while also telling me when I’ve done something well, for my mothers words to lose some of their power. They’re still there, but now there are new words in my life. Because people matter. Because social supports are a necessary part of undoing the damage of abuse.

Dylan Klebold Birthday Profile: Part 2

Originally posted by rebvodka-closet-admirers

A profile of Dylan Bennet Klebold, born on September 11, from The Secret Language of Birthdays, by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. (Gif credit to @rebvodka-closet-admirers)

NUMBERS AND PLANETS

Those born on the 11th of the month are ruled by the number 2 (1+1=2), and by the Moon. Since those ruled by the number 2 often make good co-workers and partners, rather than leaders, this complements the orderly and conventional side of September 11 mentioned earlier. Imaginative and witty qualities are further enhanced in September 11 people by the influence of the Moon and of Mercury (which rules Virgo), and the former may also convey strongly reflective and passive tendencies. The number 11 lends a feeling for the physical plane (reinforcing the mental concentration and earthiness of Virgo).

“i think a lot. Think… Think… that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking… all the time… my mind never stops…” – Dylan Klebold

TAROT

The 11th card of the Major Arcana is Justice, a serene seated woman holding the scales in one hand and a sword in the other. She reminds us of the order of the universe and that balance and harmony will be maintained in our lives as long as we continue on our path. The positive aspects of this card are integrity, fairness, honesty and discipline; the negative aspects are low initiative, impersonality, fear of innovation and grievances.

I hate this non-thinking stasis. Im stuck in humanity. maybe going “NBK” (gawd) w. eric is the way to break free. i hate this.” – Dylan Klebold

HEALTH

September 11 people are particularly prone to difficulties with eating and digestion. Some born on this day devote a great deal of time to figuring out what is the best diet to avoid stomach and intestinal difficulties. Finicky eaters, they can nonetheless gorge themselves on foods they like. In this regard they must take particular care with sugar and alcohol. Psychologically, September 11 people have a tremendous need to nurture, and expressions of love of all kinds, often toward pets and other friendly animals, will be of great importance to their mental well-being. Exercise may not come naturally to September 11 people, but they must remind themselves of its importance for their health. Gravitating toward a more sedentary lifestyle may prove debilitating.

“Later that month, he woke up in the middle of the night with terrible stomach pains. We were concerned enough to take him to the emergency room, where they ruled out appendicitis and everything else. Puzzled the doctors released him, and he appeared to recover completely. I would later learn that unexplained somatic symptoms, particularly abdominal pain, may be a marker for depression.” – Sue Klebold, A Mother’s Reckoning

“Dylan, sensitive like his mother, worried the cougars would eat his cats, Lucy and Rocky.” – Lynn Bartels and Carla Crowder, Fatal Friendship, Rocky Mountain News 

ADVICE

Don’t take yourself and your beliefs so seriously. Be more forgiving. Try to understand what makes others act the way they do. Being secretive may not be necessary. Develop your natural talents. Dare to fail.

“One of the traits that marked Dylan throughout his life was an exaggerated reluctance to risk embarrassment, something that intensified as he entered adolescence… Dylan did not laugh easily at his own foibles. He could be unforgiving of himself when he failed at anything, and he hated to look foolish.” – Sue Klebold, A Mother’s Reckoning

MEDITATION

Laugh ‘til it hurts – cry ‘til you laugh

honestly it’s crazy to me that there are people that genuinely believe that it’s unreasonable or unrealistic that Steve Rogers would choose Bucky Barnes over anyone else. and not even looking at it romantically. even though Steve is adapting to this world, it’s still not his world, and everyone in this world knew him as Captain America first and Steve Rogers second. everyone else around him will always be slightly removed from his reality bc their idea of him will always be clouded by knowing about him as a legend first and then discovering the person behind it. can you even imagine how isolating that must be? the only person alive on the planet that knew Steve first, connected with Steve first, loved Steve first, is Bucky. the only person that knew him as a person and saw that person become a hero is Bucky. Bucky is always going to be the person Steve is connected to deepest because he’s connected to Steve first and foremost, everyone else is connected to the persona of Cap before the person of Steve.

i’ve already seen a few people already criticise junhong for his tattoo or disregard it as ‘yongguk’s influence,’ and it’s been pretty upsetting to see how some are treating him. none of us know the significance of ‘relation in time’ to junhong. he is someone who truly lives for art, and the piece is obviously really meaningful to him - why else would he get it permanently on his skin? if you don’t agree with his tattoo, keep it to yourself. his body is his own, and he can do whatever he wants with it without approval from others.

There are two kinds of writers
  • Writer A: My writing must conform to the laws of reality, each and every detail in my story must be accurate. Everything in my story, no matter how irrelevant, must be thoroughly researched. People must act exactly how they do in real life.
  • Writer B: It's fucking fiction. I write what I want.
For people still confused about Flip Flappers, and wanting to know ~what it all means~

Originally posted by velo

Flip Flappers so far is strongly considered by the bulk of those critically examining it to be about 2 CORE THEMES, that have been strongly reinforced every single episode so far, and none more so than the most recent episode 7 at time of writing;

1) Flip Flappers is about Narratives. How stories are told, what they mean, and how they affect people. Including influencing how they act and think.

2) Flip Flappers is about a young girl coming to terms with her repressed queer sexuality and her rising feelings for her new friend, struggling with what it means about who she is as a person, and what her place in the world is. It deliberately invokes established themes from mainsteam lesbian (’yuri’) fiction to criticize, celebrate, and reflect on the medium and how its narratives relate to queer girls’ sexual awakenings.

3) These two interact on each other, and question how societal narratives and ideas influence one’s perception of themselves. It questions how either deliberate manipulation or careless misuse of narratives; stories, ideas- can affect how people’s personalities and lives develop, and the power and danger of narratives in shaping who someone is. 

I just feel like I don’t have enough wisdom about myself as a person yet to go out there and say to 20 million followers on Twitter, and these people on Facebook, and whoever else is reading whatever interview I do, “Vote for this person.” I know who I’m going to vote for, but I don’t think that it’s important for me to say it, because it will influence people one way or another. And I just want to make sure that every public decision I make is an educated one.
—  Taylor Swift making actual sense. Democracy is about people making their own, educated choices. Not voting based on who their favorite celebrity likes.
Human beings are creatures of emotion, not creatures of logic. They crave for a feeling of importance.
—  Dale Carnegie

“Fiction isn’t reality! / It’s just fiction”

Buddy, pal… Ayn Rand’s novel Atlas Shrugged is considered the 2nd most influential book in American History after the Bible itself, which makes it the Most influential Fiction book. Every fiscally Conservative politician has read it and lives by Rand’s objectivism. But it’s ~just fiction~ which is why Speaker of the House Paul Ryan’s entire ethos is based almost entirely in Ayn Rand’s philosophy

For context, Ayn Rand believed that Selfishness was a virtue and Empathy was by extension a vice and a form of parasitism. Putting the needs of others above your own needs was the highest form of evil her philosophy. She once described a serial killer as a “Superman” because “other people do not exist to him, nor should they.”

Now back to Paul Ryan, the man behind the gutting of the ACA, he, a conservative, says that the conservative morality is laid out in Atlas Shrugged, and he’s not the only one who believes this. Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Bachmann, Ron and Rand Paul, and basically every major Libertarian politician all cite Ayn Rand as an influence (and it’s probably why Ron Paul named his son Randall).

The entire objectivist morality is that the government is an anathema to the Individual, which is sacred.

Individuals, especially rich, selfish individuals = good
Government = bad

Sound familiar?

But sure,,,,,, fiction is fiction so it doesn’t affect the way people think,,,,,,, people can tell the difference,,,,,,,, ,,, fiction and reality are totally separate and one doesn’t influence the other,,,,,,,,,,,, obvi

If we have the energy of compassion and loving kindness in us, the people around us will be influenced by our way of being and living.
—  Thich Nhat Hanh

Elemental Imbalance

If your natal chart is lacking an element, at least one of the following may apply to you:

• You may suppress any qualities that come with the lacking element, or you may simply ignore these qualities. You may often struggle with understanding certain aspects to life.
• You tend to find yourself attracted to people with a heavy influence of the element you are lacking.
• Rather than suppressing the qualities of the element, you may try to excessively balance yourself out. However, you are likely to end up overly making up for it, thus creating more-so of an imbalance because you tend to overly redeem these qualities, creating an imbalance elsewhere.

The Elements

Fire: aliveness, spontaneity, adventure, creativity, independence, assertiveness, and passion — on the negative: aggression, impatience, and instability. Fire signs are the signs that radiate warmth with their fascinating air of joviality.

Earth: reliability, stability, down-to-earthness, pragmatism, responsibility, determination, and tangibility — on the negative:
greediness and overbearingness. Earth signs are the signs that build the structure of our being with their strong sense of discipline.

Air: social interaction, intellect, communication, expression, easygoingness, and idealism – on the negative: detachment, flakiness, and insensitivity. Air signs are the signs with the most mental stimulation, for they have receptivity like no other.

Water: empathy, intuition, inclined towards protection, sensitivity, emotional understanding, and intimacy — on the negative: emotionally controlled, impracticality, and manipulation. Water signs are the signs that see and understand complex realms of the world with their deep-seated sense of clairvoyance.

Weak Fire

You will feel inspired by people with fire dominance; therefore, you will seek people with such qualities because they have everything you need, thus feeling as though they can allow such qualities to be released out of you. With the absence of fire, you may also become very rash and aggressive, perhaps expressing more of the negatives of the element because you are trying to overcompensate for what you lack — unless, of course, you are either the type who is aware of its lacking, thus entirely suppressing it, or you are the type to completely neglect the lacking of the element within you.

Weak Earth

You will find yourself attracted to people with earth dominance because you crave sensuality, stability, and things of the sort. With the absence of earth, you may find yourself worrying far too much about the tangible aspects of life. You are too engrossed with the idea of being stable, often unable to understand where your balance stands, so you tend to become very controlling with attempting to create structure in your life. Of course, you may be the type to suppress the lacking earth element or to neglect it.

Weak Air

You will be very attracted to clever people because you often feel misunderstood in terms of self-expression and thinking approach. With the absence of air, you may engage in too many mental activities, thus becoming rather inconsistent. Otherwise, the same can be said with either suppressing the lacking air element, or neglecting it.

Weak Water

You will be very attracted to people who have emotional intensity like no other because you often struggle with understanding your own, fluctuating emotions. That said, you seek emotionally intelligent people. With the absence of water, you may become very hypersensitive and unstable, getting lost in your feelings. Either that, or you may resort to suppression and/or ignorance of your emotions.

The people in this world may influence you, but they do not make your decisions. Do not strike a match simply because it was handed to you. You may be cold, and it may be dark, but some things are not as easily undone as they seem. You may ignite more than you intend too.

If you are handed a match, I hope you hesitate.

question.

is it in poor taste to still use jontron reaction gifs even though he’s now completely outed himself as ignorant scum?

because damn if those gifs don’t still get a chuckle out of me, and i stg it’s the worst feeling to still like a good amount of someone’s content (not all, of course) while being perfectly willing to push them into an open manhole after braining them with a vodka bottle.