people need to know the truth

More truth

I’ve always had one foot out the door in relationships. Always looking around to see if there was something better, someone better. I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been that way. Sometimes I try to think if there was something in my past that made me that way. I know I have a ton of self protective walls in place that keep me from needing or relying on anyone too much. And they keep me from believing that people truthfully want me, maybe that’s why I’ve always jumped from man to man? It’s a way to keep me from getting too close to anyone? I don’t know. Or maybe I’m just a selfish bitch.

I do know I’m tired of doing it. I don’t want to do it to Brad. I want to be better. I want to do better for him but also, for me. I want to give myself a normal and real relationship where I just sit still and allow myself to be happy and not look for the next thing because truthfully from what I’ve seen, there isn’t anything better for me than him. No one I’ve talked to or hung out with holds a candle to him. I realized I just compare them to him and they fall short every time.

My mom said to me last night that she hopes Brad does move here because she wants that for me. She knows how happy he makes me and how much the girls like him and she wants that for me. It made me smile to hear that. She knows the whole truth of everything and to get her “blessing” was a big deal.

I want to be a better partner to him. Maybe I’ve grown up. Over the last month we’ve really laid our shit out on the table and we’ve both accepted the other’s wants, needs and concerns. The conversations we’ve had have been awesome. I cannot imagine having that with anyone else and I think of all the work and effort we’ve put in to be here. All the hurt and anger too because this has not come without a fight. We’ve both had to swallow some tough things to make this work. It hasn’t always been easy.

I want to stop being so quick to replace him when I feel like ONE thing is not working because even though that one, single thing might be “better” with someone else, they aren’t him, and that is just one thing when he is really everything to me. He is it and I have needed to stop pussy footing around and commit to it already and I think I have. I stop myself all the time now from my wandering thoughts and eyes, that’s progress, I think. I WANT to be better and I will. I know it will be tough to break old habits but I know he has my back and I have his. I want to be the partner and person he deserves. I hope I can be. I hope to be for myself as well.

lady--of--greenwood  asked:

Lol okay so I've been thinking about Elves - what else is new - and I realised we don't really know much about how they live in general. What was life in Gondolin like for example? Was there crime? Did the underlings of Glorfindel and co have to arrest people and investigate break ins? Did Ecthelion pull Glorfindel out of bed by the hair in the morning for their regular meetings with Turgon? What is the truth?!

SOMEONE DRAW THIS PLEASE

(I didn’t know I needed Glorfindel being pulled out of bed by the hair until I read this xd)

one of the reasons mental illness sucks so fucking much is because people around you can literally tell you again and again that they love you, that they think you’re cool and funny, that they support you in every way, that you’re talented or intelligent, and no matter how many times they say it you’ll always cringe and shake your head and say “no, no i’m not, really” but the SECOND someone says one bad thing about you, even just once. You believe it completely. 

Harry Potter being raised right, by Sirius Black who just ‘fuck rules, Moony, I’m not letting my Godson live in hell’ because he managed to transform into his animagi form and escape the scene of the crime before he got caught, and took Harry before Dumbledore said anything. Him technically being an Honorary Potter, still gives Harry the protection from Voldemort, while at 12 Grimmauld Place.

Him carrying a baby Harry, who just started speaking, his first words being, ‘Dada’, which makes him start to cry and ‘no, Harry, he’s not here. It’s only Padfoot and Moony now.’ And Harry giggling, because he’s only an infant, and is innocent like that.

Harry being sent to Neville Longbottom’s grandmother’s place during full moons so Padfoot can take care of Moony.

Harry when he’s 2, and can only call them ‘MoonMoon, and Pa'foo’ and laughing when they play Hide And Seek, and Moony just found Padfoot and Harry sleeping on the couch, Padfoot protectively draping his paw around Harry, in his animagi form, and Harry clutching onto the fur happily as he sleeps.

Moony and Padfoot buying a toy broomstick for Harry when he’s 4, and he learns to fly before he can walk, but, 'Its only two feet about the ground, Moony, relax.’

Harry finding the portrait of the Black Family tree, and seeing Padfoot blasted off of it. Harry getting angry, and drawing Padfoot back onto the portrait, with 'Padfoot’, with his crayons, and putting 'Moony’ next to it, and later covering all the other people in his black coloured crayon. 'I’m covering them up.’

Moony and Padfoot telling Harry the truth about his parents when he’s 7, because 'He’s old enough, Padfoot, and he needs to know what really happened. We’d be no better than those Dursleys if we didn’t.’

Harry understanding completely, crying a bit, in the middle of the night, but making sure no one heard him. The next day, Harry asks about his parents, and what they were like.

Harry getting small things that belonged to Lily, that Moony and Padfoot got from the house, and kept for him, including a picture of James and Lily’s first kiss, and many small muggle items she had from when she was small. He also got a sweater that belonged to James, which was from his Quidditch Practicing days.

Moony and Padfoot teaching Harry small jinxes and counter Jinxes when he’s 8, and Harry sneakily using a jinx on Padfoot because it was a prank war, and every prank war means at least one man having pink hair.

Harry when he’s nine, and being prepped on everything to do with Hogwarts, and how to get away from trouble, and which teachers to avoid or go to in the school, if Harry can’t contact Moony or Padfoot.

Harry being 10, and waking up in the middle of the night, to see Moony and Padfoot sleeping together on the couch, Moony putting his head on Padfoot’s lap, while his hand is in Moon’s hair, as he was playing with his hair before he fell asleep. Harry giggling, because 'Moony and Padfoot are in loveeee~’ yet neither of them deny it.

Harry getting his letter to Hogwarts as soon as he turns 11, and Moony and Padfoot’s throw a small party to celebrate, inviting Neville as well.

The three of them going to Diagon Alley, and many people greeting Harry, and Padfoot boasting about it, while Moony laughs.

Harry getting to meet many kids who might meet him at Hogwarts, including Ddaco Malfoy, and Padfoot growling when he sees Lucius, and says 'they’re a bad sort, Harry, keep away from them,’ but he didn’t listen, and being the small outgoing kid he was, he went to say 'Hi! Are you going to Hogwarts too?’ And Draco, actually being surprised and smiling awkwardly because his father was talking to the shopkeeper, at the corner of the room, so he didn’t know what to say, and he nods. Padfoot smiling because Harry looks happy, and Moony thinks that maybe Draco might be different.

Harry promising to send them letters every single day, by owl, while he hugs them goodbye, and runs towards the Hogwarts Express, waving at them until they are no longer visible.

Harry keeping his promise and telling Moony and Padfoot all about Hermione Jean Granger, and Ronald 'Ron’ Weasley, who are his new best friends, and Draco Malfoy 'who is an absolute git sometimes, but can actually be a sweetheart.’ and how Hermione and Ron managed to help him battle a troll in the girls bathroom, as well as meet Fluffy, the three headed dog, and how they played a game of wizard chess, and defeated Lord Voldemort, who was stuck on Professor Quirrell’s head, and how, when he saw the Mirror of Erised, he saw Padfoot, Moony, Lily, and James, (Or mum and dad) standing next to him, while they sat in the house. Oh and 'I’m seeker for the Gryffindors! Just like dad!’

Harry receiving a howler the next day, which was the day before Ron received it, and hearing Moony scream himself raw, 'YOU WERE TAUGHT BETTER THAN TO FIGHT WITH SEVERUS— “Moony, it’s Snivellus, Harry meant no harm, I’m sure of it.” — AND HAD ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT TO DISOBEY ORDERS. PADFOOT, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY? “I’m proud of you, Harry, keep up the good work. Tell Snivellus that if he irritates you any longer, he’s gonna have to speak to me.” PADFOO-’ And the Howler ends, bursting into flames, while Ron is laughing, and Hermione smiles, while Draco hollers a “congrats Potter!” and I AM SORRY FOR TAKING UP YOUR TIME BUT I VERY WELL NEED THIS IN MY LIFE, AND SO DO YOU.

I figured out how to stop loving someone you’re not supposed to love anymore. I know it sounds impossible but trust me, we’ve done it before. I told my first love that I’d love him forever, but I don’t anymore. He has a spot in my heart- just like my dog and my best friends and a teacher that changed my life- but I don’t love him anymore because that was a different person who was with him and I’m not her anymore. And one day, we’ll no longer love the people we love now, we just have to wait for ourselves to change again. And we try to speed it up by starting new hobbies, getting haircuts, moving, learning a new language. Anything. Because the sad truth is we know we need to shed part of ourselves to fall out of love. And that sucks but it’s necessary.
1st House - your Ascendant, your worldwide persona

Aries Ascendant - outspoken and very sensitive. They are called warriors of the zodiac and for a good reason. They always fight to the end for the cause they believe in and will do everything what it takes to win (literally). They are really smart and inventive. They like to instigate things and cause drama. They never take your advices. Honest and stubborn. They tend to take things to their heart (except advices) and they easily get offended. They crave romance and true love but they are way more shy about those things than people think. They really can get shy in love! But they want to be always considered strong so it is hard to see that side of them. They have a tendency to delete people from their life too fast, without giving it a second thought. Strong minded. Helpful. Sassy. They easily get jealous of others.

Taurus Ascendant - protective and sexy. Their presence is not that intense like Scorpio but still they are visible and hard to miss. Very sensual people. Their sexiness is more subtle and their beauty is very earthy like. They go back and forth with being economical and  impulsive with spending money (they might buy things they think they need when they really don’t). They are argumentative and tend to instigate things. They are really protective of their surrendings and people. Generous with their time and money unless you make them doubt your intentions. They can be very cold, calculative and emotionally detached when they need to be. 

Gemini Ascendant - funny and welcoming. They are very warm and always make people feel good with them. They will help you with opening up. They can be flighty and overly dramatic. Emotional people. They love diversity in every form. They love to learn new things and help other learn it too. Very helpful, they really want you to feel good around them. They do not want to negativity win over positivity. They can find hope and good in people everywhere. This does not mean that they are naive, no - they are very observant people and very smart. They need a lot of changes in their life. Freedom is their stability. They despise routine but they need it a little bit more in their life to keep their restlessness away from them.

Cancer Ascendant -  caring and proactive. They get things done. They are very emotionally and mentally strong. They really can get through a lot and stand still. Patient and caring, they treat their friends as their family members. They will always make sure that you will know how much they love you. They have good intuition and are people smart. They are creative and may appear more innocent that they really are. They will always encourage you to be better. They are very hard-working, they make sure to do things the best they can. Very goofy (when they feel comfortable with you). If you break their trust they will get very cold, logical and ruthless. They will call you out on the things you have done. They will never forget.

Leo Ascendant - generous and witty. Very loving and protective of their loved ones. The unique mix of softness and strength. The royal baby. They will rather die than let you win an argument. They tend to forget about their own worth and look for validation in the wrong places. They are very detail oriented about how they want to appear to the world (especially when it comes to their fashion choices). Creative, smart and devoted to their own art and style. They do not like changes and can be too much stubborn to admit that they need them. Very sensitive but they have amazing fighting spirit.

Virgo Ascendant - competent and charming. They are very sophisticated. Naturally smart, patient and observant. They have a lot of hidden charisma. They know how to act in social situations and keep their image clean. Creative. They are emotionally self-sufficent and they keep people at distance but they know how to appear friendly and welcoming. Other people may often come to them for their knowledge which they like to share. They usually have god complex and dislike when people act like they really know them. They like competent people. Meticulous and can be mean. They want to show the best of them to the world. 

Libra Ascendant - thoughtful and intuitive. They care about justice and balance and they can easily sense when something is “off”. They are really good at finding solutions. Impartial, they look at two sides before judging. They are people smart and helpful. Emotionally strong but when things go wrong they rely more on logic than emotions. They can get cold and distant when they feel they cannot trust someone. Trust is really important for them. If you break your word to them they may forigve you but will never truly forget. They are stylish, aesthetically pleasing and easily make people like them. They can become the ultimate queen b. They get things done and they do not like to sit and wait for things to escalate. 

Scorpio Ascendant - passionate and watchful. The infamous “mysterious and intense” ones. They definetely bring a lot to the table. They do not care much about others opinions but others tend to care about theirs. Beside the obvious sexiness, strong aura and intensity they have a lot of sensivity and thirst of knowledge inside of them. They like to discover secrets of the world and they are really good at it. They are careful and like to plan things. They observe people and rely on their instincts when judging them. They like to laugh with others and be more laid-back and goofy but only with those who gained their trust. They have strong convictions that they know how to defend. They are really caring and generous, they have this softness inside of them which they always choose not to show to the world. They are true fighters; they will not back down and run away from a fight but they really not aim to create everything into the battlefield. Ambitious, smart and really adventurous people.

Sagittarius Ascendant - jovial and intense. They have strong, warm aura that that attracts others to them. They are extra about every aspect of their life. Bold, independent and sometimes a little bit intimidating. They make a conscious effort to be funny (they prefer things be kept this way) but they can get serious very fast and when they do they become scary. They have short temper and sharp tongue. They will not tolerate any baloney. They will scream about it to the world if they have to. They will make a fuss about something but five seconds later they will act like nothing happened. They prefer to look at the bigger picture but still will check every little detail. They really do not know how to deal with sadness inside of them so they choose to ignore it and keep themselves busy on something “more interesting” than negative feelings.

Capricorn Ascendant - bold and confrontational. They do not back down from a challenge an actually are more drama prone that they will admit. They are passionate and very emotional but they do not show it easily to the world. They are diligent and prefer to keep the image of  professionalists. Independent, sassy, curious and smart, they know how to handle things. They despise incompetence but they are more forgiving if this incompetence come from other people and not themselves. They like affection and compliments especially about achievements, less looks. They are constantly misunderstood and people try to simplify them to being heartless workaholics but they are way more complex. They tend to be more confident when they got older, they need some time to asset themselves in the world but when they do they become ultimate bosses.

Aquarius Ascendant - serious but charming. They are a unique blend of a social butterfly and strong individualist. They like people and spending time with them but they also need a lot of solitude. They often feel outcasted because of their contrasted personality and are considered weird. They are not weird - they are just unapologetic about who they are and you have to deal with it, whether you like what you see or not. Aquarius will not change anything about themselves to make things easier (even when they crave to be understood they will stand still with who they are)They are very curious and have many interests. They need some time to really open up but when they do you can see their passionate, vulnerable and caring side. They really like and need affection. They are smart and blunt. They appreciate unconventional forms of romance. 

Pisces Ascendant - smart and incomparable. People see them as this weird, sad guys, who do not comprehend a normal human language. This is not true - they are complex and have many sides to them to show to the world. They easily get inspired by everything around them. They think they know how to blend in but the truth is that somehow they always stand out. They are intelligent, have unique sense of humour and way of looking at the world. They are brave, can get very argumentative when someone is talking about things they are passionate about. They can be both very logical and emotional, serious and goofy, loud and quiet. They are never one thing, they could never choose to be one. 

anonymous asked:

Do I really have to exist

i am not god; i sometimes think about how much doesn’t have to exist, myself included. it’s a problem i find a lot. i don’t feel necessary.

but then, neither is my dog. he is a sheepdog with no sheep. he has nightmares a lot. his purpose is moot.

one of my cats only eats bugs. he won’t catch mice. for an obligate carnivore, he loves moths.

is it required that i or you or anyone else exists. maybe not. but i kind of think of it as a small miracle. you do exist. despite how scientifically improbable it was for you to be created, you were. and something in that is beautiful, you know? the universe needed eyes to watch all these unnecessary things it created. you don’t spend hours on your sim house just to put no people in it. does a house require people to exist? no. but it does require people to be a home.

i know the world demands you Fulfill Thine Divine Purpose. i think that’s kind of bogus. you don’t have to be useful or valuable or exceptional to be worth something. my dog is worth so much to me. the idea that he’s not necessary is silly to me.

yes, i know. life goes on when people leave. true, and true indeed. i think about that a lot. but i also know that my sister’s cat goes to check to see if she’s home every night, and she’s been gone for months. 

grand scheme? who knows. but the truth is that other people need you because you help them feel like they exist with purpose. maybe you haven’t met the right people yet. i felt strongly in senior year of high school that nothing i did mattered - after all, i had no friends. i was bullied. if i died, it would make zero difference. and maybe it would have. maybe the gap would have filled after me. maybe my cat would learn that i was gone, that nobody was coming. maybe my mom would foster a new daughter. who knows. i’m not god.

but i do know if i didn’t exist. if i had taken myself off the table because i didn’t have to exist…. i wouldn’t be here talking to you and all of my new friends here. i wouldn’t tell you that, since you’re here, you might as well enjoy the rest of the things that shouldn’t exist. televisions are sound and image boxes. music and art and dance and writing don’t have to exist, but they do because they bring us joy, fill us with harmony. airplanes are godless flight machines and if god wanted us off the ground he would have given us wings.

airplanes were someone saying “this doesn’t have to exist, but i want it to.”  and i want you to exist because it’s worth it. it’s worth it for the dog you might adopt or the tattoo you might get or skinny dipping or writing songs or planting a garden. all things in life that won’t exist without you, that won’t happen without you around to make them happen. that need you to exist so they can exist too. 

please stay on this earth. i can’t force you, i can’t offer you a promise that the world ever stops hurting. but i can say that somewhere, to someone, you matter. and you matter to me, because you exist, because you reached out to me, because you have a question that i ask myself daily. 

here’s my suggestion. when i’m at the point that the rope has a stronger pull than the art of the world, i make myself count the things that are good, and didn’t have to exist, but do. libraries. books. bath bombs. me and you. because i know we can be a force for good, you and i. somewhere on some level we can help others or just help ourselves and that’s…. good. and i think, really, in this universe that loves entropy, yes, absolutely, we need you. we need the good you can do. and we need you. or, at least: i do.

Dear Self,

I know how you’ve been feeling today. Your life feels empty, and the sad truth is that you have nobody to blame for anything that’s happened . Unlike most people, you haven’t blamed yourself, because you know that you have done everything in your capacity to make things work, to make things happen. I know how ambitious you are, and you do everything you need to do to make your parents proud, to make them happy again. You have no one to share your pain with. Mainly since your pain isn’t because of some tragic accident or loss of life, neither is it because of a sappy breakup or a nasty flu.

But you can feel your true self breaking down a little bit more with every passing day. There’s so much you want to do and so much you want to achieve and you know that you have it in you, yet it’s always a dead end.

You look back in time and see a different version of yourself, someone you can’t recognize now. You have no idea how to define yourself any more. You were a social maniac and have always found yourself the most comfortable among people, lots and lots of people, friends, foes, family, strangers and you managed to plant a seed of memory into everyone you’ve ever met.

Now you’re uncomfortable to be around people, you repel even making a healthy eye contact with someone passing by. I know you aren’t scared or tense to interact with them - to ask how they’re doing, but you’ve lost the urge to make bonds anymore.

You’ve met all kinds of people, seen through each one of them but you’ve realized that no matter how well you know and understand them, you walk right into a boulder beyond which you cannot see, beyond which you know there’s a spot where all their weaknesses lie, and you peek between the brick walls and recoil back - you have seen the ugly side.

This side of them is nasty and no matter what is said or done following it, you’ve lost your trust, you just can’t go back to square one all over again. You know you can never be the same with them again. And as you walk away from them, you know they’ve taken off a small chunk out of you. These chunks total up to the whole of you and you lose yourself running away from them. You cannot risk losing anymore. So you walk alone, and everyday you die a little more.

You now focus on the few people you trust and you’d do anything for them. I know very well how greatly you suck at expressing your love towards these people, somehow you feel that if you reveal it to them you’ll lose the love you have for them, they’re eager and hope to hear it from you. Your family wants to hear you say that you love them. But you just cannot, because you’ve never learned how to. You’ve never told anyone confidently the way they show it movies, to confess love. You love them too much, it’s scary to say it out loud. But you show it in ways nobody ever does.

You have your own weird ways, only if they could listen. Only if they could listen when you scream at them and cry out of guilt the very next moment, when you swear at them now and internally curse yourself next, when you ignore them because you do not want to say you’re sorry, when you plan big to see them happy, when you struggle to smile even as you’re dying inside only so that they don’t sense your sadness.

You are scared to express that you are vulnerable and you are scared to admit that you are scared. You prefer to be an emotionless robot to them, because you’ll never be able to prove how much you really care. They distance themselves from you naturally, and again, you die a little bit inside.

But you know you’re amazing at being a lioness when you want to, your wounds make you stronger and that’s how you like seeing yourself - a lioness on the hunt. And you walk with all your pride as you walk by the people that you’d rather have by your side, again you die a little inside, yet you walk alone with all your pride.


Loads of Love,
Self.

- J.E.M

“I oppose fascists, but I also oppose antifa” to me might as well just read “I claim to oppose fascists, but I also oppose the only thing that can meaningfully stop them from recruiting and organizing for genocide.”

People seriously don’t get that the tactic of swaying the public through debate doesn’t work against fascists. Fascists don’t need majority approval or support to do horrible things, they just need to feel like there aren’t any significant social repercussions for it. If they don’t face backlash when they spread their propaganda and declare their intention to commit ethnic cleansing, that’s when they’ll know that they’ll be able to get away with actually doing what they intend to do.

And don’t delude yourself into thinking that you can convince fascists to change their mind with reason, because their arguments aren’t meant to adhere to reason or truth. Instead, they’re performative statements with two purposes: the first is to state what would need to be true to justify their existing intentions, and the second is to signal themselves to other members of their in-group so they can more easily join together to form a coherent political force.

This is why, when dealing with fascists, the only effective tactic is to raise the social cost of being fascist, so that they’re afraid to spread fascist propaganda openly. Sometimes this means violence, other times it just means denying them a platform to spread their ideas and recruit other fascists.

Because of this, when liberals defend the “free speech” of fascists, this effectively gives fascists a space to signal their intentions to other fascists, allowing them to group together and organize. Allow fascists to organize, and they’ll commit acts of terror against the most vulnerable populations.

You don’t even necessarily have to like it when antifa resort to black bloc tactics, but if you oppose antifa in general, you’re a stooge. The way you oppose fascists is by shutting them the fuck down, and if you’re against that, you’re doing nothing but aiding the enemy.

Portlanders who want to stand up against racism in a very direct fashion, look no further:

PDX - “Based Spartan,” “Based Stickman,” “Baked Alaska,” and a cadre of assorted white nationalist goons are flying in from all over the country on 6/4 to converge on Portland. Some of these folks call themselves ‘The Proud Boys’ and are completely dedicated to physically fighting for alt-right / white nationalist causes. If you’re unaware, there’s already a fairly large white supremacist presence in Portland, too. They’re all masquerading as “free speech” proponents and using Trump’s name as a not-that-far-from-the-truth shield.

Don’t know if any of y'all are familiar with what happened in Berkeley, but they’re trying to outdo themselves here in Portland.

If this event goes unchallenged, it normalizes and legitimizes white nationalist demonstration in a city, state, region of the country that is inherently and intentionally white supremacist.

I will remind you that the last rally organized by these SAME PEOPLE had yesterday’s murderer/terrorist in attendance. We need numbers. We need everyday people to stand up in opposition. Allowing this to go unchecked is exactly why people died yesterday

Imagine the Inner Circle’s children.

The little boy that has Rhysand’s face but Feyre’s personality. He’s always covered in paint for he paints things he loves: his family. Sure he’s strong, power coursing through him, but he’s more than that. He’s dedicated and full of the passion that rages inside of his parents. When he fell in love, it burned so fiercely that there were people who believed it would burn down the sorld

The girl they have sometime after that. She’s said to resemble her mother, due to her coloring, but hers is a face that resembles the aunt she never met: Rhys’ long dead sister. She masks herself with humor to hide that calculating mind. Only a fool would think her older brother is the automatic Night Court heir. They would never betray eachother, for they love eachother unconditionally and are best friends, but they are each aware that the day it’s time to ascend. It could be either of them.

And then the twins born many years later. The darlings of the Night Court. Even in the Hewn City, they are adored. The boy with his mother’s looks and the girl with Rhys’, only their eye colors being switched. They are strength, they are power, but most importantly they are good. It was their birth that began the patch up between the CoD and CoN.

Mor adopted her son after the birth of the first two heirs to the Night Court. She was determined to do it alone, though Azriel and Cassian eventually stepped in one night when the child recounted the horrors his family put him through. Mor cried all night, hugging the Autumn Court boy. He had lived in a harsh court, a court that brutalized her, and yet he was a survivor as well. Her son was fond of his friends, though none as much as the eldest daughter of Nesta and Cassian.

Nesta and Cassian’s daughter was an unstoppable force of nature. With her father’s golden brown skin, her mother’s cold blue eyes, and waist length dark hair, she was a beauty all would grow to worship. But it was not that that people feared her for. She changed the Illyrian ways, forcing the women to train. It was she that made them realize that they were worth more than being fucked and bearing children. She was a living legend. People came to preferring to deal with their High Lord and Cassian than with the daughter of the General.

It was Nesta and Cassian second daughter that pulled hearts. Her beauty was similar to that of her sister’s, but gentle. Her blue eyes lit up at romance, but she wasn’t weak. No, she burned. Burned so much that few could capture her heart. She wanted something all consuming, like the love surrounding the Inner Circle.

By contrast, Azriel’s son was quiet. He didn’t often speak his mind, but when he did, people stopped and listened. He was the carbon copy of his father in looks, though shadows didn’t clothe him. No, light did. His light drove away the shadows in his father’s heart and in the heart’s of others. His kindness burned bright and he was intolerant of people that showed anything but. When he found his mate, nothing stopped him. People still feared his father and the sight of Truth Teller, but they relaxed at the sight of him. What they didn’t know was that he could be worse than his father in terms of temper, but he didn’t let those bad days ruin the good ones.

We had a interim pastor, and her whole sermon was on Charlottesville. She went on about how painful this all is. How God is in the silence, not in the brutal violence. That we should pray for the victims. Then, all of a sudden, something sparked in her and she called out the congregation saying:

“We are almost all white here, and I know that we are guilty of being silent. Silent when we enslaved. Silent when we destroyed black neighborhoods. Silent when there is police brutality. Silent when our relatives and friends spout bigotry. We cannot be so self righteous. The truth is, we aren’t doing enough. God may love us, but we are not God’s people yet.”

I think I experienced the Holy Spirit through that woman. I need to do more.

I feel like this should be a thing.

star crossed rivals

this post is not only about princess allura and prince lotor being foils, but also keith and acxa being set up as rivals season 3

for related tweets, check out these threads !!   

Keep reading

To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.
—  Deepak Chopra

Distract me.. put a number in my ask

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?
3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
4: What’s something you really want right now?
5: Are you afraid of falling in love?
6: Do you like the beach?
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
8: What’s the background on your cell?
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?
10: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
11: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
12: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
13: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
14: Are you tired?
15: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
16: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?
17: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
18: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
19: Is there a certain quote you live by?
20: What’s on your mind?
21: Do you have any tattoos?
22: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
23: Who are you texting?
24: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
25: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
26: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
27: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
28: Were you single on Valentines Day?
29: Has anyone upset you in the last week?
30: Have you ever cried over a text?
31: Where’s your last bruise located?
32: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
33: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
34: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
35: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
36: Do you make supper for your family?
37: Does your bedroom have a door?
38: Does anything on your body hurt?
39: Are goodbyes hard for you?
40: How is your hair?
41: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
42: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
43: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
44: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
45: How old will you be in 5 months?
46: Where is your Mum right now?
47: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?
48: How many people have you liked in the past three months?
49: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?
50: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
51: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?
52: Who was your last received call from?
53: Have you ever trusted someone too much?
54: Do you get along with girls?
55: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?
56: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Neptune - place of your hidden potential


Neptune is a planet of illusion and confusion. It is very mysterious place in our chart. It brings people a lot of disappointment due to Neptune’s very enigmatic nature. I believe the house our Neptune is placed holds a great potential that is hidden there and takes time to fully understand. What makes you confused and vulnerable with a little bit of work can also be a source of your great strength. 

The House Neptune is shows when you are the most vulnerable. This is a place of confusion, place that you have always a problem to tell the reality from illusion. The way to master your Neptune placement is to recognize your weakness and allow yourself to be vulnerable in this area. Be aware of what brings you confusion. Awarness is your greatest weapon. This is what Neptune truly wants to tell you. Be aware.


1st House - be aware that your weakness lays in your perception of the world and yourself. You may feel lost in life, confused about how you see the world. You may not see it for what it is and people may see you not who you really are. Don’t idolize this world. Don’t idolize your views. Don’t let your artistic nature cloud your judgment. Also, don’t be afraid to be emotional. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitivity. Use amazing psychic gifts you have. Finding confidence in life may be hard for you since your perception of self is delluded but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You just have many sides to yourself and you can’t be defined with one word and that’s okay. Be a chameleon; don’t limit yourself to one. Also, your natural optimism can make you a little bit naive so you need to watch out for people because some of them will have no problem using your good heart against you so take care of yourself and trust your intuition more.

2nd House - be aware that your weakness lays in your self-worth. It is what brings you the biggest confusion. You may feel vague about your self-worth. You may feel confused about material things. You need to understand potential that lays in your soul and the practical use of your imagination. You also need to understand that material things are not the biggest evil on the world. They are also not your biggest need. It will always bring you confusion. Find balance!  Be aware of your money (abundance or their lack) in your life. Use them constructively on what you really need. If you can, make your art to give you profit.

3rd House - be aware that your weakness lays in the processing of your words. It can often feel like the words you are looking for in your mind are hidden behind a mist, like they are there but you can’t find them and use them. You can also feel at the moments that you are a better story-teller than everyone else in the room and desperately try to prove it. Don’t idolize the power of your mind but also don’t ignore it. Be aware that you can get an access to a beautiful inner encyclopedia but still you need to make an effort to check yourself while using it. Be aware of the voices you will hear, ideas you will get and be open to messages from your head but be selective of how you will use them. You can take people to other dimensions with your you words, you are highly creative but you must be aware that you need to check things twice before saying them because sometimes your words can be really confusing. Focus on making yourself more clear while speaking, avoid using unecessary words. 

4th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your roots. Family always can bring you a lot of confusion. Many times you don’t see your family for who they really are, you probably idolize them a lot just like your chilhood. You may feel truly lost at your core, not knowing who you are and being too dependent on your roots. Truth is, that yes,  you can become emotionally independent person who is also able to help others to see through their own delusions. You just need to make yourself your strong foundation and set clear boundaries with your family. Your imagination make them seem better that they really are. You need to remember that your home and people who make it are part of your life not the center. Family life will never be as perfect as you wish but it doesn’t mean it’s not going to be good. Appreciate what you can have.

5th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your vision.  You idolize everything. Romance, people, children, hobbies… Everywhere where you can express yourself and follow your vision of “something perfect”.  You just try to run from reality this way. Just be aware perfect love  or a child doesn’t exist. Express yourself artistically, yes, but don’t let your imagination cloud your judgment. Life here is not a Hollywood movie but it doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful. Use your imagination in your creations but don’t let it control your love life (and other aspects). You are extremely creative. Use it wisely.

6th House -  be aware that your weakness lays in working. You love to help others. Animals, people… Your service is needed but is also a place of your delusion. You may get lost in your job. You need to take responsibility and do your work in whatever you choose to but remember about taking care of yourself too. Also, you should pay more attention to deadlines. You can get lost so you need to remember about passing time and other details. You are really responsible and devoted, don’t overdo yourself but also try to look at yourself (especially your health) realistically. Getting a flu won’t kill you but don’t ignore it either. Keep yourself in check.

7th House -  be aware your weakness lays in your  relationships. Whether they are of romantic nature or platonic; you may appear as a very confusing person to others and others are like that to you too. You may have problem with recognizing people who have bad influnece on you, you may idolize them and you can be too dependent on others. There is always something very entangled in your partnerships and you need to recognize that and stop idolizing people in your life. You need to directly adress those issuses. There is a chance for you to see relationships with people clear, as they are. You will become more confident and more independent as a person. Just stay aware of your relationships and don’t let them define you.

8th House - your weakness is tied to taboo topics. You may become obsessed with sensitive topics like death and sex.  You may feel you lack understanding of those and  try obsessively to get information in those areas. You may feel confused and feel you are truly not living your life here on Earth because you may focus too much on matters connected to the other world. You need to be aware that  delving into dangerous matters with that kind of passion may not bring you what you want and just make you feel more lost in life. Use knowledge you gain in constructive way. Don’t hoard it, it can cause you more pain. Share it with others. Don’t idolize taboo. Focus on mundane things too. Come back from the dead, your world is here. 

9th House -  your weakness lays in your philosophy. You may feel confused about your beliefs and be easily influenced by others in this area. Whether you are more into spirituality or religion, any area involving higher realms seems to be bringing confusion to you. This also apply to higher education. You may have problem with finding out what you want to study and you can become perpetual student or reject idea of studying at all. You may have problem with describing your life philosophy and often change beliefs. You can become a fantastic teacher for yourself and others. You have great psychic abilities. Don’t let this confusion stop you from spiritual development. 

10th House - be aware that your weakness lays in your social position. You  feel confused about your position in the world you may feel lost on your life path and you may appear to others as this always indecisive person in those matters. Be aware that feeling of being lost in life happens to everyone. You need to remember about what you truly want to achieve and understand that it will take time. Don’t idolize achievement. Follow it but don’t forget about other important things in life. You will be at the top of a social ladder. You will inspire others to work hard for your goals. Just be aware that outer sucess is not the goal end in life.

11th House - your vulnerability lays in your sense of belonging. 
Confusion is tied to your need to be a part of a group. You may idolize them a lot. You may idolize society a lot and see no flaws in how it functions.  You may also do that to your friends. You need to stop looking at people through pink glasses. Remember that humanity is flawed. Be aware of that  being a human means making  mistakes. You can be a strong individual who can do a lot of good for people and society but you need to remember about the fact that society is built from individuals who just like you, are only humans. Allow them to be.

12th House - your weakness lays in your isolation. You may feel very helpess and confused, you may feel you are not safe in this world and you may try to delve into another to find your inner security. You isolate yourself from this world and it not only brings you more confusion but it is also a source of your pain. You can’t run from yourself. You are extremely gifted person. You have amazing ability to reach higher dimensions but you shouldn’t do that in order to avoid pain. Be aware of the mundane world and try to stay more connected with it. You won’t regret it. Our world is painful but you are a part of it. And people like you make it more beautiful.

In retrograde
- you may have a problem with accepting your vulnerability due to the aversion in immersing into the more spiritual side of yourself. You are a very private person and you dislike showing  vulnerability but it runs deep in you and you cannot reject this part of yourself.