“Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
“No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
“why is the fairy holding a gun.”
“Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
“How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
“Why are the roses green?”
“Great, you made death angry.”
“That better be a press on tattoo.”
“If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
“So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
“Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
“Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
“You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
“I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
“You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
“There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
“Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
“Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
“Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
“Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
“Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
“What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
“So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
“you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
“I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
“How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
“Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
“Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
“JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
“I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
“Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
“I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
“You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
“So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
“Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
“Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
“Hey at least I get laid doing it”
“While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
“Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
“That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
“What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
“I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
“Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
“I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
“How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
“Because I gave not, a single shit.”
“Is that a marijuana? In my good Christian suburbs?!”
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
“I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
“Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
“Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
“If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
“You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
“For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
“Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
“‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
“WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
“Can you believe it?” “Just barely.” "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
"What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
“Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!” “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
“You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
“Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
“Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
"So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
“Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
“What do you mean I’m half demon”
“why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
“Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
“So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
“How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
“Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
“Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
"Goddammit, why won’t you die?!” "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
"I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
“What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
"You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
"Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
“How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
“Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
“Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
“So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
“I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
*whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
“Now I know not to cry there”
“What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
“So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
“I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
“When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
“You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
“There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
“Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
“Zombies are people too, Mom!”
“… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
“Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
“ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
“Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”
Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?
Well-run libraries are filled with people because what a good library offers cannot be easily found elsewhere: an indoor public space in which you do not have to buy anything in order to stay. In the modern state there are very few sites where this is possible. The only others that come readily to my mind require belief in an omnipotent creator as a condition for membership. It would seem the most obvious thing in the world to say that the reason why the market is not an efficient solution to libraries is because the market has no use for a library. But it seems we need, right now, to keep re-stating the obvious. There aren’t many institutions left that fit so precisely Keynes’ definition of things that no one else but the state is willing to take on. Nor can the experience of library life be recreated online. It’s not just a matter of free books. A library is a different kind of social reality (of the three dimensional kind), which by its very existence teaches a system of values beyond the fiscal.
can we stop treating buying albums like a mandatory and a way to “proof” your love for your faves? some people like to buy digital versions or specific songs and others can’t afford albums or just DON’T.WANT.TO.BUY.THEM. gtfo of other people’s wallets and worry about yourself. you bought yourself an album with your own money? cool, now let people do what they want with their own money
What are some good tips for getting started with writing a book? I have a concept but i can't put it into place.
Getting Started with Your Story
There’s no one way to start writing a book. For some people, it’s enough to just jump in and start writing to see where the story takes them. If you’re not too keen on that idea, then here is oneprocess (as in, not theonlyprocess) that might help you move beyond your concept.
Concept ≠ Plot
Many writers mistake concept for plot, but they’re actually two very different things. A world where everyone grows up with superpowers is a concept; the plot is what you decide to write about within that concept - the specific characters and what happens to those characters; who your antagonist is and what conflict arises when that antagonist goes after what they want. All of these things contribute to your plot.
So first, define what it is you actually have at this particular point. Do you just have a concept? If so, you’ll need to take the necessary steps to develop that concept into a plot.
Concept >>> Plot
If you’ve decided that all you really have is a concept, then how do you take it and turn it into a plot? You brainstorm. All brainstorming really amounts to is expanding your ideas. All you’re doing is asking questions about the concept and delving deep into the answers.
The most simplistic way to start this process, especially if you’re struggling, is to ask one of two questions (or both, if applicable). These two questions: What could go wrong? What could go right?
Going back to my example about a world where everyone grows up with superpowers. If I were to ask the question “what could go wrong,” I’d end up with a whole list of possibilities.
The powers suddenly disappear
People start abusing their powers
Someone figures out how to steal powers
A hierarchy of strong vs. weak powers develops, creating superiority/inferiority dynamics
Someone is born without a superpower
There are many more possibilities I didn’t even think of here, but any one (or more) of these could become a plot. Choose one that sounds interesting, and then ask yourself “and then what?”
Say I choose: Someone figures out how to steal powers. Then what does that person do? Do they recruit people to do the dirty work for them? Do they work alone? Do they hoard these powers and barter them for other goods? Do they attempt to enslave people? Do they attempt to take control of institutions? What do they do?
Your goal is to take your ideas and turn them into actions taken by characters. People doing things. And each piece you add will usually lead into another. If you went with the idea that this character is stealing powers and essentially selling them for other goods, you’d have to ask yourself follow-up questions. First, who are they selling to? Why would anyone buy a new superpower if they already have one? What uses would they have for additional ones? What is the key demographic that this person is trying to reach? Secondly, what are they selling them in exchange for? Money? Favors? Souls? What is this character getting in return?
Now that you’ve examined potential actions that the character takes, you’ve also exposed potential new characters.
People they’re stealing from
People they’re bargaining with
People that try to police these crimes
People that try to copy this character’s process
At the beginning of this section, I talked about using “what could go right” as another optional jumping off point. This is a good path to follow if your concept is already really negative. For a concept where someone is killing people for some pointed reason, you might ask “what could go right” and explore ideas where the killer is caught and brought to justice.
The point of all this is to think about change as a means of taking your idea from concept to plot. A concept is static - it doesn’t move, evolve, or change. By developing a plot, you’re forcing the concept to be challenged in some way. If you think about it that way, you’ll be able to formulate conflicts, and the people that orchestrate and fight against those conflicts.
On that note, I think we’re ready to move onto the third piece of my graphic above.
Plot = Character Actions and Consequences
At this point, you have sketches for characters. You’ve got this nameless, faceless person that is stealing the powers, and all these other nameless, faceless people that I listed above. In essence, we have character concepts. And just like we turned our initial concept into a plot, we have to turn these character concepts into actual characters.
The basics are the easiest way to start. You figure out their name, their gender identity, their age, their appearance, some brief backstory and personality traits. I personally prefer the simplest questionnaire that I put together back in the early days because it hits on the poignant pieces of a character without overwhelming you with 100s of questions.
Now that you’ve given your character concepts names and faces and potential behaviors, you start to consider how one character’s view of the world inspires them to take certain actions, and you then think about how those actions affect your entire story.
We already kind of talked about the motives of the power thief in our example, but definitely delve deep here. On the surface, this character seems bad - stealing from people and then selling what they steal. But depending on what it is they’re getting in return, could we not argue that this character is a supernatural Robin Hood? Maybe instead of selling, they’re giving, and maybe the characters they’re stealing powers from are people that abuse and misuse their powers. Character motives can take a plot and turn it on its head, forcing you to reconceptualize everything. And that’s okay! That’s part of the process.
But separate from that idea, if we have a character concept of someone whose powers were stolen, and after developing their basic backstory, we discover that person’s name is Rose, and she has an especially close relationship with her brother. So when her powers are stolen, how does this affect her life? Was she using her powers to keep her brother alive and protected? What she using them to keep a roof over their heads? Was she using them as part of her job, as a means of providing? What happens to her life when her powers are stolen? And what will Rose do about it? Whatever Rose does will impact the story. If she does nothing to get her powers back, how does she solve her problems and does that make for a good story? If she does decide to act, then you’ve moved onto a new plot point to dive deeper into.
My point is, character concepts come from plots, but characters themselves often create plot, as their decisions and mistakes and successes create new outcomes. So if I could modify my original flow chart:
Before you develop something, you conceptualize it. You have a concept, then you make it a plot. You have concepts for characters, then you make them characters. And those characters end up driving your plot, to the point that this happens:
Plot inspires character. Character inspires plot. And it just keeps going around and around and around. Breaking it down into these pieces helps organize the process, but developing a story is rarely this neat and tidy. You’ll get ideas that don’t make sense, ideas that aren’t cohesive, characters you don’t need, characters that piss you off, problems you can’t solve, or plot points you’ve committed to that you no longer like…it will be messy. But it’s your mess, and the more you work on developing your own process, the more it’ll make sense to you. And it’ll become easier to know how to go about fixing it when something’s not right.
Have fun with this process! It’s supposed to be fun. When the pieces start to become clearer, you’re able to put them together in a rough outline. And once you have a rough outline, you can start writing, and really see it take shape.
If EBT could be used to buy anything, then what is the incentive to buy food with your own money? Why should the tax payers have to pay for welfare receivers to get luxury food???
Many people do not know this about me, but I have been on Snap benefits. I lost a job in 2009, shortly after the Great Recession, and I had nothing. I had to wait in lines at a food bank to get two small grocery bags of canned food, some toilet paper and a bar of soap a week and I applied for and received SNAP benefits.
Let me tell you, there was no luxurious eating. Unless, you think a diet of pasta, rice, beans, canned veggies, canned tuna, peanut butter and bread IS opulent. If you think going down to the Wonder Bread factory and buying their expired products is lavish, being on SNAP is the life for you.
But even if I did buy as much expensive food as I could, who cares what anyone else eats? It is a set amount of money each month. If someone wants to blow all $126 they get a month on one meal, who am I to say no. They are the ones that are going to have to figure out how to eat for the remaining 89 meals that month.
Should we require that “Welfare” Recipients eat garbage so that you can feel better than them?
On average they get about $1.40 a meal in SNAP benefits. Basically, we are requiring them to eat garbage, but still, that seems like too much for you.
This is absolutely ridiculous . Taylor is preventing her fans from being scammed again. This is a program that rewards fans for doing things they were already doing , but a scapler would have no interest in taking time to participate in.
So many fans got scammed during the 1989 tour, they were sold tickets by scaplers at high prices , and often these were tickets to seats that didn’t even exist. Many people were turned away. Taylor’s doing something so this doesn’t happen again.
This is a system that is entirely voluntary. It caters to the things that fans were already doing , they’re just being rewarded now , by not being scammed or Scapled. Fans are going to buy merch and pre order albums anyway , we always do. We do this every era without any incentive. Why do you think Taylor has had 3 albums sell a million copies in the first week? - because we buy albums. She knows this.
Yes , there were some concerns from fans initially , mainly the fact that this system seemed to favor Rich fans, but those concerns were quickly resolved after taking it to tumblr with Taylor. she quickly made changes to the platform To make things more ( free) activities based. Videos are no longer low boost with a maximum of 5 views per day. Videos are now Medium boost and you can watch each video 20 times a day , and each view is a medium boost.
Pretty much all the free activities are Medium boosts now. The only free activities that are still low boosts , are friend referrals and visiting the site everyday. You can easily get high priority just from watching videos.
All she’s doing is basically giving us a code for tickets , so we can bypass scaplers and bots this era
Inside an album she already knew we wanted and would buy , and she’s also putting those codes in free videos too.
You really don’t have to buy anything , my pre order hasn’t even been in the system long enough to register that I have purchased anything , but I’m already in priority just from watching videos!
Since when is not wanting your fans to be scammed “ fan exploitation” ? I don’t feel exploited one bit, in fact I actually feel relief.
As someone who’s waited by my computer all day, intending to buy tickets , only to have a bot buy my ticket, and then not being able to go to the concert because the only seats left were from scaplers charging 6X the original price -I like this system.
LIBRA: Occasionally you have to fake it until you make it. I know that this is a cliche you’ve heard many times before, but have you ever actually tried it? Cliches don’t become ‘cliche’ unless a lot of people believe in what they’re implying. Feel free to test this, even if it’s just for a day or two. Pretend that you’re in the right career, pretend that you haven’t been sad at all for the last few weeks, pretend that you’re powerful and comfortable and know exactly who you are. Sometimes a little confidence, even if it begins as a front, is the final piece to the puzzle.
SCORPIO: You’ve had chains wrapped around your ankles for so long now that you hardly ever notice their weight anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful that you’ve found a way to cope with the things that try to drag you down. But it seems like you’ve become so complacent in this state of being that you’ve given up on escape. Like you’re an audience member to your own existence. But you aren’t, even though life comes at you so viciously sometimes. You are in charge of your body, and in charge of what you do with it. Now use it.
SAGITTARIUS: There’s always something about the early days of autumn that make you feel as though anything is possible, and this year you should take advantage of that. Now is not the time to play it safe or rein in your grand ideas: now is the time to give them life. You’ve become an expert at putting things on hold for circumstances that are outside of your control and putting an end to that is overdue. The world isn’t always going to give you a green light to move on, sometimes you have to build it yourself. Sometimes you just have to go for it.
CAPRICORN: The world is already cruel enough without adding your own self-doubt into the mix. I think it’s time that you start being kinder to yourself. You’ve been through so much, after all; nobody is expecting you to be perfect or be immune to making mistakes. Take some time to reward yourself for the positive things you’ve accomplished. Buy that coffee, watch that movie, put your feet up and relax. You are so good at making the people around you feel content, apply that talent to your own life.
AQUARIUS: There’s been so much in front of you lately, both positive and negative, that you’ve been letting everything behind you fade into the background. And while moving forward is necessary in order to survive, the things you’ve already experienced are learned lessons that you shouldn’t forget so easily. Do you remember the last thing you cried over? Do you remember why it made you so sad? Now, put that feeling in a bubble and don’t let yourself make the same choices that led you to that feeling. Your past matters, but it will never own you. There’s a difference.
PISCES: Life can be pretty overwhelming sometimes, can’t it? You aren’t overreacting if lately you’ve felt as though the planet has been taking a toll on you. Just remember, it’s good that you’re busy and that you’re involved with what’s going on around you. There was a time when a past version of yourself wouldn’t have dared to lay their heart out as boldly as you do now, and your progress is cause for celebration. Take everything one day at a time, if it’s getting to be too much. Breathe. Take breaks when needed. Persevere.
ARIES: Everything in your life feels like a big quilt of sorts, every event and person and memory connected to another by a few threads and some time. Lately you’ve found yourself wondering about what the significance of all of that is. But maybe the meaning isn’t within the connections themselves, but in the person that’s tied them all together. You have created a vast network of friends and feelings and you’ve brought positivity and good vibes to every link in this chain of relationships. These interconnected moments all call your heart home. Embrace their warmth.
TAURUS: So, you’re still attached to a lot of things that you thought you’d be disconnected from by now. There are still regrets and past lovers and half finished letters stuffed underneath your mattress and you’ve accepted that this is how it is. You’ve grown resigned to the fact that some things are impossible to move on from. But I’m here to tell you that nothing can keep you in its grasp unless part of you is letting it. If you own a pair of scissors, why aren’t you using them to cut the strings that are tied around you? What possible reason is there to keep suffering?
GEMINI: It’s easy to look in a mirror and point out the parts of yourself that make building relationships difficult. You find yourself constantly having to relearn how to touch people without hurting them or yourself in the process. It isn’t your fault that you’ve tried to give affection to people that are unworthy of it, it’s their fault for fooling you into thinking they deserved what you were providing. Just because this hasn’t been working out for you lately, doesn’t mean that it won’t ever. You are lovable even when nobody is loving you.
CANCER: Enjoying your accomplishments without thinking about the people that should be there celebrating with you is something that you still struggle with from time to time. It’s okay to be sad that there are certain moments you’ll never be able to share with those that would’ve understood your happiness; it isn’t fair that you’ve had to mourn so many missed opportunities. But don’t let what’s absent diminish your successes or make you feel as though you aren’t allowed to be proud of yourself. You’re thriving despite all of that negative space and it’s beautiful.
LEO: Nothing comes as a surprise to you anymore, but despite that you still find yourself stuck with unrealistic expectations at the end of the day. Either you know that you deserve better and you don’t want to admit it, or you’ve become so comfortable with being disappointed that you’re scared of being anything but. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. Maybe you know what you want and you know that you shouldn’t want it so you’re self-sabotaging any chance you’re given at obtaining happiness. I think that something inside of you knows the answers to these maybe’s. Let it out.
VIRGO: Self-preservation is an art form you’ve become incredibly dedicated to depicting. If your heart were a gallery, there’d be sculptures of brick walls lurking around every corner and self portraits donned with armor cluttering up the walls. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, in fact I would encourage you to always do so. But be careful; there’s a fine line between prioritizing yourself over others and knowingly hurting others in the quest to better yourself. You have to find a balance between the two.
If you are young and lost - things I’ve learned so far in college:
1. Do not go looking for validation of your beauty or self-worth from a boy. If you do not already believe in your own worthiness, it can only be dangerous to try to find it from someone else.
2. No one is going to look at you and see all the flaws that are constantly running through your head.
3. Don’t ever regret trying. For once, don’t be the fearful one. Someone needs to be the fearless one. Let it be you.
4. Always be as confident as you are on your good days.
5. Remind yourself that you do have good days. When a good day happens, be grateful and don’t forget it.
6. Forming relationships with people will help you grow and learn. No matter what kind of relationships or how they come to be or end.
7. You are better than you used to be, and you should be proud of yourself.
8. Talking about it with a friend will make you feel better.
9. You are important. You can’t let yourself forget that. You’ve suffered for too long doubting that you were important.
10. There are things that make you love life. When the weather is nice, when someone tells you that you are good at something, when you choose to socialize, when you get a good grade, when you try a new food, when you discover a new song.
11. Compliment people. It will make them happy, and it will also make you happy.
12. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their insecurities. Fake it till you make it. Fake that you have confidence until you actually do have confidence.
13. Don’t be disappointed if someone doesn’t like you like you were hoping. There are/will be people who do like you a tremendous amount.
14. Don’t be so focused on appearances, but do have the confidence that you are not ugly.
15. There’s no point in comparing yourself to another girl, especially if you don’t know her.
16. Don’t take your friends for granted.
17. Don’t regret staying up late with friends, even if you have school or work the next morning. These nights make college memorable.
18. The less you eat processed foods, the happier you will be. Buy natural foods and cook them yourself.
19. There are people who love you, so why is it that hard for you to love yourself?
20. Always make eye contact and watch your body language.
21. Picking at your skin when you’re stressed about something else is a stress reliever at the moment but you will ALWAYS regret it right after.
22. Don’t let other people ruin your favorite songs.
23. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying meaningless sex. But be prepared for the nights you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and wondering if you don’t deserve more.
24. Sometimes in life you have to hurt someone. But always put yourself first above any boy.
“Are you poisonous?” “Can I try to pick you up?” “How is your hair so soft?” “Why don’t you get pruney?” “Can you be eaten like sashimi?” “Have you ever fought off a shark?” “You’re even prettier than legends say.” “You speak our language surprisingly well.” “I thought mermaids were supposed to be pretty.” “Here, taste this. It’s a human drink called alcohol.” “Is it true that you can erase memories with a kiss?” “Wait! Please don’t leave! I’m not going to hurt you!” “If I fall in love with you, does that mean I’m into zoophilia?” “If you could get rid of your tail for legs and feet, would you?” “So, like… were you hatched from an egg? Or born like a shark?” “Should I build a house on the beach so we can always be together?”
“Do I scare you?” “Your bathtub is too small…” “Go ahead. You can touch me.” “You have to stop coming here.” “People are coming. I have to go.” “Can you take me back to the ocean?” “Why is there an eel between your legs?” “Why is there a clam between your legs?” “My scales are sharp. Please don’t touch them.” “Did you really go out and buy me a kiddy pool to lay in?” “I’m not just a fish. Stop treating me like I’m beneath you.” “I’m getting dehydrated. Can you spray me with the hose?” “Can you stop staring at me? You’re making me uncomfortable.” “I cant live on land, and you cant live in the water. We cant be together.” “If I leave the ocean for you, and you fall out of love with me, I’ll die. You have to know this.” “That’s not a pool. That’s a deep hole with muddy water. You cant expect me to swim in that.”
Is involved in so many fucking sports it’s insane.
Is on the basketball, baseball, and football teams, plus he dabbles in lacrosse
Is in about ten different clubs including the environmental club, animal rights activists, the culture club, cooking club, and the sports club.
Has also won class rep every year he’s been in high school because he’s so fucking popular
Works at an animal shelter
All the teachers love him
All the students love him
Still manages to be an awesome friend to the entire loser’s club
Gives lots of activism speeches
Will take in your pets
Does a lot of babysitting
Can recite literally the entire town’s history
Will name random historical facts out of nowhere
Is the librarian’s favorite person in the world
Can tell you where any book in the library is
Volunteers for wayyy too many things, including the library
Somehow always finds time to hang out with the Losers
Has taught all of the Loser’s how to cook with varying degrees of success (because of Richie)
Is president of the women’s club and equal rights club
Is confident and proud of being a “Loser”, even though technically she’s so well liked that no body calls her that anymore
Strong and independently awesome
Has a column in the school paper for fashion advice
Will fucking destroy someone who bullies someone else (as the three idiots, who thought picking a fight with Eddie right in front of her was a good idea, soon found out)
Does the costume designs for every school play and is absolutely amazing at it
Works at a pizza parlor that all the Loser’s hang out at
Kicks Richie out of the pizza parlor at least once a week
Will totally talk to you about anything
Will never judge you
Started dating Ben in sophomore year after Bill and her decided they were better off as friends
Totally loves Beverly and treats her like a queen
Slimmed down a bit, but still acts the same
Is the president of both the poetry club and the pottery club- the latter he singed up on accident for (thinking it was the poetry club at first glance).
Ben is so kind and nice that even though he can’t do pottery for shit he always helps everyone else in the club, so they all unanimously decided he should be the president
His mother is an absolute sweet heart that treats the Loser’s like her babies
Always gets conned into giving Richie money that he knows he’ll never get back
Coined the term “Once a Loser, Always a Lover”
Will stay up all night helping others do homework
Will bring cakes for literally every event
Is somehow the world’s best speller
Will edit English essays for free
Knows the lyrics to literally every pop song
Is in choir
Is still a germaphobe
Is the biology/health teacher’s favorite student and can often be found giving the younger kids tutorials
Swears he was conned into dating Richie and the only reason they haven’t broken up is because of the discount he gets at the ice cream place Richie works at (even though all of the Losers have walked in on them making out happily)
Always has the word Lo(s)ver written on his arm because Richie can’t resist
Is still bullied a bit but gives exactly zero shits because, dammit, he faced everyone’s worse fucking nightmare- a stupid bully is nothing
Will cry at sad movies
Has a small section in the paper called “Eddie’s Health Tip of the Day”
Somehow became the lunch ladies best friend, debatably because he always keeps the Loser’s table clean
Is secretly (not secretly at all) in love with Richie Tozier
It goes without saying that he’s the class clown
Has orchestrated the last three senior class pranks even though he wasn’t a senior
Will fight anyone who even looks at Eddie the wrong way
Life’s goal is to make his rude math teacher’s life a living hell
Calls anyone who pulls off a good prank his rival
Swears that he will pay Ben back and also didn’t con Eddie into dating him
Works at an ice cream parlor
Will do literally /any/ dare
Is at every single party, no matter what
Will DJ your party, even if you don’t ask for it
Once managed to play in an entire game of football without that coach realizing he wasn’t on the team
MC’s both the school announcements and the football games
Sometimes shows up to Stan’s clubs just to make fun of him
Is really fucking lucky that Stan hasn’t beat him up yet
Is really fucking lucky that /no one/ has beat him up yet
Is president of the Bird Watchers club and vice of the Chess club
Is involved in the Jewish club, even though he’s not very religious
Is treasurer of Student Council
Is not amused by Richie’s “Jews are good with money!” jokes
Has been in love with Bill Fucking Denbrough since eighth grade
Will threaten to slap Richie at least once a day
Is also involved with the environmental club
Will do all of your math homework if you ask nicely enough
Usually buys all of the stuff for the Loser’s
Is pretty much the closest thing the Loser’s have to both a conscience and a moral compass
Will give the absolute dirtiest looks to people who are mean
Can silence anyone with a look
Is relatively quiet in class, but when he does answer a question it usually leaves the class speechless
Has a column in the school newspaper simply titled Ask Stan where he gives people logical advice about life (it’s surprisingly popular)
Is popular but unlike Mike, no one can figure out why; some people say it’s because he plays basketball, some say it’s because he grew up to be rather handsome and very kind, and some say it’s because he goes to a support group for people who have lost loved ones and he befriended one of the most popular girls at school who lost her father
But others would swear on their mother’s graves that it’s because one time during lunch Bill slipped on a strawberry, tried to catch himself on a table, and ended up accidently doing a flip over it in front of the whole school to the applause of everyone when he landed it
Can often be caught daydreaming about Stanley Uris in history class
Has drawn portraits of every Loser that have won prizes (although he’s drawn more of Stan than everyone else)
Is so fucking oblivious to his own feelings that the Loser’s (besides Stan, for obvious reasons) had to give him an intervention after his history grades started slipping
Heads and writes for the school newspaper and always slips in little poems Ben writes plus short stories he writes plus everything else the Loser’s want in it
Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send 👍and my Muse will say one to you!
“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.” “Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.” “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’” “Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!” “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!” “Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.” “I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.” “How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.” “Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.” “'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!” “I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!” “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.” “How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.” “Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.” “I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.” “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.” “How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.” “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” “Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.” “Don’t call me later, call me Dad.” “What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant” “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.” “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.” “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.” “What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.” “I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.” “The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.” “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.” “5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.” “Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“ "What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.” “What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.” “I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.” “To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.” “The rotation of earth really makes my day.” “I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.” “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.” “I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!” “Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.” “Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.” “A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.” “I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.” “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.” “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.” “People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”
I don’t wanna say “fuck customers”, because I understand why people do the thing I’m complaining about… but really, it’s annoying to see people purposely misplace “gendered” items, ie boys clothes hanging up in front of the girls clothes.
So, I get the message. People want boys’ science-y shirts (or sport themed, etc) for girls, vice verse. Personally I don’t have a problem with that. If I see a boys’ shirt that doesn’t have something similar for girls, I just buy the boys’ shirt for my daughter. My issue is what I feel is ignorance towards the employees you’re creating more, and mostly unnecessary, work for.
These people think they’re sending a message straight to corporate. Managers, and their bosses above them, aren’t gonna get this message. The message they’ll get is that their employees “aren’t doing their jobs.” This could result in negative consequences (harsh store meetings, hours cut, raises withheld, etc) for employees, because hey that’s retail.
The most effective thing you could do is contact corporate directly. Post on their social media, visit their website and click on that “Contact Us” link. I feel these aforementioned techniques work because a lot of stores will listen and work toward catering to this clientele (like Bullseye removing gender signs for their toy section, the Place for Children playing up the brains instead of beauty message for girls, etc).
Don’t be the type of person who misplaces stuff on purpose because you think you’re sending a message. 😓 I get what you’re trying to do, but it affects sales associates - not corporate.
destiel, 3k, jealous!cas, light dean/lisa, pining and angst with a happy resolution
Castiel is about to
fit his key into his apartment door when he hears the voices: Dean’s gruff baritone mixed with a lilting melodic voice.
Castiel rests his
forehead against the door, shopping bags in his hands lightly hitting the pale
wood. He squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself not to be upset that it’s the
sixth day of the week that Lisa has been at their apartment.
He tries not to be
bothered that for the last month Dean has been utterly obsessed with this girl:
from late night phone calls to taking her to romantic dinners softened by
Cas tries to ignore the fact that he’s inexplicably jealous of Lisa.
We love to think that we’re a rough and ready race (Hence the space-orcs name). The truth is, we’re big softies. Our environment is so incredibly kind to us, that we’re literally soft!
We have no innate armour, little in the way of weaponry, and spend 1/3 of our time borderline unconscious, because we can.For most aliens, sleep simply doesn’t happen. You live, you fight, you die. This can lead to some awkward office conversations:Vultaire (Alien exchange student): Time to clock off for the day. What are you doing after class? Charles (Human doctoral student): I’ve been crashing on my lab-partner’s couch whilst my home’s been renovated after The Accident™. It’s ready to live in again, so I’m off to buy a new bed this evening! Vultaire: Crashing? I didn’t realise you were cybernetic. Let me recommend my debugger to you, he’s very good! Charles: No cybernetics here, I just mean sleep. I forget that you’re still learning the language. Here, let me show you what I’m getting. *Proceeds to show Vultaire pictures of luscious beds draped in colourful fabrics and peaceful people*
Vultaire: You’re…. dying?
Charles: No?! Why would you think that?
Vultaire: But those are funeral processions, I’ve seen them before. Why would you do that if you’re not dying?
Charles: *Laughing* Not funeral processions, but it’s pretty funny when you say it that way. It’s just for sleeping, resting, recuperating energy through the night. What do you do when you’re not here?
Vultaire: Go home and keep working. We don’t do this.. sleep thing *Scribbles in behavioural notebook*
Charles: Have you ever considered following the doctoral program? You’d be perfect for it…
“Cas, I just - I don’t think we can do this,” Dean says.
And Cas, sitting beside him in shotgun, tastes loss in his mouth. He stares straight ahead.
He’s been waiting for this, if he’s honest with himself. It was too good to be true. He and Dean have been - things have been different between them, recently. They’ve been saying more, showing more. It’s been filling a part of Cas that he hadn’t even understood was aching and empty, until suddenly it wasn’t.
“It’s - you know, we got jobs to do,” Dean says. Outside, the night rolls past. They’re driving home to the bunker, shopping bags in the back. The trip was domestic, even sweet; but at the check-outs, Cas saw Dean’s face. He’d known that something was shifting. He’d known that there was trouble to come.
“Jobs?” he manages.
“Yeah, Cas, jobs. We got the world to save. Half the time we’re throwing ourselves under the bus so it won’t drive off the cliff, and that’s good, because the bus won’t crash, but…” He pauses; Cas says nothing. “But - God, Cas, it’s so much harder to throw yourself under the bus when you got someone out there who makes you think you shouldn’t have to.”
TO EVERYONE WHO GAVE THIS BOOK ONE STAR WITHOUT READING IT:
First off, know that I am not going away. I am going to stand here and scream this from the rooftops as many times as I have to. Because I am tired of my voice and my story being drowned out. This book tells my story. If I get even one person to at least consider they might be wrong, if even one person buys this book because of me, then I’ve made a difference.
I respect your opinion and based off of the original synopsis I completely understand why you felt that way - indeed I agree with you. I understand why the initial synopsis made you angry, really I do. The b.s. trope that lesbians (or any LGBT+ girl) can be ‘cured’ by finding the right boy is not just offensive and incorrect, but incredibly, incredibly harmful. And when it’s used as much as it is, it leads to people in the real world justifying their homophobic thoughts with - “I can f**k that girl, she’s secretly straight anyway. I can make her change her mind. She just needs the right guy.” Corrective rape is a very real danger and one that is directly impacted by words like those in that synopsis.
But this isn’t what the book is about. When the author, Julie Murphy @andimjulie, was informed of how offensive and harmful the synopsis/blurb was she started arranging to have it changed. Because here’s the thing: authors don’t get to write those. Some random person at the publishing house does. It’s that random person that made the harmful words and who misunderstood the book.
The new synopsis is up on this goodreads page now . Please read it and maybe consider changing or removing your rating?
Because this book isn’t about 'lesbians can be cured.’ This book is about bisexual girls, girls just like me, who grow up not knowing that they are bi. Believing that because they like girls they must therefore be lesbians or because they like boys they must therefore be straight. I’m the latter; in this heteronormative world I spent years believing I was straight before I realised.
This book is for all the girls like me who think they fit into one box because they like someone and then one day, realise they have feelings for a different gender. It is about how confusing and scary and downright terrifying that is. It is about lying awake all night thinking “but does liking this boy mean i was straight all along?” “do i actually like him or is it because i’m supposed to?” it’s about worrying that you can’t change your identity because people already know you as a 'lesbian.’ Worrying that you’re just attention seeking or greedy or unable to make up your mind, that you’re on the fence and you need to choose.
This book is about the moment of relief when you finally find the name that suits you - bisexual. Or, perhaps when you decide that it’s okay to not know for sure right now. And how much weight is taken off you once you know who you are, and you have an identity.
I haven’t read the book yet but the new revised synopsis reflects that the book will actually be about those topics. You’re punishing the author for what someone else misunderstood and wrote as a harmful piece of promotion. Notice how different (and not harmful) the synopsis is now that it’s been written with the author’s suggestions instead of just by some dude? That to me suggests that the book itself, written entirely by her, will be much more like the new synopsis than the old one.
Oh, and you will also notice that I mentioned I haven’t read the book yet. So how then, you wonder, am I able to sit here and say that the book will be about all of the things above?
Because I am that girl. I went through all of those things. Mine was vice versa to Ramona - I believed that I had to be straight because I liked boys and if you like boys that’s all you can be right? Wrong. It was so, so hard for me to figure out who I am, where my place in this world is. It took me four years to get where I am (I’m 18 now). And I still haven’t finished this journey - my parents don’t know. I know, from reading this new synopsis, that that is what this book is about because I have lived it. I know because the author is bisexual, married to a man - she has lived it too.
Tumblr I just don’t get it. We cry and cry for more representation but when you have it you destroy it’s chances with negative reviews before it’s even begun. All because it’s the “wrong sort” of representation. You don’t want this bi girls story, my true story, because it shows that sometimes girls who like girls also like boys. Not always but sometimes. And sometimes we end up with those boys.
Please, buy this book. Promote this book, please at least undo this low rating until you have read it. This book could have saved me so much heartache when I was fourteen. It could have let me know that I was not alone. It could have saved me six months of self-harm, an emotionally abusive relationship, bullying for being 'frigid.’
I didn’t have this book when I was facing all those things. But the next bi or pan girl could. We could save them.
Representation is important. Lesbian representation and positive, good representation at that, is important. But so is bi girl representation. And this book just happens to be one for the bi girls. This doesn’t have to be either or, bi girls existing doesn’t mean that lesbians do not. Please, let’s not harm each other’s chance at representation. Let’s support each other.
Please, at least let’s read this book before we give it a rating. Please help the next girl like me before she is hurt.