people being themselves

if you’ve never been to pride before, this pride season i want to encourage you to give it a chance if you can and not be deterred by whatever scary things you may have heard on the internet. for example, i’m bi and i’ve been to dozens of prides, in big cities and small towns, and have never once had anyone demand to know my identity or suggest that i shouldn’t be there. god knows pride celebrations have their share of problems, but being out in public surrounded by other lgbt people having fun and being themselves is an incredible thing that you deserve to experience for yourself before you decide it’s too good to be true.

what i love most about the addams family is how, when it comes to what everyone else thinks of them, they clearly have no fucks to give

gomez wants to play with toy trains and likes to stay home and be a hands-on parent with his kids, and that’s fine. morticia likes playing with crossbows and swords and being open with her sexuality and is totally confident in her own skin, and that’s fine. wednesday wants to grow up to entrance men with her womanly charms and dance naked in the town square, and her parents are like, “cool. just go to college and get an education first.” even when their son briefly seems to be “normal,” gomez and morticia are confused and don’t quite know how to handle it, but they adjust and try to encourage his interests and still treat him as well as they do their other children.

they’re just totally fine with going against societal norms and breaking traditional family roles, and it never even occurs to them to care what other people think. they’re happy being themselves and that’s what counts. and they never directly judge anyone else for being themselves either. they’re always friendly to their neighbors and are totally accepting towards a “normal” woman that cousin itt marries, treating her like a part of the family right away.

basically i strive to be as content with myself as the addams family is.

What kind of friend are you?

Our 11th house rules friends, groups and communities. Planets and signs there show how you are in front of your friends and in a group. It also show the kind of friends do you feel attracted to!

Originally posted by slightdownpour

Keep in mind that all this interpretations could change depending the planets’ aspects, asteroids and, basically, the whole chart.

♈Aries in the 11th house is that friend that insults you but actually loves you . People with this placement want to look rough and hard to get, but they’re babies. They’re the ride or die friends™. Also this people seem to get angry or be angry 24/7 with you but forget about it like 5 minutes later. They’re fierce as fuck so don’t fuck with their friends. These people seek reckless friends, the ones that will understand them.

♉Taurus in the 11th house is that kind of friend who smells and dress well. They’re chill and like to hang out in. You know they love you when they lend you money or share with you some of their things (i.e food, old pictures, clothes, etc). Keep the same friends and enemies from 2nd grade. They’re the ultimate loyal friend™ and the one that still keep their stuffed animals™. These people seek calm friends who will stay and won’t make their life a chaos.

♊Gemini in the 11th house is that friend that somehow knows all about everyone or everything. You just can ask them whatever cross your mind, and they will tell you random facts about it (or they’ll investigate it!). Gossip queen/king™, they’ll use what they know in order to defend their friends. They also can be the smartass friend™ , always with something new to talk about. These people seek for someone who listen to them and help them to grow intelectually.

♋Cancer in the 11th house is the kind of people who find themselves being the mom friend™, they don’t have enough authority for being a leader, but they’ve enough presence to make people vent all their secrets. They’re blind when it comes to loved ones, they will defend them no matter what. Also this people is the kind that keep friends from childhood and make scrapbooks of your friendship. These people seek sensitive people and ,unconsciously, friends that will let them show their natural nurture skills.

♌Leo in the 11th house is the kind of friend who’s overprotective and jealous over their loved ones. People with this placements could be leaders or want to be one. If not, they could be the artsy friend™. They like to do your makeup and gossip with you. They’re one of the most loyal friends you can get, but don’t fuck with them. As long as they’re your friend, your enemies are their enemies. See you cry makes them cry. Tend to talk over you, then apologize about it, and do it again. Also they like presents and cheesy letters, probably a lot of kissing and hugs. These people seek devoted and optimistic friends.

♍Virgo in the 11th house is the friend who’s always by your side. They won’t left you and, plus, they’ll advise you about everything, and probably critizes you for your own good. They’re the ones that correct your grammar and actually make sure you have eaten and sleep well. They’re that perfectionist friend™, probably the best at something. Also they’re the concerned friend™, a kind of overanxious  mom. These people seek intelligent and calm people who will help them as much as they help other people.

♎Libra in the 11th house, like Gemini, likes to talk and gossip about other people’s taste. They think they have a better taste than the rest of the people (and they actually have it) and will be your shop buddy™. People with this placement tend to be popular or well-liked by most people they meet. Like Leo, they’re your artsy friend™. In fact, these people loves to talk about art and have their exclusve group of friends. They apprecite harmony in their relationships. These people seek for comforting relationships and constant mental stimulation.

♏Scorpio in the 11th house like Gemini, they seem to know everything about everyone. If you ask this people about other person, they’ll tell you a biography (if they trust you, of course). This people keep secrets from everyone. They’re hard to get and if you finally get their trust, never, NEVER, fail them. After all, they know everything about you, too. On the good side, they give the best gifts. These people seek true friends, who won’t press them or make them feel vulnerable.

♐Sagittarius in the 11th house is the argumentative friend that atually doesn’t take nothing seriously but his/her opinions. They could rant of politics and animal rights for hours, and tend to stick their foot in their mouth when trying to tell you that you mean a lot to them. They’re your travel friends™ and the wannabe philosopher friend™. These people might be talking about their neighbour’s dogs and then they tell you they’ve an Internet friend from Perú called Carlos. These people seek road trip pals and adventures.

♑Capricorn in the 11th house These people, like Cancer in the 11th, tend to keep friends from their childhood. They’re the ones that help you with school and let you copy their homework. They like to talk about books that you both have read. They’re the friends that introduces you to job interviews and help you to get them. For them, time is what makes a friendship worthy. These people seek down-to-earth friends.

♒Aquarius in the 11th house is the kind of friend that introduces you to new music and experiences. They treat everyone as their friend, but inside you, you know you’re one of their few friends. But believe me, steal one of their ideas and they’ll forget about you. They may seem cold, but they’re just thinking about other things. They find themselves original and interesting, so they tend to be the snob friend™ or actually the weird friend™. These people seek unusual people and those who seem interested in change.

♓Pisces in the 11th house is the kind of friend that has his/her head in the clouds. These people like to help their friends and they will try to advise them wherever when needed (and when not lol). Therefore, they’re the counselor friend™ or the emo one. They’re very creative (I wouldn’t be surprise if they had drawn you in their sketchbook at least once) and half of the time they’re not listening to you, but they’re not trying to be rude. In fact, they may remember all their friends’ birthdays but not what they have said 10 minutes ago. These people seek for friends as sensitive and helpful as they are!


☉ Sun in the 11th house is the kind of people whose main focus is on their social life. These people tend to be natural leaders and are very popular. They seem to only care about their reputation and their ideals, which is mostly true (of course, you have to see the rest of the chart and the Sun’s aspects). Their friends shape their identity the most. For this people, you are who you’re friends with.

☽ Moon in the 11th house is the kind of people that feel easily attacked if they find someone gossiping abourt their friends. These people have a rough time separating their emotions from their friends’ actions or emotions. They’re easily hurt by them and tend to be overdramatizers. Their emotions could be aligned with a group’s emotion (for example, if your classmates are all angry at a teacher, these people may get angry with that teacher too, not because they have a reason to get angry, but they feel the atmosphere and imitates it unconsciously).

☿ Mercury in the 11th house is the kind of people that is constantly airing their opinions and knowledge. They seem to know everything, or at least they’ll act like it. They update their friends with all the news and gossips, and pretend the same from them. They’re the brain of the group.

♀ Venus in the 11th house is the kind of people that need peace in their group of friends and try to get along with everyone. These people may feel really stressed out if there’s problems in their main group. They have a way with words and know how to talk to each person. They might become known for their relatiosnhips.

♂ Mars in the 11th house is the kind of people that seem to be angry with everyone. They have troubles making enduring relationships and tends to have a lot of frenemie relationships. On the other hand, they can focus all their energy on defending their friends and fight anyone who threatens them and their friendship.

♃ Jupiter in the 11th house is the kind of people who weirdly get along with EVERYONE and seem to have friends around the world. They expand themselves through friendships and new people. However, they can become inconsiderate of that that are less socially savy (i.e that obnoxious kid that is constantly telling you to dance in a party).

♄ Saturn in the 11th house is the kind of people that keep friends forever but have a hard time getting friends at first. They get disappointed when their need of stability isn’t fullfil by their friends. Can be very critical over people and, therefore, damaging their relationship. Anyway, they want the best for their friends and when they find the right people, they’ll be the most loyal friends ever.

♅ Uranus in the 11th house is the kind of people that constantly change friends in order to get new experience. They like people who have something new to offer and have strange interests. However, they may reject people that don’t share the same moral values and politic view as them. They might reject urban tribes and may want to start their own club/group.

♆ Neptune in the 11th house is the kind of people who put their friends at the top. Their friends are not bad, they’re not hurting them. They’re perfect and, of course, better than the person with this placements. People tend to reflect themselves in this person, put on them high expectatives and and mispercieve them. People with this placements tend to have struggles with letting people walk over them. However, they’re very comforting and intuitive.

♇ Pluto in the 11th house is the kind of people that, like Uranus, constantly change friends. They may have trust issues and, therefore, have a hard time forming durable bonds and getting along with groups. When they finally trust the other person, the bonds are intensily strong.

Thanks to @phantasticforfob for helping me writing this shit. 

imo a lot of grantaire mischaracterization comes from a simple misunderstanding that grantaire is an extrovert, not an introvert
he says he hates people, but he is needy for people 24/7

hugo says he knows every bar and place to eat
grantaire could take over all of guy fieri’s TV shows

his self care isn’t staying home, he doesn’t have a sense of self care, find him absolutely shitfaced at that one hole in the wall that’s open past midnight, shoving cake into his mouth and looking for company

unpopular opinion but people who talk @ vegans completely unprompted about how clearly inferior their diets are / how much they’re missing / how much they themselves like meat even tho no one asked are 130% as annoying as vegans who tell everyone that they’re vegan at every possible opportunity

Today marks the one year anniversary of the Orlando Florida nightclub Pulse shooting, where 49 people were killed for being themselves. It was no coincidence that it was at a gay bar, it wasn’t mere chance that it was “latinix night”. This was nothing but an act of hate. A senseless act of violence from someone who thought he had the right to decide that these people should die because of who they are and who they love. My heart is heavy for the families and friends of the victims. Not a moment goes by that I don’t keep this tragedy and the souls lost in it in my heart and mind. There is nothing we can do now except love. Love with our whole hearts and souls and embrace ourselves and who we love. On this pride month, remember them, remember their names. May you all find peace and love in this tragic time.

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34
Stanley Almodovar III, 23
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22
Luis S. Vielma, 22
K.J. Morris, 37
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30
Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50
Amanda Alvear, 25
Martin Benitez Torres, 33
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31
Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26
Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19
Cory James Connell, 21
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37
Luis Daniel Conde, 39
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33
Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21
Jerald Arthur Wright, 31
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25
Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24
Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33
Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49
Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24
Christopher “Drew” Leinonen, 32
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28
Frank Hernandez Escalante, 27
Paul Terrell Henry, 41
Akyra Monet Murray, 18
Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24
Antonio Davon Brown, 29
Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

it’s…..so funny…when celebrities say shit like ‘money can’t buy happiness’ while they’re sitting in mansions and never having to worry about putting food on the table, or when they say ‘looks don’t matter, everyone is beautiful’ while actively participating in a business/establishment that literally makes money off of people being insecure and hating themselves god it’s just so fucking transparent

on draco malfoy's patronus being a thestral

I AM HERE TO ANSWER YOUR CALLS thestral may seem like a badass / very strange choice of a patronus for draco but I am here to explain WHY I think it should be draco’s patronus!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts / have people elaborate on my thoughts so feel free to!

First off, I feel like a lot of people brush off the idea of him having a thestral patronus because heck, why should draco malfoy of all people have a mythical creature? But that’s one of the reasons why i love it. We all know that draco would absolutely LOVE having a mythical patronus ( you know, being special ) but I stand strongly behind the idea that the ONE mythical patronus he would have never wanted is a thestral.

A patronus is suppose to be a representation of yourself, and why the hell would he like it if he had patronus that reminds him of the war? of him being a death eater? of what he had to do and what it ended up causing? it’s an irony i love to indulge in & think about. Rather than being stuck up and proud i personally think draco would have wished for anything else. I’m pretty sure draco would be the type who would pull a disgusted face if he saw a thestral rather than be happy by it. He wouldn’t want to show this patronus off. Like, can you imagine? Pansy pestering him to show her, “wow i bet it’s a fucking ferret, isn’t it”, and when she actually sees it everything goes to shit because of fucking course, draco malfoy out of all people would have a thestral patronus, that even the embodiement of his happiest memory and his soul would link back to the horrors of the war and what he’s done.

Thestrals as you all know are considered to be dangerous, omens of misfortune and only visible to those who have seen death. They are quite literally representative of death. It spells out /evil/ and /bad/ no matter how you look at how the world portrays them.

This is where I’m grateful for Luna Lovegood. We’ve all seen a different side to the thestrals in the films, with Luna stating that “they’re quite gentle, really, but people tend to avoid them because they’re a bit…different.” Thestrals externally look ghostly, grim with them being dark & skeletal all the way through ( this could be another reason why draco = thestral but i’m not making that connection LOL ) if we place in on a canon timeline, the only place where draco would /really/ be trying to conjure a patronus would be after the war, and keeping that in mind it makes a lot of sense. It’s not a big stretch to say that post-war draco became an image of the war, with him being a death eater. His past haunts him, with people only seeing into his image of a death eater without acknowledging him trying his best to redeem himself.

The whole idea of a thestral being a creature that is representive of death & misfortune but also having the ability to be a person’s patronus, basically the opposite of what a thestral is known for, is SUCH a good way of describing draco. The image of post-war draco malfoy is like the image of a thestral in a flowerfield, they stand out too much for their setting of peace despite them not doing anything but being themselves. People fear/hate thestrals and they can’t help it, just as people can’t help but slap “death eater” on draco.

BUT! despite their external appearances thestrals are gentle, extremely loyal…and cutting away at the war and everything else we know draco is loyal. He is so loyal to his family, and even if its /bad/ he wouldn’t hesitate to defend them even if it’s by taunting / mocking the person. He loves them, and this goes both ways - maybe it’s him being prideful of his blood heritage because of how he was raised, or maybe he truly really loves his family ( which i definitely think he goddamn does ). Thestrals can be representative of both, they are attracted to the smell of blood but will also become aggressive if they view someone as a threat to themselves, their friends or even their owner.

It makes sense that draco’s patronus would be a gentle, misunderstood being who sometimes does the wrong thing out of love, or fear, but for a reason that isn’t purely “ because i wanted to”. I just really like the idea of a thestral both symbolising draco’s deeper, hidden parts that he’s too scared to show to the world while also simultaneously being able to represent his life and what he experiences.

I also do think it’ll be a nice way to make draco get over the horrors of war and let go of his past and just live. Draco coming to terms with him having a thestral patronus would practically be him coming to terms with who he is and the mistakes he’s made.

And just to add onto everything above : draco was owner of the elder wand at a point ( thestral hair core ), and thinking about when he was the owner and what was happening at the time, i think everything works out nicely.

All in all i just think thestral is a really clever choice for draco, and clever just so happens to work perfectly for him.

EDIT: ALL THIS AND I FORGOT TO EVEN MENTION THE FACT THAT THESTRALS ARE CLEVER

sharkie-heart  asked:

Hi there! I'm not sure if you've answered something similar to this, but I'm wanting to write an autistic character. She's very severe, and has trouble communicating (slurred speech), her personality is also very spacey and oblivious. Any tips, or things to learn about writing an autistic character when I myself am not autistic? Thank you! Take your time!

Thanks for your question, love!  I apologize for the wait, but I’m happy to finally get to answer this :)

So first, I’ve got a a note on what you’ve described about your character.  For one thing, it’s preferred among most autistic people that there be no “sliding scale” of severity – because there are so many different symptoms and combinations of symptoms, and “severity” seems to only relate to symptoms that bother allistic people most.  Here’s a masterpost on how to handle this topic.

So now that this is out of the way, here are my official tips for writing autistic characters!

How to Write Autistic Characters

So it took me some time to prepare for this question, primarily because I saw so little information out there for writing about autism!  And that’s understandable, since it’s such a complex topic – after all, no two autistic people have exactly the same symptoms and coping mechanisms.  Plus, since autism is basically a top-to-bottom different living experience, it’s difficult for allistics to identify with.

But I’m going to discuss this in a few different parts: symptoms, coping mechanisms, positive qualities, and stereotypes to avoid.  I’ll try to keep it as brief as possible without sparing any information :)

Symptoms of Autism

There are many different symptoms of autism, although the mental/emotional aspects of the disorder is most often overlooked by the general public.  It’s important to recognize that every autistic person’s experience and symptoms are different.  Some people have few social problems but they can’t handle the sensory experience of a restaurant; some have few physical problems, but they struggle with OCD and can’t maintain a conversation.  The only difference between symptoms is that some are talked about and some are not, which makes them seem “uncommon.”

Physical Symptoms

  • Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) – SPD is defined as the struggle to process different sensory input – visual, auditory, tactile, taste, olfactory, proprioception, vestibular and interoception.  SPD causes hyper- or hyposentitivities to certain sensory stimuli (e.g. certain clothing textures, food textures, scents, and lighting – especially fluorescent lighting.  Ugh.)
  • Dyspraxia – A result of SPD, dyspraxia makes it difficult to control one’s physical movement.  It creates problems with planning and executing actions, as well as speaking or judging spacial proximity.
  • Sleep Disorder – Many autistic people struggle with sleeping for various reasons – hypersensitivity seems to be the greatest cause.  Offensive sheet fabric, noises, or lighting can cause sleep problems, as well as racing thoughts or anxiety.
  • Lack of Energy (or Spoons) – Often caused by sleep problems or SPD, a lack of energy intensifies normal symptoms.  Understand that when an autistic person engages in a stressful or energy-consuming experience (prolonged socialization, insomnia, bad sensory environments, anxiety, etc.)
  • Nonverbal Communication – This type of communication is used by nearly one-third of autistic people, either because they aren’t able to use language in a meaningful way, because it requires an excessive amount of mental/social energy, or because they suffer from a learning disability.  Some people go temporarily nonverbal in times of stress to conserve energy.  Most nonverbal autistic people learn other means of communication, like writing, sign language, or scripting/echolalia.

Mental Symptoms

  • Executive Dysfunction – This dysfunction makes it difficult for some autistic people to start, finish, and quit tasks; to make decisions and switch activities; and/or create, organize, and follow through with plans.  This should not be confused with procrastination, as it is not a decision – it’s a result of low energy.
  • Alexithymia – Alexithymia can cause autistic people to struggle to identify their own emotions, or separate physical feelings from emotional feelings.  It’s closely tied with lowered interoception, which is defined as the struggle (or inability) to define and assess physical sensations like hunger, thirst, tension, etc.
  • Meltdowns – Meltdowns are an emotional response to overstimulation and stress, causing some autistic people to “lose control” of visceral emotional responses (e.g. shaking, kicking, crying, shouting, etc.).  There is another type of meltdown called a shutdown, which causes an opposite reaction: dissociation and lack of external response.  It’s a flight reaction rather than a fight reaction.
  • Increased Likelihood for Other Mental Disorders – Since the world isn’t exactly built for autistic people, there are plenty of everyday challenges and stressors (as well as difficulty maintaining supportive relationships) that can cause other comorbid disorders, such as OCD, anxiety, and depression.
  • Learning Disability and Late Childhood Development – While autism itself is not classified as a learning disability, it’s often comorbid with different types of learning disabilities.  Autism can also cause late development of speech and motor skills, among other things.

Social Symptoms

  • Hyperempathy or Low Empathy – On two ends of the spectrum, autistic people often struggle with the “right balance” of empathy – being either unable to identify, express, and empathize with emotions, or unable to shut off or control their own emotions as well as to separate themselves from other people’s emotions.
  • Impulsive Behavior – Because of a (sometimes) weak understanding of social rules and/or imbalanced empathy, an autistic person may struggle to stop and think before they say or do something impulsively.  This can cause interpersonal issues, as impulsive speech may offend or hurt others, while impulsive actions may feel too “out-of-control” or “hard to manage” for loved ones.
  • Difficulty Interpreting or Expressing Social Cues – Autistic people often struggle to understand facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, sarcasm, flirting, or figures of speech – and because of this, they can often come off as “oblivious” or “simple” (although this is inaccurate and contributes to a lot of misrepresentation).  It can also be difficult to express social cues, which is why some autistic people can appear to be awkward, clingy, aloof, or uninterested in friendship/romance.
  • Social Anxiety – Social situations can be especially stressful for autistic people, due to the amount of thinking it requires – to interpret cues, to “pass” as allistic, to express themselves clearly, to curb impulses, to handle sensory challenges – and this leads to social anxiety.
  • Social Isolation – As a result of social anxiety, some autistic people experience isolation, as they may feel more comfortable in their own environment, alone.  This is an unfortunate result of ableist culture, and may be worsened by executive dysfunction which can make it difficult to reach out to others.
  • Struggle with Change – Whether in routine, environment, appearance, or the natural changes of life (such as graduation, moving, marriage, death in the family, new job, etc.), change can cause great stress for some autistic people.  This is why many autistic people enjoy comfort objects, old music, childhood memories/interests, or specific, consistent colors, styles, or textures for their belongings.

Coping Mechanisms for Autistic People

There are many methods of coping with the negative aspects of autism, but there are a few that are most popular:

  • Behavioral & Occupational Therapy – Therapy (often combined with medication) is a continuous process of reducing symptoms, coping with stressors, and learning how to function in an allistic world.  (The most common method of behavioral therapy, ABA, has reports of being abusive, so be mindful of this if you’re researching/writing about therapy!)
  • Stimming – “Stimming” or self-stimulating is a physical coping mechanism for sensory overload and similar stress.  Stimming can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the action involved (some unhealthy stims include skin-peeling or hitting one’s head), and it can be conscious or subconscious.  It’s often seen as “weird” or “bad” by allistics (especially parents), so some autistic people train themselves out of the habit from a young age.
  • Special Interests – Special interests are half a coping mechanism and half a natural part of autistic people’s lifestyles.  It’s defined as a devoted interest to one or two subjects or activities – special interests can reduce stress, help focus, and provide motivation against executive dysfunction. 

Positive Qualities of Autism

Now that we’ve gotten all the bad stuff out of the way, I’m gonna list a few common positive qualities of autistic people.  Remember that these do not apply to all autistic people, but may be a natural consequence of autistic traits:

  • Determination
  • Dedication
  • Divergence (from trends and social expectations)
  • Passion
  • Honesty
  • Uncritical nature
  • Attention to detail
  • Good memory
  • Logical reasoning
  • Active imagination
  • Integrity
  • Understanding of what it’s like to be judged or left out
  • Skilled with children

Autistic people, of course, have many other great qualities, and may struggle with many of the above.  Creating a character with all these qualities will yield you a stereotype, so be mindful!


Stereotypes of Autistic People

Finally, there are a few popular stereotypes of autistic characters, which should be avoided at all costs:

  • Autistic People are Psychic – We get this courtesy of shows like Touch, where the (usually nonverbal) autistic child suddenly starts speaking because they see ghosts or are somehow connected to “another world”.  Autistic people joke about themselves being “aliens”… but allistic people really shouldn’t.
  • Autistic People Need Caretakers – While some autistic people do struggle to manage their lives alone, it’s a pretty harmful stereotype in media considering the lack of positive representation autistic people get.  Plenty of autistic people (whether you consider them high- or low-functioning) lead successful lives on their own, and they deserve representation.
  • Autistic People are Burdens – The most stereotypical portrayal of autistic people is that they are the weight pulling on their parents’ ankles – that they destroy parents’ sex lives and make teachers crazy and their friends need a “night off” from their autistic friends.
  • Autistic People are Childlike – While many autistic people enjoy activities geared toward children, and while meltdowns can resemble an allistic child’s temper tantrum, autistic people are not childish or unintelligent.  Autistic adults are adults, no matter their struggles.
  • Autistic People Look Different – Autistic people don’t all look a certain way from birth – this is a myth that has been debunked time and time again, the same way that the Vaccines Cause Autism myth has been debunked, time and time again.  Don’t perpetuate these myths in your writing.
  • Autistic People are Like Robots – Autistic people may not express their feelings well, but they have feelings.  Being nonverbal, being dissociative, being aloof or awkward – none of these things make an autistic person unfeeling or non-human.  Be mindful to show the emotional side of your autistic character, even if they struggle to express it to others.

Resources for Researching Autism

A lot of these are courtesy of @anonymusauthorin, whom I thank very much for her information and deep connection to the autistic community!

  • Ballastexistenz’s blog (on her personal experience with multiple disabilities and autism). [NSFW language]
  • Yes, That Too (blog on the personal experience of an autistic person with other neurodivergencies).
  • Aspects of Aspergers (specifically about Asperger’s, which is now called Autism Spectrum Disorder).
  • Disability in Kid Lit (discussions of disability representation in children’s/YA literature).
  • @scriptautistic is an active advice blog for writing about autism.
  • @autism-asks is an active blog that takes questions about autism.
  • @undiagnosedautismfeels is an active blog that receives submitted anecdotes about autistic struggles, some specific to being undiagnosed/self-diagnosed.
  • @autisticheadcanons is an active blog that receives submissions of characters that actual autistic people headcanon as autistic.  You can find some common submissions (e.g. Lilo Pelekai, Newt Scamander, Sherlock Holmes) and check them out for examples!

Final Note: You may notice that none of these links are affiliated with Autism Speaks, which is for a purpose.  Autism Speaks has a long history of promoting eugenics, abusing autistic children and adolescents, silencing the voice of actual autistics, and promoting a “find a cure” narrative that’s harmful to the minds of both autistic people and potential parents of autistic children.  When doing research, I’d advise you to refrain from using their resources.


Anyway, this was hugely long but I wanted to really go into it, since I didn’t see many other extensive guides on writing about autism.  Note that while I, myself, am autistic, this is only the perspective of one autistic person.  Either way, I hope this helps you with your character!  If you have any further questions, my inbox is open and waiting :)

Good luck!


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask me!

Girl in Pieces, by Kathleen Glasgow

Although this book tells a story of people being cruel to themselves, it is a book about being gentle with yourself. It seems odd to call this novel kind, as it was often a savage read (it is unflinching in its portrayal of self-harm, homelessness, addiction, and desperation) but it has such a sweet heart, such a piercing desire for its characters to improve themselves in every way, that hope persists in even the darkest moments. Glasgow’s use of adult characters to challenge, support, and mirror the teen characters is genuinely inspired, and the resulting fictional neighborhood dynamic felt intensely real. In general, the characters are wonderfully drawn, and although this novel is nothing like Code Name Verity, I think I might recommend it to folks who enjoyed that one. Girl in Pieces prioritizes characters and their complicated truths in a similar way. I’d probably recommend this one for older teens and adults who read YA, not because I believe in shielding kids from content, but because the characters in this novel make nuanced and morally gray decisions that might render them unlikable to a less experienced soul. I know I would have judged the narrator more harshly at 13 than at 18, and that would have been a shame.

This one earns a place on my keeper shelf. Will instantly pick up whatever Glasgow puts out next.

you know.. tbh? i take quite a bit of happiness from seeing disabled people starting to care for themselves… as in, just simple things, like rejecting the shame, acknowledging their needs, and recognising that sometimes you just simply need help..

and it’s just really nice for me to see hoh/deaf people finally going for sign language to get away from the oralism that was forced on them, or seeing physically disabled people starting to just recognise they need canes or wheelchairs, or seeing people get stim toys and just genuinely enjoying them..

and it kind of fills me with joy seeing people post photos of themselves, talking about just getting to be themselves… and just.. it makes me happy to see youth challenging the stigma and shame that has been pushed on disabled people.

it’s just so nice seeing people being able to be themselves and being able to recognise their struggles and needs openly.. and seeing people finally getting to find community.

PSA From an Actually Autistic Person

It hasn’t even been 24 hours and I’ve already seen a crappy anon (on someone else’s blog) trying to perpetuate ableist myths and comprehensions about autism.  Unsurprisingly I am annoyed, but the event has inspired me to write a post highlighting certain trends that certain ableist allistics (non-autistic people) love to pull on this month.

First of all calling this month “Autism Awareness Month” which is not the term that most actually autistic people would prefer this month to be called “Autism Acceptance Month”.  The message of “awareness” brings to mind Autism $peaks and other organizations that perpetuate ableist attitudes towards those on the autistic spectrum

Second of all the insistence that autism isn’t “fun”.  This is something that allistic (non-autistic) use when they see people “romanticize” autism.  When autistic people celebrate being themselves and being autistic it makes allistic people uncomfortable and they want to stop it (the same way homophobes are not happy with LGBTQ+ people embracing their identities and being happy with themselves).  They will also say that autism is a struggle or a burden, when in reality majority of struggles that autistic people face is less because they are autistic and more because they encounter overt and covert ableism from allistic people in society (which is not to say that we do not have our own struggles, but rather that we need to examine and discuss autism from the perspective of autistic people as opposed to allistic perspectives)

Next is the insistence on the family.  Allistics cannot not shut up about how autism “affects” the family.  They talk about how autistic people are burdens or challenges on the family and vilify how “stressful” autistic members of the family supposedly are to their allistic relatives.  Not only is this extremely damaging to autistic people’s self-esteems, it also creates a narrative where autistic people are burdens not to be empathized with; instead empathy should go to the allistic people.  This is a disgusting and ableist tactic that Autism $peaks and those who are not on the spectrum, and is commonly used to justify any harm committed towards autistic people by their families and care-takers

Finally keep your eyes peeled for anti-vaxxers, people who call or compare autism to a “epidemic” or “disease”, puzzle-piece imagery, and any “Light it Up Blue” events.

There are more awful things that allistic people try to pull, be it in April or other months, so please be critical of what you read this month especially if it was written by an allistic person.  Instead, please listen to actually autistic people; our voices are not just important this month they are essential.

Thank you for your time, I hope this was informative

In general it should really go without saying to not harass actors just because you don’t like their character, or the show’s ships, or writing. But Tumblr has seemed to have forgotten common decency and sense.

Tips for Those Who Find Self-Affirmation Super Difficult:
Use other people to see yourself. Think about your best friends, favorite characters, etc who have flaws and think about how much you love them anyway. Think about how a friend or someone reading a book about you would describe you
Take it slow. I love those posts telling everyone to think of themselves as strong beautiful precious land sharks or whatever, but some people aren’t ready to believe that yet and saying the words just feels like something you’re supposed to say and not something you mean. You can work up to big affirmations by starting with little ones; “I’m pretty good at math and I have nice eyes” might be easier than starting off with “I’m beautiful and a genius”
Start off deconstructing negative thoughts. It can be hard sometimes to convince yourself that you’re great when your head won’t stop screaming “but I’m useless and gross!!” or whatever. Try to rephrasing those thoughts so you can continue to self affirm- remind yourself that most people aren’t completely awful and that there are many things that you do well
Make lists. List your positive traits, and then think about one specifically and convince yourself of them one at a time. List your goals and then the ways that your positive traits can help you achieve them. List all the times in your life where you’ve felt proud or good about yourself and use them like little Patronus memories to ward off bad thoughts.
Visualize your affirmations. It can be infinitely more effective to think about all the times you’ve been generous in your life than to merely say “I am generous.”
Spend time around people who talk to you the way you should be talking to yourself. It sounds kind of dumb, but at times even people who insult you in a completely friendly way as a joke (“are you coming to the party bitch?” etc) can contribute to you being able to say those things to yourself, even if it’s harmless. Conversely, being around people who talk to you positively can really, really help it sink in.
Figure out what tone best relays self affirming information to you. For some people, it’s the cute and non-threatening pictures of animals telling you to be kind to yourself. For some, it’s imagining the affirmations to be coming from a person or character you think of as wise. For some, it’s trying to make it sound as logical an argument as possible so that there’s no room for self-doubt. Sometimes you need them all at different times.
If using words at all to self affirm is difficult or problematic for you, try other ways of reinforcing the information. Do things that make you feel good about yourself and highlight positive qualities you have, like volunteering or creating or whatever it might be. Reward yourself when you do something good or reflect on something that makes you good. You can even self affirm through movies and music.
Sometimes broad definitions help. Try to remember that your definition of being a good person has to be flexible; it doesn’t hing solely on being a good parent or friend or boss or writer. For most people, being able to define themselves as a good person is the basis for their positive sense of identity, so try to remember that there are MANY different ways to be a good person that are not contingent upon never screwing up

I’m so fucking done with fandom. 

Done with the art theft, done with the homophobia, done with people caring more about fake-marginalized people than actual marginalized people, done with fan wank, done with bickering over headcanons, done with harassing creators, done with certain kinds of fan work (i.e. gifs, fanfiction) being devalued, done with ship wars, done with people being told to kill themselves over fiction, done with whining, done with entitlement, just so fucking done it’s not even funny. 

…So. *props chin on hands and regards fandom* When’s the time when Steve fans allow us Tony fans to write and enjoy what we want, instead of acting like they are supposed to be able to police us into only writing what they deem acceptable (usually only fics that portray Steve in a saint-like light without exploring his flaws and bad decisions) gonna come? I’m really looking forward to it.


Inspired by that latest AO3 meta(?) post and the multiple fics I see get flamed if they are even partially critical toward Steve. Especially if, goodness forbid, it’s a Stony fic where Steve isn’t forgiven right away.

If you think gay people should “tone down their gayness” you’re a homophobe

If you think gay couples need to stop showing each other affection in public, you’re a homophobe

If you are “okay with gay people as long as they don’t rub their sexuality in my face” you’re a homophobe

If seeing gay people being themselves makes you uncomfortable, you’re a homophobe