people are pitiful

I was tagged by @herwinnen to put my music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then tag 10 people

1. Maddy Ellwanger - “PITY PARTY”

2. Dirt On Me

3. Hit and Run - LOLO

4.  We Are Number One but it’s a Remix Compilation of Memes

5. Ken Ashcorp - Hunter

6. The Real Tuesday Weld - Me and Mr Wolf

7. Lazyboy Empire - Vampire

8.  Cash Cash - Overtime

9.  Eros and Apollo - Studio Killers

10.  Hollywood Undead - "Another Way Out”

I tag.. uuh

@onoiroi  @umo-kun @owlcafe @geminiagent @armiv

And anyone else who wants to do it :v

one of the reasons im so shitty at talking to people is because i can’t believe that im someone people want to talk to as opposed to them feeling like im an obligation so when people message me i always think that ignoring them would relieve us both of the burden

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ² which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

—  creatingnikki 

Disabled people’s lives are not tragedies.
Parents and carers are not “heroes” for loving disabled people.
Disabled people’s private moments should not be shared without consent on your “warrior mom” blog.
Disabled people are not your pity hires, dates, or friends.
Disabled people do not exist to be saved or spoken for by non-disabled people.

Treat disabled people with respect and dignity.
Treat disabled people like people.

Sangwoo’s Feelings for Yoonbum

This is an analysis of Sangwoo’s feelings and thoughts throughout the chapters and how he developed feelings for Bum. This is basically Sangwoo’s POV of the story. It might answer some of the questions I’ve been seeing around about ‘Why did Sangwoo do this or that?’ and etc.

0. Emptiness

I think it’s very obvious that Sangwoo used to be really really lonely before Bum showed up. As a child he was abused and I think he was very attached to his mother so he lost the only person in his life that he truly loved. Imagine how frustrating it is to always pretend to be someone else. Be happy, smile, laugh, joke and hang out with people you don’t even like. You think they’re flawed, shallow, stupid, ungrateful and have ugly personalities (Sangwoo’s words) but this is the only way he can be with people. He has to wear a mask 24/7 that hides his true personality and I don’t care if he’s horrible, he’s still human. He doesn’t whine about it but he’s been subconsciously suffering. He has so many ‘friends’ and yet he’s completely lonely because nobody accepts him for what he really is. He literally does not have anyone.

Now before you blame his behavior and tendencies, I want to point out that I think Sangwoo has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), shows signs of BPD and also he’s a victim of abuse so with those in mind, let’s start:


1. ‘A perverted stalker?’

A guy broke into Sangwoo’s house and when he got caught, he confessed to him, telling him that he’s been in love with him. Sangwoo smiles because ‘people are full of shit’ and say anything to save themselves. Let’s trust his words here and say he didn’t kill Bum because he hadn’t kill a man in 3 years but I also think at that moment he feels like he should keep Bum around. Maybe out of curiosity? He’s not sure why yet. He just knows Bum is a different case. To do that, he breaks Bum’s legs to make sure he won’t leave.


2. ‘Can I be attracted to a man?’

He doesn’t know what to do with this guy. Bum is not loud or annoying, he doesn’t disobey him and is powerless. Sangwoo started to rationalize things for himself and figure out if he can be attracted to Bum, a man, in any way, basically he started exploring,

But still, he doesn’t trust this ‘perverted stalker’ so he is thinking, ‘I’ll provoke him and I’ll have a reason to end his life.’ BUT to his surprise, his plan backfires. Bum likes the abuse (or at least pretends to). Despite mocking Yoonbum, Sangwoo is surprised! He loves what he’s seeing. I believe he never got a reaction like that from anyone before when abusing them. And so he takes another step forward and kisses him, still experimenting.

He likes the kiss. He decides to keep Bum for now. He keeps him in the basement for a week. He hurts Bum by cutting him (punishing him) but still Yoonbum doesn’t push him away. Sangwoo realizes Yoonbum really is not a threat and is powerless which is why he took him upstairs and when Yoonbum begged him not to take him to the basement again, despite rejecting him, he considered it.


3. ‘You will hate me!’ First Test

Sangwoo believed Yoonbum will eventually want to leave him. Because I think he is aware of his own wrong actions to some point at least. Why would anyone want to stay with him after everything that happened, right? But the big improvement was that he wasn’t planning to kill him anymore. Why? I believe this is where the feelings started to develop. When he sees his mother (the only person he loved), in Yoonbum. Although he can separate these two people very well in reality.

Yoonbum said ‘I love you!’ AGAIN even after everything and Sangwoo is once again surprised! He slowly starts to trust this person’s feelings. He even gives him a knife but… not because he trusts Bum. That’s a test. I’m not sure if this translation is right but I believe that’s what he means by ‘I have something I want to confirm too’. He’s testing Yoonbum’s loyalty. He wants to know if Bum really means it when he says he loves him.

After that the real abuse starts and I believe he’s copying his father’s behavior while Yoonbum is ‘the mom’. He makes him do house chores, beats him up, etc… Meanwhile he enjoys abusing him and is waiting for an excuse to hurt him badly because he’s not emotionally attached to him yet. He doesn’t care. But Yoonbum is always obedient and finally… Sangwoo lets Yoonbum sit at the table with him because he wonders why Yoonbum is so nice to him, always smiling and listening to him and even made him a really nice dinner. He suspects him and it happens to be the same night Yoonbum uses the rat poison. For whatever reason, the poison doesn’t work on Sangwoo and Yoonbum passes the first test!


4. ‘He really loves me?’

When Yoonbum got sick, is where we can see Sangwoo’s emotions to some point. Sangwoo picked him up and took him to the basement but he looked at Bum and actually felt sorry for him (or maybe he just couldn’t see him as a threat. Either way) He went back up and laid him down on his own mattress. He took care of him and told him to rest. You can see him sitting beside him and staring at him in silence and I love this panel so much because you can see Sangwoo caring. can’t help but feel like he’s worrying for his sick bunny xD His emotions aren’t strong but he doesn’t want to lose Bum.

I think the question Yoonbum asked (whether he really meant it or not) made Sangwoo happy a bit. Chapter 5 is where he finally feels attached to Yoonbum and shows him affection. They started exchanging stories. Sangwoo was actually interested to know about his story, although he was a bit disappointed, saying that it’s ‘boring’ and that he hates weak people like Yoonbum who self pity. “Stop going on about how lonely you are. I hate that shit.” Why? Because Sangwoo is not the type that stay sad and depressed over their misfortunes. He’s the type that wants to get stronger to beat whatever and whoever is in his way. But in a way he thinks Yoonbum is like him. He started comparing himself with Yoonbum which is a big improvement. He told him how Yoonbum made things easier for him. “Why? How? I looked for a reason. And then I saw you.” He told Bum he was glad they were together and Yoonbum’s love made him feel stronger which I believe means Yoonbum’s love and obedience gives him confidence. And by kissing Bum’s wrist he implied that the love can be mutual.
Although he still doesn’t fully trust him (which is probably why he also refused the bj) but he was letting himself believe that Bum’s love for him was real. He’s happy to see someone is still in love with him even after everything that happened and after he saw Sangwoo’s true personality. He has someone now that knows his darkest secrets and still wants him for what he really is.


5. ‘Almost there…’ Second Test

Everything seems to be going well after that. Sangwoo was kind and affectionate towards Yoonbum. He took care of him and joked around. Although I’d like to think he was being too nice on purpose and not really himself and that’s because the second test was coming. He wanted Bum to feel he’d lowered his guards. He reminded Bum not to cross the line then left the house and Bum fails the second test.


6. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’ First Lesson

Even though he was hoping Yoonbum won’t come out, he expected it (considering he had the basement ready for him). He does not trust Bum at all and I think he was trying to kill Bum until he saw him calling his name even in his last moments so that changed his mind. It’s as if you want to let go of someone you like but they keep coming back to you so you can’t make the right decision. He wants Yoonbum. He wants someone to love him and he knows he probably won’t ever find anyone like that again. He was disappointed in Yoonbum SO he decided to make him better! Stronger! Like himself. So after punishing him, first he decided to show him how pathetic he is. He found a guy for Bum to kill (’for practice’), meanwhile insulting both of them to show Bum how 'bad’ it is to be weak.

Sangwoo still cares about him and makes sure Yoonbum knows that. The sick little mind games he played, were only because he enjoys seeing Bum relying on him and trusting him blindly. As I said before, it gives him confidence and makes him feel stronger.

This first murder happened. It was supposedly to make Bum stronger, show him how it feels to kill and… the most important part, help Yoonbum understand Sangwoo and be closer to him (spiritually!?) so they can be together.


7. ‘He left me too! I won’t forgive him!’ The Breakdown

Fear of abandonment. I already wrote a long post and talked about Sangwoo’s fear of abandonment here. The panic that happens after he thinks he’s been abandoned and the roller coaster of emotions. Rage, Fear, Worry, Sadness. He feels betrayed. He goes mad … and I have one thing to add to it all. I think that might’ve been how he felt when his mother ‘left him’ AKA died considering the flashbacks. (I’m not sure if this person is his mother though. She might have been a replacement?) I don’t know if Sangwoo killed her or something else happened but we can be sure that he loves and wants Yoonbum equally.

When he finds Yoonbum… he realizes how valuable he is to him and so he finally decides, “Let’s stay together… forever…”


8. ‘See how disgusting people are’

I’m going to skip a bit to where Sangwoo introduces Yoonbum to his ‘friends’. I think this is all to let Yoonbum get bullied, emotionally hurt, to build up some anger in him and provoke him. To remind him this is how people will treat you if you let them. Sangwoo already knows Yoonbum has been bullied and hurt a lot in his life because in a way he can relate to him. They are the same people. They were both hurt and abused and they have the right to punish these disgusting people. And this is all for Yoonbum and for the both of them. Sangwoo is pulling him up to his level or at least close so that they can be together. Jieun was a gift to Yoonbum and Sangwoo was happy to see Yoonbum accepted that gift.



I tried to keep this as short as possible. I think I understand Sangwoo well and I believe this is also the reason why he kills… but still these are only my thoughts and how I see everything. So they might not be 100% true. Koogi might have more surprises for her readers. But still, I love this character a lot and I can’t wait to see and know more about him and his past. Also I kind of fast forwarded the last chapter because there are so many posts about it already.

not to be rude™ but adding to the pining keith hc, do u think that once he finally had lance and was loved by someone he pined after for so long, he’d be terrified to lose him?
bc okay, he was orphaned at a young age, and he lost shiro, who was probably his closest thing to family, for a year, and he was kicked out of the garrison which may have been one of the first times he felt like he belonged somewhere and we saw how he reacted when team voltron almost disbanded
so can you imagine how scared he would be of losing something he wanted for so long? like he will just be laying next to lance and despite being in his arms, he still can’t fall asleep bc he can’t get rid of this awful feeling that he’s going to lose him, so he feels overly protective during missions and he’ll question himself and his relationship and whether or not lance actually cares for him
OR you can look at the other side of it where maybe he just accepts that lance will leave him and so he cherishes every single moment he has with him and is adamant about recording what they do together by writing it down and taking pictures and he feels like he can’t ever get too attached, but then realizes how much he loves lance and starts to panic bc he cares too much and he loves him too much for this to go away and the second that lance seems a bit distant from him, keith will start acting a but more reckless and physically exhausting himself through training to keep his mind off of the imminent breakup that never actually happens
and in either scenario, when lance finds keith back in his own bed and asks why he doesn’t want to sleep with him (lance just assumes he doesn’t feel well or maybe he just needs some alone time), he’s a bit surprised by the look of shock and relief that washes over keith’s face and if those were really just tears that keith was wiping off of his cheeks, well then lance will bring it up in the morning

In the space of a couple of months, I feel like I’ve changed so much. The things that used to capture my attention no longer interest me. I’ve rarely seen my friends because they’re all so busy, so I literally only have myself to focus on. I’m training 4 times a week, I’m eating clean and my body feels great. I have a schedule now so my days are structured and I’m sacrificing a lot of things I used to love to do, so I can save. I don’t have a car anymore and it’s made me more active. I’m always on and off the train and it’s saved me so much money. And I’m meditating every morning. If I wanna do something - I take myself out. I used to pity people who ate in restaurants by themselves, but i love doing that shit. I’m happy being single, at the moment I’m living a loners dream. People are hollering but I’m legally blind right now man. I needed this time to myself. I’m loving falling back in love with myself.

This moment when you realize how Rey spent most of her life alone, desperately fighting to survive, always starving and probably woke up every day with the slight hope someone might come for her, yet noone ever did. And that Finn spent most of his life in the hands of a facist organisation that took him from his parents  to turn him into a willingless killing machine, only giving him a number for a name, with people trying to erase the compassion he felt for others, ordering him to commit gruesome acts he could not do because of it. And then remember the character people pity the most on this website is K/ylo Ren. 

anonymous asked:

can you please do another soulmate au in this one when you reach the age of 16 a tattoo of your soulmates initials appear on your body. jughead never told anyone his real name and betty has no idea who the F.J. tattooed on her skin could be.. please :)))

Aw man, this is cool!
****

Jughead took a deep breath, pulling the beanie he always wore, lower on his head. He took a peek in the mirror to make sure his ears were covered, that was the purpose of his beanie after all.

Running his fingers over the spot just behind his ear, partly covered by wavy dark hair, he traced the delicate letters “B.C”

Of course he knew what they stood for, they had shown up so suddenly the day he turned sixteen. He remembered the shock and disbelief he felt at seeing those very familiar initials, scrawled in pretty feminine letters over his tan skin.

Betty Cooper. His soulmate was Betty Cooper, there was no one else, it had to be Betty. He couldn’t tell her, couldn’t show anyone. On his birthday Archie had begged to see his initials

“It’s a right of passage dude! Come on, you were the first one I showed when I got Veronica’s initials!” Archie practically pleaded with the boy.

Jughead had simply shook his head and shrugged his shoulders
“I didn’t get any initials, looks like I don’t have a soulmate.” He played it off as a joke but the sympathetic look veronica and Kevin had thrown him nearly made him spill the truth. He hated having people pity him.
There had to be a mistake, there was no way Betty was for him, she was perfect and soft and sweet, but equally as powerful and strong. He was just the boy from the wrong side of the tracks, he didn’t deserve her. Today was her birthday and he was sick to his stomach about who her actual soulmate would be.

Trevor Brown, it had to be him. The way he stared at her in the hallway made him sick, and when Trevor offered to carry her books to class Jughead felt postively violent.

Speaking of the beautiful blonde, she was headed his way, an angry looking Kevin and a confused Veronica in tow.

He heard Kevin huffing
“I don’t see why you can’t tell us, it has to be someone we know. We’re not gonna judge you Betty. Just tell us.”

Veronica was nodding along
“I promise B, whoever it is, we’ll make it work, whatever it takes.” She placed a soothing hand to her shoulder.

Betty finally reached Jughead ,Archie joining the group, practically sprinting out of the bathroom at the mention of Betty’s soulmate. Everyone in riverdale had been waiting to see who americas sweetheart would be paired with.

“I don’t know! I’m not lying, I genuinely have no idea. It’s no one we know, I’m not telling anyone until I figure it out!” She pouted, gripping Jugheads arm and leading him ahead of the group.

As curious as he was, he allowed her to pull him without questioning it.
“Happy birthday Juliet.” He spoke low, for only her to hear.

She turned to him with a sad smile
“Not so happy Juggie.”

He opened the door to the blue and gold office for her as she curtsied and giggled
“Thanks Romeo.” She threw him a wink before plopping down on the ugly plaid couch, her friends storming in after her.

Jughead quickly took the open spot next to her, at least he could save her from Kevin sitting there.

She sighed as everyone stared at her
“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it. And I promise I’ll tell you once I figure it out.” She spoke it all so quick it knocked her breath away, slumping to lean against Jughead.
He wrapped a comforting hand around her shoulder, gently squeezing.
She looked up at him and sighed
“Wanna know a secret?” She whispered a sad smile furrowing her brows.

Jughead nodded turning to look at her
“You know I love a secret.”

She smiled
“Me too. Well. I don’t really know how to say this, so I guess I’ll just spit it out. I wanted it to be you. I wanted you to be my soulmate, I know you don’t have one and all but, I thought maybe you were mine. I know it’s stupid, but now I’m stuck with this stupid F.J on my palms and I have no clue who it is. It’s totally weird, but..”
Jughead cut her off quickly, gripping her wrist and bringing her hand dangerously close to his face.

“Juggie!” She pouted indignantly “staring at it isn’t going to make him appear, the least you could say is Thankyou, I mean I pretty much..”

He cut her off again, this time ripping off his beanie and throwing it behind the couch, his eyes still drawn to the heavy handed F.J written across her palm, it was surrounded by nail indents and crescent shaped scars from when she dug her fingernails into her palms, to calm her nerves.

“Jughead” she said again softly this time, her warm eyes ducking to catch his, tearing him away from her palm “are you okay?”

He broke into the biggest grin, raising a hand to tuck the hair away from his ear revealing the gorgeous B.C.

Betty gasped, her hand moving to her mouth.

“Is that…?”

He nodded slowly, gently holding her palms face up in his hands

“It’s nice to meet you Betty Cooper, my names Forsythe Jones.” He was smirking now as she opened and closed her mouth

“You mean?” She choked out

“You don’t think my parents actually named me Jughead do you?” He wrapped his large hands around her face, her palms resting on his chest, the F.J placed over his heart.

She traced her initials with watery eyes.
“I knew it.” She whispered

He smiled

“Damn am I glad.” He sighed out, capturing her lips in slow kiss.

i don’t think straight people will ever truly understand why many of us gay people LOVE being gay and why we would not change ourselves for the world. even the most progressive straight people, deep down, they pity us. they think we’d probably rather be straight if we could. “progressive” people always make the argument that “being gay isn’t a choice, because who would ever choose to be gay??” guess what: i didn’t choose to be gay, but i would. they’ll never understand that once we’re able to accept ourselves and find a safe community, being gay feels amazing. i love being a woman who loves women. and it’s only because of them that i’ve ever had to even think about questioning that. 

Art Raffle

I have thirty followers now! As a result, I’ve decided that I’m going to do an art raffle.

Rules:

Like or reblog to enter, and 1 like + 1 reblog = Two entries. Rebloging several times does not increase the number of entries. 

There will be two winners, 1st place and 2nd. The first place winner will get a fully colored and shaded piece of a character (Or a pair or characters) of their choosing, complete with a background if requested. It can be an OC, something from a book or movie, etc! Keep in mind you could be required to provide references.

 Examples:

The second place winner will get a fully colored digital piece of a character or scenery of their choosing. This will probably not include shading, but may include a background if requested!

Examples:

I don’t draw NSFW, gore, fetishes and etc. 

Good luck!

Cold

Jughead x reader

In which Jughead is an asshole because he doesn’t know how to deal with feelings.

*requested*


For as long as Jughead and I have known each other, he has disliked me. When we first met, I had nothing against him. In fact, I tried to be friendly, but was brushed off with his cold expression and rolling eyes. 

“And, this is Jughead!” Betty declared, finishing the introduction of her friends to me, as she showed me around the school. At this point my nerves had been settled by how friendly everyone else had been, and so I smiled widely as I surveyed the boy in front of me. He was sitting back on one of the sofas in the student common room. He looked up and it seemed for a moment as though he was going to return my smile and greet me, but I watched an inner turmoil in his eyes before his small smile dropped and his face became an impassive mask.

“Hey! I’m Y/N.” I said, standing in front of him excitedly. He simply looked me up and down critically and raised his eyebrows. 

“Okay.” And with that he went back to his sandwich. I was a little taken aback, but shook it off and sat next to him. 

“So, any advice for my first day?” I asked him, crossing my legs. He had taken a laptop out of his bag, and was typing quickly.

“No.” He muttered, not looking at me. I frowned.

“Well, there’s no need to be rude.” 

“There’s also no need to be so irritating, but you’re doing that anyway.” He said, and my mouth fell open. 

“Jughead!” Betty exclaimed. What the hell was his problem?

“I’m sorry, have I done something to offend you?” I asked, turning to him. He rolled his eyes.

“Well first of all, you have just strolled in here like we invited you, which we didn’t, and you’re already infuriating me, so I don’t suggest you stick around.” 

“Dude!” Archie shouted, frowning incredulously at Jughead. “What the hell?”
Betty too, was looking at him as if she didn’t recognise him.
Jughead just shrugged nonchalantly, looking down. I was outraged. I barely know this guy, and already he’s making judgements about me?

“What is wrong with you?” I asked him, fuming. He sighed exasperatedly, shutting his laptop and standing up.

“I’m out.” He muttered, picking up his bag and walking out of the room. I was left staring in shock at the place he had just been. Betty hurriedly came and sat next to me, looking concerned.

“Y/N I am so sorry about him, he’s never normally like that, I don’t…” She looked at Archie for an explanation of their friend’s behaviour, but he looked just as clueless.

“Well, whatever the reason, what he said wasn’t true.” Betty told me kindly. Archie shook his head quickly.

“Not at all. You should keep hanging out with us.” He said seriously. I hesitated.

“But, what about…” I gestured to the door Jughead had left through.

“Don’t worry about him. He can’t choose who we are friends with, and anyway, he’ll probably come around.”

He didn’t. 

We spent the next year taking part in dialogical fights and comeback battles. He’d make a snide remark at me, and I’d snap back in agitation. We’d both roll our eyes, he would insult me outright, and I’d pretend it didn’t affect me as I threw a sarcastic remark in his direction. 

There were times when, in the heat of the moment, he seemed to forget his hatred of me and we would laugh together. And other times I’d catch him looking at me, his face open and friendly: the Jughead I wish I knew. But then our eyes would meet and as quickly as he had opened he would close up and his face would become deadpan again. Our friends had long given up trying to make peace between us: neither of us were going to back down.

Nothing in our relationship changed for a long time. And when it did, it wasn’t in the way either of us expected.

“Morning Betty, Ronnie, Archie, Kevin.” I said, setting my things down at the table and enjoying the roll of Jughead’s eyes as I purposefully ignored him.

“Hey.” Said Ronnie. “I like your outfit.” My smile of thanks dropped when I heard a scoff from the other end of the table.

“Have something to say, Jones?” I asked him icily. The rest of the table groaned as they knew we would once again begin fighting.

“Oh, nothing, just that it’s funny watching people compliment you out of pity.”
“Sorry, Jughead, are you in my head?” Veronica sassed. “Because last time I checked you weren’t.” He shrugged casually.

“Sorry Ronnie, I just can’t take anyone seriously when they say nice things Y/N.” I rose from my seat, infuriated and ready to fight him. Kevin quickly stood up with his food.

“I’m leaving. This is about to get nasty.”

“Me too.” Said Betty, joining him. 

“Yeah, sorry guys.” Archie and Veronica agreed, standing up and leaving the table. We were left alone.

“Would you look at that.” Jughead observed with faux amazement. “You drove away all our friends. What a surprise!” 

“Actually, I think that was you.” I muttered angrily, looking down at him. He smirked up at me.

“Now, why would it be me, when you’re the one who forced them to be your friends in the first place.” He asked, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“What did you just say?” He stood up, his sarcastic façade dropping as he glared at me.

“I can’t believe you still don’t get this. When you came to this school, Betty showed you around, and you wormed your way into our friendship group, and now I can’t get rid of you. You aren’t wanted here! The rest of them only hang out with you because they’re too nice to tell you they don’t want to be friends with you. But I’m not, so on behalf of them Y/N, you should just stay away from us.” 

There was a long silence as I took in his words. I had always been insecure about whether I was wanted in this friendship group, and Jughead had just voiced my silent fears. We normally threw petty insults at each other and left it at that, but this was different. His words were ringing in my head as we stood across from each other and held eye contact. If I didn’t know better, I would say he looked guilty for what he had just said. His mouth was open in a way that looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t know what. I shook myself out of my thoughts, looking down. He waited for me to make a snappy, witty comeback, but I didn’t have one. Not this time. 

“Bye, Jughead.” I said quietly, picking up my bag and watching his face drop as I walked away.

I spent the next week alone. I knew I couldn’t really trust what Jughead said; he made stuff up all the time just to mess with me, but there was a lingering doubt in my mind that what he said was true, and I couldn’t get rid of it. So, I stayed away from Betty and Veronica and Archie and anyone I had previously called my friends. I knew they were confused. I didn’t miss Betty’s hurt face when I would deliberately turn away from her in the corridor, and I couldn’t ignore Veronica when she slammed my locker shut and asked me fiercely what was wrong. I remember mumbling some excuse about having too much work and hurrying away. 

They don’t want you around, I had to keep reminding myself when I turned away from Archie’s smile in my direction, or brushed off Betty’s desperate hand on my arm. She caught up with me after class and blocked the doorway.

“Y/N, what is going on? Is it something to do with Jughead?” She asked me anxiously. 

“I’m sorry Bets, I can’t.” I told her quietly, and walked past her, pushing down tears. It had been a week since I had had a proper conversation with any of them, and it was starting to get to me. I pushed my way into an empty classroom to eat my lunch. I was halfway through my food when the door was pushed open and I almost choked to death as Jughead barged his way in and strode towards me. I coughed, putting down my food and standing up.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked aggressively.

“Looking for you.” He said out of breath, looking quite flustered. “Look, will you just come and eat with us? Everyone’s miserable without you.” I scoffed.

“Well, whose fault is that?” I glared at him. He sighed, frowning. There was a silence as I waited for him to say something.

“Look, this is hard for me, but…” He struggled, looking anywhere but me. “I’m sorry, okay?” He looked up at me nervously. What kind of half-assed apology was that? I laughed dryly, and his frown returned.

“What? I just apologised to you, and you’re laughing?” He asked angrily, and I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Oh, that was an apology? Yeah, good one Jughead, why don’t you try again and I’ll see if I can hear it over your ego this time.” He threw his hands in the air.

“You are unbelievable.”

I’m unbelievable?” I asked incredulously.

“I don’t even know what you’re upset about.”

“You don’t know?”

“You’re overreacting.”

“Seriously?”

“Stop being so dramatic!”

“Stop being such an ass!”

“You first!”

“What is wrong with you?”

“You’re what’s wrong with me!” He screamed. We both stopped. We were standing about an inch away from each other, both breathing heavily. His eyes were wild and angry as they stared down at me.
The silence and the tension were unbearable, and just as I was about to say something else I was cut off because suddenly his lips were on mine. His hands were on my cheeks and mine were in his hair and we were desperate and angry as he pushed me back against the desk and I pushed the beanie from his head. The kiss was fierce and eager and when we separated I was breathless. He leaned his head forward so his forehead was touching mine and I closed my eyes as his hands moved to my waist. We rested for a moment, and my head was reeling as I caught my breath.

“It’s not true.” He started quietly, and I opened my eyes to see his staring into mine. “None of what I said is true.” I nodded, believing him.

“Okay.”

“We want you with us. I want you with me.” I pulled my head away from him to better see his face.

“Then why…” I trailed off but he knew what I meant. He shook his head quickly, his eyes clenched shut in self-disgust.

“I don’t know… I don’t know, Y/N. There was something about you. I guess… I knew I liked you from the beginning, but I didn’t know how to… God, I’m such an idiot.” He looked down, removing his hands from me and drawing them away, but I caught them in my own and pulled his lips back onto mine. This time the kiss was sweet, gentle and unsure. His lips were soft and tentative, as if he was afraid he would hurt me. It was a massive contrast from the passionate, angry Jughead who had kissed like he needed me to live.

“I don’t care. It’s okay.” I told him as I pulled away and he put his hands on my cheeks again. He spoke in a whisper,

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“You’re going to make up an entire year of insults? Yeah, good luck.” I taunted, and he grinned.

“Well to be fair, you insulted me back pretty harshly. In fact, some of what you said really hurt my feelings.” I laughed.

“Did it? Well then I guess we both have some making up to do.” 

As I pulled him in again, I didn’t know what would happen in the future. I knew we couldn’t just suddenly go from hating each other to whatever this was; I couldn’t ignore what had happened. I didn’t even know what I felt for Jughead. All I knew was how good his lips felt against mine, and that I felt something, and that I wasn’t going to let it go.


I’m sorry this is so long (and bad) 

Second Chances

Words: 10.1k

Genre: Fluff / Soulmate AU

Warnings: slight description of a panic attack, swearing

Description:  Soulmate AU in which you get to see colours when you kiss your soulmate. Dan has a particularity.

Read on AO3 / @florallylester made a moodboard for this and I’m crying


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4

You simply need to drop out of hyperspace between blockade and Boz Pity.


Sure Obi-Wan, what it is for Anakin to just simply drop out of hyperspace between blockade and planet. Who cares the timing must be perfect or otherwise everyone is going to die either thanks to CIS ships or planet’s mass shadow? No pressure at all.

4 AM

Characters: Y/N (reader), Jared Padalecki, Jason (OMC), Rose (OMC)

Pairing: Jason (OMC) x Reader, Jared x Reader

Warnings: Postpartum Depression, Depression, Anxiety attacks, Dickbag husband, Cheating (not Jared), Horrible childhood, Lousy In-Laws      

Word Count: 2000ish

A/N: This is my entry for @luci-in-trenchcoats 2K Follower Challenge where my prompt was: “You’re gonna tell me everything”

It is also 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: It Comes Back To You

Thanks so much to amazing sweet (yet slightly grumpy) @mysupernaturalfics for betaing angst for me.

You felt as if there was a hole inside of you. The hole was nothing new. It had been there for days, weeks, months, even the depths of it wasn’t new. You had felt the deep dark nothingness inside, that threatened to swallow you once before and it scared the crap out of you. The feeling of being completely and utterly alone had never been more profound though and this time you knew it was true.

You had been the poor girl in the neighborhood growing up. The girl that everyone felt sorry for because her mom was a drunk and her dad was never around. You had never wanted people’s pity. It had infuriated you. You didn’t want people to feel sorry for you. You wanted them to see past your circumstances and see you. You didn’t want them to only give you the time a day because they felt bad for the girl in the holed shoes and size too small clothes that came from a thrift store.

You had been very young when you had decided you never wanted people to feel sorry for you ever again. You wanted a different life for yourself. You wanted a life, a big house, a husband and kids. You wanted all the things you never had growing up and you had fought tooth and nail to get it.

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I can’t believe people are buying the pitiful “I loved her mom,” “I know” exchange between Abby and Clarke

1.) Abby never liked Lexa
2.) Abby REALLY never knew about Clarke and Lexa
3.) this is a ploy to get Clexa viewers back
4.) this is a fake apology for something they 100% knew was tropey, homophobic, and hurtful.
5.) Jason didn’t think Clexa deserved their “I love you’s” to each other, but he’s just fiiiiine with letting this slide because he’s desperate for viewers for this shitshow and is going to do shit like this probably throughout the season to string CL shippers along.

like, there’s a reason they threw this in there. it’s the first episode of a new season after the absolute disaster that was s3. Jason isn’t sorry for what he did. he never will be. he’s using this in attempts to make it LOOK like he’s sorry, while just stringing Clexa shippers along.

don’t buy this. love yourself. I promise you, it’s better that we leave this show behind. they aren’t sorry for what they did. they knew what they were doing. what they didn’t know was the repercussions that would come, so now they’re scrambling to make it look like it’s deeper and more meaningful than the dead lesbian trope they pulled.

Jason does not feel sorry. Jason does not respect us. if he really respected us, he wouldn’t have killed Lexa off the way he did. he wouldn’t have used us for ratings. and now he’s using Clexa for ratings again–don’t buy it.

Lexa is gone. she isn’t coming back. yes, she deserved better, but she isn’t going to get it from Jason. so do yourself a favor, because you deserve better too: don’t fall for it. don’t let yourself watch the shitshow if you know it’s not good for you. Lexa wouldn’t want that.