people are just gonna laugh i can see it i

8

Get to know me: [2/5] male characters: Handsome Jack
“You see this what I don’t get about you bad guys: you know the hero’s gonna win but you just don’t die quickly. Man, uh, example: this one guy in new haven, right? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, yada yada yada. this jackhole rushes me with a spoon, a fricking spoon, and I’m dying laughing, right? so I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it and his kids are all ‘waaaahhh’, he can’t see where hes going, hes bumping into stuff - anyway, I dunno, maybe you just had to be there, but the moral is: you’re a total bitch.

Full Script of Zayn’s Capital FM Interview

Thank you so much @noturhyna for the amazing work! Here’s the full script of Zayn’s interview on Capital FM earlier today. For everyone who missed it!

Interviewer: Joining us right now, and I couldn’t be more excited, is Zayn Malik. Good morning to you Zayn!

Zayn: Woot woot! Morning!

I: [laughing] Woot woot! Listen, let’s cut to the chase. Pillowtalk is one hell of a tune, you must be so proud of your work.

Z: Thank you very much. Yeah, I’m massive(?) excited. I’ve been working on it for just over a year, the whole record. And yeah, it’s turned out well. I’m really excited and obviously just a little bit nervous to see what the reaction is gonna be, but mainly excited. So I can’t wait to get it out and see what people have to say about it.

I: Zayn, listen, there was a statement about a year ago, and it was kind of a bold one coming from a man of your celebrity status and caliber, which is you were planning on living the life of a normal 22-year-old. I was just wondering, from a personal point of view, how you thought that went as an adventure?

Z: You know what, it worked out for about 2 weeks

Keep reading

Movie quotes starters
  • "It's good to be the king!"
  • "Mmmm, this is a tasty burger!"
  • "English, motherfucker, do you speak it?"
  • "I came here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum!"
  • "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."
  • "What's in the box?!"
  • "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
  • "I see dead people."
  • "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
  • "You talkin' to me?"
  • "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
  • "Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left."
  • "Just a flesh wound."
  • "They're all gonna laugh at you."
  • "You can be my wingman anytime."
  • "Nobody puts Baby in a corner."
  • "I'm too old for this shit."
  • "Inconceivable!"
  • "We came. We saw. We kicked its ass."
  • "What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!"
  • "Well, I'll tell you what. You make it through tomorrow without killing anybody, especially me, or yourself, then I'll start trusting you."
  • "You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
  • "Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?"
  • "You know, I think I do remember you now."
  • "I know what I have to do. It's us, or them..."
  • "I am very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused you. I am very, very sorry..."
  • "It's the saddest part of my day, leaving you."
  • "Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away."
  • "Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies."
  • "Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I have any interest in that at all?"
  • "Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true."
  • "We may be evolved, but deep down we are still animals."
  • "I came here to make the world a better place, but I think I broke it."

“You see, this is what I don’t get about you bad guys: You know the hero’s gonna win, but you don’t just die quickly. Example: This one guy in New Haven, right? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, yadda, yadda, yadda… This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, A FRICKIN’ SPOON! And I’m dying laughing, right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it and his kids are all, ‘WAAAAAAH!’ And-ahahaha… I can’t even… ahahahahah! He can’t see where he’s going, he’s bumping into stuff and… I dunno, maybe you had to be there. The moral is: you’re a total bitch.”

Handsome Jack- Borderlands 2

The people who have been following me since the beginning know how scared I am of snakes. Just seeing a picture of one can give me a panic attack. There has been a garden snake living in my yard. I saw it on Saturday. Well today i come home from work and my dads like “I got something to show you.” I’m like “It better not be a snake.” And he laughs. The snake got caught in the netting around the strawberries and he thought it was dead. I poked it with a broom and it moved. My dad was gonna let it die there and I said “get me scissors I’ll cut it out.” My dad and I just spent 20-25 minutes struggling to get the dumb ass out. It tried to gum us to death a few times but never got us. And  kept re tangling itself -___-. We got it free and it still had netting stuck on it so my dad pulled a as he called it “Crocodile hunter” move and held its head down with a stick and cut the netting off so now it’s gonna live. We’re both scared shitless of snakes. 

Moral of the story is, be a nice fucking person. 

Just because I don’t like something/someone doesn’t mean I can just walk past them while they are hurt. I would literally cry and have a melt down if someone put a snake near me. My dad runs from them. But here we were saving it’s life even though deep down we would of rather let it stay in the net.

I have a huge phobia of snakes But I still wanted to help it. GO ME!

the end. 

Jealous

Lucas watched intently from across the bar at the tall brunette moving her hips in line with someone else. She used to be his and he used to be hers, but life got in the way and the timing was never right. Now they’re twenty two and twenty one and they attend the same college and it drives him mad seeing her with anyone but him.

“Huckleberry?” the small blonde asks, tapping his hand. He looks to her and smiles. “Not that I’m opposed to jealous Lucas, but if you stare anymore you’re gonna burn holes.”

“Good,” he says, setting his beer on the counter. “I just can’t believe she’s here with Nathan Webber. Of all people and she knew that you and I come here for Tuesday night drinks!” he says exasperatedly. She laughs. They did, it was a tradition they started on Lucas’ twenty first birthday. Maya was older by just a few months but every Tuesday they would come to The Ungerground, have drinks, and catch up on their lives. They’d grown very close over the past few years, regardless of how Riley did or didn’t feel about Lucas.

But Riley was smart, she knew this was a tradition of theirs. Maya babbled about it sometimes during sleepovers. Riley was happy about the formed friendship between Lucas and Maya - but she was a bit jealous. Sure Maya and Lucas were nothing but friends, but Riley secretly wished she could keep his company again.

“You’re an idiot, Ranger Rick,” Maya chuckles.“She’s trying to make you jealous.”

“What? Why?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. If she was trying, she was doing a damn good job. His stomach churned when he looked at her never ending legs move swiftly with another guy - her hips in time with his. Her long hair flowed effortlessly and untamed down her back and he wonders for a moment if it still smells like jasmine and a hint of peppermint. He drove her crazy.

“Why exactly did you guys break up?” the blonde arches an eyebrow. “I know there was a lack of communication but…”

“We just couldn’t find a lot of time for each other. We didn’t try as hard as we should have an I ended up being the jerk about it in the end. She tried to -” he shutters. “It doesn’t matter, we just broke up. But.. I want to to talk to her.”

“Then do it, it’s not like you can’t.”

“Its just weird territory, Mi,” he groans, taking his SnapBack off and readjusting it on his head. “We haven’t really talked much since we broke up.”

“So? Nows your chance. Plus I’m four seconds away from ditching you to go talk to the cute boy at the end of the bar.” Lucas arches an eyebrow and they both look to the broad man who has Raven black hair and creamy brown skin.

“Isn’t that Zay?”

“Woah,” she blinks. “I guess I didn’t even realize. It’s been almost two years since we last saw him.”

“We should go say hi!” Lucas says, picking up his drink and taking another gulp, turning to walk.

“Oh no you don’t, cowboy,” she rolls her eyes, pulling him back by the hood of his jacket. “You’re going to stop Riley from grinding against that bag of rags, and I’m going to talk to Zay.” Lucas adjusts his hoodie and groans. “Suck it up puppy dog,” she says, before giving him an encouraging shove in the direction of Riley. Lucas glances back at Maya who’s already hopped on a stool and chatting away with Zay.

Lucas makes his way over to the couple and he can feel the envy growing under his skin, burning in his veins.

“Riley?” he clears his throat, standing awkwardly waiting for them to acknowledge his presence. They were pretty absorbed in each other. He watches Nathan slip his hands from her waist to her butt and that’s when he snaps. Scoffing, he steps forward. “Okay,” he mutters before moving the guy aside.

“Hey!” he exclaims and Riley turns around, startled. “Lucas,” she breathes, towered by the tall Texan. Flush against each other, Lucas’ eyes are clouded by something she can’t quite read. “W-what are you doing?”

“I couldn’t watch him touch you like that anymore,” he whispers low. “You’re mine,” he says possessively. Arching an eyebrow, she’s enthralled by his behavior. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t quite intrigued.

“I haven’t been yours for a while now, you made that clear,” she says, as his hands snake around her waist. Nathan is long gone by now and Riley’s nerves are set aflame, Lucas’ strong hands holding her close.

“I was stupid,” he says, leaning in. “A downright idiot. You drive me mad, Riley.”

“Do I?” she giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Where’s Maya?”

“You knew,” he narrows his eyes at her.

“Of course I knew.”

“So you were trying to make me jealous?”

“I don’t know,” she says, leaning to brush her lips against his. “Did it work?” His grip on her hips tightens as he pulls her as close as he can, his lips masking hers. “I missed you Lucas.”

“I missed you too, city girl,” he says, kissing her tenderly. Her arms wrap tighter around his neck and they find their all too familiar rhythm.

“You know,” she starts, when they pull apart.

“What do I know?” Their hips are in line and tuned to the music.

“You’re pretty sexy when you’re jealous.”

He dramatically scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Ugh! Of Webber?? I was not jealous…”

“Uh huh whatever helps you sleep at night cowboy.”

Argh, this is so frustrating! See, this is what I don’t get about you bad guys. You know the hero’s gonna win, but you just don’t die quickly– example, this one guy in New Haven, right? City’s burning, people are dying left and right, blah blah blah. This jack-hole rushes me with a spoon. A fricking spoon! And I’m dying laughing right? So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it, and his kids are all, ‘waahh!,’ and he can’t see where he’s going he’s bumping into stuff, and ah… I don’t know maybe you had to be there. The moral is: you’re a bitch.
—  Handsome Jack
Dystopian!Jungkook

Before I start this, I just wanna say thank you for 2,100 followers!!! It’s honestly still sinking in but thank you with all of my lil heart! So, someone requested a dystopian AU with kook and I am here to deliver that, here is our lovable lil maknae with a lil bunny smile, Jeon Jungkook aka kookie aka can we talk about kooks laugh bc it’s fucking adorable !! like have you ever heard kook laugh it’s precious and cute and wow and it just fits him ?? like you know how some laughs just f i t people his does that and it’s so endearing I love hearing him laugh bc it means he’s happy and that’s what I need to see

  • I’m just gonna paint a picture for you real quick so you have an idea on what’s happening
  • Jungkook is like a police officer
  • Does everyone remember dope that’s dystopian!kook straight up
  • Like the hair the outfit the same confident attitude
  • We all know how ni cE kook gets when he’s all serious just picture that
  • He’d be v v highly ranked, highly trusted and highly adored amongst his coworkers
  • He would be the one they go to for the more dangerous jobs, the ones that needed thought and perfect execution bc they knew he could handle it
  • He was one of the best tbh
  • Kook is a smart kid, he’d know how to play a role
  • You are part of the resistance
  • It had been your great grandparents who’d decided to rebel against the system, along with a few friends
  • As the years went on, the group became bigger and bigger
  • You were all given a choice when you got to a certain age
  • You could stay, even though it might be dangerous, it wasn’t too uncommon for your group to be in and out of jail
  • Or you could leave and go onto the other side of town but that typically meant they’d ask for any ties with your family to be cut (to make sure there weren’t any spies)
  • You believed in your group’s cause so you chose to stay with your family and friends
  • The officers decide it’s time to see if they can put an end to the whole resistance thing, maybe strike a truce even
  • They send Jungkook in as an undercover spy type of deal
  • He’s the best when it comes to spying
  • He’s smart enough to keep up with his backstory, he’s quick to think of excuses if there’s a plot hole and he just overall does a great job with it
  • The first day he shows up there, he’s almost immediately pinned down by some of your fighters
  • Everyone in your group knows Jungkook very well, seeing as he’s personally arrested half of them
  • Your father is the closest thing to a leader your group has so they’re quick to take kook to him to find out what he wants them to do
  • Kook explains that he’s quit and come to join the resistance
  • Everyone’s a bit ??? about it all but they can’t turn down having someone which all of the knowledge that Jungkook has
  • If he’s telling the truth (which he isn’t) he could be a great help to them so they kinda have to keep him around
  • Your group has a buddy system just to keep everyone safe
  • Your father assigns Jungkook to you, since you’re the one your father trusts the most
  • Tbh kook doesn’t know much about what your group is fighting
  • His father was the chief of police when he was growing up, as was his grandfather
  • He’d grown up around grumbles of the “damn resistance” but he never knew exactly what they were resisting
  • When he’d come of age, it was expected of him to become a chief the same way the two previous Jeon generations had
  • He did exactly that and just followed the orders he was given bc that’s what he was taught to do
  • He plays his part for a few weeks, even gaining the trust of some people
  • You were still a bit skeptical but you did have to admit kook wasn’t the hardest person to be around
  • He was funny and goofy when he got rid of the uniform and badge
  • He was maybe, just maybe, kinda really fucking cute and nice and he always found a way to make you laugh, even if he didn’t intend to
  • Somewhere along the lines, he drops the act and starts developing a crush??
  • How did that happen he doesn’t know one second he’s digging for information and the next he’s running around town with you in the middle of the night, laughing louder than he ever has
  • He doesn’t know exactly when or why but he somehow finds himself giving you a goodnight kiss one night
  • That crush soon turns into love and he starts forgetting to write letters back to the other officers about the info he’s found out
  • During a late night out, he confesses to you that he has no idea why there is even a resistance to begin with
  • You explain what you’re fighting for, why you all choose to stand your ground instead of giving in
  • He finds himself agreeing with a lot of what you say??
  • He decides to officially switch over to the resistance bc a lot of what you say makes sense
  • One of your fighters finds Jungkook writing a letter to the other officers about how he’s quitting and will no longer be supplying them with information
  • The normally quick to think of an excuse Jungkook just has one word run through his mind when he sees the woman grab the letter from his hands
  • “Shit”
  • You of course find out that same night and decide to not return to your shared apartment, to him
  • It was kinda like a stab to the heart tbh
  • You remembered all of the times you’d defended Jungkook’s trustworthiness, willing to bet anything that he was being genuine, only to find out he hadn’t been at all
  • Of course it makes you wonder what else was fake
  • Was the ring he’d given you a few months in as a promise ring real?? Did it mean anything to him?? All of those late nights of pillow talks, of confessions ??
  • He knows the second the woman runs out of the room you’re not gonna be coming home
  • He’s quick to climb up onto the roof of a local building, a place you’d told him was your hiding spot when you just wanted to be alone
  • Normally kook would understand if you needed to be alone but he didn’t want that anger to boil over, for you to form the wrong thoughts about him without hearing his side
  • You’re of course sat on top of the roof, looking up at the stars and fiddling with the ring
  • He’s quick to explain that the act had been dropped long ago and that he’d stopped sending letters two months in, around the same time he started falling in love with you
  • He’s also v v quick to reassure you that your relationship had all been real, that he had meant every word he’d said to you
  • You know deep down he’s telling the truth and that he truly was ready to switch sides but it still just kinda stings
  • It takes you a while to forgive him but he’s patient
  • After he proves to you that he really was completely trustworthy, that he was on your side, you two slowly return to normal
  • It isn’t a quick process but it’s a necessary process
  • You two just stick by each other and support each other and it’s all love

Eisuke Ichinomiya has two types of Fans:

  • Those who hate him with a burning and undying passion, and want to murder him in his sleep and think they can run the hotel/auctions better than he can, or just want to steal his money
  • And those who would give up a leg, hand, and arm probably just to get him to spit on them hug them

You either hate Eisuke Ichinomiya or you think he’s a Sex God, there is no in between

anonymous asked:

there are some ppl hating on Jared saying he's a Princess. While I'm angry w/ those idiots, I can help but laugh. Jared is no princess, that man is a queen! Give me all the queen Jared!! ❤ (i noticed u love feminine!J too so i wanted to share) lol

Anon #2:  I love that you’re a bottom!Jared tinhat.


______________________________________________________________

(Just gonna group these questions together, seeing as they’re kind of similar.)


To Anon #1: Really? I haven’t seen anything. Some people are whack, and if they’re going to call him something, at least call him by him by what he has even called himself in the past, QUEEN.

To Anon #2: Lol, I’m not even a bottom!Jared tinhat on purpose. The fact’s and evidence were thrown in my face, and I couldn’t deny what I was seeing.

Xoxo

- K

colorfulwatcher  asked:

Z.A.M.

I somehow didn’t see this in my askbox before but thanks for the ask!

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! - Idk what to talk about, so I’mma go with two things that are on my mind very often. You see, I ship a handful of ‘problematic’ things, and idk, at some point I just wondered why posts laughing about ships like that have to exist when really, one ship a person has is always gonna be problematic to another person in this world and we can’t do a thing about it. 

The other thing that’s on my mind is Arc V Kaito. I get that a lot of people do not like ZEXAL, but the amount of negativity Arc V Kaito gets on places like NAC is really disturbing at times, especially because I don’t really get how the handling of certain other characters with similar roles was any better aside from being more popular than Kaito. I suppose it has to do with NAC. But then again I wonder why NAC and tumblr are so different in terms of preferences?


A - Ships that you currently like a lot. - Definitely Kairyo. Kairyo is really, really nice for reasons I’ve mentioned so often that people will probably kill me if I mention them again. Aside from that, Sharkbait is always my thing and lately I’ve had some interest in platonic Kaiyuu. Oh, and! Regicide. The snark is amazing.


M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend - I’m… not quite sure. I wanna say Ryouga but he’d piss me off 24/7. Likewise, if I said Kaito, Kaito would piss me off. So I’mma go with Yuuma? Yuuma is really nice.