people are hard to draw man

fat bodies tutorial!

ALRIGHT SO my pal @kalreyno wanted help with drawing fat characters and as a fat artist i felt like i could give a bit of helpful insight on that. there’s also been a lot of complaining about “boo hoo fat characters are hard to draw so i can’t include them in my work Ever” goin on lately so if that’s your case then this is for you too!! and also just for anyone who would like help with fat bodies in general, ofc. anyway, let’s get this show on the road!!

let’s start with some common misconceptions. these are the two main attempts at chubby bodies i run into, so i’ll focus on them. 

the Anime Chubby i see everywhere, and it’s just……so wrong in many ways. first of all, there is almost no additional body fat compared to your average thin character - except for where it’s added in “attractive” places (breasts, hips, thighs). the breasts are way too perky, and don’t have the realistic shape fat would give them (though how to draw accurate breasts is another tutorial all on its own lmao). there is still a thigh gap, which usually only happens in very thin people, and bones are still visible on the surface of the skin, which also rarely happens in fat people.

the Michelin Man is better in some ways, but still not that great. it’s a slightly better attempt, but basically all that’s done there is taking a thin character and blowing them up, while giving no thought to fat distribution. the thigh gap is usually still present, and they look a lot more hard than soft - and fat is very soft and pliable.

here’s a chart on how fat usually distributes (if you can’t read my messy writing, “1. next to no fat, 2. moderate amount, 3. most of the fat distribution”). basically, the more muscle an area has, the more prone it is to develop fat, such as the abdomen, thighs, and upper arms. it’s important to note that fat sits on top of muscle, and that it does distribute in different levels, and not evenly across the body as shown in the Michelin Man. 

now, here’s an accurate fat body with all of that kept in mind!! notice how the fat isn’t only kept to aesthetically pleasing areas, and how it sits realistically on the character’s body. their breasts sag a lot more, which happens even in thin people with larger breasts, and the nipples are pointing more downwards than straight out. there is no thigh gap in sight, there are no bones in sight, and most importantly, they have fat rolls, which are very important in drawing a convincing fat character!! as far as i know i’ve never met a single person with no rolls at all, and everyone has them, whether thin or fat - they’re just more prominent and more consistently present in fat people. pay close attention to where they are and how they’re shaped.

here are a couple of drawings showing how fat is affected when sitting vs stretching. as seen in the first, the fat specifically on the stomach is distributed a lot more evenly and stretched out, so it becomes “flatter”. the love handles are still pretty visible, though, as well as the fat on the thighs and arms. the breasts are raised with the shoulders, and the fat on the shoulders and near the neck forms rolls as it’s being pushed together. 

in the second, there is a lot less room for distribution, so the fat is all pushed together. the breasts sag and the stomach forms rolls and spills into the lap. a good analogy for the way fat works is to liken it to a water balloon, and thinking of how its shape would change when resting flat on a surface, hanging off of a ledge, held upright, etc.

here are a few extra tips i find a lot of people miss!

first on the top is the hip/pubic region. the first circle is showing the way the bellybutton is folded in fat people, as opposed to stretched out in thinner people. the second is the stomach fat spilling over onto the pubic region and creating a separation in the two areas, which is something that’s missing in a lot of art. in addition, the pubic mound also gains fat, making it round as seen in the profile drawing i did up there (i’ve heard people refer to it as fupa?). the last in the hip region is the lack of a thigh gap. i can’t stress this enough!!!! if you’re trying to draw a convincing fat character, make sure their thighs are pretty much always touching!! for reference, mine literally don’t separate until my feet are about 2ft from each other.

the bottom right is showing the double chin, which a lot of people are afraid to draw!! fat does distribute itself here too, and there’s nothing wrong with it, so don’t feel like you shouldn’t give fat characters a double chin in your work for fear of it looking like a caricature.

in the bottom middle, it’s showing how fat affects different types of breasts with the presence of more or less breast tissue. 

lastly, at the very right are stretch marks with their usual locations and directions, which i also can’t stress enough!!!!! i sometimes forget to add them honestly, but they’re so important in accurately portraying fat characters, as they literally come from the skin being stretched from fat being gained (and they’re also just rlly neat lookin like why wouldn’t you lmao). some people have less and some people have more, feel free to experiment with them!

the last thing is body types!! there isn’t one single way for a person to be fat, so feel free to experiment with shapes once you’ve learned the basics!! 

so there you have it, a tutorial on how to draw chubs!! now go forth and make some accurate fanart or some rad fat characters, because the world could always use more of both. hmu if you have any questions or concerns, and thanks for reading!!

EDIT: someone pointed out the bad wording in the tutorial. thank you for bringing it to my attention and sorry for offending anybody. i’ve updated the tut, so please reblog this one!

Backgrounds are hard

Space orcs Morning People vs Non-Morning People

I’m laughing so hard right now because I’m imagining a crew having two humans and one of them is most definitely NOT a morning person.

Person A stumbles out looking a hot mess and ready to stab anyone who pisses them off in the slightest. Then there’s Person B cheery as fuck and laughing at the skittish aliens who are freaking out because, “are they going to attack us!? Are they sick?? What is going on!?” And Person B is just like, “nah man their just not a morning person!” And person A just growls at them to, “Shut the Fuck up or I will stab you in the liver you overly cheery asshole.”

BEING A GENTLEMAN IS A CHOICE

Being a gentleman isn’t a pompous attitude or expensive clothes. Nor is it suave talk and standing tall. It’s the best mix of your character, treating others well, and presenting yourself as a man others want to follow. This is the essence of how to be a gentleman.


Chivalry isn’t dead

It may seem like it, so you’ll need to revive it.
This not only applies to the lady in your life, but other people you meet as well. Going out of your way to treat people well is important. Carrying yourself in an accommodating a “serving” way is rare, valuable, and will make you stand out.
Here’s what you can do: Open the door for people. Holding the door open for an old lady or a young man still makes you stand out as a gentleman. Go out of your way to be considerate of people.

Talk gooder

Being a gentleman is more than cleaning up the cursing, but sounding intelligent without coming off as arrogant. We each have our own unique style and personal vernacular. But improving and expanding your vocabulary will make you into a better communicator. The ability to paint elaborate pictures in your acquaintance’s minds is a sought after trait.
Find what you’re willing to die for
Don’t go through life living only for today or tomorrow. Find an aim bigger than money. Seek out a purpose, and run hard after it. I find that people that I respect as gentlemen have something to live for.

Improve your recognition of social cues

Whether or not you’re a social butterfly doesn’t mean you can’t improve. People that are extremely introverted sometimes need to take pause and read social cues. Am I stepping on anyones toes or making people feel left out? Do I move from one person/group to another so fast people think my substance is paper thin?
If you’re of the more chill temperament, it doesn’t mean you can’t grow. My name, Todd, in Middle English (spoken about 1,000 years ago) means “the watcher”, “watchful one”, or the “fox”. I actually consider myself by nature a more reserved person. But by observing other’s social cues, I’ve been able to pick up on how to interact with a wide array of people. Most people upon first meeting me would think I’m pretty extroverted, whereas I’m pretty introverted to the core.
People who are awkward or come off as rude have one core problem in my mind. And it’s not that they aren’t able to be cool people. It’s that they think of themselves and are absorbed in their own world so much they don’t listen and pay attention to people’s words and body language. Learning what people mean by more than what they say will help you go further in your friendships and professionally.


Be Quick to Forgive

A man who is slow to forgive is…well, less of a man. Be quick to show mercy. Give people grace for mistakes. Be understanding. Show compassion. Don’t have a heavy hand with your kids or other family members.

Say “No” more

People respect someone who knows what they want—and what they don’t. Saying “no” makes your “yes” mean so much more.
If you haven’t learned to say “No”, you might be living as a Yes Man. Who wants to be that guy? Especially when you are so overcommitting yourself you’re known as a flake. If you find yourself saying “yes” to overextending yourself, it’s time to summon the will to say “no”.

Saying “Yes” more

If you’re afraid of commitment, it’s time to take the dive and start giving more of yourself to people. Whether that’s saying “yes” to helping a friend move, just getting out more, spending more time with friends, or gaining different experiences, it might be time to step out into the wild a little more.

Say “Hello” more

We admire people who exude confidence and aren’t afraid to reach out and connect with people. Saying “hello” to a stranger you rub shoulders with on the train, in an office, or at the grocery store is a great way to increase your social skills—and meet new people.
Have you ever wanted to introduce yourself to a cute girl in the most random of places? If you’re not in the rhythm of shooting from the hip and building rapport with random strangers, it’s gonna be hard to summon that off-the-cuff confidence to get talkative with a hot stranger.
Practice saying “hello” and showing yourself friendly. You’ll be surprised by some of the cool people you’ll meet along the way.

Travel more and expand your experiences

Expanding your experiences and where you’ve been gives you great stories as you grow being a gentleman. Growing more cultured widens you’re understanding of the world–and others–and helps you to be less assuming or quick to judge.
And it’s always nice to tell people about that one time you jumped off a moving train in India.


Speak Well of Others

When learning how to be a gentleman, it’s less about “me” or “I”. It’s about others. Them. Carrying yourself in a way that esteems others will earn you esteem.
Want to stand out? Speak well of others in their presence, and away from them as well. People will take note. The man who can give specific and exacting praise is worthy of receiving it himself.
Talk about their interests, not yours

Again, learning how to be a gentleman is about others. Growing your listening skills is paramount to being regarded as a gentleman. But learning to ask great questions that draw a person out of their shell is important as well.

Tell stories with a point

Everyone loves a good story teller. And just because I suggest you guide conversation by asking people about them, rather than talking about you, doesn’t mean you should be a hard nut to crack.
People love good stories that share some adventure, and insight about who you are. Know what stories about yourself people are most interested in. When telling a story, remember that you’re not telling your life story. Share stories that have a point and an end.
Have you ever felt trapped in a conversation with someone telling a story that really wasn’t a story? They weren’t actually even talking with you, they were talking at you? That’s a person telling a story with no point or purpose. I’m guilty of this. And I sometimes wonder if we do it for our own catharsis–to process aloud with someone in the hopes of “feeling better”. It’s cool to do that with your therapist or close friend, but don’t use the random stranger at a party to have a cathartic moment. Be a gentleman!


Stand up straight

Now onto how to be a gentleman in how you carry yourself. No man wants to be regarded as a slouch. Standing up firm and strong isn’t just good for your health, but good for your confidence. There really is a physical/mental connection with posture. And people can see it. A person cowering or hunched is viewed as weak. A man who stands tall is regarded as having confidence.
Pay attention to your posture, and stand up straight.


Wash your clothes

Back in poor days of living in a dorm, I ran across an expert in the laundry room who had sage wisdom for me. He let me in on how to cut my laundry coin usage in half:
“You don’t need to wash your clothes, just put them in the dryer with a dryer sheet. I mean, when I take them out they smell just as clean as when I wash them as when I don’t.”
And I don’t remember who that charming young lad was. Nor do I remember anyone thinking he was the sharpest dressing gentleman out there either.
Gross. Wash your clothes. Clean stains–including the collar of your neck. And iron those shirts man! Be a gentleman!


Get a grown-up email address

Wildstallion1999@hotmail.com isn’t the way to present yourself when applying for a job. It’s also not the most savvy way to interact with new friends.  Being sharp and looking on your game sometimes takes putting away some childish things. Go ahead and keep your fave teenage email address, but for those people you’re aiming to be a gentleman around, keep it classy.


Make a man out of your online social imprint

A man’s online social profile reaches far and wide. When potential employers want to know more about you, do not doubt that it’s likely they’ll look you up on your favorite social network. Having a goofy profile picture with your family is great. But looking like a drunken sailor or a Jersey-licious club rat won’t score you extra points with the classy young lady you want to pursue, or those that you want to recognize you as being a gentleman.


Give your word and keep it

Being a gentleman requires your yes meaning yes, and your no being no. When you tell someone you’re going to do something–do it. Even when it costs you.
Improve your penmanship

I’m an absolute hypocrite on this point. My handwriting has not changed since 6th grade. Considering I barely handwrite anymore, considering all the tech we use, my scribbles are probably in severe decline. It is so bad more than once I’ve asked an assistant to handwrite a post-it note to the president of my organization so I wouldn’t have to hand him something illegible.
Thinking about it still makes me smirk today but probably isn’t the most gentlemanly practice.


Mind Your Manners

I’m not the most savvy when it comes to perfect etiquette. What side of your plate does the big fork go on? How do I tie a cummerbund? How do you impress really old rich people??
What I do try to pay attention to is being accommodating. If you’re with people you’re familiar with, be warm to the new persons and make them feel included. Are you around a new group of people? Don’t pull out your latest gag routine. Keep things simple until you’ve figured out the the personalized subculture of the group you are hanging with. Find out what’s important to them, what behavior is appropriate to the situation, and present yourself in the best light.
I hope it’d be needless to say, but belching in front of ladies you want to show respect rarely garners you some.
Using words like “Excuse me” and “Thank you” go a long way. Ask before taking. And instead of ordering someone to do something, ask them if they’ll do you a favor.
On a note that I’m sure any restaurant servers out there will appreciate, showing kindness to those in any service industry will distinguish you. But don’t do it to be distinguished. Show kindness and patience to those making your coffee, serving your food, installing your cable, or fixing your car.


Nix the my way or the highway attitude

People who are adamant and demanding they get their way almost always sound like alpha-douches. Or large babies. Instead of being pushy and consistently trying to get what you want, concede to what others want.
Nothing spoils chilling with a group of people more than the whiner who’s only going to be happy if the crowd does what they want. If that’s ever been you, take note. I guarantee people remember that moment you had to have your way.


Mind the details

It’s easy for any of us to be forgetful. And it’s easy to forgive ourselves when we are. When others are forgetful? We’re not so merciful. Show others you care by remembering not only the big things–but the little things. Doing this at your workplace as well will only help your touted reputation as knowing how to be a gentleman.


Give gifts

If you’re chief love language isn’t giving of gifts and connecting with people through acts of service, it will take repeated mental note-taking to give more effort in this area.
But few things shout “gentleman” more than a thoughtful note or gift to a lady love or friend. Whether it’s a special occasion or they need a pick-me-up. Don’t neglect to think about your bros too. If a buddy is down, make sure to be there to cheer them up. You can get them some gentleman gifts as well.


Being a Gentleman

This is only the beginning on our path to being a gentleman.
Improving yourself doesn’t happen overnight. As we’re already a couple of months into 2017, have you probably decided on any areas you want to focus and improve on this year?
It’s a great aim to look better, talk well, and dress sharper. But making yourself into a better man is more than just improving the physical details. It’s about cultivating your core. Find what you’re passionate about, and run after it. Find who you want to become, and chase it. Find out where in your character you’re deficient, and work on it. Let’s face our fears and grow into better men this year. Not everyone can be a hero, but everyone can be a gentleman. It’s a choice.

i don’t usually make things about ships on this blog, despite the fact gryles is the blood in my veins, but i decided since this blog isn’t actually a daily news blog, or an update blog for nick, it’s just a blog that is only all about nick so i can post what i want. so here’s forty-two (42) gryles fics you should read.


picked undone, and again by biggerthanthesun
words: 37,389 / side: daisy/harry

“I need you to know that I… I want you all the time. Me wanting you and us doing this,” Nick says. “We’ve been weirdly steady for two people who aren’t even dating and I still want you more than ever, you know? I’m not even tired of it, I’m not even tired of you. You’re like a constant thing for me, I’m afraid I’m a bit mad about you.”

The one where they’re not boyfriends. Where Nick’s mad for Harry. And Harry was mad for Nick. Until he wasn’t anymore. (Canon-compliant).

at the gates by ymorton
words: 33,707 / side: omc/omc

“I feel I already know you,” he says, laughing.

Harry looks at him, surprised. Nick feels it too?

(gryles, reincarnated)

Keep reading

Understanding NHL play-by-play announcers: a Masterpost

D to D: not a gay porn thing, defensemen to defensemen

Fans on it: when a player completely misses the puck, which is usually right in front of them. when this happens point and laugh.

Dropping the shoulder: refers to someone throwing a clean hit, if the shoulder is dropped that means they’re aiming away from the head. 

Sends it deep: also not a gay porn thing, refers to someone trying to clear the puck out of their zone, usually happens during a power play

pass cut: someone was being stupid and decided to pass to a guy and didn’t notice the 6 foot + grown man RIGHT IN THEIR WAY.

The slot: a place on the ice right in front of the net where people score a lot. if the other team ends up in yours, just start crying.

a couple of finns: no fish are on the ice, just people from finland

The draw/drop: a faceoff

[blank] is riding him hard: defending him closely, very possibly a gay porn thing

good look: has surprisingly little to do with the eyes, basically a good shot

tape to tape: a clean pass, refers to the tape on the stick blade.

where momma hides the cookies: reference to the top shelf, as in the puck goes into the net high. sometimes they’re gluten free cookies.

tumbling muffin: Boston Bruins announcer Jack Edwards loves these, they probably sell them at Dunkin Donuts. Or David Krejci saved the bruins asses again and sent the puck own the ice. either way. mostly a boston thing.

blue-bird130  asked:

Recently I've been having confidence issue about my art. I don't want to draw because I think I can't do anything good. Do you have any tips for boosting confidence?

We all learn from 0 man! You think I was born with the ability to instantly draw amazing art? Wh-What do I look like, an Asian?

I didn’t know how to draw a DOG when I first started, I just knew I wanted to learn to draw. And non-stop practicing  looked like the right way to achieve that.

A lot of people tend to compare their art to someone who is “better” than them and get discouraged from it. I used to do the same and found it really hard sometimes to grab inspiration.

But I started using that as a form of inspiration, whenever you look at some outstanding artwork you gotta look at it and think “I’ll get there someday” “I CAN get there” and have that goal in your mind, and I can confirm you 100% that it is true, there are so many people and artists that I looked up to 5 years ago, and I loved their work, I still do. And nowadays people compare ME to them, which is absolutely insane. 

I know it sounds cliche but, don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do. Because… there were SO many people telling me my art was cringe, that it waas bad, that I should quit, that I should do something else. But… whenever someone tells me that I can’t do something, that just gives me more reasons to prove them wrong. 

Everyone has the potential to be a great artist, be happy with yourself, everyone’s got their own unique and fantastic style. 

You just have to stay determined ♥

Game Grumps Ask Meme
  • Put that in, Barry!: What's your strangest habit?
  • Mycaruba: What's a word you always tend to misspell?
  • Mike Aruba: What are your favorite names?
  • My Car, Roomba: What kind of car do you drive? ((If you don't drive, what kind of car do you want to drive?))
  • Yes, Mr. President: What political party do you tend to lean towards?
  • Wolfjob: Do you laugh at immature jokes?
  • MARK ZUCKERBERG: What's your favorite social media site?
  • MOTHERFUCKING JESSE EISENBERG: What's the most trivial thing you've ever gotten angry about?
  • Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped: Which of the grumps would you fight? ((Arin, Danny, Ross, Suzy, Brian, Barry, Kevin))
  • The D Club: Have you ever been in any clubs/extracurricular groups?
  • Sexy Widdle Baby: What's the most interesting/weirdest nickname you've ever been given?
  • Knurttt: Do you play the Pokemon games? ((If yes, what's your favorite and least favorite game in the main series?))
  • Get the gems, Bentley Bear!: Do you collect anything?
  • We're playing the Feud!: What's your favorite game show?
  • Lose a Turn: How do you react to losing?
  • Batanrangs: What would be your weapon of choice if you had to fight someone?
  • A gentle handy: What's your weirdest talent?
  • NYEH HEH HEH: Can you do any interesting voices/impressions?
  • Hayley Westenra: What music do you listen to when you're trying to relax and unwind?
  • ARIN WINS: Are you competitive?
  • DANNY WINS: What game are you best at?
  • SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN: What is a language you don't currently know that you'd like to learn?
  • Just use Knuckles: Do you like to exploit game glitches?
  • Can't stop, won't stop: What food could you never give up?
  • You say tomato, I say "What are you doing in my house?": Do you have company over often?
  • Actually, it's pronounced _____: Do you intentionally pronounce things wrong?
  • HELENA!!!: Has anyone ever tried to befriend you, but you really don't like them?
  • Hard, Man: What was/is your most challenging subject in school?
  • Ash Man: Are you good at remembering peoples' names?
  • A fine day for mayoring: Do you like being in positions of leadership?
  • The fuck-it adjustment: Do you tend to give up or leave projects unfinished?
  • Come, come my lady: What's the cheesiest pick-up line you know?
  • Pokey Little Flab Biscuit: What are some silly insults you tend to use?
  • Ringo Starr Art: What's your favorite art style? ((It doesn't have to be something you can draw.))
  • WHAT HAPPENED: What confuses you?
  • WHAT IS THIS?: What riles you up?
  • That's some Snow White shit right there: What's something you believed as a kid that you later found out was untrue?
  • IT'S A PUMBLOOM: If you could have any wild animal as a pet, what would you choose?
  • SANIC DA HORDGEHEG: Do you like any games that others usually think are bad?
  • Rigged as shit: Have you ever been treated unfairly for something completely arbitrary?
  • PACKED with peanuts: Do you have any allergies?
  • Dinkles: What sort of clique or stereotype did you fit in middle school/high school?

Writing this prompt for reigingheart22, who wanted a Winteriron Bachelor! AU with slightly intimidating Bachelor!Bucky with a confused and intimidated Tony, who didn’t sign up to be a contestant, but Bucky sees him in the crew and decides he likes him. Sorry if it’s a little different than what you wanted, hope you like it!

Also, as a side note, I have no idea what Bucky’s company does, or why he has the money and fame to be the next Bachelor, but oh well. He’s ex-army and suffers from PTSD, but it’s not public knowledge. So, that’s why he’s a little intimidating. Had to add a little drama.

Keep reading

This can be considered the “Friendly Nomu Good end” 
Izuku managed to search people with quirks to help his nomu friend (Yeah, more than one, no one could fix him with only one touch, and no much could be changed, his appearance is most normal, but his mind is still a mess) 

I originally wanted a hybrid between his original form and a humanoid one, but ehh, it looks human. (My mistake? but I still I liked this concept)

He still doesn’t talk that much, maybe one word or another. 

is more easy to talk to him with questions that end in “Yes” or “No”.

He gets confused easily and has a short attention span unless he is given an instruction or is in battle, he doesn’t stop unless the enemy stops moving so… is still dangerous. 

he knows how to follow instructions but he only follows Midoriya Instructions, unless he is asked to follow another person (Thing that he is going to do for a while, then turn back and search for midoriya because other people is boring and don't trust to leave midoriya alone)

Nomu is renamed “Norio”, That means “Man of principles” Izuku gave him that name in hope of a good omen for Nomu and a good new start. 

Izuku hopes Norio follow all might steps.

Norio is not really fond of All might but he doesn’t hate him neither, he just understands that All might is good and that he should try to imitate him. but he doesn’t share Izuku admiration for him. 

19 Reasons the New Spider-Man Movie Will Be Unlike Anything You've Seen Before

Like many other superhero movie fans out there, I suffer from a serious, life-altering condition known as Spider-Man Fatigue (SMF). I’m a fan of the early-2000s franchise starring Tobey Maguire, and I willingly sat through Andrew Garfield’s take on Peter Parker in 2012 and 2014. But when I heard Marvel and Sony had combined forces to tell a new version of the young web-slinger’s story for a third time, I audibly groaned. Another one? Seriously? Then, I saw Captain America: Civil War. This Spider-Man, played by 20-year-old British rising star Tom Holland, is only in the movie briefly but seems immediately lighter and funnier; he meshes perfectly with Tony Stark and the rest of the gang. Could it be? Could Marvel have finally found a way to stop my skeptical eyes from rolling at each mention of a new installment to his story?

To figure out, once and for all, whether I’d be able to enjoy a sixth Spider-Man movie, I flew down to Marvel’s Pinewood Studios in Atlanta, where the team behind Spider-Man: Homecoming filled me and a group of other journalists in on what’s in store for Peter Parker this time around. We arrived on production day 46 of 74 and were treated to tours of a few sets - including a massive portion of the Washington Monument that Peter climbs and a full-size (but still partial) replica of the Staten Island Ferry designed to split in two for a fight scene - and an enlightening conversation with Eric Carroll. The coproducer and director of development for Marvel explained to us the basic story of the film and what Homecoming is trying to achieve with this iteration; chiefly, they want it to feel fresh and new while still going back to basics in terms of Peter’s story.

Later on that day we got a better idea of just how basic Carroll meant, when we watched Michael Keaton and Holland film a scene in an old, empty warehouse, where Peter Parker confronts the Vulture dressed in a very, very basic version of his suit (which you can see above). After chatting with Keaton, Holland, Carroll, director Jon Watts, and more members of the production team who’ve helped bring this movie to life, I can confirm that any fellow sufferer of SMF needs not fear: Spider-Man: Homecoming is going to leave us all with our jaws on the floor.

Related
Everything You Need to Know About Spider-Man: Homecoming

  1. This will be the youngest Peter Parker yet. At just 15 years old, Marvel has given us a glimpse at Peter in all of his awkward, nerdy, angsty glory. As we saw in Civil War, he’s not only figuring out the limits of his powers, but also learning how to balance his life as a student and friend, as well as a superhero. “[It’s] the whole aspect of keeping him grounded and making sure the audience sees a kid as a superhero,” Holland explained. “Because we’ve seen the sort of Norse god, we’ve seen the billionaire, we’ve seen the soldier, now we get to see the kid. And one of the most important themes of the movie is, what would a 15-year-old boy do with superpowers? So, sort of opening act to the movie, you see Peter really trying to discover who he is, what he can do, which is something I feel like we haven’t really explored massively in the previous movies - is seeing Peter make mistakes and try and rectify them and try and learn exactly what he can do.”
  1. They’re staying true to his Queens, NY, roots. If you hear “Spider-Man” and immediately conjure images of him slinging his way around Manhattan’s tallest skyscrapers, think again. “If you think of New York, you always think of Manhattan, so it’s a very conscious tonal choice to say he is not in Manhattan,” production designer Oliver Scholl told us. “Manhattan is always across the river, it’s where he aspires to be. That’s where the Avengers’ tower is - across the river looming in the sunset. But he’s not there yet.”
  2. So, no skyscrapers for Peter? This Spider-Man is still unsure of his powers and therefore isn’t keen on jumping off 40-story buildings. “Spider-Man starting out - he’s not irrationally afraid of heights, but he has the fear of heights that all well-balanced people do,” Carroll said. “So he’s going to work up to becoming the Spider-Man we know he will someday. But we will not see him swing down Fifth Avenue in this movie. We will not see him 40 stories off the ground acting like that is not the most terrifying thing he will do that day.” Luckily he’ll be much more at home in the low-rises in Queens.
  3. Aunt May is getting a face lift. Following in the footsteps of Rosemary Harris and Sally Field, Marisa Tomei is the next Aunt May. She won’t be wearing a white wig or sitting for hours in the makeup chair to make her look older, though; this Aunt May is “more of a big sister” figure to Peter, who encourages him to go out and be social.
  4. Uncle Ben will be basically nonexistent. Although Holland kept information about Uncle Ben’s role in this Peter’s story under wraps, Carroll confirmed that the character will be alluded to at best. Here’s hoping we never have to see Uncle Ben bleed out on a sidewalk somewhere ever again, right?
  5. The Avengers are responsible for creating the Vulture. Remember all of that talk about how superheroes are never held accountable for all of the destruction their giant battles cause? Well, Keaton’s Adrian Toomes (aka the Vulture) is a direct side effect of The Battle of New York. Toomes owns a salvage company, which is hired to clean up the Avengers’ damage around Stark Tower. He’s elated over scoring such a big contract, only to be told another company - called “Damage Control” - is handling the job instead. As a blue-collar family man just trying to get by, he’s furious. This is what eventually sends him on a collision course with Peter.

  1. The Vulture salvages his gear from The Battle of New York. Although Toomes and his men are kicked off the project pretty soon, it’s still enough time for them to steal some alien tech they find amid the detritus. This is how Toomes is able to build wings for himself, and how some of his men - who later become Marvel villains the Tinkerer and the Shocker - get their own powerful tools.
  2. The Vulture is a totally new kind of Marvel villain. Loki and Ultron might have been hell-bent on taking over the world, but the Vulture has smaller goals in mind. “He’s somewhat of a victim,” Keaton said Toomes’s motivations. “He takes things in to feel like a victim. And some of it is justified actually, because he believes that there is an upper echelon of society and people who are getting away with a lot and have everything, and there was a whole lot of folks who are working hard and don’t have much. Does that sound familiar to anybody, given the political climate?” In the same warehouse where we watched Keaton and Holland film, we got to take a stroll through Toomes’s workshop, which is covered in crayon drawings from his children.
  3. Holland’s performance is inspired by both of the previous Spider-Mans. Holland is definitely doing something new with his character, but he wasn’t afraid to pick and choose elements from Maguire and Garfield. “It’s difficult to not take any influence from Toby and Andrew because they both had such great versions of the character,” he said. “I think from Toby, I’m taking the kind of less cool side of things, whereas Andrew is very cool and very sort of contained. I thought his Spider-Man was fantastic. When he was in that suit, I thought he really came to life, and so those are the two things I’m taking from both people. But for me, it’s just making sure I feel like a kid on set and really, really be the kid that everyone wants to be, you know? To just have fun with it, and see a superhero really enjoy having his powers.”
  1. A classic ‘80s comedy inspired a key fight scene. Bueller? Bueller? That’s right, there will be a sequence of Peter chasing bad guys through a neighborhood worthy of Ferris Bueller. Hopefully he’ll use his web to get around instead of stealing his best friend’s father’s Ferrari.
  2. The cast had to watch a John Hughes movie marathon to prepare. Spider-Man: Homecoming is first and foremost a coming-of-age tale, so Watts turned to the master of such stories: John Hughes. “He gave us a lot of movies to watch,” Holland said. “God there’s so many movies, and we basically just all sat down in my house in Atlanta, all the cast, and we just watched them all in one day and just had like a Dominos day. It was amazing … Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Pretty in Pink, there were loads of them.”
  3. Which is good, since the characters will be in high school for a while. High school will be “a big aspect” of these films, according to Carroll, which Watts echoed. “In the (Sam) Raimi one, he’s only in high school for like 10 minutes,” Watts said. “But I wanted to make a high school movie, so the opportunity to do it with Spider-Man was pretty exciting.” Homecoming takes place in Peter’s sophomore year, which means a trilogy might end with Peter graduating. Fingers crossed Spider-Man: Prom is next.
  4. Holland went undercover at a high school in the Bronx to get the full experience. “I sent him to the Bronx High School of Science, because that’s the kind of school that Peter Parker would go to,” Watts revealed. “He was so blown away by how hard the kids worked, how smart everyone was, and the thing he remarked on was just everyone was exhausted, and that’s what I remember from high school.” Holland went all-in on the experience, too, donning a fake name and accent to blend in. “I am in no way a science student, and some of the teachers would call me up in front of the class and try and get me to do equations and stuff. It was so embarrassing,” he recalled. “But it was actually really, really informative, because schools in London are so different. I would go to school every day in a suit and tie, it was just boys, and to be in a school where you can be free and let loose and be with girls was so different.” Holland swears that no one figured out his secret identity, but we have a feeling he’s going to have a harder time being anonymous once Homecoming premieres.
  1. Tony Stark is an important part of Peter’s growth. “Their relationship is so great in Civil War that you kind of feel you have to keep exploring that,” Watts said of his choice to make Tony a big part of Peter’s story. Holland says Tony is “more like a big brother than he is a father figure” to Peter because of their banter. “He picks on him,” he explained. “And he kind of is down on him quite a lot, but then there is that level of him caring about him like his own. And Robert [Downey Jr.] has really brought something lovely to the character. A very different side to Stark than we’ve ever seen before.”
  2. Tony is a little too overprotective of Peter, according to Peter. After seeing how clumsily Peter handled certain aspects of his team-up with Tony in Berlin, “he doesn’t feel that [Peter is] ready yet to be an Avenger,” Holland said. “I think he might have thought that what happened in Germany was too much for Spider-Man at that time, so he is very persuasive and he’s constantly trying to get Peter to stay in Queens, and save cats out of trees, and stop the burglar, and blah, blah, blah, and nothing of this scale.”
  3. Say goodbye to Harry Osborn. In an effort to make Homecoming feel fresh, Carroll said that “our goal was not to see what’s already been seen.” This means Peter’s BFF-turned nemesis will be missing, along with Oscorp and the Daily Bugle. Fortunately Peter finds a friend and confidant in classmate Ned Leeds (Jacob Batalon), who will no doubt ground the blossoming superhero.
  4. Say hello to a sick new suit. According to Carroll, Peter’s suit (courtesy of Tony) will include features like “a heater, lights, surveillance data, airbags, taser-webs, and mutliweb shooters.” Not too shabby for a 15-year-old from Queens, right?
  5. Holland does not share Peter Parker’s reflexes. There’s a scene in Homecoming that sees Peter handling liquid webbing, but it didn’t take long for Holland to be barred from playing with it. “As soon as they gave it to me I dropped it and it smashed everywhere. It’s literally day one,” he laughed. “It was this clear liquid and then I poured this yellow liquid into it, then mixed it, and it would go fluorescent white. I was like 'Oh this is the coolest thing ever’ and just smashed it everywhere. So, they immediately took it off me and I wasn’t allowed to play with it.”
  6. Holland confirms that Zendaya is the perfect actress for the job. When news first broke that Zendaya might be playing iconic Spidey love interest Mary Jane Watson (although she’s been referred to as “Michelle” so far), some despicable corners of the internet decided to throw a tantrum over the fact she isn’t white. Fortunately Holland can attest that of anyone tasked with dealing with these particular haters, Zendaya probably does it best. “Z is so powerful and so strong-willed that it’s not going to shake her at all,” he said. “She has such a large following on Instagram, and the majority of those people all love her. I feel like our generation is moving past this whole [idea] that you can’t cast someone who’s not of the right race for a character, and I really think we’re breaking through and changing that, and Z is perfect for it.” We have to agree.

See Spider-Man: Homecoming when it hits theaters on July 6!

TalesFromRetail: 'Sir? Sir, you are on fire, sir!'

I tell this story constantly as basically my prime example of why I legitimately love my job. If you ever meet me IRL and say I ripped off my own reddit post, I will cry.

ALRIGHT.

So I work in a grocery store, as one does, and I sell death and false hope, as one also does. That is to say, cigarettes and lottery. This is important, because I am working the customer service desk. We’re the last thing you see on the way out, and often the first stop on the way in if you’re the kind of guy who’s 50-something and your mustache is literally yellow with nicotine, but then we fall into a completely different story.

For now, I would like to discuss two people. The first is the Drunkigh man. I say this because I am reasonably certain he was on EVERYTHING.

I prefer doing this in person because it’s hard to describe this walk, so you’re going to have to do it for me. Make the font size bigger, and get out of your chair.

Okay, good work. Now, lean your waist back as far as you can while remaining standing. Good. Brace yourself on something. Don’t injure yourself for the sake of a story now.

Now, take a step forward, leaning forward at the same time. You should be bent over forward like a broken-down wind-up doll. Now, you can right yourself, because you are not the drunkigh man. You are not in need of the second person,

THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD.

This man is stone cold sober. He is physically righting the drunkigh man after every step. He is apologizing to everyone in a five foot radius like some kind of support class in a MOBA noone has ever wanted to play. This man is enduring for reasons beyond my comprehension, and he has not yet begun to show the true brilliance of his inner light of goodness.

The Drunkigh man looks at me. His finger raises, I suspect to try to discern which of the three of me was the real one, judging from the lack of focus in his eyes. And he says to me, with a firm, slurred determination..

‘I want shome…’

'I want shome shmokes.’

I will not fault the man his desire for tobacco. It may be the one chemical he has yet to ingest today. Unfortunately, I am strictly forbidden from using telepathy at work since the incident. Therefore, I bravely stride into the bog of futility.

“What sort of smokes can I get you?” I say, knowing fully well what’s about to happen. Sadly, professionalism requires that occasionally you accept you are making an irrelevant gesture.

To his credit, he seemed thoughtful for approximately five to ten seconds. My lineup consisted of him and one other person, whom seemed reasonably amused by the proceedings. The drunkigh man’s cogitation ceases. He looks at me.

“I want…”

“I want shome smokes,” He says, more satisfiedly this time. He has, after all, answered my query beyond any reasonable doubt. Any further confusion is purely on my part. Luckily, for my inferior intellect, the BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD steps in.

“Just get him something cheap.”

Which I can do, easily, and I put it on the table. He surprisingly dextrously removes his debit card from his wallet, and somehow, successfully swipes it. But now our hero is faced with an obstacle; He must recall and successfully input four consecutive digits to retrieve his prize.

“Zero,” He says, stirring ancestral memories to the forefront of his awareness. Leaning back, to better view the pinpad, his finger firmly presses against the button. Success!

Time passes. Sweat beads mildly on his forehead. It was summer, though, so maybe it was that? It’s been years.

“Zero,” He concludes, with another push of the button. You may think I am changing the code for the sake of the innocent. I am not. You may think there are bank policies that prevent the horror you’re about to witness. I believed so too. We are both wrong.

The third “Zero” is said somewhat tentatively. He is unsure. His mouth twitches. He cannot afford a mistake now when so much is on the line. Should he try again? No! No, he must be bold. He must strive forward, he must–

“ZERO!” The resounding cry of memories successfully penetrating to the surface. Why, yes, his pin was 0000.

And it worked. I know it worked, because the error code it gave me was for insufficient funds.

He is thoughtful, for a moment, but he did not come this far to be stymied. No, a hero must rail against the darkness of financial void.

“Try again,” He says, considering. He must adapt his strategy, after all, if he is to triumph.

“Try again, but wisch…twenty bucksh extra cash.”

You ask yourself, why would I agree to this? Why would I let this man attempt this thing, when there are now three people in my lineup, at least two of whom are laughing so hard I suspect they may require incontinence products in short order?

Because there is the slim chance this man intended to draw from his savings account, instead of his chequing. I would be doing this man a disservice if I did not provide him this opportunity.

He swipes his card. I’m not certain which he pressed, because I am distracted. I smell something.

I have a particularly weak sense of smell, so it’s intriguing to me when I smell anything. Pot, perfume, the odd scent of smoke–well, the deli has caught fire a few times this year, so I look over and..they’re not panicking. Very well, I am hallucinating the smell of smoke, I decide. Perhaps my brain has decided to commit itself to an honorable suicide.

“Zero,” He continues. He has to drudge through a lot. I’m going to forgive him. If I was as inebriated as he, I would not remember my PIN either. This man has fought to get where he is right now, and the BEST FRIEND is doing his damndest to do damage control.

I will skip the third and fourth zeroes, as nothing of import occurs. I will, however, give you the regrettable conclusion; Insufficient funds.

Our drunkigh man is in a crisis, now. He looks to me. Taps his chin. He has to do something. He has to save his social standing in front of the five people now waiting in line.

Inspiration hits.

“Try again,” He says, with the smug expression of a japanese prosecutor with too many cravats, “But wisch shirty bucksh extra cash.”

Perhaps it is me. Perhaps I am misunderstanding his goals and dreams. I should clarify.

“So you did not have seven dollars and fifty cents,” I ask, “But to be clear, you are absolutely certain you DO have thirtyseven dollars and fifty cents.”

“Yeah!” He says proudly. I suppose, as I resignedly let him swipe, I will give him this. I look to the Best Friend. He understands. Everything is on the line now, I will have to ask him to leave after th–

I smell something. I’m sure of it.

“Zero.”

No. No, I don’t know wh—

“Zero.”

There is a pillar of smoke rising from this man’s crotch. Well, no. It’s more like an inverted pyramid. I’m amazed he can’t see it.

I have said many things in retail. “Hi, how are you?” “Yes, we will allow you to return this salt, I apologize for its high sodium content,” “Please do not urinate in the bottle return.”

It has been nearly a decade, and I still have not had to repeat the day I said,

“Sir? Sir, you are on fire, sir!”

“WHOA!” He says, leaping into action. Action, of course, being two feet behind him. His arms windmill. It’s not terribly effective.

The good news is, I’m slightly wrong. He’s wearing a hoodie. The fire has started in his hoodie pocket, and it’s about three inches in diameter, spewing smoke like a dyspeptic dragon. I assume dragons do that when they have dyspepsia. I’m not a dragon specialist.

The better news is, do you remember that man I called the Best Friend In The World?

Because he has a tired expression on his face, right now.

And he steps over. He puts his hand into the burning pocket, because of course he does. He pulls out the lit cigarette that has been in his pocket for the duration of this excruciatingly long transaction. He puts it out on his bare hands because he lives in a different world, one where we don’t register pain.

He then puts the fire out with his bare hands because he is fully invested in this man’s wellbeing, and agreed to sacrifice his own in what I can only assume is a Faustian bargain for immortality.

There is a long moment.

“i should”

The drunkigh man seems contrite. He is aware he has committed some vague social faus pax, as near as I can tell.

“i should go. now.”

He is in the process of putting his debit card back into his wallet, when the Best Friend In The World spots something.

“Is that–is that a ten dollar bill?!”

“yeah but i–”

The best friend rips the ten dollar bill out of the wallet, and places it down.

So, TL;DR I still made the sale, and that’s all that really matters.

By: Banjooie

10

Happy Valetines Day!!!

(tags are in order with the comic. so read the right paragraph!)

@herrmann thank you for being such a great friend to me! And honestly you were the first friend i ever made on tumblr. Your art is and always will be amazing. And i know you’ll improve and gain more followers! Thank you for encouraging me and talking to me. I hope you know how much i care and adore you. I hope you enjoy your day.

@outertaletrash oh my gosh sis. You have been here for me for so long. Your blog popped up and was my favorite Frans blog i ever found. Your art style is so cool and cute. I love how we both love Undertale. And who knew you were gonna be one of my best friends? You are so dear to me, don’t ever forget how much i love you. Thank you for being with this nugget(me) every day. XD I hope you have a joyful day.

@burebu-luxiu hey buddy! Thanks for talking with me and being there when im bored. XD You are a great friend and your art is just amazing. I know you love drawing and your so passionate for it. I know your gonna get better and better, buddy. Hope you know when we have our little chats, i feel better knowing your there and talking to me. Not everyone is willing to chat with me. Hope you know i care about you! Have a wonderful day.

@sanspar you are just a funny bean. You know that? You make some of the best art out there. I may not know you personally, but i know your a wonderful person. And that you always try your hardest. Thank you for posting tons of awesome art and entertaining many of us. You always make our day. If your feeling down or needing of a break, you don’t always need to post. We know you have a life, and want some free time. I hope you know we all love and care for you as a person. And not just a artist. I am hoping you will be happy always, and that you still love Undertale. XD I really hope your day will be well.

@glitteryandpeachy you are so cute and kind! Your art is so cute and well drawn! Oh my gosh I don’t think i’ll ever be that good! XD No seriously though, your so talented and special. You seem so kind to us, your followers, and I’m happy I got to know your blog. We may not really know each other. But can i say I still love you?( not romantically, don’t worry) Your so sweet, and all you drew so far is a masterpiece. I hope you know you make me and others happy to see your art. X3 May your day is filled with joy.

@nekophy YOU. Are by far the most joyful blog i have ever seen. Your always saying something kind about someone else’s work. You really make people’s day. And I gotta say, we all love your little Goth. How did you come up with such a cute little bean? I’m sure you know how amazing you are. And if you don’t. Please know that there are so many who love you and your work. May you have a lovely day.

@sichounlee aka Daystream, wassup bro. You are such a great addition to my life. Thanks for chatting with me for the longest of times. XD I know you go through hard times and all. But please know there are people who love and care for you. I hope you see this, and remember all the good times you ever had. Hope you have a fantastic day bro.

@owosa you are such a great artist. Your cute art style and comics are beyond what i can do. I love all the wonderful art you draw, and hope you know others do as well. You are a great inspiration, and I hope I’ll get to your level of skill one day. And I love that you stream! It’s always fun to watch you and others draw. X3 You make sure you know people love ya, ok? Remember that. May you have a glorious day Senpai.

@imjustalazycat you have also been an amazing friend. When I first started chatting with you, it was fun getting to know you. XD I still do now of course. Also all the artwork you draw is simply amazing! I don’t know how you get all that shading done in black and white. XP The story is really interesting as well. You got so many people hooked into your work. Man, with all the work you did, you deserve so much happiness and love. Hope I don’t bother you while you sleep.(lol the picture above) Also, remember we love you and your work! Stay determined, and make sure to be happy! The chats we had are really fun, and hope we can have more. I wish you a wonderful day buddy!

@cursetale hey there! Your work is just simply splendid! The au’s you made are also really cool! I know we don’t know each other, but i wish you an amazing life. You work so hard, and draw so wonderfully. How do you have the time to do it? Well no matter how you do it, your skills say you are talented. I hope you know that you bring joy and laughter to us, your followers and friends, with your work. By the way, making sure to say this I love all that you do. (also i drew Dre, because i don’t know what your sona is. ;-;) Have a fabulous day!

@alldrawnup wow. You draw amazingly well. I can’t describe how good you are at it. You draw digitally and on paper. It goes beyond anything I could ever do. Just letting you know, your loved and cared for by your friends, family and your followers( cough and me cough) Lol I am one of your followers. Also I’m excited for my key chain! How did you do it!? It looks so well drawn! I’m glad I was introduced to your blog. I hope your day turns out great!

@willowpower123 eyyyyyy, hey wassup friend? You are a great friend to have, Cat. I hope you know that you make me happy talking to you. And giving me info on your life and day and etc…(she my irl friend) Also for giving me info on the best thing I’ve encountered…                                                                          UNDERTALE!!! If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to see so many talented artists! Thank you so much for being an awesome friend, and giving me a new reason to live. lol Hope your day is swell, buddy.

@heavenfell-au and @huntertale-au you two are the one of the cutest couples out there~ Both your artwork and stories are amazing. Hunter, I know yours is still coming along, but I love it so far already. <3 And Heavenfell, “Their Wings” MMM!!! Such a great story! All the grammar and story are just simply amazing! Every chapter is very interesting! And man, you two are just two stars from the same sky. I love all the talk you two post of each other. Brings a blush and giggle out of me. Actually you both make me giggle, some of the posts you guys do are just simply hilarious! Make sure you guys remember you are loved and cared for. We wish you two a happy life, and blessed time together. Hope you two are having a wonderful day, and stay DETERMINED!!!

@hiimtryingtounderfell you are one of the first artists i have encountered. Honestly, I first saw your comic on Youtube. And I was so, as you say, surprised. Amazed, you got so much done. And it all looked so well drawn. The story was very interesting, and I wanted to see who made it. Your very talented, and determined to be doing such a long comic. I really hope Undertale stays in your heart. And if not, remember you got someone else’s heart. <3 Lol the pink ones I threw at you. X3( in the picture above) Remember you are very special and that people love you. May you have a very edgy day! >:3 kidding. Have a bright and happy day, Senpai.

@blogthegreatrouge Now…. YOU. Because of you I got tumblr. I was just so into your blog, and it was all very interesting! To know so many fandoms, introduced to many new blogs and your art style. YASS!!! Your art style is very fine indeed! Even the small sketches you do are far better than my shaded in canvas trash. Make sure you know you are loved. And know you were my first tumblr inspiration. Everyone and I love your work and your humor. May you have a great day.

There are many other Senpai’s I really do admire. But i just don’t have the time to draw you all…                                                                                                    IMMA TAG YOU ALL ANYWAYS!!! NYEHEHEHEH!!!!

@min-play @swpo3 @alcorner @maybear2003 @caribun @yugogeer12 @ybmiyuki @ania-da-peasant @zombie-frisk @friisans @mudkipful @macotea @majikokoko @eachiwaii @crossxdream @underlineau @kuwacha @zarla-s @buttercupsticksntricks @suisan @walkingmelonsaaa @v0idless @undertalebrokenhome @dayuh @nyublackneko @jaquesart

BONUS!

Also to all my followers! Thank you for being there for me! Without you, I probably would have given up! Make sure to know I love you all! And that you give me so much to do. Also shout out to @zoulubu who gave me the kindest words I heard from any of my other followers. Thanks to you buddy! May you all have a wonderful and magical day!!!