people always wonder what our relationship is like

Heaven

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Reader (Y/N Y/L/N)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Summary: Jensen forgets an important day for the Reader and he tries to come up with a good way of apologizing.

Word Count: 2k-ish

Warnings: Fluff 

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! This is my entry for @buckysmetallicstump‘s Disney Quote Challenge. My quote is bolded! I hope you guys like this! I’m still trying to get back into the groove of writing. I’m sorry if this isn’t up to par. *hides face* feedback is always welcomed!!



Eleven missed calls.

I knew I had screwed up when her phone went straight to voicemail after the third ring. She was avoiding my calls, that much I knew. I tried racking my brain, coming up blank with reasons for the cold shoulder she was giving me.

Keep reading

SNS WEEK - DAY 4 (SNS FAMILY) 🍥🍅

This is dedicated to everyone in our lovely fandom.

Who knew that, because of two loving ninja boys, I’d be able to meet so many wonderful people who never fail to make my day brighter.

I want to thank all of you for being here and continuing to support the relationship and bond of these two no matter what happens. Our fandom is so strong and devoted and inspiring. We always stand up for each other and we don’t let the worst get to us. 

Even though there are so many people who I don’t often talk to (though I wish I could!) I still feel like we are really close. Just like a family. We have each other’s backs no matter what. We can understand the love and dedication we feel for Naruto and Sasuke, which is what brings us even closer to each other. 

I really hope that, no matter what happens, SNS will always be in our hearts just like this wonderful fandom ♥


To finish off, I would like to mention a few people who I can’t imagine this fandom without (in no particular order.)

@rei-scarlet My first friend in the fandom. I was always a quiet mouse and never spoke up until we started talking. I feel so comfortable talking with you about pretty much anything, haha! You’re the one who convinced me to buy Yours For an Hour (BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE). You always stand your ground and can always make me feel better.

@saucegayuchihayyyy You are straight up savage and that’s what I love about you. You don’t take people’s bullshit. But, you are also a caring sweetheart and the posts you make are always thorough and interesting. We don’t talk that often anymore, but seeing you on my dash always makes me happy!

@someone-who-is-there Su, you are so strong and influential. I honestly aspire to be like you. I could even say that you’re like a role-model to me. Even though we don’t know each other that well, yet, I still feel like I could talk to you about anything because you are such an open-minded person. (and your voice is so cute asdfghjk)

@cantgetoversns What can I say? You’re the cutest cinnamon roll ever! I wish that I could just give you the biggest hug possible! You’re a really positive person and talking to you brings me so much joy. 

@blurryfaceimagines Looking back at our messages, we actually haven’t talked a lot but it feels like we’ve been talking for years! You’re really accepting and you make me feel special. I hope we do get to talk more often!

@bahare-uzuchiha I honestly don’t know what the SNS fandom would be like without you! You are considerate and very helpful. I feel like I can always come and talk to you if anything is going on, knowing that you will be there.

@tomoe-au Talking with you is so pleasant and heart-warming. You’re a great person and I absolutely adore your art! You always say sweet things about me which I really think I don’t deserve, haha.

@it-started-over-sasunaru My KakaSaku mutual! I love your blog and sense of humour! 

@snow124-art HANDS DOWN MY FAVOURITE ARTIST

@sasu-loves-naru I remember looking through your blog a lot of times before I even got a Tumblr account! I still love looking through your blog because it’s one of my favourites.

@oliroux Everything you guys do makes me so happy and your contribution to the SNS fandom makes me ever so grateful.

@schaychan Cutie pie with an awesome blog which of course I have my notifications on for~

@ohnaruto We are born on the same day in the same year!!! How crazy is that??? We suddenly stopped talking, but I really hope that you’re doing okay and I love you lots!

@n-a-r-a-t-oo My native friend~ Talking with you is so nice and casual which is what I really enjoy!

@kanonslolly Another native friend whom I absolutely adore! You’re a really cool person and talking with you is so much fun!

@bean-paste-man A blessing to the SNS fandom. 

@asksnfamily An adorable and original blog. I love your art style so much!

@46captain46 We never talked, but you always reblog my stuff which makes me so happy!

@tomato-x-ramen I adore your blog and art style so so much!

@snscomix Another stunning SNS artist! 

@sns-is-my-lifeblood @the-tragic-lovers @sasuke-and-naruto @dobeandteme @9essence @ohfortheloveofnaruto @sasunarubb @lilium-sns @sebas-chan-butler @thecurseofhatred @narusasuaddict @art-is-an-explosiiion @temedobe

(There is so so soooo many more people I want to tag but then this list would go on forever! I love you all and thank you for keeping this fandom going ♥)

Playlist

“Everyday is all the same, like no matter what the reason is the seasons never change. I think of all the time I’ve spent drifting far away and zoning out as I’m clocking in”, I’m playing music in my head while waiting for dismissal. I can’t even keep up with what our instructor is saying, I’m too absorbed with my desire of going home. It has always been like this, attend school, go out with friends, and have some lone time contemplating life. “Seems like even cupid don’t know what to do, everybody’s got somebody but me”, that song suddenly popped on my head and I got shivers. It’s almost annoying hearing people talk to you about not having been in a relationship, I wonder if it’s a requirement. Sometimes I think, maybe I’m really not that attractive, then I look around, “nah, I really don’t mind”. I’ve been existing in this world for more than 20 years and about to graduate without romance in life, I guess I’m used to it. It’s not like I don’t want to, it’s not like I want it either, I just can’t imagine myself with one. I’ve always been afraid with the idea of settling down, imagining it makes me sick. Suddenly, I heard my classmate calling me out, then I realized I spaced out again. “What were you thinking just now?” My friend asked, “nothing important really” I said. “Well it’s time to go, guess I’ll find some guy on the way home, see ya” I told my friends then get out of the class. I put my headphones on then thought, if there’s someone I want to be with, this guy should love the songs on my playlist, I’ve never seen one, people always thought I have some alienated playlist but I don’t mind, unlike them who just goes with the flow, I wanted to submerge myself into real music.
“Hello Mr. Sun, today’s the day we change our plans, and end the war against our own selves” “I forgot again to stop the music last night” well it’s saturday and I’m out of good books, I badly need one. I rushed to the bathroom and got excited with the idea of going to a book store. I missed being there, I’ve been busy with my studies so I barely have the time to stop by. As I look for some interesting stories, a fancy note got my attention. “I’m searching for a perfect soul that I may never find”, it’s a line from Ryan Cabrera’s all night train. I smiled, then look for that someone who wrote it, also I bought the book that’s with the note. I suddenly got curious to whom it might be. But it’s only 9:30am and there are no other customer than me, so I continued the lyrics of the song instead and asked if he’s a boy or a girl then I left.
I found myself smiling while going out of the store when a guy caught my attention, he looks mysterious so I followed him with my gaze. He went on the spot where I found the note but he just scanned the books then look on other shelves. I was quite disappointed ‘cause I got my hopes up thinking he might be that person. When I’m home, I rushed to my room and stare at the book I bought, I’ve got an eye on this book the last time I went to the store but I have no extra money to buy it. Maybe it was fate telling me to buy it already since I ’m really interested to it. Or maybe, “no it can’t be”, I’m just imagining things. I tried to take a nap, but then I decided to head back to the store and search for the note. The person replied and the note says he’s a guy. Again I searched the surrounding, but there’s no one. I tried scribbling some lyrics of the song Amazing by Andrew Allen saying, “what is this life I’ve stumbled into, where’s it going to take me, where’s it going to take you?” then left when I bumped into this same guy I saw earlier. “Sorry” we both said and smiled at each other. He really is handsome especially when he smiles. I watched him from afar while he’s searching for books when suddenly he wrote something while he’s on the shelve I just left. I ignored it then went downstairs, but I went back to see what he wrote. I was so happy with what I saw, “If life is a journey, then I know where I’ll be, by the ocean, or that valley in the sea. But I don’t think anyone’s looking for me, especially you” he replied. As I thought, he really is that guy, and he even continued the lyrics of the song I wrote on the note. He saw me smiling and approached me “Hi, so it’s you?” he said and I nod. “It was just a habit of me to write notes randomly and it’s the first time that someone replied and I was so surprised” he continued. “If it’s just a random note then I won’t really care, it’s the lyrics that really caught my attention” I replied. “I didn’t know that someone knows that song” he said, “well I kind of like those type of songs so yeah, someone knows it” I replied, “so does anyone told you that you had weird taste of music?” He said while laughing and I said, “all the time” while rolling my eyes. “Well it was nice meeting you, I gotta go” I said, we said our goodbyes then went off.
While heading home I realized I didn’t asked his name, maybe it’s not meant to be. Maybe that incident just taught me to try changing my mindset and give love a try, maybe just that, nothing more. I barely convinced myself, and next thing I knew, I’m already walking towards the store again. He’s not there, offcourse. I was depressed so went to a coffee shop, good thing I brought that book with me so I started reading it while having my coffee. “Off the pages” I heard someone said. I put down the book and stared at this guy and smiled, “it’s you again” I said. He sat in front me and said “you actually bought that? That’s where I put the note right?” “Yeah, I really wanted to buy this book and it so happened that it’s with that note”.
It was the first time I liked someone, I never felt this before. I’m afraid, but for now I’ve decided, maybe I’ll give it a try. Unconsciously, I started singing “I’m gonna break down these walls I built around myself, I wanna fall so in love, with you and no one else”, instead of being embarrassed, I just smiled. Starting that day, we’ve been sharing music together.

anonymous asked:

i used to ship karamel &i always wondered why the supercorp shippers were so mad but i started reading what u were saying about it and it just blew my mind. so many people glorify relationships like that i just thought it was normal. i don't ship karamel anymore but i also don't ship supercorp (even tho there are gay undertones) instead i ship "kara danvers is an independent badass woman who doesn't need any1 but if they put her in a relationship w some1 who treats her right then thats cool"

good for you, my dude! it’s so awesome that you were willing to listen to our opinion! and not shipping supercorp?? that’s cool too, just as long as you get why monstrosilty elf is a bitchass hoe ❤️

I mean, no matter WHAT happens, i’m still gonna ship tomco and i’ll still love it.

(After all, i’m sure in one of the many alternate universes they’re canon XD)

But, it is a shame they might never fully be visually canon within the show, they still can if Nefcy manages or pulls a korrasami with em, but if they can’t, oh well.

It won’t be the end of the world.

But at least, by the time the show ends, we’ll have ALOT of great content for them as a ship.

Because their relationship is really great, and it stands out.

and at least it’s a relationship that the show has managed to give romantic undertones and implications of, even if they never directly say anything.

((Because somehow i doubt this’ll be the last time tomco gets more of these weird romantic implications))

If Tomco doesn’t happen, i’m not gonna let myself act like the Sta//rco fanbase when Jar//co happened.

I’m better then that, the tomco fanbase is (mostly) a chill group of wonderful people, we never expected Disney to cater to us and when it does…we take what we get.

If they do, that’s amazing and i can’t thank them enough, if not, it’s cool…we still have our imaginations and amazingly talented community.

Tomco will always be a pure and wonderful relationship, no matter what the show brings in the future.

I have hope that it can happen, but if not, it’s alright. XD

We didn’t come into this ship expecting alot, and as long as tom and marco end together on amazing terms…i’ll be happy enough.

Attracting a spirit companion

I’ve seen a lot of posts where purchases of companions can take place. Now while I’m not against people making a living at what they are good at, and I’m a fan of free enterprise. I often have some thoughts that say “hold on wait a minute”. A Lot of religions, spiritual, and cultural practices all over the world often state that mostly everyone is born with a spirit companion, a totem, a guide, a guardian angel, and of course their ancestors are watching them. Although they are called many different things in each culture or religion, they surely must be there, right? Sometimes I find people just don’t know how to listen.

Here’s some tips on getting or talking to your spirit companions. As always a ton of meditation and practice is also recommended. Getting familiar with the spirit realm is always advised.

1. Don’t be scared

With that being said, you know they are there, but you gotta listen, and you have to be open. Sometimes they are going to look funny, they are going to act funny, and they might do things you won’t understand. Try to keep an open mind, they may look scary, but won’t mean any harm.

2. Communication

Spirits will go to those that they are attracted to, just as humans flirt with those they find appealing in some way. They may be already trying to speak with you, but you may not be listening. Henceforth communication with a spirit is important. I find that many spirits won’t “speak” but more or less project images or feelings to you. It takes a lot of energy for them to say something audible to our ears, so most of us will only hear one or two words at a time. Many times you may only hear a gasp or sigh unless they have a source to pull energy from. Sometimes if they want attention, or play a joke on you they may move objects or throw things to the floor. Usually they tend to pick the same object(s).

3. Perception

The spirit realm is a different place than the human realm. Sex, relationships, gender, food, and appearances are all looked at in a different light over there. Remember they also may not always understand why you do what you do until they get to know you better. Some spirits have been around humans for centuries and understand our crazy ways, some of them will look down upon you for it, some will take advantage of it, and the new ones won’t always understand why you don’t listen very well.

4. Give and take

I often wonder if people who buy companions ever have those companions just run off? Just as people get married and divorced you can separate from having a spirit companion, and they can leave you if they wish. Like any relationship it is a give and take, you may ask them for protection and they may ask you for energy. One day you may wake up and they are gone or vice versa.

Finding old companions

You also may have companions that have been with you for every incarnation you’ve had. Most of these will be like long lost distant relatives, they won’t over crowd you, but they will be glad to find you.  If a spirit likes you enough they are going to come and find you. I’ve had plenty that have come and found me from my past lives. I don’t necessarily keep them as close companions, but if I need a favor I can call them, and if they need a favor they can come to me. It’s kinda nice if I need a small army, I have one. 

Dead Phone / Nate Maloley Imagine

request: rly cute fluffy imagine with nate.. like he’s finally gotten over his “no-cuff” phase and found someone to settle down with and theyre talking about starting a family (or something like that)

this was such an awesome one to write! Thanks for the request!

Dating someone that has been in the media for long wasn’t always easy. Friends and family always warned me about giving Nate a change. He would cheat on me, and he would only break my heart.
I never really believed any of that. I always knew Nate had that type of past. But everyone makes mistakes, and I loved him so much that it almost was impossible to let him go just because of his past.
Since the start we always were very quiet about our relationship to keep the haters far away, of course we posed pictures of us and once in a while snapchatted one of our dates but that was it, and we were fine until people started to wonder if we were going to get married one day, or if we were ever thinking about getting kids. Or even wondering if we were still together.

“Another comment” I sigh, looking in my Instagram notifications. “What does it say now?” he asked from the kitchen and came up to me.

"Are they still together? Like we never see them together anymore. LMAO nate might found someone better, like some wifey material”

Nate laughed, “dude what’s so funny about that?” I say looking at him. “It’s funny because they actually think I will ever find someone better than you” he says with such an silly voice, so I start to laugh. He comes closer and kisses me, “for real, turn the comment section off and BOOM no more annoying questions!” he says grabbing my phone, “Okay then” I said annoyed. Nate didn’t said anything anymore and finished whatever he was cooking in the kitchen earlier.
I started to get bored, so I just checked my phone but he died. “ugh baby?” I asked, and Nate showed up. “Can I just use your phone for a second?” I asked him and he nodded. “Sure babe, here” he handed me his phone and I logged in with my Instagram account and scrolled on my timeline. All of a sudden a message pops up, it’s from Swazz.
Swazz: so, when are you going to tell her? Like do you think she wants kids?
My heart dropped. I wasn’t the type of girlfriend that would check my guy his phone, but this time it was stronger than myself so I just had to check it.
I started to read everything they’ve been talking about the last few days. Everything was about how much Nate wanted children with me. A small smile appeared on my face. “Why u smiling?” Nate said as he stood behind me. I freaked out and he grabbed his phone out of my hands. “Oh” he said kinda getting shy. “Are you serious?” I asked him, and he nodded. “I can really see myself with you as my wife, the mother of my kids. I don’t know I just feel this way.” I smiled at him, “Nate I would love to have a family with you.” I said looking into his eyes.
he started “Really? Like you don’t hav-“ I cut him off “Nate yes, I’m serious.” He just smiled and pulled me in a tight hug. “Just imagine a little me running around with your amazing personality” he says looking around with the biggest smile on his face. I could not help but smile along with him.

/it was kinda short, I’m sorry. I just really missed writing imagines so I’m so happy to be back! Keep requesting me ideas so I never fall out of ideas again!
Much love

Life of the Party.

My eyes danced around the room, trying to find his familiar face amongst the sea of blurry figures; the liquor was beginning to settle in me and send me off into another dimension. I had quickly grown hot and raised the hemline on my skirt to expose my thighs discreetly under the table. He had promised to be back within twenty minutes and yet, he was still lost in the crowd somewhere. Huffing, I twirled the straw in my glass yet another time until a familiar voice sounded behind me.

“You look irritated.” I turned my gaze as Cristiano stood behind my chair, his hand immediately landing on my exposed thigh as he spoke into my ear. “You need something?” The sexual tone danced through his words and I immediately nodded.

My body had been longing for him to just take me away and back to our home but I knew we had to remain here for a little while longer. I should have just been happy that he had returned finally to keep me company.

I didn’t know anyone else in the room and though I had attempted to chat up a few of the ladies I figured I’d have a little bit in common with, I couldn’t keep the conversation going for too long. I was too interested in spending time with Cris.

He held out his hand to me and I gracefully placed my hand onto his, allowing him to pull me up from my seat.

His hand landed on the small of my back, urging me forward carefully. I could see a few eyes on us, some probably filled with jealousy and envy but I didn’t care. So many people wondered what I was doing with a famous footballer like him. I was just a regular girl. There was nothing special about me maybe besides my piercing eyes and curvaceous figure but still…weren’t there many women like that? That was probably their thoughts but I knew better.

No matter how many people probed our relationship with questions, they were quickly dismissed. He didn’t take too kindly to anyone questioning my motives behind being with him and I was always grateful for him sticking up for me. I found his protective behavior to be attractive.

Cristiano had found something so enticing about me that he couldn’t let go and now I wouldn’t let him.

A slow song had begun to play. You would have thought at a NYE party, the music would be much more festive but no, a random slow song was drowning out loudly. Cristiano pulled my shorter figure to him, keeping his hand on my back before sliding it up and down my hips while we swayed to the music.

“Are you having a good time here?” he questioned as his lips moved near my ear, his eyes still glancing to the others around us, offering a polite smile to anyone who made eye contact with him.

“I’d much rather be at home with a carton of French vanilla ice cream and you massaging my feet if that answers your question,” I responded, eliciting a husky laugh from him.

“Just give me an hour and we can leave okay?” He placed a kiss to my cheek, still moving us along to the music. I comfortably rested my head on his shoulder, not caring about possibly misplacing the pins in my hair from the pressure.

“Okay.”

He turned his attention to me and lowered his hand to my face, brushing away a loose hair strand that covered my face. “I’ll even let you talk me into watching Titanic for the hundredth time.”

My head immediately popped off his chest in surprise. “Seriously?” He nodded in response which caused me to grin madly. “You can make me smores too.”

“I thought we were eating ice cream?” he reminded.

“We can have both can’t we?” I questioned, looking up at him.

He lowered his lips to mine, leaving them there for quite some time. Our bodies still moved in rhythm and I was sure those around us noticed us engaged in this kiss which I was perfectly fine with.

Finally, we parted and Cristiano smiled with, “We can.”

Inspired by a prompt somewhere for @felicityash and @pretendtobepunkrock’s breakup!5sos blurb night! :) Hope you like it! 


“Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth Luke?!” I shouted, bewildered at the fact he was actually saying these words. 

“Yes Y/N of course I fucking do. You’re just over exaggerating everything as usual!” He yelled back. Face red and hair tousled with the infinite times he’s run his hands through it. “Damn, Aleisha would have never acted like this.” He muttered, thinking I wouldn’t hear him. 

But I did. Of course I did. The only thing that makes me more insecure than anything is Luke’s ex. I mean come on. She’s freaking beautiful! To this very day, a year later into our relationship, I still don’t understand why he left her for me… 

“Yeah Luke. She would never act like this.” I mumbled turning away from him to get my jacket and keys. 

“Wait no.” He instantly regretted the words. “Babe stop. I didn’t mean that.” He rushed towards me preventing me from putting my jacket on. 

I tried pushing him off but his arms wrapped securely around my waist. “No Luke just stop. It’s true okay. I know it’s true so there’s no point denying it right. She’s way better than me and will always be so just let me go so you can go back to her.” I felt a lump in my throat and tried to stop the tears that were forming in my eyes. I looked back at him and I could see the regret in his face. 

“Hey I was just mad okay? I should never have said that because it’s not true. You know I love you bubs.” He used his pet name for me and cupped my face with his hands staring right into my eyes. 

But I couldn’t look at him. He said the one thing that could make me feel like an absolute shit girlfriend. I mean you think everything is going right and that if you have love everything will eventually be okay. That was a load of bullshit. Luke said the one sentence that could reopen my wounds, letting the insecurities flow through me like a pouring waterfall. It made me wonder what else has been lurking in his head regarding our relationship. 

I pushed away from him and headed towards the door. 

“Come on-” He started. 

“You know what Luke.” I spun around to face him one last time. “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have said something so hurtful. People who are in love don’t say shit like that.” A tear fell from my eye and I cursed myself for looking so vulnerable. 

“And by the way, you proved me right.“ I said opening the door. “All I’ve ever learned from love is that someone always gets hurt or fucked over.” I spat, before casting one last glance at him and walking out the door.

Learning How to Deal With Loneliness is Important

It’s curious to me. It’s interesting.. I know that every single person in existence is not lonely, but I notice that a lot of people are. And you know, we do experience loneliness at points. Just as we experience pure happiness, exhilaration and good times. In that way, we experience highs as we experience lows. Sometimes your high is very high and low is very low. Sometimes your high is very high that when you hit your low, it’s not really low on the scale. It’s like hitting the middle. It’s as if you’re super happy and then you reach a steady level of calm contentment.

I wonder if the youth feels lonely. I feel that we do. I feel that we don’t. Again, I feel that we experience it at different times. So I wonder.. what are we looking for? What are we looking for in other people? What are we looking for in things? I think these are important things to ask ourselves. You don’t always immediately realize it, but we do cope from loneliness with food, drinking, smoking, romantic relationships, friendships, parties, clothes, creating, distancing ourselves, climbing the job ladder, social media, searching the internet, achieving, meditating, religion, sex, spirituality, doing what’s expected of us, not doing what’s expected of us.

It’s just really interesting what our images of happiness may be, you know? Like we can very well go out with friends and still be incredibly sad. I’m sensitive to energy, so I’ve been at parties and by definition, everyone is having a “good time” but I don’t feel that to be a truth for some. On the other hand, loneliness doesn’t have to be a bad experience.

I’ve found that loneliness visits me. Instead of leaving this guest outside of my door, I welcome it in. Allow it to get cleaned up. Give it some time to express itself. Give it a snack and let it be on it’s way. Now transformed into acceptance. A loneliness that now feels seen. There’s powerless loneliness and there’s an empowering loneliness experience. Where you don’t allow loneliness to consume you entirely. You allow it to reveal to you what you need to see and then allow it to be on its way. Each experience is not the same or easy, but it helps to actively get to know your loneliness so you know how to navigate it when it arrives.

I just want us all to reach a level of peace we all very well deserve. I want us to be there for ourselves first, and then be there for each other. I think the loneliness that keeps arriving for many of us is this – we are dying to be seen. Metaphorically and literally. Whether it means emotionally or physically we’re dimming. I pray we see ourselves. I pray we see each other. I pray we get to the root of loneliness so that we can heal it. And if it’s the kind of loneliness that arrives once every couple of months like an old relative, we simply love it until it’s gone. I pray we are present for ourselves and that we choose joy and an uninhibited living experience whether we’re lonely or not.

I guess what I’m saying is loneliness may arrive, but don’t stop accepting the beneficial joys that pour into you and fill you up. - Brittany Josephina

A/n: Idk what this is. Just translating my feelings onto here so here’s a little blurb! Inspired by a prompt flying around somewhere xx


“Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth Luke?!” I shouted, bewildered at the fact he was actually saying these words.

“Yes Y/N of course I fucking do. You’re just over exaggerating everything as usual!” He yelled back. Face red and hair tousled with the infinite times he’s run his hands through it. “Damn, Aleisha would have never acted like this.” He muttered thinking I wouldn’t hear him.

But I did. Of course I did. The only thing that makes me more insecure than anything is Luke’s ex. I mean come on. She’s freaking beautiful! I still don’t understand why he left her for me…

“Yeah Luke. She would never act like this.” I mumbled turning away from him to get my jacket and keys.

“Wait no.” He instantly regretted the words. “Babe stop. I didn’t mean that.” He rushed towards me preventing me from putting my jacket on.

I tried pushing him off but his arms wrapped securely around my waist. “No Luke just stop. It’s true okay. I know it’s true so there’s no denying it right. She’s way better than me and will always be so just let me go so you can go back to her.” I felt a lump in my throat and tried to stop the tears that were forming in my eyes.

I looked back at him and I could see the regret in his face. “Hey I was just mad okay? I should never have said that because it’s not true. You know I love you bubs.” He used his pet name for me and cupped my face with his hands staring right into my eyes.

But I couldn’t look at him. He said the one thing that could make me feel like an absolute shit girlfriend.

I mean you think everything is going right and that if you have love everything will eventually be okay. That was a load of bullshit. Luke said the one sentence that could reopen my wounds, letting the insecurities flow through me like a pouring waterfall. It made me wonder what else has been lurking in his head regarding our relationship.

I pushed away from him and headed towards the door.

“Come on-” He started.

“You know what Luke.” I spun around to face him one last time. “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have said something so hurtful. People who are in love don’t say shit like that.” A tear fell from my eye and I cursed myself for looking so vulnerable.

“And by the way, you proved me right.“ I said opening the door. “All I’ve ever learned from love is that someone always gets hurt or fucked over.” I spat before casting one last glance at him and walking out the door.

I wonder how much of this common meme that poly people always have all these complicated rules is a way to try to convince monogamous people that we’re not just “slutty” “anything-goes” players or whatever. See, we can do committed relationships too! Look at all our rules and relationship contracts and agreements! We’re Super Srs!

Obviously many poly people really do have rules, and that’s valid, but this strong emphasis on rules in the discourse (at least, the public-facing discourse) seems a capitulation of sorts. What if you can have loving, committed romantic/sexual relationships without rules, just like you can have loving, committed platonic or familial relationships without rules? That’s even scarier than the idea of your partner sleeping with other people, because it upends a lot more assumptions.

I sometimes enjoy going through old posts of mine on here that are related to feminism or are politically-charged in some fashion

I don’t read them to stroke my ego, but to measure how much I’ve grown

(tbh, I really cringe/laugh/roll my eyes at a lot of the things I’ve written)

I see a lot of posts that look like homework assignments

I read that a couple ways

first: I was trying to occupy all the free time I had because college was over and all I ever knew was college

secondly: I was an angry, passionate student trying to figure everything out – attempting to answer every question, win every argument, and always prove myself right

I unpacked articles and wrote diatribes to forget about my loneliness

Jordan once said something about me never having time for people in our department – or for people, period – because of this deep, obsessive immersion in information

she said she really admired and envied that, like, "you can’t hang out or deal with petty bullshit because you’re always too busy examining the things in life that actually matter"


hearing that from my best friend meant a lot, but I was not doing well

I wondered what it was like to be in her position – to have great grades, steady employment, a rich relationship with the department, and weekly if not daily social engagements with groups of friends, significant others, and family members

I didn’t know how to do any of that

I only knew how to study 

graduating, having consistent odd jobs, and working on things that weren’t related to my degree have actually made me a better person and, in turn, a better feminist

I’m less concerned with pointing fingers and more open to complicating my own perspective

I’m less concerned with defending feminism and more open to exorcising it, to cutting it open and washing away its toxicity 

I’m less concerned with “intelligence” and more open to really fucking feeling things

I think that a painting, a poem, a song, a photograph can be just as important as a book of high and dry theories

I think something I really meditate on a lot is accessibility

a shift in our collective consciousness is only likely to be initiated by the great catalyst of accessibility

we have to be more open with each other, yet we have to remember to be very careful and deliberate with our words

being outside of the academy has made me more aware, on an emotional, human level, of the realities of everyday life

I guess what I’m getting at here is the process of coming back down to earth – of accepting one’s insignificance, of rejecting elitism and extinguishing every last trace of domination 

anonymous asked:

are you and Saber a thing? Like I first followed Saber, and I was like 'omg I love her shes actually making me question my sexuality now wtf.' and then I followed you and I was like 'omg I love you.' and then I realized... WAIT. SABER AND HUMPHREY GUYS. I ship it.

I always wondered when I’d get an ask like this! x3 It seems like nowadays everyone ships Saber and I.
To answer your question, Saber and I have known each other for a looooong time. We are extremely close people, and we share everything with each other. “Best friends” sometimes feels like an understatement in contrast to our relationship, but I guess it’s the best way I can describe it.
Who knows what the future will tell. Whether or not we ever end up something more, or we stay just extreme best friends, we will always be good ol’ Saber and Humphrey, world adventurers ;D
more like internet adventurers amirite

but I do think we can all agree we’d be daamn cute couple mmhm.
make all the other moose couples go