people actually like this i'm happy

i’m just saying that i love him more than i should and it makes me queasy but it makes me happy like one of those carnival rides you tried when you were seven and whenever you think about you get this weird sad punch of nostalgia about spinning lights and a warm night where everything actually felt good. i’m just saying that a lot of people have said they love me and i’ve said the same but it wasn’t until he drove three hours out of his way just to bring me chicken noodle soup that i realized love is less about the words and more about the actions of three a.m. when you’re both drunk and honest. what i’m saying is that love looks different from the inside. like i had no idea how to read and he showed up with an entire story.

cecil, tearfully: i just can’t believe it…they’re actually together….

carlos: i know, honey, i know. it’s so great to see people like us in the media nowadays.

cecil: and i can’t believe they basically got ENGAGED….

carlos: wait, what?

cecil: yuri and victor….i’m so happy for them even though they’re just anime characters…..

carlos: oh. i thought you were talking about tracer and her girlfriend.

cecil, starting to happy-sob a bit again: I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM TOO

I can’t wait to see Yuri!!! on Ice! 

I already love Yuri Plisetsky. I can imagine this angry kid having the flexibility to do a biellmann spin — it would be like watching magic on ice.

I drew the costume from the official art, but since the whole picture is painted in blue, I had to imagine the colors. In any case, I think Yuri looks really good in blue.

Witchy give away time!

So I reached over 1100 followers, and I am so happy that you lovely people want to follow me, and I am so honored that some of you send me such beautiful messages. So I wanted to give back to my lovely friends and followers. 

So I am doing a give away! The give away will be shipped out next month! Please keep in mind that I live in Australia, so it may take a little bit of time to deliver to an overseas winner. But I will give you a tracking number and I will look after it in transit. I work for a courier company!

Items in the give away may include but are not limited to  (IT’S A SURPRISE! MORE FUN THAT WAY):
- Incenses
- Resins
- Herbs
- Smudge sticks
- My own personal creations- herbal sachet bags, vision oils, love charms etc
- Candles
- Tarot cards
- Books
- Crystals

What you need to do:

-Be following me
-Reblog this post
-Be awesome
-Wait patiently for shipping from Australia like a boss

Winner will be announced on my 26th birthday next month, the 12th of February!

  • person: idk you don't really seem mentally ill? like it seems like youre super happy most of the time
  • me: bOYYY IF YOU DON T
I need to set myself free.

to the dearest of friends.

It’s been a while, huh? I don’t know how many people actually wondered or even guessed what happened to me, but something incredibly moving and important just happened in my life.

I finally saw the truth and decided not to lie anymore.

I’ve been going to a psychologist. I’ve started to take meds to aid me in my daily life to confront anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I can say I’m really making some progresses, even though small.

I’ve always been different from other children, in particular from boys. I’ve had many problems dealing with some feelings that I couldn’t explain to myself or maybe I was too scared to actually deal with them.

I would always run away.
My dad left me at the age of 7. I was seven years old when he left me, my brother and my mother. I was envious of other kids relationship with their fathers.

Why was I the only one without one?
Years passed. I had to deal with continuing harrassment and bullying from my classmates. They would yell at me words that still hurts like poison: faggot. Pussy.

I’m still shacking while writing about it. Incredible how much pain some memories can deal to one person.

At the age of 16 I heard that my father died. It was like knowing a distant relative died in some kind of disaster. I didn’t feel anything, if nothing at all. I was still lying to myself about who I really was.

Suicide was the first thing I’d say “good morning” to and “goodnight” as well. The few friends I had didn’t know. I was alone and scared, ready to bid farewell to a life I didn’t think I deserve to live.

So much pain no one could ever describe.

I can’t seem to stop shacking.

But then, some light decided to touch my pale skin. The sun decided it was the moment to give me just a bit of its light, just because I was existing not because I deserved it.

That was all I was. Empty and scared, almost emotionally deprived if not from the most basic of instincts: fear.

I started to hang out with some of my brother’s friends. I was the elder brother but I seem I couldn’t even be that to my brother, who grew up with the strength I lacked and crave for.

Things got easier.
I got in a new class, with new people. People who didn’t harrass me I wasn’t wearing something cool or wasn’t making fun of me because of my behaviour.

I was free.
But still afraid of them.

I made new friends. I was appreciated and accepted. I was moved. I was grateful that I could even feel something as beautiful as joy.

Now those people chose their path. They were good people, supporting classmates and friends.

Suicidal thoughts returned to me, waving like sinister shadows at me. Anxiety came back as well. Two weeks ago I decided to defeat them, knowing that that would lead me to accept me for what I was.

The mere thought was scary enough to give me stomachaches.

My mother accompanied me. She’s always been a really comforting and supporting figure, as well as a mighty woman. I’ll always be grateful to her. After the meeting with the psychologist, a really professional and understanding man, I decided to change my life.

My mother asked me if everything was alright. I struggled to hold the tears. She was on the brink of tears as well. I was scared, afraid that she would see me differently if she knew, or not love me anymore, even.

But that wasn’t the case.

She said “I love you. No matter what.” firmly, like never before in my life I saw her like that. She didn’t just say “I care about you” but “I love you”. I felt so fragile and tired, but finally free.

Immediately, joy followed. Two days ago I told the truth to the two most important persons in my life: my brother and my best friend.

I cried so much while I was embraced by their understanding and I cried even louder when both of them hugged me. I felt so warm inside, laughter quickly grew in intensity from my mouth, like beautiful and strong flowers.

“We always only had each other, Loris. What brother would I be if I saw you differently just because you’re gay!” he said. “No matter what comes, we’ll be brothers for ever.”
I’m still trying to accept and understand the myself I always ran away from. I decided to meet him.
And also, decided not to lie anymore on this blog and to all those people I consider friends.

Yes, I’m gay.

Okay so five hours later lol. The thing is, people like my bigoted father in law don’t understand is that for how many years of my life did I struggle with the idea that I couldn’t be happy with both? There are days I cannot stand my female body, my breasts disgust me, I want nothing to do with it. Then there are days I love it and I love my cleavage and nothing makes me feel sexier than a push up bra and lipstick. I knew I couldn’t transition and be happy because there are a lot of times where I enjoy being a woman and so for years I spent weeks depressed, trying to fit a feminine mold for work. Then I left work and had kids and there’s nothing worse than feeling like you have to be a woman because now you’re a mom. Since I’ve struggled with infertility for so long I never thought of myself as a woman in that capacity and here are little proofs of a womb running around me. So I cut my hair short and bought a bunch of men’s clothes but then after a few months I started to miss my femininity. So what am I supposed to do? Just be fucking miserable because YOU exist on a gender binary and can’t handle it?? How does it affect YOU if I feel like a dude today and a chick the next??? Is it worth making me feel miserable at my core for your fifteen minutes of comfort dealing with me? I just can’t wrap my head around how selfish you must to insist I fit your idea of gender. And the worst part? I am very conscientious of other people’s perceptions and try to make you feel comfortable!! I won’t push my identity on you – the reason I changed is because I met a few of my other in laws for prom dress shopping and I know they don’t want to deal with it but they also respect me not to talk shit in front of me. So I’ll dress femme for you. Respect is a two way street. Don’t act like you should get respect by shoving your shit opinions on people who live these experiences just because you don’t understand. Ugh. /end rant

That’s enough...



and also this:

This kind of replies and tags are on so many of my drawings. I HATE THEM. These ones aren’t even from nsfw-ish drawings of mine. They are from these two:

Actually pieces that I’m kinda proud of it!

I wanted people to feel happy while looking at Zen, feel like they were in some kind of fairytale! In Saeran’s one tho, because I love Lee Hi’s song “Rose” and because it reminded me of him I combined it.

BUT instead of that I feel disrespect towards my drawings and myself the artist…They are far from GREAT but I’m pretty proud of these ones, because I made them with the objective of making SOMEONE feel something in them.

Haven’t you guys seen clothes folding? Haven’t you guys seen a male Ice skater? I don’t care if you think or look at it! Just don’t put in the tags or replies because I don’t want to see that. If I ever see that again I’ll just delete the comment.

Thank you for reading and I hope you guys understand.

okay, but like, i’m 22 and skam has me all nostalgic, missing my teenage years. crying because teens are so pure and i’ll never be one again. i might never fall in love the way i did when i was a teenager.

but for those of you who are actually 16/17 and can relate to skam’s characters? i’m extremely happy for you.

i wish i would’ve seen a show like this when i was 16. i wish there had been such a strong, supportive group of female characters who are friends, who don’t look perfect, and don’t always have the best behaviors either. because they are learning. friends who help other friends to understand, friends who educate each other. they make each other better, because people need people.

i’m tired of those best tv shows of all time lists, in which all we can see are men killing men, or dealing with drugs, or mistreating women. those may be good for entertainment. but shows like skam is what young people need. or, even, what the world needs. i’m so, so, so happy for those of you who are still in their teenage years, and who are watching skam and feeling everything, and learning and falling in love. i’m so jealous and i love y’all so much.

again i really want to delete my fb account. Had the usual birthday wishes yesterday from people i haven’t seen for a v long time which is really nice of them  but… it means i have to reappear to thank them and i’d actually prefer to leave the past behind completely. I suppose that’s weird of me. The only reason i keep the account is because of the really remote chance i _might_ need to contact someone via fb and have no other way to do so.

Can I just say how heartwarming it is to see people make posts about being excited for Inuvember?? Like we created Inuvember because we hadn’t heard of an Inuyasha Week and decided that Inuyasha deserved a month and now it’s the third year we’ve done it and people actually??? Look forward to it?? Thank you so much???

The only reason this exists is because I said “but what if Bucky painted his arm to be candy-cane striped?”

But anyway, Happy Christmas-kah, to those who celebrate.

And for everyone else (like me), I hope you are enjoying the cheap and bountiful candy canes and doing that thing where you lick it to a sharp point and stab people with it.

I’m still in shock that 100 people actually follow me?? Like guys, I don’t even think that many people like me irl lol okay so thank you to each and every one of my followers I love you all sm and cannot express how much y’all mean to me! So the best I can do for you all are some headcanons (lol does anyone still remember that I’m partially a writing blog too??), blog compliments, and name aesthetics

Rules (cause we are civilized people and not like Voldemort)

  • must be following this random awkward potato
  • reblog this post
  • send me an ask with which ones you want
  • send me a 📖 for personalized headcanons (please read under cut before requesting!)
  • send me a 💕 for a compliment
  • send me a 🌸 and your name for a name aesthetic
  • Optional: give me recommendations for themes with cool update tabs and bigger fonts because I’m searching for a new one but can’t find any that i like
  • you are allowed to send all three if you may like!
  • message me if there are any questions!
  • optional: maybe check out my writing (just remembered that I still need to set up an about me page and a page for my edits)(well I’ll do that later)

Keep reading

unpopular opinion but why can’t people just be happy that mark gets to go home and see his family? like yes his friends are snakes but people deadass wish that he doesn’t go home because they don’t want the snakes to be around him. that’s selfish of fans to think that way, mark’s home is in la and people saying they don’t want him to go home and see his family like?? stop thinking that once got7 step into la, all hell will break loose. stop associating whatever mark does with his la friends. 

uh, heh, I uh. I forgot to wear green today. Which wouldn’t really be much of a thing, I normally wear greenish/bluish stuff, but I was getting dressed and happened to find a red shirt, and then I had some red socks, and well. i’m super black-and-red-themed today, very goth, sort of cute ok whatever, but like. Very not green.

well, nobody really notices what i wear, and if anyone tries to pinch me I’ll punch them, this is well-established in my personal history. just. ha. 

I keep thinking of the single daddies kiddos watching an anime like YOI. As it’s been established they watch anime when they’re older.

Like, how much it would mean to Eren, Mikasa, and Armin to see a couple like their parents. Eren and Armin getting to see gay protagonists like themselves as well.

Armin totally crying after episodes 7, 9, and 10. Eren doesn’t usually watch anime like YOI, but totally gets into it. Even debates with people online who argue the kiss or proposal didn’t actually happen. Mikasa convincing Levi to watch th show with them.

Levi and Erwin getting a little emotional in private, because look how far things have come for people like them since they were teenagers.

So yeah. They’d totally watch YOI and get very excited by it.