penthouse antics

“I must say it’s actually quite an enjoyable experience.”

“Most of these kind young ladies inhabiting the estate go quite out of their way to show kindness to a doddering old man. It’s a fine show of their upbringing.”

“Meredy brought tea!”

“And I made fruit sandwiches!”

“Do you need another cushion for your chair?”

“You see? Such wonderful treatment for a kindly old veteran. I consider myself rather fortunate.”

“…”

“Hey, you. Quick. Teach me how to be old!”

“Yeah, sure. I got a couple lessons for ya.”

Dear Anonymous,

Eh, Repede ain’t exactly a shoo-in for the beauty portion.

Hrrrgh!

Watch your mouth or I’ll forget to buy kibble.

I don’t think cheagles are a recognized breed in most animal shows, so Mieu’s probably out.

Tear says I’m too “professionally cute” to compete with “amateurs”, anyway, mieu!

Well, I guess I could try to enter Noishe in something if I can just-

*whine*

H-hey! Get back here!

Man, isn’t there anyone who has a pet that could qualify for a contest?

I know a guy who has some cats.

So many cats….

On second thought maybe we shouldn’t talk to that guy. I think he has a problem.

Ludger and Daddy can teach anyone to cook!

It’s easy when you get the hang of it, I’m sure they can learn if they try.

I can’t promise my level of skill, but at the very least I’m sure I can assure competence.

Excellent, I brought these lemons.

*One Hour Later*

Oh dear, not again.

EVERYTHING IS BURNING!

Clearly this was a mistake.

“As things stand presently, no. It has rather… exact specifications.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Simply that one has to meet a certain level of criteria before I purposefully avoid them, like those that Leia’s mother present.”

“If you mean you don’t like scary ladies, I can think of one you should put on that list.”

“While I’m certain you mean well, Elle, I don’t believe you should–”

“Lloyd Irving, you will get back there this instant, even if you force me to drag you back myself!”

“Wait, Professor Sage! No! NOOOOO!”

“…I believe I see what you mean. Perhaps I should re-evaluate my assessments.”

Dear theredfeed,

“Have”?

Yeah, this guy tends to brood over that a lot, so we don’t talk much about sister with him. I mean, I feel sorry for him, but it’s a huge downer, ya know?

SHIRLEEEEEEYYYYYYY!

Dude, volume! Ugh, my poor ears….

Leon and I also have sisters.

Yours tried to kill you and I hardly even know mine, so if it’s all the same I’ll stay out of this dysfunctional frat.

I don’t do anything to maintain it… Is it not a natural hair color in your world?

I find that possibility absurd. I’ve never heard of a world where blue is an unnatural hair color.

It’s normal on Terca Lumireis as well.

And Aselia. It seems more common among people with elven blood, but it’s definitely not unusual for humans, like me and Regal.

Inferia and Celestia as well. I’m also baffled by the idea of a world where it isn’t normal. The person who sent this letter must come from a strange place.

Dear Anonymous,

Wait, we have a director?

It’s a long story. We’re pretty sure Zelos is crazy.

If this is a ritual undertaken by “boy groups”, it would seem I am to be excluded.

Actually you should probably take this one. I’m not much of a dancer. I’m light on my feet, but I don’t really know how to use it unless I’m punching things.

Look, I ain’t got a clue what all this jabber about “directors” and “games” and “screentime” is, but if the goal is to get it over with I know just the song.

This one.