penny licks

maybe when we are gone
you can have our bedrooms as your own
and we can’t seem to find a stable table so we’ll just
take our eggs and we’ll be on our way
and when we pay your tolls
you should pay us a compliment like
“you have lovely eyes”
or “your bone structure is quite exquisite”

we will crane our necks
we do not wish to make a baby
we will crane our necks
we were not built to raise this city up
we will crane our necks
we do not wish to start a family
we will crane our necks
we were not made to build this city up
we will crane our necks

Every Me And Every You - Ten

It was a good few weeks before you and Reid were able to make plans to play again. One of those weeks had been spent on a case in Seattle, and when your down time had come around, Spencer had already had plans to visit his Mom for the weekend.

You’d been more disappointed that you thought you would have been and as you’d dropped Spencer off at his apartment on the way home that nignt, he’d noticed.

“Hey, next two days we get off are ours okay.”


“And use the weekend. I’m betting you’ve not played with any of the things I’ve bought you have you?”

You hadn’t and you told him so.

“Okay so tomorrow, when you’re doing your housework, try doing it with the eggs in. You’ll need to lube them up to get them in, unless of course you have a play before hand. And tomorrow night, I’ll be back at my hotel by 8pm, it’ll be 11pm here. You can always call me and I can talk you through doing some things.”


“Yes…. Things.”

“Crap…. When you told me you’d be out of town, I made plans to go out with Penny and Emily.”

He licked his lips, thinking.

“Okay. Well, we could still play a game of sorts if you like?”

“We can? I’m not fucking going out wearing those love eggs inside of me Spencer.”

“Not with those two you’re not. I meant more of a power game. I tell you what to wear, what to eat and what to drink.”


“I won’t be able to keep checking my phone all night though, they’ll get suspicious.”

“That’s fine, I’ll only require updates every thirty minutes. We can set a rule. If you don’t text every thirty minutes, that’s one strike of punishment against you for next time.”

“Spanking again?”

“Not necessarily. I might add them up and turn them into a larger punishment. Like five strikes equals an hour of you sitting naked with your legs spread, not be allowed to move or speak. Or five strikes would equal one flog. Or maybe, ten strikes would equal half an hour of you riding my mouth.”

You bite your lip feeling that familiar throbbing between your legs.

“How… How is that punishment for me?”

It certainly didn’t sound like it would be.

“Punishment doesn’t always equal something painful Y/N. Just something that not everyone likes to do. You’d be surprised at how many girls would balk at the term ‘sit on my face’. But…. Have you ever had so many orgasms that it’s become painful? Because it definitely can. I’m not sure I could make that happen in thirty minutes but I’ll give it my best shot.”

You guessed he was right. You’d always associated punishment with pain when you were thinking about the BDSM scene. But thinking back to when you were a kid and did some thing wrong punishment then didn’t always equal a smack. In fact it rarely did. More often than not, it was a removal of your dessert or being told to go to bed at an earlier time or having your favourite toys taken away from you. As you got older it meant having your cell confiscated or being grounded.

“So erm, say if I miss the thirty minute deadline a lot, would that mean that I wouldn’t be allowed to go out with Pen and Emily again for a while?” you asked trying to be coy.

“You’re catching on quickly Y/N. That’s exactly what might happen. I need to go, there’s an earlier flight I can get on this evening if I hurry, and you’re proving to be a distraction. I’ll text you tomorrow okay.”


And he had, at around 11am when you’d got back from grocery shopping you had a message from him.

“Got those eggs in yet Agent Y/L/N?”

You hadn’t, but only because you’d been out of the house.

“Not yet, I’ve been running errands. And please don’t call me Agent when you’re talking about stuff like that. It’s been easy working with you so far, and you’re the one who said you didn’t like blurring the lines.”

Not only would it blur the lines, but if he started calling you Agent, you’d end up calling him Dr Reid and for some reason you’d already found that hot before this little…. whatever this was had started.

“Apologies, point taken. Are you home now then? If so, put them in.”

“How will you know if I do or don’t?”

“That can be applied to the whole of today. How will I know if you wear what I tell you, or eat and drink what I say later. Trust. I trust you to behave.“

Behave… Because if you didn’t….

You shivered.

You took your phone into your bedroom and opened the draw you’d piled all of the items he’d bought you into, searching for the love eggs and the lubricant he’d slipped into the basket.

Pulling your jeans and underwear off you sat on your bed and assessed them, reading the instructions.

Okay. Wash them first. Back up off the bed and into your bathroom, washing the silicone balls with warm soapy water and carefully drying them. Back to your bed.

The instructions suggested that inexperienced woman lie down to insert them, and to be careful with the amount of lube you used. After all, the easier they go in, the easier they’ll come out.


Although Spencer had referred to them as love eggs, they were actually more spherical in shape, reminding you of the old stress balls which people would hold in the palms of their hands and rotate. Except these were connected by a pull cord and one was heavier than the other

The instructions advised to insert the none weighted ball first, followed by the heavier one.

You pumped a small amount of lubricant into your palms and rubbed them together, before rubbing the eggs between your hands. See how you go with this much, you can always add more.

Laying back, you spread your legs and pushed gently.

The feeling was weird, almost like something you shouldn’t be doing alone, but you managed to push them in without too much discomfort, the cord hanging loose.

The instructions said to practice your kegal exercises laying down first to get used to the sensation.

Alright. You did, squeezing the muscles you’d use if you needed to stop peeing mid flow.


The squeezing pushed the balls against your sweet spot, sending a pleasant sensation through your core.

People went out wearing these?

Okay… Let’s try to walk around.

You sat up carefully and pulled your underwear and jeans back on. They didn’t slip out when you stood up but you felt definite movement and as you started to walk you were sure you could hear them knocking against each other.

Paranoia perhaps?

“They’re in. It feels weird.” You texted Reid.

“Good girl. Have fun and let me know when you’re getting ready for later.”

You got on with your afternoon, tidying the house and putting away your laundry.

When you were sitting down, you could barely feel them. It was no more noticeable than when you wore tampons when you actually had the occasional period.

When you were walking around and vacuuming for example, there were a few instances where you’d grabbed the edge of a table or chair as they knocked into each other or against a certain sensitive area inside of you. If you felt them slipping, you squeezed on and off a few times and that seem to push them higher, but each time you squeezed, there was that sensation again, juddering against your g spot.

How people wore these all day long and didn’t end up a quivering mess you didn’t know.

When it got to four o clock, you lay back down on your bed and texted Reid to say you were taking them out as you needed a bath and to start getting ready. You were meeting Garcia at an Italian restaurant at seven, and Emily was picking you up on the way.

“Okay. Do something for me? Take a picture of them and send it to me before you wash them.”

Huh? Why?

It became clear though as you pulled them out and then lay them on your bed. The silicone coating was glistening, from your own personal lubricant.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

You took a picture and sent it.

Taking them into the bathroom with you, you dropped them into the sink and filled it, before running a hot bath and climbing in.

Spencer’s reply came twenty minutes later as you were washing your hair.

“I’m very jealous of those eggs, Y/N.”

Fucking hell, man. You almost dropped the phone in the tub.

Pushing it far out of dangers way you combined on with your bathing regime, getting out and wrapping yourself in a towel, smelling of the coconuts body wash you’d used.

Going into your bed room, you surveyed your closet before remembering that Spencer was dictating your outfit to to tonight.

“So what am I wearing then?” You messaged him again.

“If this is your attempt at starting kinky phone sex, I believe it’s meant to start with me asking you to describe what you’re wearing, with the answer hopefully being nothing.”

“No you douche, tonight. What am I wearing tonight?”


“Are we playing?”

“If there’s strikes to be earnt this evening then I’d say yes. But to make things clear, we’ll start when you get to the restaurant okay.”

“Good, so I can call you a douche up until then.”

“I suppose.”

“Lol. Now what am I wearing tonight?”

The reply came a few minutes later.

“Do you still have the jade coloured sundress you were to Rossi’s Fourth of July party two years ago?”

“I do.”

“That, with that black cardigan with the green buttons you wear to work sometimes. Sheer black panty hose and your black heels with the silver buckle. The matching green bra and panty set we bought. Wear your hair half up, half down with simple make up, no lip stick only clear gloss. Pictures please.”

“I thought I was only supposed to wear them with you?”

“You wear them when I tell you to and I’m telling you to. It’s either them, or no underwear. And that dress is pretty thin material.”

“I’ll wear them. I’ll send a picture when I’m done.”

You got ready, blow drying and straightening your hair and following his instructions. When you were done you surveyed yourself in the mirror. He had pretty good taste, you looked nice.

You took a few photos, one of you fully clothed, and another two showing the underwear you were wearing, your dress lifted up and the v of the top half pulled down to prove you’d followed his instructions to the t. You pressed send, just as your buzzer signalling that Prentiss was outside sounded.

Collecting your purse you went down to meet Emily, climbing into the cab besides her.


“Hey! You look nice,” she greeted you.

“Thanks, so do you.” You felt your phone buzz, tilting the screen slightly when you saw it was Spencer.

“Very nice. Beautiful and sexy in fact. Just remember one thing. Whilst we’re embarking on this little road to discovery, you are mine. You’ll attract attention dressed as you are, because you look stunning. But until you call this off, I’m the only one who will be allowed near your body, I’m the only one who you can think about fucking, the only one who is allowed to make you come other than yourself. You are mine. Understood?”

Loud and clear.



“Good. Now let me know when you’re at the restaurant. I’ll expect a text every thirty minutes, even if it’s just a message to say ‘checking in’. That will do. Miss a check in and that’s a strike. Understood?”

“Understood.” You locked you phone and slipped it back into your bag.

“Everything okay? You look a bit flushed.” Emily commented.

“Fine! All good. Just a little warm.” You made a show of winding down the window slightly.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

rubbertapping  asked:

hey what do toy car wheels taste like please tell me

like most metal tastes like that tangy metal taste u know. like have u ever licked a penny its like that. i just swallowed them whole like pills Could Not tell u why i did this

brendon periscope recap (3/9)
  • “gonna watch some netflix and chill”
  • “i’ve already binged on house of cards so i’m done with that”
  • brendon literally thanks penny lane for licking his face and then leaves for like five minutes to get her a treat
  • “‘i’m praying for you’ pray for me. appreciate it. i aint praying for me. pray for me, i appreciate it. thank you.”
  • brendon sneezes and goes “oh sorry” at the same time and then goes, “that was a cartoon sneeze.”
  • on bloody valentine: “thats not a real—none of that singing or writing was real. it’s an experiment. it had no purpose to it.” then explains that the lyrics were just to have words in place, and that he really likes the music.
  • “god i used to love playing soccer. until i got a little older and was like that’s too much running.”
  • someone says they’re stressed from homework: “i wouldn’t stress too hard. it’s just homework. i’m not saying it doesn’t suck. you’ll be fine. you’ll be good.”
  • “disney land? I love disney land. it’s the best.”
  • is still working even if he says he was done, and then ends the scope so he can work some more
brendon’s short little periscope recap 6/30
  • brendon politely says “thank you” to penny when she licks him and then proceeds to go “you smell like shit”
  • about the talking in the beginning of hallelujah is: “jake and i were in the studio and we were just talking and he hit record—about how the album should sound.” he was telling him how to sing it like sinatra.
  • brendon’s favourite curse word is “fuck”. “it’s what i use the most, and it’s very interchangeable”
  • when asked to do his mom voice: “it’s gotta happen organically”
  • in middle school, brendon was offered to go to a high school because of jazz band. and then in high school he was offered a spot at berkeley if he stayed in band, but he quit
  • “am i talented or handsome? neither.”

Maybe when we’re gone, you can have our bedroom
And we can’t seem to find a stable table
so we’ll just take our eggs and we’ll be on our way
and when we pay our tolls, you should pay us a compliment like
“you have lovely eyes” or “your bone structure is quite exquisite.”

We will crane our necks
We do not wish to make a baby
We will crane our necks
We were not built to raise this city up
We will crane our necks
We do not wish to start a family
We will crane our necks
We were not made to build this city up
We will crane our necks

anonymous asked:

You should totally start watching Carmilla. Just sayin.

Idk, just being on tumblr, I feel like I watch it through osmosis. Like, I could probably recap all of Season 2 for you at this point. Actually, let me try:

Carmilla Season 2 Recap by Someone who has Never Watched an Episode of Carmilla

(and who is too lazy to do basic research about it for the sake of this recap. Spoilers through the S2 finale).

Kay, so I know that Season 1 ended with Laura and Carmilla kissing in a dorm room. Good to see that out of the gate they are being stereotypical U-Haul lesbians.

Wow, there really doesn’t seem to be much of a focus on academics here

Did they like…bring their friends into their sex palace with them? This is the dean’s house right? And that was Carmilla’s mom. I’m so good at this.

This Danny person is not into this dudebro.

Who are these two other gingers? Perry and LaFountaine, right? What are they doing? They’re Scully and Mulderish, right?

Carmilla and Laura banged. Judging by the number of gifsets, this must be a very important plot-point.

Hey this Mattie chick showed up and is Carmilla’s sister and apparently part of the school’s administration? Okay.

Is she like, trying to be the new dean? Someone has to do it I guess.

Now there’s some old dude who reminds me of Vizzini from The Princess Bride. He’s on “the board”? Is that what’s happening?

Seriously, is the plotline of this season literally lesbian vampires have to deal with the high ed bureaucracy?

Keep reading