pencil-twirling

2

School threatens to suspend 13 yr old for twirling a pencil… then NJ Child Services threatens to put the kid up for adoption unless Father takes the kid to unnecessary psychological counselling because of pencil twirling.

A 13-year-old boy was the most famous kid in school for a few weeks.

A simple pencil-twirling incident landed Ethan Chaplin in hot water with his school, which threatened to suspend him after a classmate claimed he was spinning the writing utensil like a gun.

After media attention from PIX11 and around the world, school officials backed off — but child protection agencies did not.

Letters to Ethan’s father, Michael, show the school found his son did nothing wrong at all, and that there would be no disciplinary action. The superintendent was even confident the issue would be behind all of them.

And that’s exactly what happened, until Ethan’s father received startling communication from New Jersey’s Department of Child Protection and Permanency and Department of Children and Families.

“I received a letter from them saying they had found an incident of abuse or neglect regarding Ethan because I refused to take him for psychological evaluation,” Michael said.

In an effort to play along and clear his name, Michael agreed to take his son for an evaluation.

Ethan was seen by a social worker, and had his blood drawn and urine taken. In the end, no behavioral problem was found.

The state, it seems, is ignoring that set of testing, demanding further evaluation and threatening that if Michael doesn’t comply, they are will terminate his parental rights and free Ethan up for adoption.

http://pix11.com/2014/06/10/nj-dad-says-state-is-threatening-to-take-away-son-after-pencil-twirling-incident/

It wasn’t a complex magic spell… it was very simple… She just had to twirl the pencil round and round… and softly rub her foot along him… he would do anything for Her… he had no choices anymore… as the magic made him Her little submissive slave… She knew She would get the highest marks this term

Best Night of Your Life (Luke Hemmings Imagine)

 "Hey babe,“ Luke slid into his seat in front of me, looking back to talk to me. "What Hemmings?” I rolled my eyes. Luke Hemmings and his stupid leather jacket and pretty fucking blue eyes. He sat in front of me in math and was constantly teasing me. Every girl at this school had a massive crush on him and his friends. But, he was also the biggest pain in my ass. “Nothing, you look pretty today,” he winked at me and turned around. My friend slid into the seat next to me, “Hey what time is your party at?” “Um, come over at like 6 but the party starts at like 10, my parents leave at 5,” I said, twirling my pencil around my finger. “A party and I’m not invited, I’m so offended,” Luke gasped, eavesdropping. “Yes, I don’t need you and your stoner friends to make my house smell like weed while my parents are gone.” “A party without your parents permission? Oh, so miss good girl isn’t so good?” Luke asked. “Mind your own business Lucas,” I grumbled. “You’re always so sweet to me, I love it,” he smirked turning back around. 

 "Fucking Luke Hemmings,“ I muttered to myself as I walked out of class. I felt someone brush against my back, "Calling for me princess?” Luke appeared next to my shoulder. “Always so charming,” I spoke under my breath. I stopped at my locker to put away my books. Luke leaned against the locker, his leather jacket sleeve falling down a bit to reveal his inked arm. “Can you just, not?” I asked as I shoved things into my locker. “I just love the positive vibe I get when I’m around you, you know? So refreshing,” Luke mused. Slamming my locker shut I looked up at him. “It’s my pleasure, Lucas, really,” I curtsied sarcastically. He followed me on my heels as I walked out to my car. “Do you need something?” I asked, growing impatient. “Sweetie, I always need something of yours, but it’s obvious I’m not getting it, so I’ll continue to annoy you until I do,” Luke slung his arm over my shoulders. “Well, it’s a good thing I just love being annoyed by you,” I grinned up at him. Luke rolled his eyes as we approached my car. “Bye Luke,” I wiggled my fingers at him as he headed off towards his car. “Fuck, why is he so damn hot?” I asked myself as I drove home.

 "Okay, which outfit do you like better?“ I asked my friend as we stood in my bedroom. One was a pair of high wasted, black, ripped skinny jeans with a sheer top and a sports bra underneath and some silver jewelry. The other was black disco pants and a maroon velvet cropped tank top. "Red,” she mumbled while scrolling through her phone. “It’s maroon, and you weren’t even looking,” I groaned, wiggling into my disco pants. “Yeah, but you’re disco pants make your butt look really good and I know you want to get laid tonight,” she smirked at me. Rolling my eyes I pulled the crop top on and brushed out my hair. “What is Hemmings shows up tonight?” She asked, standing up. “I don’t know, it depends on how drunk I am,” I said, smoothing out my top. “Right, that will change your mood,” she mumbled. “He’s going to be really lucky if I let him get in my pants tonight. I didn’t even invite him, so I doubt he’ll even come.”

 I had consumed a wee bit to much alcohol at this point, but my brain was only a little fuzzy. I was in the kitchen, pouring myself a shot when my friend clutched my arm. I spilled onto the counter, groaning I reached for a towel, “What?” “Guess who’s here.” “I don’t know, Jesus?” I guessed, wiping up the counter. “Hey princess,” Luke’s deep voice mumbled into my ear. I felt his hands on my waist. My friend disappeared and I was left facing Luke, stuck between him and the counter. “How high are you right now?” I asked. “Hello to you too, and only a little bit. Ashton didn’t want us to smoke all his weed in one night,” Luke sounded annoyed. “You poor thing, you can only kill half your remaining brain cells tonight,” I licked my lips, still very aware of the grip he had on my waist. My skin was on fire, his hands barely grazing the skin. “You alright babe?” He asked, aware of the fact that was melting under his touch. “Perfect,” I breathed. “Good,” he leaned in to press wet kisses along my neck. I let my head fall back, and Luke let his hands slid up the back of my top. “Come on,” he said, pulling back and reaching out his hand. Luke led me upstairs to my room, closing the door to block out the sound of the party downstairs. He pushed me back onto the bed, holding himself above me. He undid my pants, pulling them off while I pulled off my shirt. He pulled his shirt over his head and I ran my hands down his broad chest, playing with his belt. “Don’t be a tease,” he groaned. I smirked, undoing the buckle and sliding his jeans down his legs. He was already semi-hard and I palmed him through his jeans. “Fuck, don’t do that,” he moaned again. I bit my lip as he slid my underwear down my legs, dropping them on the floor. He kissed down my stomach, making his way to my heat. “You’re so wet for me babe, I thought you hated me,” he muttered, looking up at me. “I still do don’t worry,” I breathed as he licked up my heat. I moaned, clutching onto the sheets, “Fuck Luke.” I felt him smirk against my skin. “Keep going,” I urged him on as I reached my climax. Luke cleaned me up, brining himself back up to kiss me, hard. I tangled my hands in his hair and ran my fingers down his back. I moved one hand down to palm him again, but he stopped me, “I’m not going to last if you do that, let me have a go.” He kicked off his boxers, sliding a condom over his length. He held my arms above my head and pushed in, all the way, before pulling back out. Luke found his rhythm, and I was a moaning mess in seconds. Our hips met every time he thrusted down. “Fuck Y/N, I hate you so much,” he groaned, leaning down to suck at my neck. “The feelings-fuck- are mutual,” I moaned, arching up off the bed. “Loud enough for the whole party to hear you,” Luke groaned as I called out his name. I sighed as I came, Luke following shortly after me. He rolled over to lay on the bed next to me, both of us breathing ragged. “I don’t hate you that much you know,” Luke mutters, tracing shapes on my skin. “I guess you’re alright,” I mumbled. “Oh come on, you can’t resist me. I’m not blind,” Luke chuckled, turning onto his side. “Don;t get cocky on me now,” I warned him. “I kinda already did,” he smirked, winking at me. Rolling my eyes I grabbed his t-shirt from the floor, pulling it on. I reached for my underwear, but Luke was quicker. “I’m keeping these as a souvenir,” he laughed. “Go ahead, the best night of your life,” I winked. “Damn right." 

Non  harmful  stims

Playing with a stress ball
- Playing with a tangle
- Drumming your finger nails (works best if they’re long)
- Tapping a pen or pencil
- Twirling your hair around your fingers
- Swinging your foot back and forth
- Clicking your tounge
- Tapping your foot
- Playing with a bouncy ball
- clicking a pen
- playing with your ring
- chewing on a chewy neccklace or chewing gum
- crunching on ice cubes

Watching someone else use your body isn’t nearly as easy to adjust to as they make it sound. You’re watching your body move without conscious command controlling it. You can’t stop yourself from twirling the pencil, reaching for that last chocolate bar, settling down on the couch instead of doing homework. You feel like you should be able to move how you want to, but you can’t. You struggle to control yourself, but you can’t. You can’t stop yourself from yelling at a friend, telling someone you barely know about your childhood, drawing pictures of scenes that make you want to throw up. You gain skills that you’ll never be able to replicate on your own, and you feel like a fake for that. Your voice comes out as if you’re a child, and you feel like everyone around you must think that you’re mentally disabled. You’re crying and hiding under a table and you don’t even know why.
—  If-I-Were-To-Tell-The-Truth, “The Darker Side of DID”

“I do not understand this,” he twirled his pencil looking at his book, “Why is school work so dumb?” The thought of ‘why am I so dumb’ crossed his mind before he threw the pencil on the ground, it snapping in half. 

Burning

Characters: Dean x Reader

Words: 1116

Summary: Another dream on another night, this one bringing up more emotions than the first for both the reader and Dean.

Part 3 in Reincarnation Series. Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

I am loving writing this series, even more than I thought I would! This dream is a little different, but leads to some more emotions in Dean and the Reader. Let me know what you all think, and enjoy!

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Caught (Luke Hemmings Imagine)

*Smut*

“I don’t feel like doing this anymore,” Luke stated and slammed his math book shut.

“You have to! Final’s are next week,” you told him, twirling a pencil in between your fingers. Although to be honest, you would rather be doing anything else besides this.

The two of you were sprawled out on our boyfriend’s bed with multiple textbooks covering it. Finals were just a week away and you had hardly even studied and you were determined to do good on them this year. Luke scooted over next to you and snaked his arm around your waist, trying to distract you.

“I know what we can do instead,” he whispered and began planting kisses along your neck.

You tried to stay focused on your notes but Luke clearly had other things on his mind.
You tried to push him away but he was stronger than you so it was impossible. He placed a hand on top of your breast and began cupping it through your shirt and you could feel a wetness forming between your legs.

“Luke! Stop! You’re mom’s downstairs,” you hissed, pushing his hand away.

“Relax babe. We’ll just have to be quiet,” he whispered.

You threw your pencil down in frustration and closed your notes, allowing Luke to continue. He loudly pushed the textbooks off the bed to make space for the two of you and scooted up towards the head of the bed, sitting against the headboard. Climbing on top of him, you placed your legs on either side so that you were straddling him and he placed his hands on your thighs.

He brought his lips on yours, kissing you eagerly. You gently tugged on his lip ring, knowing that it drove him crazy, and he slightly parted his lips allowing your tongue to explore his mouth.

You placed your hand on the crotch of his jeans, feeling his growing hard on. You ran your hand along his length and he let out a moan. His fingertips brushed against the hem of your shirt and he placed his hands on your hips, creating small circles with his thumbs.

His hands worked their way under your shirt and up towards your breasts and under your bra. He cupped your breasts and sucked on your nipple while playing with other one. You let out a moan and he switched. Reaching down you unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and pulled the waist of his boxers down just enough to expose him. His length slapped against his toned stomach and you ran a finger along the vein.

Luke pushed aside the bottom of your shorts and ran two fingers along your throbbing core only being separated by your underwear.

“So wet,” he commented and pushed aside your underwear.

He slid two fingers into you and moved them, almost instantly finding your sweet spot. You began kissing Luke harder, desperate for more. He leaned over towards the night stand, careful not to break the kiss, and pulled opened the drawer, grabbing a condom, while knocking several to the floor in the process. He handed it to you and you opened it and rolled it down his length. You placed your hand on his arm and he pulled his fingers out. He grabbed a hold of his length and positioned himself at your opening. You slide onto him, gasping.

You allowed yourself to adjust to his size before you started rolling your hips. You buried your head in his shoulder, gasping from the pleasure you were feeling.

“Mmmm babe, you feel so good,” Luke commented and placed his hands on your waist, helping you roll your hips.

You continued slowly rolling your hips, feeling his length hit your g spot and you closed your eyes allowing the pleasure to take over your body.

“Luke, I-I’m close!” you gasped, feeling the familiar knotting sensation in your stomach.

Luke wrapped an arm around you and expertly flipped you on your back so that he was on top. Lifting your legs up, you wrapped them around his waist, instantly allowing him to go deeper. He started thrusting quickly and you heard the bed start to squeak. The two of you had made it this far and you wanted to be able to finish without getting caught.

“S-Slower,” you breathed.

His thrusting became slower and he placed two fingers against your clit. He quickly began rubbing it and you felt your walls clench around him. You let out a gasp as your vision became blurry from Luke sending you over the edge. With two more thrusts, Luke let out a moan as he released into the condom.

“Luke, is Y/N stay–” his mom said, opening the door and walking into the room. “Oh my god!” She quickly put her hand in front of her face, blocking the two of you from her vision and backed up towards the door as quickly as possible.

“MOM!” Luke shouted as she quickly shut the door behind her.

Luke pulled out of you and rolled the condom off, tossing it into the trashcan next to the bed. His face was bright red and you knew your’s was just as red. He laid next to you and you placed your hand in his and laced your fingers together.

“We need to lock the door next time,” he whispered and smiled looking over at you.

“Defiantly,” you replied, smiling.

Pairing: Shizuo/Izaya
Theme: high school!au: oblivious (insp)

Shizuo liked to watch Izaya.

He liked to watch him when he was just doing homework, brow knit at a particularly hard problem. He liked to watch him when he was studying, looking bored and twirling a pencil between his fingers. He liked to watch him when he was playing video games, face ranging from annoyance to apathetic to smirking. He liked to watch Izaya and note his expressions, make a note about what made him smile, what made him upset.

He liked noticing his small habits, how he’d kept his chopsticks on his right, always, and fork on his left, usually not touching it. How he kept his folders and binders organized by the colors of the rainbow, clicking his tongue if Shizuo put one back in the wrong place.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya would say, catching him staring once in a while, “what’s wrong?”

There really wasn’t a way for Shizuo to tell Izaya that he was in love with him, that he’d fallen to the first-love-in-high-school and first-love-being-his-best-friend thing, both wrapped into one. He wasn’t sure how Izaya would react and was a bit too scared to find out.

Izaya wasn’t dating, and Shizuo was glad for that. But it could easily because Shizuo had a habit of keeping an arm around Izaya, the other male having long given up on telling Shizuo to not being so weirdly and openly affectionate. He’d glare at anyone that looked at Izaya twice and rest his chin on top of his head, tell everyone that Izaya was his through actions alone.

I’m in love with you.

Shizuo shook his head and murmured ‘just tired’ and rubbed his eyes, heart skipping a beat when Izaya raised his book, extending a silent invitation. Giving a small smile, he shifted to lay down, giving a relaxed sigh and feeling Izaya rest his book gently on his head.

I love you.

Mm… Shizu-chan really needs to sleep more at night.”

Title: Peter Parker’s Day Off (daughter of Clint! x Peter)

Summary: Peter Parker and Clint’s daughter ‘sneak out’ to go to a high school party, with Natasha covering, of course.

Word Count: 2032

A/N: I’m back with another Peter Parker imagine! guysss I love Peter Parker and THIS so much. The title is totally inspired by Ferris Bueller. Okay, enough chit chat. This one’s a bit long…Enjoy! 

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Stiles Was Wrong - Liam Dunbar

Originally posted by animeswim

Request Here: http://thewalkingdeadimaginez.tumblr.com/ask


He was staring at her again. From the back of class, he was staring at her. It wasn’t a bad thing, at least not to him. There was something odd about her, something that wasn’t right. She was gorgeous, a real beauty, but something was off. She had to be something, she just had to be.
Liam wasn’t sure though. He didn’t want to put a label on her or jump to conclusions, but the truth was the truth. She wasn’t human. She had this scent to her, she always smelled like the woods. He just wanted to believe that she spent her time outside, but Scott didn’t.
He looked away when she looked back at him. She had looked back at him, trying to find who was looking at her. She couldn’t single out anyone, so she turned back to the front of the class. She started to twirl her pencil again.
Liam looked back at the front of the class, glancing at her again before focusing on the lesson. He didn’t have the guts to talk to her, she was just too good for him. She was the sophomore version of Lydia Martin.
When class ended, the made his way out quickly so that he could get to his locker. It was on the other side of the school and he had to be quick to get to his next class which was on upstairs. He was rushing through the halls, passing by people without a problem.
He made it to his locker, where Stiles was waiting. He looked at him as he opening his locker. “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” Stiles started, pushing himself off the locker he had been leaning against, “that girl you were talking about, the little (Y/H/C) girl you like-“
“I don’t like her.” Liam cut him off defensively. He looked away from Stiles and grabbed his stuff from his locker. He stuffed his books in his bag.
“Okay, whatever you say.” Stiles said. “Anyway, I think I know what she is.”
“And that is?” Liam asked, looking at the older teen. He raised an eyebrow in question with a mix of ‘are-you-serious?’
“An earth elemental.” Stiles said, smiling smugly.
“Really?” He asked, trying to figure out why he was talking to Stiles when he could be getting to class. “Never mind, I have to go.” He said and ran off.
Stiles watched him, then turned to close the young beta’s locker. He walked to class himself.
Liam ran through the halls, trying his hardest not to run into anyone. When he thought he dropped something, he looked back, his feet not stopping. In that moment, he ran into someone, tacking them to the floor.
He felt something against his head, something soft. He opened his eyes and saw what he had landed on, or who. He blushed red and pushed himself up, looking at (Y/N). She was staring at him. His face had been in her chest.
“I am so sorry.” He said. He scrambled off of her and started grabbing his stuff off the floor. He was glad that things weren’t scattered everywhere.
“Um, yeah.” (Y/N) said and sat up. Liam cursed himself under his breath. He smelt blood. The halls were clearing, people caring more about class then one of the most popular girls in school being on the floor.
Liam looked at (Y/N), noticing the small cut in front of her ear. He watched her touch it, then she winced. He reached over and used his hoodie sleeve to wipe away the blood.
(Y/N) looked at him, staring at him. “I’m okay.” She said and reached up into her locker for something. She grabbed a miniature first aid kit and opened it. She then waved his hand away and grabbed some cotton swabs and medical tape.
He helped her, putting the tape over the cotton to hold it there. “Won’t people stare?” He asked her, grabbing his stuff and putting it back in his bag. They were late, but he wanted to make sure she was okay.
“Not if they don’t see it.” She said and pulled the hair tie out her hair. She moved her locks of (Y/H/C) hair over the covered wound. “There.”
The two then helped each other up and walked to class together. They got in and it turned out that they were doing a project that required partners. They were the last ones there, so they had to be partners.

“Dude, you get to be her partner, which means you get to figure out if she’s an earth elemental” Stiles said as they stood around his jeep. Hayden looked at him, shaking her head.
“How are you so sure that she’s even a supernatural being?” She asked.
“She’s right.” Liam said, looking at Stiles. “You could be wrong.”
“Then prove me wrong.” Stiles said, opening the driver’s door. “But when I’m right, I’ll gladly say ‘I told you so’ and laugh.” He said and hopped in.
Liam rolled his eyes and he and Hayden climbed into the back of the jeep. Scott then followed, having had been silent during the whole ordeal.
The alpha looked over the parking lot of the school, seeing the girl of topic coming out of the school. He watched her pull her hair up, seeing the cotton swabs on the side of her face. He couldn’t drop the fact that she was something, he just knew she was something.

“So what’s this paper about?” Liam asked, looking over at (Y/N) as she was sat on her bed. She had her laptop on her lap and was searching up stuff. She looked hot, he had to admit it.
“That you think I’m hot.” She said and looked up from her screen to look at him. She smirked at him.
“Are you a mind reader?” He asked, pointing toward her.
“No, you said that out loud.” She said and pat the spot beside her on the bed.
Liam was hesitant, but got up from her desk chair and sat beside her on the bed. He looked at her, then the computer. She was only in a pair of basketball shorts and tank top, but she made it look good. Really good.
“So, what’s this paper?” He asked, looking over what she had searched.
“Mythology.” She said and looked at him. “I was thinking either werewolves or goblins.” She said and looked back at her laptop. She had a page open in her browser for werewolves.
Liam was a little nervous, but he wouldn’t show it. He didn’t want to do werewolves, but it would be so much easier for him to do, for more than one reason. He looked over the page and nodded. “Yeah, werewolves.”
“Cool.” She said and put the laptop aside. She turned to him and smirked at him. “Now come here.” She said and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He became flustered, staring down at her in shock. He was speechless, in all honesty. He had never even thought it was possible for her to even notice him. “Um, shouldn’t we be starting that paper?” He asked nervously.
“I want you to be my first kiss, Liam.” She said and looked up at him, smiling sweetly. “I really like you.”
Liam was yet again shell shocked. “What?”
“I like you.” He heard her say. That was all he needed to heat. He wanted to kiss her, despite what he told Stiles. He really did like her.
Their lips molded together in perfect sync. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her, not too close but not too far away either. He pulled back after a moment, opening his eyes. What he saw wasn’t what he expected.
Her skin was blue and smooth. Her hair was short and cut choppily. The cotton swabs and medical tape was still stuck to her face. When her eyes opened, they was a light lavender color. He pulled his arms back from around her, staring at her wide eyed.
“Was I that bad?” (Y/N) asked and looked at him weirdly. She then looked at her hand and jumped off the bed. Her skin shifted, looking as though it was flipping over it a sense. It was its peachy color again and her hair was the length it had been before. Her eyes were (Y/E/C) again.

“Liam.”
“What are you?” He asked her, staring at her. He didn’t know what she was, but he knew one thing. Stiles was wrong.
“I don’t know. I was just … born like this.” She said and sat on the bed. Her skin flipped again to the blue color, her hair choppy and her eyes were purple. She looked down sadly.
“I get it if you want to leave and never talk to me again.”
Liam looked at her. The blue was really pretty. He looked down at her hand, then at his own. He bit his lip, then grew out his claws and took a hold of her hand.
She looked at him, and at that point his eyes were yellow, he had fangs and hair just about all over him. She was shocked. She scooted closer to him, caressing his cheek gently. “A werewolf?” She asked and looked back at her laptop, then back at him.
He ran a hand through her hair and pulled her closer to him gently, a hand on her waist. He pulled her into a kiss, closing his eyes. He wrapped his arm around her waist again and smiled when she kissed him back.
She didn’t really care if it felt a little weird. She was kissing the guy of her dreams. He was smart and athletic. He was also adorable and funny and caring. He was also like her, something else.
The rest of their Friday night was fun (I’ll leave that to your imagination) and then the weekend was spent working on their paper.

At school the following Monday, the new couple was standing at her locker. They were stood side by side, their arms hidden behind them. Their hands were interlocked, hers her real skin color and his with his claws out.
The rest of Scott’s pack was coming down the hall, talking about something another when Kira saw the two love birds. She nudged her boyfriend and pointed the two out to the rest of them.
“I knew it.” Mason called out lowly, watching his best friend.
“We all knew it.” Hayden said and shook her head as she playfully rolled her eyes.
Liam looked over to his friends and pack. He smiled at them and waved them over.
“So this is the alpha?” (Y/N) asked, looking at Scott. She was more or less impressed. Liam had told her everything he knew about his pack, every last detail.
Scott looked at his beta in shock. “You told her?” He asked, not really happy that he wasn’t consulted about the choice that threatened their lives.
“I had to, in order to help her.” Liam said, smiling at his girlfriend. He brought their hands out and kissed the back of her blue hand. At her wrist it faded away to its peachy color, the color she preferred in public. “Oh, and Stiles, you were wrong.”
Stiles was staring at the blue hand, then watched in fear and interest as it changed color to match the rest of her skin. He looked at the (Y/E/C) eyed girl in shock.
The bell rang and Liam and (Y/N) started to walk to class, the two looking like normal teens. (Y/N) turned a halfway and blew them a kiss. She was glad there were more people that were different.

Out of all the people in my life,
I had to get stuck on you.

I wake up every morning
thinking about what you eat for breakfast
(toast? a bagel?
or do you prefer something fresh and sweet,
like fruit? or maybe eggs?
I don’t ask),
how you hold your fork,
and how your wrist turns
when you open the door.

At school, I study your face
like I should have studied my vocabulary words,
But I was too busy memorizing the bump on your nose,
the exact tones of your cat bell sounds
(there are lots of keys,
but I know yours by the tones
and twinkles in your gait),
and how you twirl your pencil between
your middle and index finger.

At night, I close my eyes
and see the color of your faded roots,
and how your pants fit,
and how many times I have to sigh
for you to look at me.

I’m not in love with you.
I’m not.
I don’t get to fall in love.
I just get stuck.
I got stuck on you like I get stuck
on the number 10,
or the the last word of a sentence that
just keeps refreshing in my brain’s hard drive,
or the image of a man grabbing me
that invades my head
when you’re not running through it.

I’m still stuck on you,
and that frustrates me,
because the version of you that I see when I close my eyes
(the one that cares, loves, and thinks about me),
is not the same as the one I see with them open

—  you frustrate and ignore me, but I’m still stuck on you