On Top Of Old Smokey (Work Dreams)

I was in the CEO’s office in a highrise overlooking the city as he droned on and on to me and his army of accountants and VPs about a series of dates and expenses. The landscape out the window started scrolling down down down like an old video game while we stayed stationary at the center. I experienced an intense form of vertigo and was unable to get up out of my chair as the floor was moving further and further away. The accountants began lunging for me and I tumbled out of my chair as if I was in zero gravity. An army of supermodels strode in wearing ridiculous cleavage-revealing grey sports jackets. We were all frozen in baby-like wonder as the women removed their coats, left wearing nothing but grey pencil skirts and red peep-toe heels. I knew one of the women and that seemed to break the spell over me. She smiled and proclaimed with wonder. “Look at my amazing tits aren’t they great!” She squeezed em together and said, “Wow! Touch ‘em! My nipples feel like cat noses!” I eagerly reached out but my earlier vertigo regained its rhythm and backward I fell into a bottomless grave until all was black. I performed a flawless 1 ½ gainer with a twist and the light rebounded.

I was in my boss’s office surrounded by piles of paper. “I haven’t told anyone this,” my boss said, “but we have to close the office.” He seemed lost. His job was his entire life. I reached out to him, but he tried to kiss me and I tumbled past him out the door and down the hall. 

Again, I found myself in the CEOs office. My ex-girlfriend was there and she was dressed for Kabuki (Uchikake) and excitedly told me how we are all, in fact, one consciousness. She went on and on about it and as she approached I could tell that she was just really fucking high and I said, “You’re not enlightened. You’re just really fucking high.” and her face fell flustered and she looked lost.

I rolled out of the office to an alcove where a few of my coworkers were sitting at a table eating piles of donuts. I sat down to begin the ritualistic consumption when the CEO ran out of his office in his heart-covered boxers.“She’s dead! She’s dead” he said. I ran into the office and saw my ex there laying face down on the floor. I calmly gave her the Heimlich maneuver and she spit up a bunch of pills, that upon closer inspection were just little pieces of pill-shaped paper covered with numbers.

If you’re my Romeo then I’ll happily drink the poison: Prologue (Royalty!AU/Prince!AU)

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Hey guys. Thank you so much for reading my first headcanon and giving it so much love. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out! Here’s a new story that will be updated probably once a week. I’m not sure how many parts there will be yet but most chapters will be longer than this, this is just a taste of what’s to come. I hope you guys enjoy it, feel free to give me feedback and all that good stuff.

Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4


Word Count: 1634

Warnings: Mentions of sexuality, also swearing possibly. TBH, I swear so much that when I read them I forget if they’re swears or just normal words.

“Let’s hope Prince Charming isn’t as uptight as his parents,” You groan, slipping into the backseat of one of the families bulletproof cars. You removed the bulky Celine sunglasses tasked with shielding your face from prying eyes and camera flashes. Even when your family tried to leave in secret at 5 AM, people still seemed camped outside the gates trying to get a look inside. Your brother sat next to you while your mother sat across from you after the two were done giving a couple of smiles to the camera. 

“Please don’t offend them,” Your mother said removing her own sunglasses. She was a beautiful woman, classic and modern at the same time. She wore a black cotton button up, with dark wash jeans and peep toe heels. Even traveling she managed to stay effortlessly beautiful. Meanwhile, you attempted to look put together in your Adidas tracksuit, Fenty bow slides and with your hair thrown up into a ponytail. Your mother had attempted to coax you to get you a bit earlier for prep, but you didn’t want to get dolled up for a day of being in the car. Easily you could have taken the private jet and sliced this trip down to 45 minutes, but you were in no rush to get to your destination. Your mother didn’t even appear tired. As you like to call it her ‘Queenly glow’ always shrouded her and made her looked perfect. One day you hoped to be just like her when you were Queen. 

Ah, when you were Queen. A dream you had your whole life, but as you aged the dream was sullied. The first thing standing in your way was your older brother. He was probably your best friend even though he constantly got on your nerves. The competition between the two of you was healthy. You would never purposely do anything to ruin his chances as King, even though you wanted the throne yourself. 

The second issue was that around the time you were 3 years old your father made a deal with the kingdom of Azure. Azure and Cadiella, your kingdom, were never in the best of terms. Books detailed the constant power struggle between the two. Your parents wanted to dissolve the tension. The agreement was an arranged marriage in exchange for peace. They were offering you a place as Queen in exchange for resources. Once you were successfully married off trade barriers would open, both kingdoms would thrive, relations would be improved, and all that other good stuff. Bullshit, utter bullshit.

You couldn’t blame your parents for wanting to put this to rest after centuries, but at the same time how were they so naive? Azure was known for being incredibly ruthless and opulent. They only care about themselves in their own bubble. You enjoyed the finer things in life, but these people were on a whole different level. You saw how the Royals were. The Princes wore Rolexes while playing basketball. There were parties hosted at the castle what seemed to be every week so they could show off all they had. Pictures had been leaked from the princes private Snapchats showcasing how ostentatious they behaved. It was vastly different than your more reserved kingdom, where parties were only thrown when tradition mandated. And to think you were about to be thrown right into this. Every day got you closer to being Queen Holland of Azure and it felt like a death sentence.

“Mother, would I offend my lovely inlaws? Ooh maybe I could talk about how one of their sons was caught in the middle of a ceremony getting blown by a maid,” You asked innocently batting your lashes.

If looks could kill, you’d be a pile of ashes. You quickly shut up and slumped back in your seat taking into account your mothers glance, making your brother snort next to you. Instinctively, you jabbed his ribs with your elbow and he kicked your foot.

Your mother rolled her eyes at the antics of her two adult children. “Y/N, I get that you’re upset but you can’t act like this. You’ve always wanted to be Queen honey and this is the game you have to play to do it,” She said softly. Yeah, you wanted to be Queen but not their Queen.

“You and daddy didn’t play a game,” You snapped back. She sighed. “Why can’t I be like you and not listen to what my parents have to say?”

“Because Y/N our situation is vastly different. My marriage wasn’t riding on the future of our kingdom and people. Also, I am not my mother. When I was upset and ran away, she let me have that time. Hear my clearly Y/N, if you run away I will find you, bring you back and have 3 security guards so close to you that you can’t even use the restroom in private. Is that clear?” She threatened.

“Crystal,” You sulked folding your arms over your chest and kicking your feet up in the seat next to her.

Your mother rubbed her temples only able to think: Prince Thomas I hope you can handle my little firecracker.

“Mum said get up, also to get your whore out of here,” A voice said. Tom let out a groan rolling over in his bed. “Seriously the brat is on her way so hurry up.”

Tom forced his eyes open and let a groan escape his lips. He attempted to sit up, but a small pair of arms tightly wrapped around his torso. “C’mon Tommy tell him to go away. No one can tell you what to do,” His date from the previous night said. She was an Instagram model named…shit. His mind raced trying to remember anything about her, minus her figure, and failed. She pulled him into a kiss attempting to distract him. “I’m still here you know!” Harry spoke up rolling his eyes.

Tom pulled away and looked down at the girl. “Last night was great darling but it’s time for you to go. I’ll have one of the drivers take you back to your hotel,” He assured her as he threw on a pair of Calvin Klein sweats. His head was sore as he may have gone a little wild last night. It was his last 24 hours as a single guy, from now on he was expected to be a committed fiance and preparing to take the steps from Prince to King in the span of 2 weeks. His best friend Prince Harrison from a neighboring kingdom surprised him and the two had probably one of the most intense nights out since they went gambling in Monaco and almost indebted their kingdoms.

“Do you expect me to go home wearing that?” She asked pointing to the torn bits of rose gold fabric left of her dress. He did vaguely remember that. Mentally patting himself on the back, he went into his casual closet before grabbing a long Yeezy shirt and giving it to her. “I can’t get something from the Queens closet?” She asked.

Harry snorted laughing while Tom winced at the thought. He really needed to get her out of here before his mother did find out and subsequently chewed him for bringing a girl back to the palace the night before he was supposed to meet his future Queen. The girl caught the hint and got changed into the shirt and her heels from the night before.

“Can I have my phone back now?” She asked. No matter how drunk he was last night he hadn’t lost his mind. It was a protocol that unless they were his best friends Tom had any visitors give their phones to security upon entrance. He didn’t need any pictures being leaked of what goes on behind closed doors.

“It will be waiting in your car,” Tom said pulling on a sweatshirt. “Harry will show you.”

Harry followed his request to lead the girl out. Tom gave him a thankful look before heading downstairs for the traditional Holland family breakfast. Most families shared meals together for bonding but to them it was just more time to build their image.

Tom was arguably the most lovable prince, minus his youngest brother, simply for the fact that he was able to charm his way out of almost any situation. He was trained to make people fall for him in a way and even when he screwed up he was hastily forgiven. His power plus his smile made him damn near unstoppable when it came to getting his way. Except when it was with his parents.

The crown prince stepped into the dining room designated for breakfast and was met with glares from the royals.

“When we told Harry to come find you we assumed he’d return as well,” Queen Holland sniffed.

He slowly sat down at his normal seat next to Paddy. “I asked him to do me a quick favor he’ll be back soon,” He said before picking up his traditional latte.

“Getting rid of her before I can chew her out?” She asked taking a sip of her orange juice.

He chuckled lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, mother.”

“Thomas there’s no point in playing a game, we know what and who you’ve been doing all night,” The King piped in.

“I wanted to get it out my system before my lovely wife got here. Wouldn’t want to be labeled a cheater now would I?” The cocky prince asked before popping a grape into his mouth.

His mother slowly seethed with rage. “Just…go change now. Look presentable, press will be there and you better be on your best behavior. Is that clear Thomas?”

“Crystal,” He smirked. Tom’s parents shared a look that read: this is going to be a long day.

Imagine Spencer Seeing You Dressed Up For The First Time

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Originally posted by modelsoffthecatwalk

A/N: Okay so, sorry this post was a little late… I had tournaments all weekend! Anyways, the title is pretty much self-explanatory. 

Warnings: NONE

Words: 749

“(Y/n), you look gorgeous!” Garcia squealed in excitement when you walked out of your hotel bathroom. You gave your friend a polite smile while shrugging. 

You didn’t even know why Hotch picked you to be the one to go undercover in this case. You didn’t have much experience with acting to begin with, let alone pretending to be someone you’re not. This Unsub in particularly went after single women at elegant balls. It was strange, but you were used to it. Being in the BAU for 2 years did that to you. 

 "I don’t know Pen, this dress is a bit too much for me.“ You replied, glancing down at your gold and black dress, then back up at your colleague. The costume was a few inches above your knee and it was incredibly bright; like sparkles bright. Something maybe Garcia would wear, not you.

 "That’s the point, my little princess! Hotchner told me he wanted you to stand out, I think I did my job pretty well." 

  You turned around to check your look one more time in the mirror. Your hair was in a lace braided bun. Your makeup was a golden brown smokey eye and your lips were painted a burgundy red. You didn’t look bad, you just weren’t used to dressing up like this. When your eyes found their way down to your body you weren’t sure how to feel about how the dress tugged at your hips. The costume revealed your curves, and as much as you sometimes liked them, tonight was not one of those nights. You didn’t want a serial killer thinking of you in that way, it was gross. Of course, you’d never say that to anyone though. This was your job, you had to. 

 In the reflection of the bathroom mirror, you could see Garcia pulling out her phone to check the time. The woman then shot her head up and grasped onto your forearm. 

 "Everyone ’s waiting down in the lobby, let’s go!” Your friend exclaimed, practically dragging you out of the bathroom. Oh, and the heels! On your feet were classic black peep-toe platform high heels. They were cute, in fact, you loved them, but they were also quite uncomfortable to walk in.

 As Pen and you were in the elevator, you couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer. No, you weren’t dating but you wished you were. You’ve had a crush on him ever since you joined the BAU a couple years ago. Obviously, he didn’t know. You were just close friends, and that’s all he saw you as. Well, at least that’s what you thought. Garcia liked to believe that she knew Spencer liked you. 

 When you got down to the lobby you took a deep breath before strolling out of the elevator door. The whole team was sitting in some chairs but when Morgan and JJ noticed you they immediately stood up. 

 "(Y/n), you look absolutely stunning!“ JJ proclaimed, earning the other teams attention. You smiled and felt a heat rise to your cheeks but you were more focused on seeing Spencer. He was one of the last people to turn around but when he did you swore you saw his eyes widen in shock. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? 

"Dang Miss Foxy,” Morgan began, you rolling your eyes by the nickname your friend always called you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when Morgan gently hooked his hand around yours and brought it up to his mouth to kiss it. “You look lovely.” He finished, winking at you. 

 Rossi and Emily commented on your dress but you weren’t paying attention. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach when Spencer got up from his chair and strolled over to you. For a moment he just stared at you, taking in your beauty. You finally broke eye contact with him, feeling uncomfortable by the staring. 

 "Sorry.“ He mumbled when he noticed you shift awkwardly. 

 "It’s fi-

 "You just look so beautiful, how could I not stare.” Spencer blurted out, soon realizing what he said and bringing his eyes to the ground. Your whole face turned a bright red and you smiled. That was the first time he had ever complimented you… or anyone on the team. Maybe Garcia was right… maybe he did like you. The thoughts going through your mind just brought a wider smile on your face and a darker blush.

Maybe being Unsub bait was worth it. 

Taeyeon x Flowers: Peony

She roamed the streets of her village longing for romance. She had always dreamed of finding the perfect one, but it constantly seemed as if they didn’t exist. Her wardrobe largely consisted of delicate dresses that matched her rosy cheeks, and modest, peep toe heels to complete the look. She frequented cafes and boutiques, praying that her suitor might find her.