On Top Of Old Smokey (Work Dreams)
I was in the CEO’s office in a highrise overlooking the city as he droned on and on to me and his army of accountants and VPs about a series of dates and expenses. The landscape out the window started scrolling down down down like an old video game while we stayed stationary at the center. I experienced an intense form of vertigo and was unable to get up out of my chair as the floor was moving further and further away. The accountants began lunging for me and I tumbled out of my chair as if I was in zero gravity. An army of supermodels strode in wearing ridiculous cleavage-revealing grey sports jackets. We were all frozen in baby-like wonder as the women removed their coats, left wearing nothing but grey pencil skirts and red peep-toe heels. I knew one of the women and that seemed to break the spell over me. She smiled and proclaimed with wonder. “Look at my amazing tits aren’t they great!” She squeezed em together and said, “Wow! Touch ‘em! My nipples feel like cat noses!” I eagerly reached out but my earlier vertigo regained its rhythm and backward I fell into a bottomless grave until all was black. I performed a flawless 1 ½ gainer with a twist and the light rebounded.
I was in my boss’s office surrounded by piles of paper. “I haven’t told anyone this,” my boss said, “but we have to close the office.” He seemed lost. His job was his entire life. I reached out to him, but he tried to kiss me and I tumbled past him out the door and down the hall.
Again, I found myself in the CEOs office. My ex-girlfriend was there and she was dressed for Kabuki (Uchikake) and excitedly told me how we are all, in fact, one consciousness. She went on and on about it and as she approached I could tell that she was just really fucking high and I said, “You’re not enlightened. You’re just really fucking high.” and her face fell flustered and she looked lost.
I rolled out of the office to an alcove where a few of my coworkers were sitting at a table eating piles of donuts. I sat down to begin the ritualistic consumption when the CEO ran out of his office in his heart-covered boxers.“She’s dead! She’s dead” he said. I ran into the office and saw my ex there laying face down on the floor. I calmly gave her the Heimlich maneuver and she spit up a bunch of pills, that upon closer inspection were just little pieces of pill-shaped paper covered with numbers.