pee on toilet seat

Dear freshmen who are going to an art school...

Here are some survival tips….
1. Art school is fucking hard, if you are going because its “easy” your gonna have a hard time.

2. Dont take 8 am classes your next quarter/semester. They are fucking hard.

3. Time management is key. Don’t do what you did in high school. Your project should be started the day of and not put down until youre dead.

4. If you have reading disabilities get student comp. you will need it for your art history and english classes. You will fail if you dont.

5. Stay away from boys for as long as you can. Or what ever else you’re attracted to. Limit your distractions.

6.EAT

7.wakeup an hour before you need to leave for class. So you are not late.

8. If your professor wants you to get expensive supplies try to get them. Theres a reason why they want you to have them.

9. Make friends in every class and outside the class. Connections will help your future.

10. Join clubs- will help with social anxiety. Alot of students who stay in he awk phase dont do as well as other students. Joining clubs will help you become more outgoing.

11. Befriend your professors. They could be rad, and have a foot in the industry. They could choose you for a special project for a client and you could make some money while gaining experience!

12. Cheap supplies suck and can ruin art work

13.shop at blick if you can

14. Have a car or befriend those with cars.

15. If you’re a girl check the toilet seat some girls pee all over the seat because they don’t wanna sit down and its hella gross.

16. Take advantage of every opportunity the school throws at you.

17. Not every one at art school is going to be like you. There will be preppy people, goths, grunge, skaters, jocks, lolitas, furries, etc. so you need to branch out more. Not every one there is going to be a wholockian.

18. Be aware of your surroundings, learn the city before venturing out by your self.

19. Dont bike unless you are already an avid biker. It sucks.

20. Dont give up, its not going to be easy but itll be worth it!

The Types as Shower Thoughts

ENFP: Dogs get taller when they sit 

INFP: I wish you could just record silence and then play it on loudspeakers on full blast to make the whole room quiet

ENFJ: Waffles are just pancakes with abs

INFJ: My way of flirting is looking at the person I’m attracted to and hoping they’re braver than I am

ENTP: Every machine is a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough 

INTP: It sucks if you’re smart enough to realize you’re not as smart as you want to be

ENTJ: The first thing you get after obtaining a bachelors degree is a sudden lack of respect for people with bachelors degrees

INTJ: It’s off-putting that ( ) ( ) isn’t a palindrome, yet ( ) ) ( is

ESFJ: Airports should have small movie theaters for layovers. They would make a killing

ISFJ: Who ever started the tradition of the groom not being allowed to be present while the bride shops for the wedding dress should be awarded a nobel peace prize

ESFP: It bothers me so much that there are so many songs I don’t know about that I might like so much

ISFP: If I were a ghost I’d barely haunt anyone. I’d spend my time in nature exploring jungles, caves, and oceans without the fear of dying

ISTJ: I’m a phenomenal secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don’t care about your shit enough to actually talk about it.

ESTJ: People who pee on the toilet seat walk among us every day and we don’t even know who they are

ISTP: Some women want their outfit to be noticed. As a male, I would prefer nobody noticing it so I can still wear it the next day

ESTP: Cinderella’s dress must have been very revealing if the prince looked at her all evening without being able to remember her face.

Wade has never had a real family before, which means he’s never celebrated Thanksgiving. So when Peter tells him that Aunt may wants Wade to join Peter at her house in Queens to celebrate he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

The whole while he’s getting ready he’s bombarding Peter with questions. What if she doesn’t like me? What if the scars scare her away? What if she thinks I’m not good enough for you, baby boy? What does she think of cussing? What if she makes me break up with you because she doesn’t approve of us being together? The questions never end but Peter assures him that May will love him like he was her own, she welcomes everyone with open arms.

On the big day they arrive at the house and Peter gives him a tour. He shares the memories of growing up here under the care of Uncle Ben and Aunt May, how much Ben would’ve loved to see that Peter now has someone in his life who loves and cherishes him like nobody ever has. That this someone is Wade.

May greets Wade with a big joyous hug. She smells like safety and motherly love and Wade never wants to leave her comfort. To be fair, everyone feels that way about the sweet old lady. She wastes no time running around the house, gathering old photo albums of little Peter to show Wade. She shows him pictures of Peter at science fairs holding trophies half his size, at Decathalons where he’s weighed down by the sheer amount of medals hanging around his neck, holiday pictures that they used for their Christmas cards and such she doesn’t let Wade up off the couch until he’s seen all of Peter’s chilhood through May’s eyes (not that he wanted it to ever end).

She asks him if questions that make Peter want to curl into a ball and hide. Is he still a neat freak? Does he still pee with the toilet seat down? How about the sleep talking? Does he get to bed at a good time? You must know how irritable he is when he hasn’t had enough sleep.

While she cooks the meal Wade offers to help out, seeing as all this food is too much work for one person (may can surely handle it but she doesn’t mind Wade being around). Wade even critiques some of her cooking methods and seasoning recipes. At first May is a little reluctant to take his advice but as it turns out, Wade is an amazing cook.

They eat together in harmony, laughs and warm smiles being exchanged at the table as often at the bread rolls are being passed around. Wade feels so at home, like he belongs here and his presence is valued. He feels loved and he can’t seem to comprehend the fact that if he weren’t here he would be missed.

They finish the entire turkey, the three of them. May makes Wade promise he’ll come back soon so she can fatten him up. Peter is happy and blushing the whole time, glad that the two of them get along so well. He makes a (semi-joking) joke about May stealing Wade from him because she can cook. they walk out the door May tells Peter to come back soon and that Wade is welcome any time. And for once, Wade does feel welcomed and it’s one of the best feelings he’s ever felt.

The Unthinkable Truth // A Stiles Stilinski Smut

Series Masterlist

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Angst, and Swearing.

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader/Stiles Stilinski x OFC

Word Count: 4,160

Song: Nothing Like Us by Justin Bieber

A/N: Get yourselves ready because this chapter is one hell of a bumpy ride and things are only going to get more intense.

The side effects of listening to the song after reading this part may include being very sad or heartbroken, feels taking over and crying like a little bitch.

The faint sound of Stiles’ steady heartbeat against my ear was all that I could focus on as we lay here together on the couch.

His hands lightly caressed my bare back as I slept into his warm and comfortable chest. Our legs were tangled together and his strong arms wrapped around my naked body.

Normally, I wouldn’t be into cuddling with him or even sleeping on him. But, ever since last night and the discovery I made of my feelings for him, I can’t seem to find a reason not to just lay here in his arms.

“Emma.” Stiles’ husky voice whispered into my ear and I melted. “Wake up, princess.”

I hummed in response, choosing to ignore him and Stiles chuckled. I didn’t want to wake up because it meant I’d have to leave his embrace.

“As much as I would love to just stay here and let you sleep, my dad should be home from work soon.” He stated and I immediately groaned.

“Alright, alright.” I sighed with a lazy voice, opening my eyes and pushing myself up off his chest. “I’m leaving.”

“No, you don’t have to leave.” Stiles shook his head, his hand now caressing my cheeks and my heart fluttered. “You just have to put some clothes on.”

I chuckled at how nonchalant his request was considering the circumstances, but nodded in agreement. Peering around the living room, I spotted my clothes along with his in a pile on the coffee table.

“Well, that’s a first.” I giggled, standing up and grabbing my belongings. “Our clothes are never organized in one place.”

“Oh, I put them there.” Stiles stated also getting up from the couch and approaching me. “Didn’t want the chance of my father coming home unexpectedly and him seeing us running around naked, desperately trying to find our clothes.”

Laughter escaped my lips as I imagined just how damn embarassing that situation would be. “Good thinking, Stilinski.”

“Thanks.” He smiled cockily as he picked up his things and we both began dressing ourselves.

Stiles blushes every time he puts his clothes on in front of me because I honestly can’t help but enjoy the view. It amazes me how much he doesn’t quite understand how damn attractive he truly is.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Stiles asked once he was fully dressed again and sat back down on the couch.

“Sure.” I agreed, slipping on my bra and panties. “Ooh, we could watch The Departed and have a drink everytime they say the word fuck!”

Alcoholic drinks?” Stiles chuckled, his eyes staring at me closely as I put my sundress back on. “We’ll get drunk before the movie even gets to five minutes.”

“Damn, that’s true.” I sighed, plopping down next to him and putting my legs up on his lap. “Normal drinks, then?”

“Well, then what’s the point?” Stiles smirked, his hands gently massaging my feet.

“The point is to not be piss drunk when your dad gets home?” I playfully narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed.

“Sounds like a plan, then.”


The movie experience was surprisingly amazing even though we only drank soda. The fact that we would have to quickly rush and fill our cups everytime someone swore caused a few spills, but a lot of laughter.

Whomever said that you need to be drunk to have fun never spent a day with Stiles Stilinski.

The Sheriff arrived slightly after we started the movie and he even joined us to watch. It was an incredible experience to spend the night with the Stilinski men and I would do it all over again.

Our time spent together really didn’t help with my feelings for Stiles, it just made them grow even more. But, I’ve decided that I’m going to do everything it takes to just push them down and not ruin this amazing thing we have going on here. 

“Emma,” Stiles stated my name once we finished watching the film. “We should, uh, probably go study for that test we have next week, right?”

His eyebrows were raised as he waited for me to go along with what he just said, considering it’s a flat out lie.

All of our tests were already taken this week.

“Oh, yeah!” I lied along with him and the smirk on his face was evident. “Wouldn’t want to get a bad grade.”

“No.” Stiles stood up from the couch and pulled me with him. “Absolutely not.“ 

"Do you guys want me to order something for dinner?” The Sheriff asked, not even taking his eyes off the TV, now playing the news.

“Uh, no. That won’t be necessary.” Stiles shook his head. “But, if you could like not go up and bother us, that’d be great. We really need to get our study on." 

"Yeah, sure son.” The Sheriff waved him off, completely uninterested. “Whatever you say.”

Stiles and I shared a mischievous glance before running up the stairs and into his room. My lips were on his the second he closed the door behind us.

“Oh, wait.” Stiles pulled away, his hands on my shoulders. “I gotta pee first." 

"Okay.” I smiled, kissing his lips one last time then letting him go.

“But, you can definitely take your clothes off in the meantime.” Stiles smirked, taking off his own shirt as he spoke.

With a giggle on my lips, I took off my sundress and watched him unloop his belt.

“Stiles,” I asked, pulling down my panties and he turned to look at me. “What’s it like peeing with a dick?”

The loud laugh that he let out immediately triggered mine and it brought back the pesty butterflies.

“I don’t know how to explain.” He shrugged, going back to unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. “It’s pretty normal.”

“No to me.” I smirked, unclasping the hook of my strapless bra and letting it fall on the floor.

“Well, it’s a pretty easy concept.” Stiles stated, his pants and boxers now off of his body and on the carpet. “You just point your penis in the direction of the toilet and pee.”

“Do you sometimes miss the toilet?”

“Oh, all the time. It’s actually kind of fine ‘cuz it’s like a game.”

“Well, can I play?” I smirked and Stiles immediately laughed.

“What?” He chuckled at me.

“I want to try and, you know, point your penis in the right direction.” I shrugged and he hadn’t stopped laughing.

“Okay.” Stiles also shrugged, now walking towards the bathroom. “But, it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I waved him off and followed him to the bathroom. “I’m sure I’ll do just fine.”

Once inside his bathroom, Stiles lifted all of the seats on the toilet and positioned himself to stand before it.

“All yours.” He chuckled, resting the palms of his hands against the wall in front of him. “Remember to, you know, not get pee everywhere.”

“Please, Stiles.” I sighed, cockily. “It can’t be that hard.”

I walked up behind him, one hand on his waist and the other reaching over to hold his penis. Stiles was already grinning thinking that I wouldn’t be able to pull this off.

“Whoa.” I stated in awe. “I have never touched you when you didn’t have an erection and the feeling is so different.”

“Oh, my God.” Stiles laughed, shaking his head. “Can you just- I’d really like to pee.”

“Right, sorry.” I giggled, pointing him directly in line with the toilet. “Go ahead." 

Stiles began to pee and it was pretty easy at first. The pee would go straight into the toilet.

"See? I got this.” I smiled and Stiles chuckled.

“Oh, you just wait.”

That’s when he was finishing up and things got pretty difficult.

The pee would die down and I’d have to bring his penis up so he wouldn’t wet us. But, then, something unexpected happened and I truly wasn’t ready.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, trying my best to contain the situation. “Why is your pee split in two?”

“It does that sometimes.” Stiles shrugged and I practically screamed when it started wetting the toilet seat.

“Oh, my God!” I shouted, freaking out. “Stiles take over.”

“What? No way.” He laughed, watching me fail miserably. “You said and I quote it can’t be that hard.”

“Well, I was wrong okay?!” I panicked, not being able to control two different streams of pee. “Just- Oh no the pee is going to go past the toilet seat!”

Stiles immediately pushed my hand away and grabbed himself, positioning perfectly and I watched in amazement.

“How the hell do you do that?” I was now at ease, laughing and he laughed adorably with me.

“It takes practice, babe.” Stiles smiled and I tensed up, instantly.

Stiles has never called me babe before, only princess. We made it clear that babe was not a pet name we’d be using for each other since only people with relationships tend to call each other that.

He also tensed up a bit, now noticing what he just said and we both chose to just ignore it. There’s no point in dwelling, let’s just dodge that unwanted bullet.

Stiles shook his penis to drip out any remaining pee and I reached down and grabbed toilet paper.

“What are you doing?” He asked, a curious grin on his lips.

“You’re about to be buried deep inside of me and there’s no way I’m risking you dropping pee in me.” I stated, completely cleaning his tip with the toilet paper.

“Yes, ma'am.” Stiles chuckled as I threw the paper in the toilet, shut the seats and flushed.

We quickly and thoroughly washed our hands and, the next thing I know, Stiles’ tongue is already down my throat as we rush our way to his bed.

I was the first to fall on the mattress and he hovered over me, his mouth working wonders on mine. My hands played with his hair and Stiles was happily pinching my nipple with his fingers.

His lips moved to my neck when we both broke apart to breathe and I wrapped my legs around his waist, already feeling his growing erection brushing against my inner thigh.

When I brought one hand down to stroke him and he moaned into my ear, a pleasuring jolt ran straight down my body and landed in my core. There’s, honestly, nothing sexier than the sound of Stiles’ filthy moans.

His mouth attached onto my left breast as I stroked him, Stiles’ teeth biting down on my sensitive nipple.

At the same time that I spread his precum around his tip and gave it much attention, Stiles breathed heavier and a hand of his moved to my inner thigh. 

Squeezing my skin, I whimpered into him and Stiles slid his fingers into my already slick folds.

“Haven’t even been here this long and you’re already wet.” Stiles moaned as he licked my breast. “Is it all for me?”

“Yes.” I panted, wanting him to add pressure where I needed it. “All for you, Stiles.”

My toes curles when Stiles smiled against my skin and gently rubbed his finger on my clitoris.

“Damn.” I moaned, still slowly stroking his tip.

Suddenly, the sound of Stiles’ bedroom door knocking had me abrubtly stop my actions, but he still continued to move.

“Son, I’m heading back to the station.” The Sheriff announced through the door and I had to harshly bite down on my lip when Stiles pushed a finger into my warmth. “Something just came up.”

“Okay, Dad.” Stiles smirked when I dug my nails into his back. “Text me if it has to do with the supernatural.”

“Sure thing, Stiles.” The Sheriff said before we heard his footsteps patting against the floor, indicating that he had walked back down the stairs.

His thumb was rubbing against my nub as his finger pumped in a steady pace inside of me. I let out the moan I was holding back when we heard the front door closing shut.

“Oh, come on, Emma.” Stiles teased with a husky voice, adding another finger into the mix. “I know you can moan louder than that.”

“Fuck!” I practically shouted when he increased his pace.

“Ah, much better.” Stiles smirked, latching his mouth back onto my breast. 

When Stiles curled his fingers against my walls, I knew that I couldn’t take this shameless teasing anymore.

“Stiles,” I panted, trying to speak through the pleasure.

“God, I love it when my name falls from your gorgeous lips.”

“I need you.” I begged.

“I’m right here, babe.” Stiles stated with a soft voice and removed his hands from my body.

There he goes again with that damn pet name. I wonder if he even notices the dangerous territory he’s threatening to enter.

Stiles’ hands pried my legs from his waist and spread them against the bed. I pumped him a few times and his breathing increased as he positioned his staff with my entrance.

His eyes never left mine when he gently pushed himself in and I felt my heart flutter. Stiles’ eyes weren’t black with lust like I was used to, they were a liquid golden brown and warm.

They pierced gazingly into my own and gave out so many different emotions that I couldn’t quite grasp. I, honestly, didn’t know how to react to this level of intimacy.

Once he noticed I felt comfortable with his size and adjusted to him, Stiles began to slowly thrust into me.

It wasn’t desperate and also wasn’t about feeling pleasure, it was about connecting our bodies together. My heartbeat rose and it wasn’t because of the sex, it was because I was falling hard and fast for this boy.

Stiles took one of my hands into his and laced our fingers together. He didn’t know it, but this freckled and sarcastic boy had my entire heart in the palm of his hands.

And that is going to wreck me.

This boy is going to wreck me.

I tried arching my hips against him to get us to go faster, but he just shook his head and grabbed my hip with his other hand.

The way he is looking at me had every cell on the surface of my skin igniting on fire and my heart jumping into my throat.

Stiles moved his hand to my thigh and brought it up to his waist, thrusting into me at a deeper angle.

Even though we weren’t going fast, I could feel my stomach tightening with my close orgasm. Our bodies completely in sync with a feeling we’ve never truly had before, a feeling of being one.

“Hitch your other leg on my waist.” Stiles breathed into my neck as he settled himself there. “I don’t want to untangle our hands.”

My heart fluttered at his honesty and I had to push back my feelings. Putting my leg on his hip and digging my heels into his ass, Stiles went even into me and was now hitting my actual g-spot.

I didn’t even need to give my clitoris any attention to be reaching my peak in a matter of seconds. Clenching down onto Stiles, I let out a scream of pleasure as my orgasm crashed down on me harder than it ever has.

Stiles moaned loudly at the sudden feeling of my release squirting out of me and onto his member, something that’s never happened with us.

This new feeling triggered Stiles’ own release immediately and I watched in awe as he orgasmed. His hot liquid shot inside of me and I swooned at the sound of him shouting my name.

The sound of his voice lacing on my skin, echoed all throughout my body and settled in my heart. I never really cared about the sound of my name until I heard it fall from Stiles’ lips like a prayer. The mixture of his moans and my name in his voice has easily become the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. 

After his hips finished snapping with his high and my legs completely stopped shaking, the only thing that was imminent in the bedroom was the sounds of our heavy breathing.

Stiles lifted his head from my neck and hovered over my own face, his free hand coming up to push my loose hair behind my ear. My cheeks flushed in response.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Stiles asked, his eyes still soft.

I let out a nervous smile and he gently dipped his head to place a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth, deepening it and it was a kiss like no other.

It was passionate and slow, but full of emotions and care for one another. It was so soft and tender that I could feel myself break beneath him.

I’m in love with this boy and I don’t know how to escape this hole I’ve fallen into. 

By the time our kiss ended, I could still feel his lips lingering on mine and I’ve never been so vulnerable in all my life before.

“Emma,” He called my name and I was pulled by his voice. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” I breathed, my voice still unstable.

“I’m in love with you.”

My eyes widened with a mixture of a dozen different emotions I was, suddenly, feeling when he said those intense words.

I was happy because he shared the same feelings that I had for him.

I was in awe because I had finally understood why he was so different with our daily routine today and why it was so intimate.

I was terrified because what does this mean for our friendship now?

But, most importantly, I was furious because I have loved him for a while now and chose to keep quiet about it.

I have been busting my ass about my feelings for him and keeping them a secret not to jeopardize our time together and, yet, here he comes confessing it like he didn’t just completely ruin everything.

Stiles watched me nervously as I processed what he just said and I couldn’t take him looking at me like this anymore.

“I can’t believe you’d do this.” I sighed, pushing him out and off of me. 

“W-What?” Stiles asked, his back falling on the mattress next to me. “What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t just keep that to yourself?!” I yelled, getting up off the bed and walking over to my dress. Grabbing it off the floor, I put it back on. “You really had to go and tell me?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” He defended, also standing and getting his boxers to put them on again. “Let it boil up inside of me and not say anything?!”  

“Yes!” I shouted, flailing my arms around. A habit I picked up from spending too much time with him. “It’s what I’ve been doing!”

The world seemed to stop moving when I accidentally let those words slip. My breath hitched in my throat as Stiles approached me, his eyes wide.

“Wait, y-you love me back?” His expression was filled with hope and I felt horrible that I would be shutting it down.

“I do.” I sighed, my heart feeling heavy. “But, that doesn’t mean anything." 

"What?! What are you talking about?” Stiles narrowed his eyes at me in confusion. “How the hell does that not mean anything? You love me and I love you.”

Stiles was inches away from me and he placed both of his hands on my cheeks. My body created goosebumps at his warm touch.

“What happened to you loving Lydia?” I asked, swallowing nervously.

“I don’t anymore.” Stiles shrugged, his thumb caressing my skin. “She’s just not you.”

Tears prickled in my eyes at the words that every girl has always dreamed of hearing. But, it wasn’t because I was happy. It was because of the exact opposite.

“Emma,” Stiles smiled and my heart stung. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

I looked up at him with sad eyes and he seemed puzzled. With a tear now rolling down my cheek, I let out an unsteady sigh.

“No.”

The hope on Stiles’ face immediately broke and was replaced with a look of pain. He furrowed his eyes at me with confusion and slowly took his hands off of my cheeks.

“W-What?” Stiles asked, taking a step back from me.

“Just because you changed your side of the bargain doesn’t mean I changed mine.” I nervously spoke and I could see the water form in his eyes. “I was serious then when I said I didn’t want a boyfriend and I’m still serious about it now.”

“Is that why you kept your feelings a secret? Because you were afraid to even admit it to yourself and have the smallest chance of being vulnerable again?" 

"Stiles-”

“No, Emma.” He shook his head, wiping away the tears that had escaped. “I know that you’ve had terrible boyfriends in the past. But, I am not one of those guys. I am someone who actually loves and cares about you.”

“Look, I just can’t put myself through that anymore, okay?”

“Because you’re scared?” Stiles narrowed his eyes, accusingly.

“Yes, because I’m scared!” I shouted with anger. “You don’t get it, Stiles! Every single person I’ve ever been with destroyed me and I don’t know how to trust again because of them.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

I let out a grunt of frustration and shut my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers. Stiles doesn’t understand because he’s never been in my place before, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be trampled on by someone you thought loved you.

“I can’t risk it, Stiles.” I stated, my voice steady. “If you want, we can still have our fun together. I just need you to know that I don’t want a relationship.”

“But, I do want a relationship.” Stiles responded. “I don’t want to just have meaningless sex with you, anymore! I want to kiss you whenever I feel like it. I want to just hug you because I love the feeling of having you in my arms. I want to walk down the halls at school with your hand in mine. I want to go to the movies with you and laugh at the predictable clichés in every rom-com. I want to call you whenever I feel like it just to hear how your day went. I want my dad to know that I have the most wonderful girl in my life. I want to cook dinners with you for a date at home. I want to take the jeep and just have late night rides with you beside me. I want to make you happy with me. Emma, I want to love you with all my heart and soul.”

The tears rolling down my cheeks were back thanks to his beautiful words. My heart beat faster than it ever has and I’m sure that I could fall dead any second now, just because of this boy standing before me.

“I can’t give you that.” I cried and it killed me to watch Stiles shatter. His eyes fell to the floor and he swallowed nervously before looking back up at me and hesitantly speaking through a whisper.

“Then, leave.”

My heart fell down into my stomach in pain and I knew I deserved it. I was so scared of getting hurt that I ended up hurting the one person I didn’t mean to. 

With my heart falling into an abyss, I grabbed all of my things and walked out of his room without another word.

It killed me to leave his house and not look back. A part of me wanted to just drop everything and run into his arms, but the other part of me remembered all of the abuse I have gone through with past relationships.

Getting into my car and closing the door behind me, I let all of my tears flow. They were falling at an unrecognizable speed and never seemed to cease.

If someone were to pass by my car right now, they’d see just how pathetic I looked and it made me mad.

Mad that I couldn’t keep my shit together. Mad that I was being unfair and selfish to Stiles. Mad that I couldn’t be with the man I love because I was too terrified.

Wiping away my tears and getting my phone from my purse, I decided to call the one person I’d never expect to.

I need to find a way to push this past me.  

I need to forget this and forget him.

“Hello?” The voice answered just after three rings.

“Theo.” I sighed, my nerves on the surface of my skin. “I thought about it and, yes, I would like to go on that date with you. How does tomorrow sound?”

The Nanny: Chapter 3

Author: @beckawinchester

Characters: Daddy!Jensen, Reader, Josiah (OC), Jared, Tom

Words: 1341

Warnings: Mild swearing, Mild Angst

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A/N: I can’t believe how much feedback this story is getting! Thank you all for enjoying this story! I sure am enjoying writing this! Here is the next chapter!


Jensen’s POV

Jared showed up to pick up Tom about an hour after Y/N had left the house. Jensen answered the door smirking.

“You’re not Y/N.” Jensen rolled his eyes playfully and Jared was still smirking. “What?”

“Is she still here?” Jared asked curiously.

“No. She went home to pack.” Jensen stated and Jared raised an eyebrow.

“Already moving in? You haven’t even asked her on a date!” Jensen slapped Jared on the shoulder which caused Jared to throw his head back in laughter before walking inside.

“So you hired her?” Jared asked smiling and Jensen smiled back.

“Yeah. She’s fit for the job.”

“She sure is.” Jared smirked again.

“Cut it out ass.” Jensen started to walk away and Jared followed. “You’re kid is upstairs in Joey’s room.”

“Tom! Time to go home!” Jared yelled upstairs.

“I could’ve done that.” Jensen rolled his eyes and Jared just chuckled. Soon Tom and Josiah were running down the stairs.

“Hey hey hey! No running in the house!” Jared shouted.

“Sorry daddy!” Josiah looked down. “Bye Tom! Bye Uncle Jared!” Josiah said waving.

“Bye buddy!” Jared said grabbing Tom’s hand who waved goodbye to Josiah. Jensen tasseled Josiah’s hair.

“Why don’t we start on dinner. Y/N will be back soon and we’re making lasagna!” Jensen grinned.

“Yay! Okay daddy!” Josiah grinned and went into the kitchen with Josiah.

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Y'all I uncovered the wildest shit at work today. My boss was busy so he handed me his phone to answer a client’s call and I put down the dudes name (mcgibban) for a table for 4 on Friday and then I hang up and I look down at my boss’s phone and I see that this dude is listed as “McGibban Bad Client” in the phone contacts so I ask my boss “???” and he tells me “oh yeah that guy is a bad client. He and his friends are rude to the staff and they complain intentionally to try and get free food plus they always leave a mess” which is already wild cuz my boss is such a “customer is always right” kinda dude, like he never gets mad at them

Even crazier tho is that this isn’t the only regular customer like this in my bosses phone. Theres a handful of regulars we have listed as “bad clients” for doing shit like making a huge mess every time they come, being overly obnoxious to staff or walking out on bills and when my restaurant is having a busy night and those clients call, we tell them we have no space so we don’t have to deal with their bs on top of the regular business.

There’s even a dude in my bosses phone who my boss hates so much he’s labeled as “fuck customer” and apparently every time this dude comes, he uses our washroom and he misses the toilet seat by a long shot when he pees and someone always has to go wipe his piss off the floor.

So anyway pro tip for getting reservations: don’t act like a fucking animal at a restaurant

anonymous asked:

W, S, P and U for Connor if you have time love! ~🤖

Robo!!? of course I have time!!!

P = parent (what kind of parent would they be?) 
   Okay so im totally getting a laid back parent vibe from Connor. He’d be strict on certain things but SUPER laid back on things like if his kids smokes pot? Okay, theyre just trying it out so no biggie BUT he’d sit down and tell them all that there is to know about pot. His kid drinks? Okay, they’re testing the limit now, he’ll sit down and lecture them rather than talk to them like its no big deal cause he doesn’t want them to die from consuming too much or getting in a car crash. He’d so be down for family nights, you’ll either go out and go to the arcade after dinner or go watch a movie then get ice cream! 

S = smile (what makes them smile without fail) 
     You. No matter what he couldn’t possibly stay in a sour mood so long as you’re around. If you two fight and you’re the one in the wrong, he’ll avoid eye contact and you’ll always make him look at you and pout while you tell him a cheesy joke or you shower his face with kiss and he always ends up smiling and pulling you in for a warm hug. Also, music and animals make him smile.

U = unbearable (what habit do they have that’s unbearable? What habit do you have that they find unbearable)
     He’s totally the kind of guy who cracks his fingers every 5 minutes and he totally cracks his neck immediately after. IT JUST SOUNDS PAINFUL TO YOU. A habit that you have that he finds unbearable is when you belittle yourself, he cant stand it also whenever you come over and you leave the toilet seat DOWN cause he always ends up peeing on the seat. 

W = wedding (what was the wedding like?) 
     The wedding was a small backyard wedding, there was lights hanging around in the trees and there was almost always soft music playing in the background, totally a playlist that he made of all the songs that he’s showed you, you showed him or songs that just reminded him of you all together so it was so heartfelt and beautiful. The guests consisted of a small number of yours and his friends, his family and some close cousins and their parents, your family and close family members. The night was filled with laughs and it just had a very strong feeling of togetherness, something that Connor never thought he’d ever feel. He was blown away by you as a being and especially by the way you looked that night. He sure is glad you’re his Mrs. Murphy.

I’ve used gender-neutral bathrooms specifically designated in LGBTQ-safe spaces and I think I can confidently say that I have a grand total of one (1) single complaint about it:

Folks, regardless of your gender identity or expression, please put the toilet seat back down if you pee standing up.

I have seen the light, I am now anti-snep, Snuffles-groovy-doghouse and I have come to enlighten you about why your fave is problematic: Totally 100% Facts NOT AT ALL MADE UP about Severus Snape

  •  He finishes off the cereal and leaves the box in the cupboard.
  •  He leaves the toilet seat up so that when you pee at midnight you fall in.
  •  He texts while in the cinema.
  •  He talks on the phone in a crowded train.
  •  When you hand him your phone to look at one picture, he scrolls through the whole gallery.
  • During an exam, he clicks a muggle pen the whole time.
  •  As a professor, he never covers what is on the exam. 
  • He tells everyone how he is vegan within 5 mins of meeting them.
  •  He loves puns.
  •  He vanishes only one of yours socks, so you can never match your socks again.
  •  He refuses to use non-organic gmo potion ingredients.
  • When he is in Cokeworth and using an automobile, he NEVER uses turn signals and takes up 2 parking spaces when he parks, AND honks just .2 seconds after the light turns green. 
  • He stops liking a band because they are popular.
  •  He reads your text message asking a question and you know its been read, BUT he doesn’t reply 
  • He assigns homework over break. 
  • He double dips after he’s slobbered all over the food.
  •  He tries to sell Avon/Mary Kay/It Works to the other Hogwarts staff in the breakroom. 

I mean I could go on…… 

Totally not sarcasm