pee on the toilet seat

Dear freshmen who are going to an art school...

Here are some survival tips….
1. Art school is fucking hard, if you are going because its “easy” your gonna have a hard time.

2. Dont take 8 am classes your next quarter/semester. They are fucking hard.

3. Time management is key. Don’t do what you did in high school. Your project should be started the day of and not put down until youre dead.

4. If you have reading disabilities get student comp. you will need it for your art history and english classes. You will fail if you dont.

5. Stay away from boys for as long as you can. Or what ever else you’re attracted to. Limit your distractions.

6.EAT

7.wakeup an hour before you need to leave for class. So you are not late.

8. If your professor wants you to get expensive supplies try to get them. Theres a reason why they want you to have them.

9. Make friends in every class and outside the class. Connections will help your future.

10. Join clubs- will help with social anxiety. Alot of students who stay in he awk phase dont do as well as other students. Joining clubs will help you become more outgoing.

11. Befriend your professors. They could be rad, and have a foot in the industry. They could choose you for a special project for a client and you could make some money while gaining experience!

12. Cheap supplies suck and can ruin art work

13.shop at blick if you can

14. Have a car or befriend those with cars.

15. If you’re a girl check the toilet seat some girls pee all over the seat because they don’t wanna sit down and its hella gross.

16. Take advantage of every opportunity the school throws at you.

17. Not every one at art school is going to be like you. There will be preppy people, goths, grunge, skaters, jocks, lolitas, furries, etc. so you need to branch out more. Not every one there is going to be a wholockian.

18. Be aware of your surroundings, learn the city before venturing out by your self.

19. Dont bike unless you are already an avid biker. It sucks.

20. Dont give up, its not going to be easy but itll be worth it!

I’ve used gender-neutral bathrooms specifically designated in LGBTQ-safe spaces and I think I can confidently say that I have a grand total of one (1) single complaint about it:

Folks, regardless of your gender identity or expression, please put the toilet seat back down if you pee standing up.

The Unthinkable Truth // A Stiles Stilinski Smut

Prompt: To them, becoming friends with benefits seems like the absolute perfect idea. He’s madly in love with Lydia and she never wants a relationship ever again. So, what could possibly go wrong, right? (Part 4 of 6)

Series: Part One Part Two Part Three - Part Five Part Six Epilogue

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Angst, and Swearing.

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader/Stiles Stilinski x OFC

Word Count: 4,160

Song: Nothing Like Us by Justin Bieber

A/N: Get yourselves ready because this chapter is one hell of a bumpy ride and things are only going to get more intense.

The side effects of listening to the song after reading this part may include being very sad or heartbroken, feels taking over and crying like a little bitch.

The faint sound of Stiles’ steady heartbeat against my ear was all that I could focus on as we lay here together on the couch.

His hands lightly caressed my bare back as I slept into his warm and comfortable chest. Our legs were tangled together and his strong arms wrapped around my naked body.

Normally, I wouldn’t be into cuddling with him or even sleeping on him. But, ever since last night and the discovery I made of my feelings for him, I can’t seem to find a reason not to just lay here in his arms.

“Emma.” Stiles’ husky voice whispered into my ear and I melted. “Wake up, princess.”

I hummed in response, choosing to ignore him and Stiles chuckled. I didn’t want to wake up because it meant I’d have to leave his embrace.

“As much as I would love to just stay here and let you sleep, my dad should be home from work soon.” He stated and I immediately groaned.

“Alright, alright.” I sighed with a lazy voice, opening my eyes and pushing myself up off his chest. “I’m leaving.”

“No, you don’t have to leave.” Stiles shook his head, his hand now caressing my cheeks and my heart fluttered. “You just have to put some clothes on.”

I chuckled at how nonchalant his request was considering the circumstances, but nodded in agreement. Peering around the living room, I spotted my clothes along with his in a pile on the coffee table.

“Well, that’s a first.” I giggled, standing up and grabbing my belongings. “Our clothes are never organized in one place.”

“Oh, I put them there.” Stiles stated also getting up from the couch and approaching me. “Didn’t want the chance of my father coming home unexpectedly and him seeing us running around naked, desperately trying to find our clothes.”

Laughter escaped my lips as I imagined just how damn embarassing that situation would be. “Good thinking, Stilinski.”

“Thanks.” He smiled cockily as he picked up his things and we both began dressing ourselves.

Stiles blushes every time he puts his clothes on in front of me because I honestly can’t help but enjoy the view. It amazes me how much he doesn’t quite understand how damn attractive he truly is.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Stiles asked once he was fully dressed again and sat back down on the couch.

“Sure.” I agreed, slipping on my bra and panties. “Ooh, we could watch The Departed and have a drink everytime they say the word fuck!”

Alcoholic drinks?” Stiles chuckled, his eyes staring at me closely as I put my sundress back on. “We’ll get drunk before the movie even gets to five minutes.”

“Damn, that’s true.” I sighed, plopping down next to him and putting my legs up on his lap. “Normal drinks, then?”

“Well, then what’s the point?” Stiles smirked, his hands gently massaging my feet.

“The point is to not be piss drunk when your dad gets home?” I playfully narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed.

“Sounds like a plan, then.”


The movie experience was surprisingly amazing even though we only drank soda. The fact that we would have to quickly rush and fill our cups everytime someone swore caused a few spills, but a lot of laughter.

Whomever said that you need to be drunk to have fun never spent a day with Stiles Stilinski.

The Sheriff arrived slightly after we started the movie and he even joined us to watch. It was an incredible experience to spend the night with the Stilinski men and I would do it all over again.

Our time spent together really didn’t help with my feelings for Stiles, it just made them grow even more. But, I’ve decided that I’m going to do everything it takes to just push them down and not ruin this amazing thing we have going on here. 

“Emma,” Stiles stated my name once we finished watching the film. “We should, uh, probably go study for that test we have next week, right?”

His eyebrows were raised as he waited for me to go along with what he just said, considering it’s a flat out lie.

All of our tests were already taken this week.

“Oh, yeah!” I lied along with him and the smirk on his face was evident. “Wouldn’t want to get a bad grade.”

“No.” Stiles stood up from the couch and pulled me with him. “Absolutely not.“ 

"Do you guys want me to order something for dinner?” The Sheriff asked, not even taking his eyes off the TV, now playing the news.

“Uh, no. That won’t be necessary.” Stiles shook his head. “But, if you could like not go up and bother us, that’d be great. We really need to get our study on." 

"Yeah, sure son.” The Sheriff waved him off, completely uninterested. “Whatever you say.”

Stiles and I shared a mischievous glance before running up the stairs and into his room. My lips were on his the second he closed the door behind us.

“Oh, wait.” Stiles pulled away, his hands on my shoulders. “I gotta pee first." 

"Okay.” I smiled, kissing his lips one last time then letting him go.

“But, you can definitely take your clothes off in the meantime.” Stiles smirked, taking off his own shirt as he spoke.

With a giggle on my lips, I took off my sundress and watched him unloop his belt.

“Stiles,” I asked, pulling down my panties and he turned to look at me. “What’s it like peeing with a dick?”

The loud laugh that he let out immediately triggered mine and it brought back the pesty butterflies.

“I don’t know how to explain.” He shrugged, going back to unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. “It’s pretty normal.”

“No to me.” I smirked, unclasping the hook of my strapless bra and letting it fall on the floor.

“Well, it’s a pretty easy concept.” Stiles stated, his pants and boxers now off of his body and on the carpet. “You just point your penis in the direction of the toilet and pee.”

“Do you sometimes miss the toilet?”

“Oh, all the time. It’s actually kind of fine ‘cuz it’s like a game.”

“Well, can I play?” I smirked and Stiles immediately laughed.

“What?” He chuckled at me.

“I want to try and, you know, point your penis in the right direction.” I shrugged and he hadn’t stopped laughing.

“Okay.” Stiles also shrugged, now walking towards the bathroom. “But, it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I waved him off and followed him to the bathroom. “I’m sure I’ll do just fine.”

Once inside his bathroom, Stiles lifted all of the seats on the toilet and positioned himself to stand before it.

“All yours.” He chuckled, resting the palms of his hands against the wall in front of him. “Remember to, you know, not get pee everywhere.”

“Please, Stiles.” I sighed, cockily. “It can’t be that hard.”

I walked up behind him, one hand on his waist and the other reaching over to hold his penis. Stiles was already grinning thinking that I wouldn’t be able to pull this off.

“Whoa.” I stated in awe. “I have never touched you when you didn’t have an erection and the feeling is so different.”

“Oh, my God.” Stiles laughed, shaking his head. “Can you just- I’d really like to pee.”

“Right, sorry.” I giggled, pointing him directly in line with the toilet. “Go ahead." 

Stiles began to pee and it was pretty easy at first. The pee would go straight into the toilet.

"See? I got this.” I smiled and Stiles chuckled.

“Oh, you just wait.”

That’s when he was finishing up and things got pretty difficult.

The pee would die down and I’d have to bring his penis up so he wouldn’t wet us. But, then, something unexpected happened and I truly wasn’t ready.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed, trying my best to contain the situation. “Why is your pee split in two?”

“It does that sometimes.” Stiles shrugged and I practically screamed when it started wetting the toilet seat.

“Oh, my God!” I shouted, freaking out. “Stiles take over.”

“What? No way.” He laughed, watching me fail miserably. “You said and I quote it can’t be that hard.”

“Well, I was wrong okay?!” I panicked, not being able to control two different streams of pee. “Just- Oh no the pee is going to go past the toilet seat!”

Stiles immediately pushed my hand away and grabbed himself, positioning perfectly and I watched in amazement.

“How the hell do you do that?” I was now at ease, laughing and he laughed adorably with me.

“It takes practice, babe.” Stiles smiled and I tensed up, instantly.

Stiles has never called me babe before, only princess. We made it clear that babe was not a pet name we’d be using for each other since only people with relationships tend to call each other that.

He also tensed up a bit, now noticing what he just said and we both chose to just ignore it. There’s no point in dwelling, let’s just dodge that unwanted bullet.

Stiles shook his penis to drip out any remaining pee and I reached down and grabbed toilet paper.

“What are you doing?” He asked, a curious grin on his lips.

“You’re about to be buried deep inside of me and there’s no way I’m risking you dropping pee in me.” I stated, completely cleaning his tip with the toilet paper.

“Yes, ma'am.” Stiles chuckled as I threw the paper in the toilet, shut the seats and flushed.

We quickly and thoroughly washed our hands and, the next thing I know, Stiles’ tongue is already down my throat as we rush our way to his bed.

I was the first to fall on the mattress and he hovered over me, his mouth working wonders on mine. My hands played with his hair and Stiles was happily pinching my nipple with his fingers.

His lips moved to my neck when we both broke apart to breathe and I wrapped my legs around his waist, already feeling his growing erection brushing against my inner thigh.

When I brought one hand down to stroke him and he moaned into my ear, a pleasuring jolt ran straight down my body and landed in my core. There’s, honestly, nothing sexier than the sound of Stiles’ filthy moans.

His mouth attached onto my left breast as I stroked him, Stiles’ teeth biting down on my sensitive nipple.

At the same time that I spread his precum around his tip and gave it much attention, Stiles breathed heavier and a hand of his moved to my inner thigh. 

Squeezing my skin, I whimpered into him and Stiles slid his fingers into my already slick folds.

“Haven’t even been here this long and you’re already wet.” Stiles moaned as he licked my breast. “Is it all for me?”

“Yes.” I panted, wanting him to add pressure where I needed it. “All for you, Stiles.”

My toes curles when Stiles smiled against my skin and gently rubbed his finger on my clitoris.

“Damn.” I moaned, still slowly stroking his tip.

Suddenly, the sound of Stiles’ bedroom door knocking had me abrubtly stop my actions, but he still continued to move.

“Son, I’m heading back to the station.” The Sheriff announced through the door and I had to harshly bite down on my lip when Stiles pushed a finger into my warmth. “Something just came up.”

“Okay, Dad.” Stiles smirked when I dug my nails into his back. “Text me if it has to do with the supernatural.”

“Sure thing, Stiles.” The Sheriff said before we heard his footsteps patting against the floor, indicating that he had walked back down the stairs.

His thumb was rubbing against my nub as his finger pumped in a steady pace inside of me. I let out the moan I was holding back when we heard the front door closing shut.

“Oh, come on, Emma.” Stiles teased with a husky voice, adding another finger into the mix. “I know you can moan louder than that.”

“Fuck!” I practically shouted when he increased his pace.

“Ah, much better.” Stiles smirked, latching his mouth back onto my breast. 

When Stiles curled his fingers against my walls, I knew that I couldn’t take this shameless teasing anymore.

“Stiles,” I panted, trying to speak through the pleasure.

“God, I love it when my name falls from your gorgeous lips.”

“I need you.” I begged.

“I’m right here, babe.” Stiles stated with a soft voice and removed his hands from my body.

There he goes again with that damn pet name. I wonder if he even notices the dangerous territory he’s threatening to enter.

Stiles’ hands pried my legs from his waist and spread them against the bed. I pumped him a few times and his breathing increased as he positioned his staff with my entrance.

His eyes never left mine when he gently pushed himself in and I felt my heart flutter. Stiles’ eyes weren’t black with lust like I was used to, they were a liquid golden brown and warm.

They pierced gazingly into my own and gave out so many different emotions that I couldn’t quite grasp. I, honestly, didn’t know how to react to this level of intimacy.

Once he noticed I felt comfortable with his size and adjusted to him, Stiles began to slowly thrust into me.

It wasn’t desperate and also wasn’t about feeling pleasure, it was about connecting our bodies together. My heartbeat rose and it wasn’t because of the sex, it was because I was falling hard and fast for this boy.

Stiles took one of my hands into his and laced our fingers together. He didn’t know it, but this freckled and sarcastic boy had my entire heart in the palm of his hands.

And that is going to wreck me.

This boy is going to wreck me.

I tried arching my hips against him to get us to go faster, but he just shook his head and grabbed my hip with his other hand.

The way he is looking at me had every cell on the surface of my skin igniting on fire and my heart jumping into my throat.

Stiles moved his hand to my thigh and brought it up to his waist, thrusting into me at a deeper angle.

Even though we weren’t going fast, I could feel my stomach tightening with my close orgasm. Our bodies completely in sync with a feeling we’ve never truly had before, a feeling of being one.

“Hitch your other leg on my waist.” Stiles breathed into my neck as he settled himself there. “I don’t want to untangle our hands.”

My heart fluttered at his honesty and I had to push back my feelings. Putting my leg on his hip and digging my heels into his ass, Stiles went even into me and was now hitting my actual g-spot.

I didn’t even need to give my clitoris any attention to be reaching my peak in a matter of seconds. Clenching down onto Stiles, I let out a scream of pleasure as my orgasm crashed down on me harder than it ever has.

Stiles moaned loudly at the sudden feeling of my release squirting out of me and onto his member, something that’s never happened with us.

This new feeling triggered Stiles’ own release immediately and I watched in awe as he orgasmed. His hot liquid shot inside of me and I swooned at the sound of him shouting my name.

The sound of his voice lacing on my skin, echoed all throughout my body and settled in my heart. I never really cared about the sound of my name until I heard it fall from Stiles’ lips like a prayer. The mixture of his moans and my name in his voice has easily become the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. 

After his hips finished snapping with his high and my legs completely stopped shaking, the only thing that was imminent in the bedroom was the sounds of our heavy breathing.

Stiles lifted his head from my neck and hovered over my own face, his free hand coming up to push my loose hair behind my ear. My cheeks flushed in response.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Stiles asked, his eyes still soft.

I let out a nervous smile and he gently dipped his head to place a kiss on my lips. I opened my mouth, deepening it and it was a kiss like no other.

It was passionate and slow, but full of emotions and care for one another. It was so soft and tender that I could feel myself break beneath him.

I’m in love with this boy and I don’t know how to escape this hole I’ve fallen into. 

By the time our kiss ended, I could still feel his lips lingering on mine and I’ve never been so vulnerable in all my life before.

“Emma,” He called my name and I was pulled by his voice. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” I breathed, my voice still unstable.

“I’m in love with you.”

My eyes widened with a mixture of a dozen different emotions I was, suddenly, feeling when he said those intense words.

I was happy because he shared the same feelings that I had for him.

I was in awe because I had finally understood why he was so different with our daily routine today and why it was so intimate.

I was terrified because what does this mean for our friendship now?

But, most importantly, I was furious because I have loved him for a while now and chose to keep quiet about it.

I have been busting my ass about my feelings for him and keeping them a secret not to jeopardize our time together and, yet, here he comes confessing it like he didn’t just completely ruin everything.

Stiles watched me nervously as I processed what he just said and I couldn’t take him looking at me like this anymore.

“I can’t believe you’d do this.” I sighed, pushing him out and off of me. 

“W-What?” Stiles asked, his back falling on the mattress next to me. “What do you mean?”

“You couldn’t just keep that to yourself?!” I yelled, getting up off the bed and walking over to my dress. Grabbing it off the floor, I put it back on. “You really had to go and tell me?”

“What else was I supposed to do?” He defended, also standing and getting his boxers to put them on again. “Let it boil up inside of me and not say anything?!”  

“Yes!” I shouted, flailing my arms around. A habit I picked up from spending too much time with him. “It’s what I’ve been doing!”

The world seemed to stop moving when I accidentally let those words slip. My breath hitched in my throat as Stiles approached me, his eyes wide.

“Wait, y-you love me back?” His expression was filled with hope and I felt horrible that I would be shutting it down.

“I do.” I sighed, my heart feeling heavy. “But, that doesn’t mean anything." 

"What?! What are you talking about?” Stiles narrowed his eyes at me in confusion. “How the hell does that not mean anything? You love me and I love you.”

Stiles was inches away from me and he placed both of his hands on my cheeks. My body created goosebumps at his warm touch.

“What happened to you loving Lydia?” I asked, swallowing nervously.

“I don’t anymore.” Stiles shrugged, his thumb caressing my skin. “She’s just not you.”

Tears prickled in my eyes at the words that every girl has always dreamed of hearing. But, it wasn’t because I was happy. It was because of the exact opposite.

“Emma,” Stiles smiled and my heart stung. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

I looked up at him with sad eyes and he seemed puzzled. With a tear now rolling down my cheek, I let out an unsteady sigh.

“No.”

The hope on Stiles’ face immediately broke and was replaced with a look of pain. He furrowed his eyes at me with confusion and slowly took his hands off of my cheeks.

“W-What?” Stiles asked, taking a step back from me.

“Just because you changed your side of the bargain doesn’t mean I changed mine.” I nervously spoke and I could see the water form in his eyes. “I was serious then when I said I didn’t want a boyfriend and I’m still serious about it now.”

“Is that why you kept your feelings a secret? Because you were afraid to even admit it to yourself and have the smallest chance of being vulnerable again?" 

"Stiles-”

“No, Emma.” He shook his head, wiping away the tears that had escaped. “I know that you’ve had terrible boyfriends in the past. But, I am not one of those guys. I am someone who actually loves and cares about you.”

“Look, I just can’t put myself through that anymore, okay?”

“Because you’re scared?” Stiles narrowed his eyes, accusingly.

“Yes, because I’m scared!” I shouted with anger. “You don’t get it, Stiles! Every single person I’ve ever been with destroyed me and I don’t know how to trust again because of them.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

I let out a grunt of frustration and shut my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers. Stiles doesn’t understand because he’s never been in my place before, he doesn’t know what it’s like to be trampled on by someone you thought loved you.

“I can’t risk it, Stiles.” I stated, my voice steady. “If you want, we can still have our fun together. I just need you to know that I don’t want a relationship.”

“But, I do want a relationship.” Stiles responded. “I don’t want to just have meaningless sex with you, anymore! I want to kiss you whenever I feel like it. I want to just hug you because I love the feeling of having you in my arms. I want to walk down the halls at school with your hand in mine. I want to go to the movies with you and laugh at the predictable clichés in every rom-com. I want to call you whenever I feel like it just to hear how your day went. I want my dad to know that I have the most wonderful girl in my life. I want to cook dinners with you for a date at home. I want to take the jeep and just have late night rides with you beside me. I want to make you happy with me. Emma, I want to love you with all my heart and soul.”

The tears rolling down my cheeks were back thanks to his beautiful words. My heart beat faster than it ever has and I’m sure that I could fall dead any second now, just because of this boy standing before me.

“I can’t give you that.” I cried and it killed me to watch Stiles shatter. His eyes fell to the floor and he swallowed nervously before looking back up at me and hesitantly speaking through a whisper.

“Then, leave.”

My heart fell down into my stomach in pain and I knew I deserved it. I was so scared of getting hurt that I ended up hurting the one person I didn’t mean to. 

With my heart falling into an abyss, I grabbed all of my things and walked out of his room without another word.

It killed me to leave his house and not look back. A part of me wanted to just drop everything and run into his arms, but the other part of me remembered all of the abuse I have gone through with past relationships.

Getting into my car and closing the door behind me, I let all of my tears flow. They were falling at an unrecognizable speed and never seemed to cease.

If someone were to pass by my car right now, they’d see just how pathetic I looked and it made me mad.

Mad that I couldn’t keep my shit together. Mad that I was being unfair and selfish to Stiles. Mad that I couldn’t be with the man I love because I was too terrified.

Wiping away my tears and getting my phone from my purse, I decided to call the one person I’d never expect to.

I need to find a way to push this past me.  

I need to forget this and forget him.

“Hello?” The voice answered just after three rings.

“Theo.” I sighed, my nerves on the surface of my skin. “I thought about it and, yes, I would like to go on that date with you. How does tomorrow sound?”

Cause You're My Favorite Hue

All Parts: {x}

Part: 51/?

Pairing: Jamilton

Inspiration: this post and this song

Soundtrack: here (you can request more songs)

Summary: Black and white was all anyone saw until they touched their soulmate. For some people, color quickly rushed into world and for others, all they ever saw was black and white. Two businessmen, who absolutely hated each other, managed to bump into each other on their way up to their office. Little did either know that their world would erupt in a staccato of color.

Warning: cussing, mentions of sex

Word Count: 3,545

Dedication: @xaandiir and @nefarism bc they’re my faves

Tags: @midnigtartist, @kneel-to-maria, @halpdevon, @wildlittleman, @exadorlion, @lukasspresents, @closestfriendivegot, @celestialqueerfeminist, @schokoobananaa, @justsmilingandnodding, @lapiamedots, @semoka, @jayceemayy, @kyller-biis, @alwayshesitantwiththepresident, @sarcastic-swl-dragon, @starspeckled, @yourapplepiebetterbeworthit, @saturn-sails, @tallish-hobbit, @angelica-eliza-layafette, @sugarshark420, @gunsandshipsandpeggy, @doot-doot-cats, @thatdewdlesperson, @lafbagxette, @hamilton-trash-1, @cutebridge, @siguikinworld, @evil-weasel, @bad-l-ands, @lukadovemcm, @not-spider-man, @thedisneyderp, @aphamericanhero, @rose-is-in-the-void, @hosanna-is-the-name, @genericusernameblahblahblah, @oli-is-perfect, @trash-sicle, @suspicious-protagonist, @beycutebabe, @ichbindeindod, @awkwardly-inactive, @thekaymeister, @dvddggs, @dreamingpastelcolors, @theluckyjinx2170, @atomicprinceling, @aheadfullofglassbees, @jefffersons, @sweetlyminiaturesublime, @anitheunicorn, @catsouitrash, @creativescapist, @bees-and-shotguns, @anonymouscrazyfangirl, @frannro, @nicnchill, @skythornhollycat, @gaya-the-apple, @peachygroff, @fangirl6202, @lawnmowerswig, @confused-septopus, @thesebattlescarsarebeautiful, @lalalapin, @omlwhatamidoing, @wow-another-blog, @ordinaryornate, @spookytheoristpuppy, @nobeatnomelody, @hell-yes-puns-and-ships, @cheerioscheerios, @bellatrixmld, @spoiledbuni, @dammit-i-suck-at-this, @tinypathetichumanbrain, @ilove2badoable, @oh-onarchy, @accidentally-impeccable, @coconuthoodie

A/N: one month time skip just so y'all won’t be thrown off


“Ugh…Philip John Hamilton!”

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TalesFromYourServer: Why do people not watch their kids?

On mobile, sorry, blah blah blah.

On Thursday I was hosting during the day, and it was pretty slow. People are at work and school, so most of our guests were older people, and people with small children.

I decide I have to go to the restroom (coughgoonmyphonecough) and I see a little boy in the restroom, maybe 3 or 4. I kind of look around, and theres no one else in the restroom, and this kid is just wandering around in there.

Im like, ok I’ll deal with this after I pee. Open one stall, pee splatter all over the toilet. Ew, obviously this is the stall this kid used. Go to the next stall, pee splatter. Wtf, repeat for all 4 stalls. This kid peed in every toilet and got pee splatter all over the seats. Fantastic. (I was kind of impressed though, like who has that much pee?)

So I go up to this little boy and go “Hey buddy, wheres your mommy?” and he responses “Eating” and kind of wanders to the other end of the restroom. Ok, this is a manager job because I’m not paid enough to clean up urine off all the toilets or deal with children.

So I go up front to the host stand grab one of the walkies and explain the situation to my managers (there were 2 on at the time). One of my managers was working expo, and I could see him from the host stand. He just turns around to look at me, laughs and mouths “WTF?” I just shrug.

The other manager on duty comes up to the host stand, asks me to please repeat what I said. I did, she goes “Oh God” and walks into the restroom. She comes back, said the kid was still in there, and she walked him back to his table and his mother goes “Oh, there you are” and returns to her meal. So manager cleans toilets and everythings good.

What I dont understand is how you let your young child disappear in a restaurant for that long. It was at least 10 minutes from the time I walked into the restroom until he got back to the table. Who knows how long he was in there before I got in there.

By: Kaity-lynnn

THE SIGNS IN DIRTY PUBLIC RESTROOMS
  • Aries: *looks at the restroom, decides they can hold it, and leaves*
  • Taurus: *washes hands viciously after doing their business*
  • Gemini: *covers the toilet seat in toilet paper before sitting*
  • Cancer: *pees everywhere and leaves USED toilet paper on the ground*
  • Leo: *brings out cleaning supplies*
  • Virgo: *complains to staff that the restroom is too dirty*
  • Libra: *eats while in the restroom*
  • Scorpio: *adds a dick to the drawings on stall*
  • Sagittarius: *slips on pee and falls in the toilet*
  • Capricorn: *cleans seat with toilet paper and sits down*
  • Aquarius: *almost vomits*
  • Pisces: *eh doesn't care and sits down on dirty toilet*

anonymous asked:

Kuroo husband headcanons

- This isn’t strictly husband related, but wow, does this boy know a lot of pick up lines. Bio chem related pick-up lines, at that. Some of his personal favorites are, “Hey girl, are you a hypotonic solution? Because you’re making me swell.” and, “Babe, you’re so hot you denature my enzymes.”

- He’s really, disgustingly sentimental. He proposed with a thick golden ring, laced with his s/o’s birthstone. He got the words, “Forever & Always” engraved on the inside, along with his and his s/o’s initials. He really isn’t the player people make him out to be, and is completely and entirely devoted to whomever his s/o may be.

- He’s not so sure he wants kids, but he definitely wants cats. (He isn’t as insane as Lev, though…) After their wedding and honeymoon, Kuroo came home with a Bengal kitten, and claimed it as their “new baby boy.” There was a debate over what they should name him, but ultimately decided on “Nekoma”.

- Before him and his s/o got married, they lived separately, so Kuroo was really excited to finally move in with them. Although, Kuroo used to live with Bokuto before, and hasn’t lived with another female since high school, so he’s a bit… careless, per say. He’s the kind of guy who leaves the toilet seat up after he pees, and if he actually cares enough to put the seat back down, he gasses the entire bathroom with Axe.

- He’ll always find an excuse cuddle, always. There’s never a time where him and his s/o are lying down and he isn’t touching them. While cuddling, Kuroo tends to…
- Run his hands through his s/o’s hair
- Whisper about how much he loves them/ how beautiful they are
- Absentmindedly run his fingers along their back
- Squeeze his s/o’s butt, apologize, then proceed to do it again.

- He never gets jealous, and has complete and utter trust in his s/o. He has so much faith in them that he could lock them in a room with the sexiest man on earth, and know with complete confidence that his s/o wouldn’t do anything to betray him.

- His s/o always wakes up first, and Kuroo hates waking up without them in bed. So, the night before he’ll practically lock his s/o up in his arms so they can’t leave the next morning. While it makes Kuroo happy, the couple always end up being 15 minutes late because of it…

- For their honeymoon, Kuroo and his s/o threw a dart at a map to decide where they were going. Kuroo’s s/o ended up throwing it smack dab in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, so Kuroo took the dart and threw it himself. They ended up going to Barcelona.

- After many mornings of practice, his s/o eventually got his obstreperous bedhead to subside. Although, it made him kind of sad to see his hair standing up completely, so he ended up taking a shower and washing out all his s/o’s hard work.

- Unfortunately, he always has friends over. Whether it be Kenma or Bokuto, there’s always an extra dose of testosterone around the house. At this point, Bokuto might as well get a wedding band that corresponds theirs, because he’s around the couple so much they could be mistaken as a poly couple…

#63: | Pregnancy Series | Finding Out About The Pregnancy | Part 2

A/N:

Pregnancy Series | Finding Out About The Pregnancy | Part 1

Luke:

”Okay wait what?!” Ashton asked frozing out from the shock the other boys were still wearing on their faces. Luke was looking down at the ground, his cheeks slight pink and his mouth into a straight line. You on the other hand were freaking out inside, hoping Liz would come back any minute. “Remember Ehm- that party in New York?” Luke scratched his neck as he spoke looking up at the other boys. “Yea you guys were so drunk we had stabilized you whilst Calum carried Y/N.” Michael answered, his eyebrows knitting as he thought back at the event. “Right.” Luke spoke, folding his hands. “After you guys left, we don’t really know how it happened, everything went really fast and uhm before I knew it I was in top of her and yea you know the rest.” Hearing this coming from Luke made the boys cock a smirk yet to you and Luke everything was awkward, this was the first time you had actually talked about it since it happened. “So you guys had sex?” Calum crossed his arms with a smirk. “We did.” You mumbled, pulling your knees up to your chin. “Was it good?” Michael started to question but Liz barked into the room making everything go quiet, saving you guys from more awkward questions. “Got it.” She showed up the white box before throwing it towards you. “I hope you’re in a need for a pee, because we won’t leave before you’ve finished.” The other boys took a seat at the bed as you headed towards the bathroom. To your luck, the feeling of a pressure from your urine was pushing on and you actually had to pee. Taking a seat on the toilet, you stabilized the cup in your hand to take a wee in it, placing it on the counter before cleaning yourself off. It feel like years went as you had placed the stick in the urine, your mind going into a million thoughts. When the stick had given its answer you went over to the door and walking out. “So?” Liz asked standing up. You didn’t say a thing, your face showing off no emotion as you just reached out for her to grab the stick. Liz took it out of your hand and took a look at it. “She’s pregnant.” Liz’s words echoed in you and Luke’s head, the other boys’ jaws falling as they were looking at each other. “I have to go check on some meetings you have tomorrow, I’ll see you then.” Liz mumbled giving you the stick again before heading towards the door and out. When his mom was gone Luke stood up from the bed immediately marching over to you before wrapping his arms around your small form, burying his head into your neck. Hell he was scared, of course he was but he had to pull that part away cause he knew that you would probably be ten times more scared, carrying something inside that he had been a part of creating as well. “You know no matter what happens I’ll stand by your side, always and forever, we’re in this together and you’re not alone.” The other boys stood up as well before hugging you from behind, all of them showing their support towards you guys.

Calum:

Calum’s eyes flicked between the road and the phone in his hand as he tried to connect it to the car’s phone system, a few glares towards you was shared as well as you were lying your head against the window, the nausea growing with each meter he drove. It wasn’t far after Calum had finished his lunch that you had to lay down feeling to ill the even stand up – and Calum being the worried ass he was, was determined to get you to a doctor as soon as possible, already getting you an appointment not 30 minutes after. He pressed call on the phone, waiting a few rings as the speakers in the car illuminated the beeps, a few times before the sound of Joy appearing. “Hey Calum what’s up?” She asked, making Calum sigh. “Hey mom. Uhm, I don’t really know how to say this but you might have to cancel the dress trial.” “What why?!” She exclaimed. “Y/N’s not feeling well.” Calum mumbled turning the car and driving into the doctor’s parking lot. “What’s wrong with her there’s still two days left.” Joy voice was worried sick now. “It’s just some illness I think, might be due to period or something.” You mumbled taking off your seatbelt as Calum parked the car. “Have you guys contacted a doctor just in case?” She asked. “Of course mom, we’re already there.” Calum mumbled unbuckling his seatbelt. “Good. I won’t disturb more then.” She said before mumbling out a bye and hanging up. “Ready?” He asked looking at you, making you nod your head, watching Calum remove his phone from the system and opening his door to walk out, you doing the same. Walking hand in hand you returned your Health Insurance to the receptionist, and not waiting more than 5 minutes after when the doctor was available. ”So Y/N, tell me what’s wrong with you?” The female doctor asked, crossing her legs. “I have an extreme illness to be honest. I get cramps every few fifth minute and I’m nausea around strong smells.” The doctor nodded her head at your words, typing something into your journal. “With something like this, the cause is much easier to find out through a blood test.” “Okay.” You mumbled helping her with preparing your arm and watching her as she took an amount of your blood from the arm. “I’ll be back soon.” She said standing up and leaving. The doctor came in soon after with a stack of papers in her hands, reading through them as she took a seat. “So?” Calum asked, wanting answers more than you probably would. “They’ve taken the tests and everything is fine.” She answered, writing something down. “But what was the cause then due to her illness?” “You see Mr. Hood, Y/N’s illness is due to development in her uterus.” She explained, making Calum look confused back at you to see your eyes wide. “What does that mean?” “It means I’m pregnant.” You said in half awe, half shock. Calum looked back at the doctor to see her nod her head. “3 weeks pregnant.” Calum looked back at you in awe but his happiness fated a bit when he realized something. “There go those wedding plans.”   

Michael:

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Michael had placed his finger under your chin, lifting it up for you to look at him instead of the ground. “I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.” You mumbled toying with the T shirt you were wearing. “Have you used a test?” You shook your head at his question making him nod his head, his mouth going into a straight line. “Want me to go buy one?” You shook your head at him again making a puzzled expression appeared on his face features. “I already have one. But I’ve been too scared to use it.” You admitted making his mouth open. “Let’s go find out then.” He urged grabbing your hand before dragging you into the bathroom, roaming through the drawers to find it. He finally found the white box throwing it towards you. Michael’s rush startled you, making you frozen in spot. “What?” He questioned eyeing you as you clutched the box staring back at him. “Why are you so urgent about this?” You asked, starting to open it. “Because I have a tour in less than 5 months. Tickets go on sale in two weeks and we’re announcing the tour at that point. If you’re pregnant there’s not gonna be a chance that I’ll leave you if so.”  “Michael you can’t just cancel a tour because of our lack of protection.” You pleaded walking closer to him. “Of course I can. You’re not gonna stay home alone here, leaving me behind with no knowledge about the pregnancy progress.” “I don’t want you to disappoint your fans.” You took out the objects in the box before placing them on the counter as you spoke. “As long as they don’t know, they can’t be mad at something they’ve lost before they even got the chance.” He said more quietly now, placing his hands on your cheeks before giving you a kiss on the forehead. “Now go pee on that stick and tell me if Clifford Junior is on the way.” He said with a shy smile, giving you another peck on the forehead before heading out of the bathroom. You took a deep breath before taking a seat on the toilet, peeing in the small bowl before sticking the stick in it. “Michael I’ve peed.” You yelled and he instantly went into the bathroom again, walking over to you. “Is it done?” He asked looking at you hopefully looking at you. “Yea.” You mumbled looking over at it. Michael walked straight over to the stick curiously grabbing it before taking a look. “I’m not a doctor but 2 lines mean pregnant right?” He asked, a goofy smile playing on your lips. “There is?” You asked walking closer to him, he showed you the stick. “There is.” You answered your own question. “I’ll go tell one of the managers that he’s on the way.” Michael mumbled taking out his phone from his pocket. “You know it could be a girl right?” You asked throwing the stick in the trash. “Not a chance, I know it’s a boy.” He said making you smile.

Ashton:

You were still in bed when Ashton came back, his breath turning into a panting as he ran up towards the stairs, barking into the bedroom again. “You ran?” You questioned, sitting up in bed. “Of course I did.” He answered walking over to the bed and taking a seat. The wide box were soon wrapped up in his hand, he took out the stick and a transparent small bowl. “Where’d you get it isn’t everything closed at Sundays?” You questioned making him shake his head. “I went to the gas station. Let’s hope that it actually work.” He mumbled looking at the objects in his hands. “I think you uhm; need to continue from this part.” He mumbled giving you the stuff. You let out a small sigh before leaving the warm covers to head towards the bathroom. Following the instructions you took a seat on the toilet, finishing what the instructions said and placed the stick into it. These 7 minutes felt like hours as you watched the stick form lines on it. Taking the stick up you took a look at it, looking yourself at the mirror to take a look at your stomach, still flat and headed towards the door. What was Ashton going to say? Would he mad? It would take you by surprise if so cause he hadn’t been talking about anything else than that. He was the one suggestion that you should stop being on birth control.  When you opened the door you let out a small shriek as Ashton stood right in front of it. “Sorry, I’m buzzing with excitement.” He apologized giving you a shy smile. You only shook your head at him before giving him the stick. “I don’t know what this means.” He exclaimed eyeing it. You gave him the box turning it around so he could look at the instructions. He looked between the stick and the instructions for a few seconds confuse written on his face before it started to lit up in joy. “2 lines mean pregnancy.” He asked wanting to be sure. Ashton was lost for words but his face expression told everything. Still holding the stick in his hand he wrapped you in his arms, pulling you so tight he almost knocked the breath out of you. “This is crazy Y/N.” He smiled pulling away to lean down to give you a kiss. One, two, three pecks was placed on your lips before he placed it all around your head making you giggle. “You’re not happy?” He asked suddenly nervous, looking at you. “Of course I am. I think I’m just very shocked to be honest. And I’m still in pain.” You mumbled the last part making him smile, removing a piece of hair from your face and placing it behind your ear. “I’ll give you all the massages you’ll need.” He smiled pulling you into his arms again. “You better, because I’m actually carrying your baby.” “I like the sound of that.” He laughed pulling you in for a kiss again. 

anonymous asked:

Hi! I have a very practical question. I'm considering buying a leg armor, but I wonder : is it possible for a girl to go to the bathroom with leg armor on? I really love your blog, have a great day!

Yaaaaas! My favourite kind of anon! Asking the real questions. 
Okay, I’m gonna lay it to ya straight. As a girl, using the toilet while wearing a lot of layers of larp clothes is never easy. Adding a set of full steel-plate leg armour on top of that? Well…the struggle is real my friends. If you’ve chosen to wear armour like this then there’s not really any way of getting around suspending such a harness from something like an arming belt or a pourpoint, which will be on a scale from ‘most likely’ - ‘100%’ have arming points which are either attached by way of tie or leather strap from your waist to your upper thigh. Imagine the most badass girdle belt and thigh highs ever. (Below: Arming belt and steel plate leg armour)


So to the fun mental image of being a girl and peeing in leg armour. It is possible, depending on what you wear under your armour, to use the toilet and not have to remove your armour every time. I wear fairly plain black leggings or hoes (sometimes over gym skins as well, for warmth) under mine. So when it comes to doing the do, I can scooch my pants down enough past my butt and under my armour, delicately balance on the toilet seat and pee. Wiping can be tricky but also not impossible with a little flexibility. The hardest part is actually pulling everything back up to where it has to go; for your pants to sit high enough and comfortably enough that you aren’t left walking around like a penguin. This readjustment stage can take… a while, and is easier with a pourpoint/arming vest rather than a belt. It’s a lot of jiggling around that kind of makes you wish you’d just taken your armour off in the first place. (Below: Pourpoint and 3 layers of costume)

It’s at this point that I genuinely envy the ease my guy friends have of running to a nearby tree under the cover of darkness at our campsite where they can flop and tuck in under a minute. So here’s my next suggestion, buy a ShePee / SheWee. If you’ve never seen one, this is what they look like:

It’s basically a funnel that you pee into while standing up that’s meant to imitate a dude’s junk. After use, give it a super soapy wash, dry it and it’s good to go for next time. They’re relatively inexpensive and you can order them online for less than $10. I’ve only used mine a hand full of times (mostly because I’m scared of overflow… but that is yet to happen) and I’m really good at holding it, but it’s a fairly viable option.
If anyone knows of better ways to relieve yourself as a girl in armour, let me know so I can share!
Hope this answers your question, even though it probably left you feeling more confused…

TL;DR. Yes it’s possible, but hella impractical. Try a SheWee?


Tips for dorm living

1. Don’t pee on the toilet seat. 

2. If you do pee on the toilet seat please wipe it up. Don’t be an asshole and make sleepy people sit in your urine because you just weren’t feeling like cleaning up your own mess.

3. If you shave, wash your hair down whatever drain you use. I can’t tell you how gross it is to find a sink covered in beard trimmings, or a shower covered in leg hair/pubes.

4. Don’t put mulch in the shower drain. I can’t think of a single reason that you could use to justify having dry mulch all over your body but if you do, try to wipe the majority of it off before entering the dorm and then rinse the rest off in the shower. Don’t stick a huge clump of it in the shower drain.

5. Check with your school before bringing a wireless printer or an internet TV device (like Apple TV). These devices can eat up the wifi in the dorm and will make everyone hate you. Not having wifi to do homework with or relax is infuriating especially if people are taking online classes, quizzes, or submitting assignments through the campus portals. 

6. SHOWER. Good gods. Most dorms have showers available for residents. Even just three times a week is good. If you miss a day because you woke up too late, I understand that. Try to make up for it at night or please please please wake up earlier the next day to shower. Sitting near people who smell like ass in classes is absolutely terrible.

7. Even though you don’t have a bed time, other people in the dorm might depending on when their classes are. Be aware of when quiet hours start on your floor and observe them. 

8. If someone asks you to be quiet because they are studying. Listen to them. College is hard work and having people screaming in the hallway is very aggravating and distracting. 

9. If you or one of your friends has a rough night of drinking and throws up one the floor of the bathroom, in one of the sinks, or any other place in the dorm that you can’t clean, please tell a CA. Close the door to the area and tell someone so they can clean it. Most places have good samaritan rules which dictate that you  won’t get in trouble for reporting something like this, even if you were doing something wrong (underage drinking etc…). It’s a hazard to others living in the dorm. I know you can’t help it sometimes when you’re real messed up but please try to make it safe for the others living in the building that have to share these common spaces.

10. DON’T SMOKE WEED IN YOUR ROOM. The walls are thin and all of the other resident’s windows are usually open. I don’t want to smell your grass, and I don’t feel like getting buzzed off your product. Find a different place to get high please. It’s just courteous to others in your building. 

N: N will try to play it off like he didn’t just do what you had been warning him about. He’ll be suave in his actions, too, and try to hide like, ‘No, that’s not what I did. You’re just seeing things.’ But of course, you won’t buy any of that bull crap and so your nagging would commence. But N is the king of nagging others so he’d nag you for nagging him. “*Ring announcer voice* In corner one we have the girlfriend. In corner two we have N, the king of nagging. Who will win this epic showdown?” $500 on N. 

Originally posted by chabulous


Leo: Leo would just be like, ‘oh, really?’ and then feel a little bad that he didn’t remember your warning. He’d promise to do better next time, but knowing him he’d forget your warning again. You’re going to have to put more emphasis on your nagging so he can visually remember the next time. “Just stop me before hand, I guess. Or make me remember better.” OH…I have a way to make you remember better. *Gets handcuffs*

Originally posted by myungsxxs


Ken: Excuses, excuses. Ken doesn’t want to hear all that nagging, so he’ll tell you something just to make you go away so he can move on and forget he messed up again. At some point the both of you would be screaming at one another before falling into a fit of giggles. “I sense some hostility…but I’M SORRY! MY BRAIN ROTS EVERYDAY! IT’S CALLED AGING. GET OVER IT. PLUS IT’S MY BIRTHDAY SO LEAVE ME ALONE. BAHHHH!” Bruh. If only you weren’t so cute. 

Originally posted by cha-nnnnn


Ravi: Ravi won’t be listening to your nagging because he’d be too busy trying to figure out how and why he messed up again, because now he has to pretend he’s listening to your nagging. You’d literally be standing there having a fit, while he’s looking up at the ceiling in thought. When he finally snaps back to reality he’ll stand there and say, “So…what were you saying?” *Oprah voice* You get an ‘F’ and you get and ‘F’ and you get an ‘F’!

Originally posted by wontaec


HongBin: HongBin would immediately jump on the defensive like, ‘you never told me not to do this!’ or ‘do you have record of any of this?!’. So, of course you have to hand him his receipts of wrongdoing and he’d feel played. At that point he’ll just stare you down with his hands on his hips as you nag him once more. Don’t crack under his gaze though.  Don’t be another casualty to his face or tense shoulders.

Originally posted by txrce


Hyuk: Hyuk either honestly forgot about your warning or probably did the thing you nagged him about on purpose just to get a reaction out of you. Either way, once you start nagging him again he’d opt for the sarcastic approach as if to say you’re overreacting. “Fine. How about you write it on my arm? No! Tattoo it! How about sending me a text every five minutes that way when I go pee I’ll remember to put the toilet seat down! Or better yet, just look before you sit so you don’t fall into another time zone. Wow, good idea right?” …Bless whoever dates him.

Originally posted by leohowdareyou

Thanks for asking!
-Admin Cheezy ^_^

MBTI Types + shitty ideas

all the ideas are taken by @shittyidea

Disclaimer: It’s a joke. Chill.

ISFP: Invisible hair colouring

ESFP: Begin every sentence with “plot twist”

ISFJ: All malls and stores start putting up Christmas decorations today

ESFJ: Let Jesus take the wheel while going 80mph

ISTJ: A yellow pages style book with information on thieves, drug dealers, etc.

ESTJ: Install carpet in every bathroom (even in the shower)

ISTP: Check to see if your fire alarm works by setting your house on fire

ESTP: Grab the first person you see after reading this, and punch them in the face

INTP: A meth-lab scented perfume

ENTP: A game that combines the speed of baseball with the thrill of golf

INFP: New totally gender - and animacy-neutral pronoun she/he/it = shit

ENFP: Superglue everything important (such as your phone, keys and wallet) to yourself so you never lose them

INFJ: Put toothpaste on your breakfast so you can skip brushing your teeth

ENFJ: Play charades with a group of blind friends

INTJ: Want to ace that job interview? Turn it into a staring contest…

ENTJ: Have your kids litter-trained…because nothing is more annoying than cleaning pee off the toilet seat