There are people who will do anything to be in your shoes , you have a home, clean water, food, clothes, fresh air, cell phone, tv, education etc. Look at the kids in the Middle East? They can't even get a chance to sleep in peave every night with out the fear of a bomb blowing them up. Try to look at things on the outside it could be a good start to help this state you're in. See a therapist? You may need meds to adjust serotonin levels in your brain. Take care.