Pearly White

            Birth name: Laura Hartford

            Stage name: Pearly White

            I hate the thought of referring to her as the latter. Outside of her work she is a woman—a beautiful woman, no less—and deserves the respect of any other. I am a cameraman, no different from any other man with a camera, yet she knows me by name. Let me tell you I’ve filmed a myriad of women, but not one of the others are quite as incredible as her.

            I first laid my eyes on Laura when she walked onto the set of The Hills Have Thighs. Her voluptuous form was just barely hidden by the pitiful excuse for a dress she’d been given in costuming. At first glance I hadn’t thought much about her appearance, as I’d seen many a porn star in my history of filming. However, I truly realized her potential not in her intimate scenes, but in the opening scene of the film. Although the dialogue was terribly written, which is guaranteed in every adult film, she delivered each line with a certain gleam in her eye; she committed to the production with the drive of a true artist.

            One day she asked me between takes how she was doing; this was the closest we’d been without a camera between us. Before I could even answer, she smiled a gratuitous smile and told me how she so dreamed of being an actress like Marilyn Monroe. She then asked my name. My mouth had gone dry instantaneously, yet I was able to reply, “Seth.”

            She gifted me with another smile and sweetly commented, “It suits you!” There is definitely a Monroe-esque feel about her character; she carries it in everything from her gracious walk to her genuine laugh.

            I sit here now, not five feet away from the lovely woman and her less-than-handsome co-star, going at it like a pair of eager bunnies. Even her noises are sweet, though they’re half-way muffled by the heaving breaths of her partner. I loathe them all, the men who have their way with her, then move right on to the next film. As I move to get a more flattering view, I realize that there truly is nothing fake about her, as her breasts are quite real. All of her subtleties are beautiful in themselves—her faint giggles, the sound of her delicately manicured nails gripping the bed sheets, the way she purses her lips without making an ugly scrunched-up face.

            For the first time since I entered this profession, I find myself actually growing jealous. I want to give her a life fit for a star. Just as I begin to drift into a fantasy of having her for my own, our director cries, “Cut!” It is then that I realize that I have only been focusing on Laura’s face and not the action.

            “I’m sorry, Ms. Hartford,” I apologize, lowering the camera.

            She looks up at me and smiles. “No problem, Seth! And please, call me Pearly.”

            I give her a half-smile back. “Right… Pearly.”

Here’s the guitar that caused so much controversy last night: the Skjelstang. Directly inspired by Thurston Moore’s triple-pickup Mustang, our good friend @skj48 (Japanese Guy, Fleet Foxes) wanted something similar, but of course, with the ol’ Skjelset twist.

The neck and body are vintage pieces, the neck from ‘65 and the refinished, pearly-white body from a similar year. Three @lollarpickups blackface Strat pickups adorn the mint fenderparts guard, which I modified to fit the third pickup. Most of the wood under the guard is routed away to accommodate the third pickup and the toggle switch, but the most exciting part of this project was coming up with the wiring scheme.

The neck and bridge pickups are controlled by the three-way toggle switch on the treble side horn, but the middle pickup is connected to the Mustang on-off-on switch in the usual spot that allows the pickup to be engaged in and out of phase, with a 1meg Jazzmaster-style roller for blending it in. By turning off the N+B controls (1meg volume, 250k tone) you can single out the middle pickup.

We also installed a @masterybridge and a Jazzmaster trem arm to round out the unique look. This is one of the coolest builds I’ve ever done, and one that I would definitely repeat for myself. #guitar #vintage #vintageguitar #build #mmguitarbar #seattle #mustang #fender #custom #lollar #masterybridge #skjelstang (at Mike & Mike’s Guitar Bar)