peach tart

omgcp characters as things I've done
  • inspired by like every omgcp blog
  • Bitty: got really pissed when no one would eat my peach tart and force fed it to my brother
  • Jack: Had my Queer Awakening(TM) while literally sitting in a closet
  • Holster: sang through the whole Hamilton soundtrack but replaced every "Alexander" with "Adam Sandler", "Hamilton" with "Camel toe", and "Smile more" with "Macklemore"
  • Ransom: Went on a 4am rant about how cool the ocean is and wound up crying
  • Shitty: got into a fight with a bunch of random ass fuckboys about the perks of being a stripper and wound up flashing them before angrily falling into a bush
  • Lardo: invited all my friends over and used them to help me paint space on my door
  • Johnson the Metaphysical Goalie: used my lucid dreaming to turn my friends into old people
  • Chowder: tried to flirt with a pretty girl but wound up sobbing over a dog in my friend's lap while she sat there and watched
  • Nursey: told my friend to chill while I was having a panic attack
  • Dex: stopped talking to my friend bc I realized I had gay feelings for them
  • Tango: started genuinely considering the possibility of Waluigi having feelings
  • Whiskey: Went to a party and spent the whole time being a cynical homosexual
  • Parse: painted a gay flag on my face and forced myself to cry so it would run
10

Bourbon Salted Caramel Peach Tart 

It’s so good, I actually wanted to slap someone’s mother. I also let out a few profanities in approval. 

Ingredients for Fruit Topping

Sliced peaches and blueberries (or other fruit, optional) 

Ingredients for Tart Crust

1 ¼ cup all purpose flour

½ cup + 1 tbsp granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg yolk

8 tbsp cold butter chopped into cubes

2-3 tbsp ice cold water

Ingredients for Cream Filling

1 block of cream cheese (8 oz), softened to room temperature

1 tbsp heavy cream

½ cup of granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp cinnamon 

1/8 tsp ground cardamom

Pinch of salt

Ingredients for Bourbon Salted Caramel 

1 cup granulated sugar 

5 ½ tbsp unsalted butter 

½ can coconut cream 

1/8 cup Bourbon

1 tsp vanilla extract 

2 tsp sea salt 

Directions for Fruit Tart

Preheat your oven to 365 degrees Fahrenheit.

In a food processor or large bowl, combine the dry ingredients.

Add in the cubed butter and process until you have small pieces of butter running through. Add in the egg yolk and ice cold water (as needed) until your tart dough comes together. If using your hands, follow the same instructions using two knives or a pastry cutter.

Remove the dough to a well floured surface and form a ball.

Press the dough into your tart pan making sure that everything is even.

Depending on your oven, you will bake the tart crust anywhere from 12-18 minutes – until the edges of the crust are golden.

Remove crust from oven and let cool completely.

Directions for Filling

Combine all ingredients and mix until creamy and completely smooth. This will take roughly 4-5 minutes.

Directions for Caramel 

In a deep sauce pan over medium heat, melt your sugar, stirring with a plastic/silicon spatula or whisk. 

Once your sugar melts/dissolves into a light amber color, slowly add in the butter and stir until melted. 

*The mixture will bubble when the butter is added. 

Once the butter has melted, slowly add in the coconut cream while the sauce pan is over the heat. 

Once incorporated, let the mixture come to a boil for 1 minute. Add in the bourbon during this boil. 

Remove from the heat, add in the vanilla, and stir in the salt.

Let cool and thicken completely. 

Assembly

Once the tart crust has cooled completely, fill it with the cream filling. Mix in a little bit of the caramel and swirl. 

Assemble the fruit in the design of your choice. 

Drizzle with caramel and add a dusting of powdered sugar (optional).

Slice and serve.

Enjoy!

Undertale -  Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie

The hotly anticipated Undertale was released on steam a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been having a ton of fun with it. Being an nontraditional RPG, I was excited to see what kind of recovery items this game had to offer and I was not disappointed! Compared to the other food in the game (read: spider cider), this recipe is pretty tame, but it’s absolutely perfect for the new Autumn season. So which do you like better? Cinnamon or Butterscotch?

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Peach Tart                  HP 15

I haven’t missed it, have I!? As some of you may know, August is National Peach Month and even though it’s in the eleventh hour, I wanted to put something together in its observance. Originally I was endeavoring to do something based on Princess Peach as it seemed all too appropriate. Unfortunately, most of the in game foods related to her are in the form of the strawberry festooned birthday cakes she bakes for Mario and friends; we’ll just have to put that on the back burner for now :).

While searching in game Mario food for inspiration I was reminded of the overwhelming quantity of recipes from the Paper Mario series. Sure enough there were a few peachy edibles among the ranks so I decided on this one from Super Paper Mario (as well as TTYD.) Peach Tart.

So this one’s for you, Princess, even if only in name alone.

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© John Kernick

Over-the-Top Dessert: "This crust is not what you’d expect,“ says chef Marco Canora. "Instead of being crunchy, it’s puffy and cakey.” The dough is terrific for impromptu baking, because it doesn’t need to be chilled before it’s rolled out. For the filling, Canora recommends using peaches that are ripe but still firm, as drippy fruit will make the soft crust soggy.

Recipe: White Peach Tart