peace caravan

Giant Penis

context: our party had just slain a stone giant and were deciding what to do with the remains

DM: so what do you guys take from the giant?

Orc Barbarian: I TAKE HIS GIANT STONE DICK!!!

DM: fine… you can take his penis.

Later that session, we come across a peaceful trading caravan in the distance that we needto purchase supplies from

DM: you need to let them know that you come in peace, but you are too far away for them too hear you, what do you do?

Orc Barbarian: I USE THE GIANT STONE DICK AS A FLAG TO SIGNAL THAT WE COME IN PEACE!!!

Elf Ranger: god dammit why didn't think of that

Watch The Queen Conquer

To seal the peace between Skaikru and Azgeda a marriage must take place.

Raven Reyes volunteers to marry King Roan, mostly because someone needs to kill the bastard and it might as well be her.

~9k, rated M.



“I’ll do it,” Raven offered.

Clarke made eye contact with her for the first time since she’d come riding back into Arkadia dressed up like a fucking grounder princess.   Coward, Raven thought.  “What?  No, Raven—”

“You need one of us to marry the Ice Nation King.  I’m volunteering.  What’s the problem?  Think he won’t want a cripple?”

“No, I just—”

“I’m solving your problem.  When do I leave?”

Clarke hesitated and glanced at Lexa.   She made you kill Finn and now you’re her lapdog?  Lexa nodded, her hand on the hilt of her sword, and Raven wondered if she even remembered tying her to a post and slicing her with that sword.   Probably not. “We will be sending a caravan of peace offerings tomorrow morning,” Clarke said, and Raven saw the flash in her eyes when she realized what she’d just said.   I’m nothing but a sacrifice.  Just like Finn— a pawn to be lost in order to win the war.  Raven pushed back her chair and Clarke held up her hand.  “Raven, we—”

“You just told me I’m leaving tomorrow morning.  I should get packing,” Raven sneered, feeling everyone in the room watching her closely.  “You can finish the meeting without me.”   And maybe look Bellamy in the eye for once. She wondered if Clarke knew or cared about the trail of broken people she was leaving behind her, but in the end it didn’t matter.

Raven would marry the Ice King.

She’d marry him, and then she’d burn his country to the ground.


Read the rest on Ao3.

  • Listen
Play

200,000 people rally across Mexico to demand an end to the war on drugs

In cities across Mexico, more than 200,000 rallied over the weekend to demand an end to the war on drugs that has resulted in an estimated 35 to 40,000 deaths in the last four years. Mexicans marched under the banner of “Estamos hasta la madre,” which loosely translates to “We’ve had it up to here.” Marches that began on Thursday culminated yesterday in Mexico City. FSRN’s Andalusia Knoll was there and filed this report.

youtube

Mexican poet Javier Sicilia and fellow activists under the Caravan for Peace with Justice and Dignity stop in Austin in an estimated 6,000-mile journey — from the Mexican border city of Tijuana to Washington, D.C. The group’s mission is to draw attention to the bloody struggle in Mexico that has claimed the lives of thousands, including Sicilia’s son and other loved ones.