Our friend bailed on us on our movie day but we had his mug, it resulted in:

We named her Titi, at least that is her prostitute-ring name. 

We sent him a series of pictures captioned by her:

1. “Help me Eric! They’re doing things to me! Evil things! I’ve been passed around this entire restaurant, so many dirty greasy hands! HELP ME!”

2. “I don’t even know what liquid is in me!!!”

3. “They ran out of spoons! It isn’t even my time of the month!”

4. “Ahhh so many people touching me!”

5. “David (our red robins waiter) thinks I am pretty and these people are sketchy…he’s nice." 

6. "At least they tip well here.”

7. “Morgan and I are Maxim’s next cover models.”

8. “I am an excellent midwife, the streets can be hard on new mothers.”

9. “When I’m sad I go for a nature hike, which is a lot.”

10. “I have met new friends to explore my sexuality with.”

11. “Woohoo, time for a movie on our day off!”

12. “I like meeting new friends.”

13. “Before the movie we like to take pictures, we are all very close. They say that I am a cooler friend than you Daddy. I still love you.”

(I hope people think twice before ditching me and my friends! We are so awesome, but don’t let us near your dishware ;) )