Could you write a small thing about ryan leaving bodies for ray as a sign of courtship? And ray being like "what the fuck?"
Gotcha covered Anon. Warning for some gore and thank you so much for the prompt:
It’s not every day Ray finds a dead guy outside of his apartment (if it had been, he would have moved a long time ago), but there he is, lying there, eyes wide open, body riddled with bullet holes, three fingers missing.
It’s the fingers that give away who this guy is; Ray having shot them off in a struggle for his gun two days ago. It’s one of the downsides of working for Geoff Ramsey, sometimes guys tried to take them out at all hours of the day. The crew quickly learned they either have to fight back or let it happen. So far, none of them have let it happen.
Ray’s not sure who would take the time to track this guy down and kill him; especially with very little to go on. Until today, he had never seen the man’s face, hadn’t heard his voice, knew virtually nothing about him other than he worked for someone who at some point wanted Geoff and anyone working for him dead. And that three of his fingers were missing. Because of Ray.
Carefully, Ray steps over the body, making a quick phone call to the clean up crew they have on stand by, and Barbara promises to make quick work with the disposal; puns and all.
The rest of the day passes by uneventfully, and when Ray returns home no more bodies have been left in the hall. He does wonder why none of the neighbors bothered to call the cops, but then he remembers that last week he had heard gunshots coming from What’s Her Face’s apartment upstairs followed by a loud cackle. The next morning, Ray talked to the woman and she acted as if nothing happened, but he could have sworn he saw specks of blood covering her shoes. He didn’t ask, she didn’t tell, and they went about their lives.
He thinks about moving again, but dismisses the idea. His neighbor may be morally questionable, but she’s a fantastic baker and the commute to the FAHC office is only fifteen minutes. Plus, he’s already moved once thanks. Not again.
The next morning, he nearly trips over another body, this one laying right outside of his bedroom door. He takes several steps back, watching the new body warily, half expecting it to stand up and start swinging, but it just continues to lie there, immobile, throat cut, blood spattered across the front of his shirt.
Ray doesn’t recognize this guy, but he still has a feeling he should know who he is, so he snaps a picture of him and sends it to Gavin.
Gavin responds with an incoherent text followed by about fifty exclamation points and question marks, and Ray can’t help laughing softly, possibly sounding a little hysterical. He doesn’t blame Gavin for his response, would have had the same had their roles been reversed (possibly with a few less punctuation marks), and only types: Do you know who this guy is?
Gavin doesn’t respond for a good fifty minutes, but when he does it’s an email. The guy turns out to be the boss of the first dead guy. Some small time criminal with his hand in too many cookie jars, a record a mile wide, and a petty grudge against Geoff.
Why are you standing over this dead guy? Did you kill him? Gavin sends the text almost immediately after the email.
Not me. Ray sends back because if he’s going to get accused of killing one of Geoff’s enemies, he better be the one who pulled the trigger.
What sort of mof leaves a dead body on your floor?
I’ll let you know when I do.
After another quick call to Barbara, who delivers about a dozen rapid-fire dead body puns before promising to take care of the new dead guy, Ray sets out to find who has been leaving dead people around his apartment.
Geoff has a fit when Ray tells him about the body. He goes on about having to pay Barb not once but twice in the same week, and how the last person who cost him this much money on cleaners had been Ryan after his last murder break. It gives Ray an idea, but he stores it away for later, instead asking Geoff if he knows who could be responsible.
“How the fuck should I know? I gotta go make a few calls, make sure Barb isn’t the one doing it. She tried this two years ago.” He stalks away muttering to himself and Ray huffs. So much for Geoff’s help.
For a brief, very brief, moment Ray thinks maybe Barbara is behind this, but then he reminds himself she’d be more likely to leave the bodies outside of Geoff’s apartment, and he immediately abandons the idea.
No one else in the crew is all that helpful, but Michael and Jeremy offer to keep an ear out. Gavin starts going over security camera footage outside Ray’s apartment building and in the lobby, but whoever is doing this must have disabled them because he has no luck.
Jack offers up her couch until they figure out who’s behind it, but Ray kindly brushes off her concern. He’s sure whoever is doing this isn’t threatening him, but he knows there’s a message there somewhere. He just doesn’t know what is is yet.
The only person he can’t seem to find is Ryan, but knowing him he’s holed up in Sandy Shores somewhere, hiding out from the cops. It wouldn’t be the first time and Ray knows it won’t be the last either.
He goes for broke around noon, stopping by Fakehaus’ hideout, but the only one around is Lawrence. He’s sitting behind a desk, tinkering with an old laptop, but looks up when Ray walks into the room.
“Oh great, there you are. You here to pay me?”
Ray stops, confused. “Pay you?”
“Yeah, pay me. Look, I tried calling Ramsey but he’s not answering and I’m about this close-” he held up his left hand, his index finger and thumb nearly touching “-to tracking Ryan down myself.” He glances at his finger and thumb again before widening the space exponentially. “Okay, more like this…” he trails off again, squinting at his hand, and then says, “Fuck it. Just tell Ryan he still owes me for the information.”
“Yeah, information,” Lawrence retorts impatiently. “I mean fuck, if Ramsey is going to send Haywood around looking for some guy who fucked him over once like eight years ago the least he can do is send him along with some money. Especially since I found not only him but the flunky who works for him.”
Ray turns to leave, ignoring Lawrence when he calls him back. He thinks he understands what’s going on, maybe, but he can’t be sure and the uncertainty is going to drive him crazy.
Too lost in his head to actually be paying attention, he nearly runs into Ryan as he’s leaving the hideout. He looks up, scowling at Ryan.
“Uh, hi,” Ryan says with an awkward wave.
Ray narrows his eyes at him, opens his mouth to say something no doubt profound or witty, but instead grumbles, “I hate puns.”
“What?” Taken aback, Ryan shuffles back a few steps, watching Ray warily.
“I hate puns, Ryan,” Ray repeats softly. “I hate puns and yet because of you I had to deal with them.”
“I don’t…” Ryan clears his throat, his cheeks turning red. His voice cracks when he says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Betrayed by one of my closest friends and he can’t even admit what he did.” He shakes his head, pushing Ryan back a step. “Dude, you left me not one but two bodies. Two. I mean, yeah they’re both involved in my almost death, but seriously. Can’t you have buried them in the desert like a normal criminal? I had to call Barb and I swear she has a book full of puns she has at the ready whenever anyone calls her. What the hell, Ryan?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan exclaims with a helpless shrug. “I thought, you know, you’d see the bodies and…”
“And what? What? I’d swoon at your feet and declare you my hero?” Ray can’t help it, he laughs, shaking his head again. “Dude, next time. Next time just ask me out like a normal person, you idiot.”
When something close to hope flickers across Ryan’s face, Ray knows his hunch had been right, but it doesn’t stop him from quickly saying, “That’s not a yes, by the way. You’re not getting a yes that easily.”
“I’ll wear you down,” Ryan replies with a self-assured grin.
“If I find another body on my doorstep it’ll be a definite no.”
“I make no promises.”