pavarotti warbler

Somewhere in America, The old gang of Warblers log on Facebook to see Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel has updated their relationship status to ‘married’

After realizing they weren’t invited to the wedding, several whispers can be heard in the night. Voices filled with heartbreak and oncoming tears, “you mock us sir”, “this is a kangaroo court” and a warbler rolls around in his tiny little bedazzled grave.

WHO LOVES PORN W/O PLOT? I KNOW I DO! Anyway, here’s a G/T!Seblaine fic for @jackandmonty!

“This isn’t funny.”

“You have to admit, it’s kind of is.”

Blaine furrowed his brow and let out a small “humph!” before turning his head away from Sebastian’s gaze. This just led to the Warbler snickering even louder to himself. “Knock it off!” Blaine shouted up to his friend. “It isn’t funny!”

They had named the newfound condition Parvusescence (“It’s Latin,” Tina had said when Blaine was first diagnosed. “A really, really bad way to combine Latin, but still.”), otherwise known as “The Incredible Shrinking Man Syndrome”—at least, that’s what Sam liked to call it. In the span of a month, Blaine had shrunken to the height of three inches.

This was the first time Sebastian had seen his friend since his diagnosis, and although he had read reports of the disease online and had even seen pictures of those who suffered from it, this was the first he had seen its effects up close. He couldn’t help but to laugh over it. What else could he do? There was a giant elephant in the room, poor wording aside, and he had to break the tension somehow.

“Do you have any idea what this has done to my life? It’s ruined it. My life is over. Literally,” Blaine stressed. “If you’re going to laugh, then you can just… leave. Just leave.” He sat on the edge of the desk in his bedroom and frowned.

Shit. This isn’t what Sebastian had wanted. “C’mon, Killer,” he said as he scooted his chair closer to his friend, “Your life isn’t over just because of this.” The tiny boy shot him a dirty look. “I-I mean, yeah, it’s definitely different… but over? Nah.”

“I can’t go to school, which means that I can’t graduate, which means I can’t go to NYADA, which means I’ll never be on Broadway, which means that the dreams I’ve had for the last eighteen years are worthless. Kurt doesn’t want me back—he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me, and whenever he is, he just pities me. Everyone does.” His voice deflated as he tried his best to hold back tears. “I can never have a boyfriend. I can never get married. The old Warbler bird Pavarotti has a bigger casket than I’ll ever have, Sebastian! So no. No, I do not have to admit it’s kind of funny.”

Shit, shit, shit. “Blaine, hey, I didn’t mean… I was only laughing because I was nervous. I’m just trying to make you feel better,” he said as he gently used his index finger to tilt Blaine’s teeny head upwards. “Fuck. I didn’t—that didn’t hurt, did it?”

“No,” Blaine said as he blushed lightly. “At least you’ll touch me,” he muttered under his breath.


“I said… At least you’ll touch me.” Blaine’s face grew more and more red. “Everyone’s afraid to. I don’t even remember what a hug feels like. Or a kiss. And ever since this started, I haven’t…” He let his sentence drift off into space as he bit his bottom lip.

“You haven’t what?”

Blaine sighed. “I haven’t even touched myself,” he said softly.

“Oh? Oh. Oh!” Sebastian felt himself start to blush. “I, uh, I mean, I imagine that hasn’t been your first priority or anything.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything, Killer.”

“I miss it.”

Sebastian had no idea why it was that he did it, but in one fluid motion, he pulled off his shirt and tossed it on the ground. Gently picking up Blaine between his thumb and index finger, he laid back on the bed and put the tiny boy on his bare chest. Without warning, he began trying to tug off the tiny pair of jeans, but founded himself unable to. “Fuck. Can you?”

Blaine was stunned. No, he couldn’t! Of course he couldn’t! He knew that Sebastian had an infamous libido, but this was taking it too far! Yet still, Blaine was positively aching for relief, and no one looked better shirtless than Sebastian Smythe. So yes, yes he could.

“Shirt too,” Sebastian said as he wiggled his way out of his own pants. Blaine obeyed. “Good boy,” he said with a smile. He brought Blaine to his lips and gave him a wet kiss, which caused the McKinley student to let out a small moan.

Blaine had missed the sensation of contact so much. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath. He was sporting a rock hard bulge now, which Sebastian was apparently aware of, as his next order was simply “boxers.” Again, he obeyed, and again, he was brought up to the giant pair of lips.

To say they were intimidating would be an understatement. Pink, wet, and blubbery, they looked like two tectonic plates puckering up. They were pressed gently against his body, and Blaine could feel his cock get covered in the wetness of Sebastian’s lips. Sebastian must have been able to feel this too, because without warning, a massive tongue darted out of his mouth.

In Blaine’s eyes, the pink creature was as big as a whale, and seemed to have a mind of its own. It was huge and slimy, capable of swallowing him whole if it desired to. But Blaine loved it, so he allowed it to flick his erect cock. “Fuuuuuck, Seb…” Blaine moaned a little louder. “More…”

Sebastian was more than happy to oblige. He gripped Blaine again, this time a little tighter. “Just trust me,” he said as he slowly inserted his friend into his huge, gaping maw. Blaine was screaming cries of “What are you doing?!” and begging not to be eaten. It didn’t matter; that wasn’t Sebastian’s goal. When he felt Blaine on his tongue, he rolled him over and twirled him around, completely covering him in his drool.

Blaine felt disgusting, but the sensations were incredible. The mouth that hosted the monstrous tongue also hosted huge, pearly white teeth—teeth he his stomach was pressed against as Sebastian began to fuck Blaine’s tight little asshole with his tongue. Incredible couldn’t even begin to describe it. After a few moments, Blaine was so, so close to getting the relief he craved, but fell forward out of the giant mouth that was now open. He tumbled down the chest and came to a stop as he collided with Sebastian’s mammoth cock. Blaine looked at him, and soon he understood his task.

With a deep breath, he wrapped his arms around the giant’s huge dick and began to try and climb it. His hands tried gripping at the smooth, flesh surface, and his feet kept digging into it. Sebastian let out a low moan that sent a shiver down Blaine’s spine. Harder and harder he tried to climb, until finally, his hands gripped the head of the dick.

Sebastian yelped in pleasure. Blaine smiled. He opened his mouth wide and began to suck on the head while using his feet to massage the massive, pulsating organ. This continued for several minutes until finally….

“Fuck, babe, I’m gonna… gonna… gonna… cum…”

There was no way that Blaine was prepared for what happened next. The cock began convulsing and twitching, threatening to throw him off, though Blaine held his own. This only intensified Sebastian’s pleasure. Blaine ended up getting knocked backwards and landing on the soft bed of pubic hair as sticky, hot cum erupted from Sebastian like a goddamn volcano, completely drenching the shrunken man.

Blaine was lifted up into the air and inserted back into the warm, damp mouth. The tongue lapped up the gooey mess from his body and toyed with his dick, causing Blaine to finally let loose. When he was finished he was gently pulled out and placed on Sebastian’s palm, completely spent, the muscles in his legs still twitching.

“Okay. So maybe my life isn’t over entirely,” he said with a smile as he beamed up at his friend.

Bird on fire

Wait, wait, wait. The trust convo in 5x20 gave another frame to the conversation about Pavarotti and molting. Pavarotti became a metaphor for Blaine and what he went through in NY. And Blaine shut down after the break up. He stopped singing, just like Pavarotti. Blaine is a Warbler, and Warblers molt. It works.

But….fire. Blaine is a bird that burned out and now his nest is literally being set on fire. A phoenix shuts down and stops singing in preparation for burning day before rising from ashes. Blaine rose after the break up and after he burned out in NY and lost everything, and he rises again after Dalton’s burning. And this isn’t the first time he does it. He rose after Sadie Hawkins and found his voice at Dalton. He rose after the first break up and set out to conquer Mckinley and make it his own. He rose after his struggling at NYADA and flew at the showcase. He rose from the ashes repeatedly.

This road never looked so lonely
This house doesn’t burn down slowly
To ashes, to ashes

It’s time to begin, isn’t it?
I get a little bit bigger but then I’ll admit
I’m just the same as I was

Blaine Anderson is a freaking phoenix.

(And I’m so damn amused by the fact that Kurt is associated with death and now Blaine is associated with rebirth. What a couple. And ahem, you were only waiting for this moment to arise is what made Blaine see Kurt.)

I rarely post on Tumblr anymore, but I’m so proud of my new tattoo that I just had to share. This was done by the incredible Heather Maranda of Area 51 Tattoo - I first became familiar with her work from the TV series Epic Ink and once I found out she was going to be a guest artist at Wizard Con, I knew I had to have some of her work.

I wanted a piece that said Glee and Klaine and fandom to those in the know, but would only look like an awesome tattoo to those who aren’t. I think we’ve succeeded, don’t you?