anonymous asked:

I really like buttered toast. When I eat it, I can't stop thinking about Paula Dean you know? Her covered in the yellow oils oozing all over her mature big beautiful body, ughh. I wanna squirt butter all over them thunder thighs, all over her warm rolls. Oh man wanna suffocate my face in that belly, lick that wrinkly pussy while I suffocate her with a big stick of butter. Fuck man, Paula Dean is my perfect woman, what a milf. You think she's into Asian men? I got a yellow stick for her 😜 #AMWF

there are things in life that should be left unsaid

this is one of those things

Random BillDip head canons 2

- Dipper is the one in the relationship to go out and get Bill a really thoughtful Valentine’s day gift- probably yellow roses and gourmet chocolates whilst bills the kind of boyfriend to give him a still bleeding heart and acts overly offended when Dipper slams the door in his face.

-Despite claiming he’s not afraid of the dark Dipper sleeps curled up around Bill and has Bills eye act as a night light until he can fall asleep.

-Bill’s the one in the relationship to try new human foods- he’s found he’s a ravid fan of chicken nuggets, but only the ones shaped like dinosaurs.

-dippers the one to buy said chicken nuggets due to bill being banned from most stores.

- safe word of the day is ‘paula dean’, courtesy of Bill.

-Despite fighting over really anything Bill is always the one to apologize, usually dragging Dipper to the couch to watch Disney films and make up cuddles

The Zodiac Signs Gay Icon Representative

ARIES: Mariah Carey


GEMINI: Azealia Banks

CANCER: Lana Del Rey

LEO: Whitney Houston

VIRGO: Beyoncè

LIBRA: Kim Kardashian West

SCORPIO: Katy Perry



AQUARIUS: Paris Hilton

PISCES: Rihanna

This is why I don't write Connverse
  • <p> <b>S :</b> My name's Steven Universe and this is Diners, Drive In's, & Dives<p/><b>C :</b> Who are you talking to? And what did you do with your hair?<p/><b></b> *Several Paragraphs Later*<p/><b>S :</b> THIS CHICKEN'S RAW! COMPLETELY *BEEP* RAW!<p/><b>C :</b> Did...did you just say beep?<p/><b></b> *several paragraphs later*<p/><b>S :</b> *Looks at Paula Dean pan* *Sheds single tear* Why? Why, Paula? Why?<p/><b>C :</b> You have got to be kidding me.<p/></p>
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Doesn't wash face for 1 day:</b> Calm, there are clouds, maybe a little oil but nothing too serious.<p/><b>Doesn't wash face for 2 days:</b> God has fallen from the heavens, chaos is admist, Dogs have left earth, volcanoes appear in the Midwest, I am in arranged marriage with Adam Sandler, Martha Stewart goes into retirement, Paula dean rises from the dead, clickbait is the only reliable news source<p/></p><p/></p>

jadpeanut  asked:

No Connverse request? Let's fix that! A cute fluffy slice of life where Steven teaches Connie to cook so she can make a surprise for her parents anniversary

I foresee myself writing Paula dean, guy fieri, Gordon Ramsey, and Rachel Ray jokes and a cliché flour fight.

Add. Note this will be the last request I’ll be taking for the foreseeable future