paul wilder

When insults had class



These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
“Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

“He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway).

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” - Oscar
Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend…. if you have one.”
(George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill)
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second  …. if there is
one."  (Winston Churchill, in response.)

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” -
Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” -
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” -
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx

10

what do we want? drugs! when do we want them? now! ( requested by anonymous )

David Bowie

Alan Rickman

Sir Terry Wogan

Harper Lee

Paul Daniels

Sir George Martin

Ronnie Corbett

Denise Robertson

David Gest

Victoria Wood

Prince

Muhammad Ali 

Caroline Aherne

James Last

Gene Wilder

Jean Alexander

Pete Burns

Andrew Sachs

Zsa Zsa Gabor 

Rick Parfitt

And now George Michael 

Gone but never, not ever, forgotten. 

9

*takes out the box of tissues* Meanwhile, in the parallel universe,

*wipes tears* the FOX picks up “Doctor Who” pilot *sobs*

and turns it into complete 3-season series *blows nose*

where Paul has his real hair and kicks the crap out of Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarans, Yetis and other wankpots *falls on the floor*

has multiple companions, includijng cameos, the return of the Monk, the Rani and The Celestial Toymaker, and a full-motion 40th Anniversary “Zagreus” ON the SCREEN *bangs head on the floor*

Has more stories about Gallifrey and suffers childhood flashbacks.

Meets historical figures. Loses his memories and his clothes. *swoons*

Regenerates into Shalka Nine by dissolving into a swarm of blue butterflies, accompanied by a heartbreaking symphonic theme.

*dies happily*

other things i ❤ about quantum break

spoilers and in no particular order

* after the time machine creates the fracture one of paul’s first words to jack are “make sure will’s okay”

* paul commenting on jack’s inability to respect people’s personal space when jack reads paul’s private emails right in front of him

* beth listening to toto on the car radio

* the nickname beth gave herself

* the hours between amaral and paul’s emails to each other after she asks him what he’s doing for dinner

* if paul surrenders to the chronon syndrome he sends out an email about how killing amaral “broke his fucking heart”

* emily burke’s signed copy of alan wake’s last novel

* how lonely and out of place charlie looks in the lifeboat

* martin hatch at riverport university before the fracture introducing himself to you and then disappearing when you turn around and look for him again

* you can also see him in the time machine if you look closely

* the liam burke psyche eval: he has deduced-quite correctly-that he was being trained for a specific scenario Monarch believes will happen. He is also painfully aware that if and when that scenario arrives, he will not be part of the solution.

* TIME KNIFE made me laugh so hard I cried dammit

* the equally funny A CIVILIAN’S GUIDE TO TIME TRAVEL

* beth’s second journal is the most tragically depressing thing, wow. how she spies on jack before he ever meets her. how weak paul is when she finds him and how she basically shoots first instead of talking and what that might’ve changed. I’ve come to accept my mission was a lie.

* the way courtney hope plays beth in 2010 vs. 2016

* watch how remedy constantly emphasizes jack reaching for/touching/holding beth’s hand until you reach that climactic scene where he absolutely cannot (this is why your heart hurts)

* ps: paul’s ‘mystery woman threat neutralized’ post-it on the july 2010 whiteboard ouch

* that beth has been dead for SIX YEARS when the difference for jack seeing her before she died was only like minutes

* when paul gets back to 1999 he literally has no one to explain to him what was going on at the end of time ie who beth was and why she was trying to kill him which is REALLY TRAGIC when you consider

* when paul gets back to 1999 he literally has no one

* in episode 2, if you choose personal, and paul and jack talk in the interrogation room and jack asks him, “do I stop before you’re dead?” paul is so visibly hurt he can barely talk. “when you’re ready to cooperate, I’ll be here.” my heart!

* also paul’s hurt face when he sees the lab entrance records and hatch has set sofia up (which makes it even more powerful if you pick him choosing to believe her in the face of that “evidence” anyway)

* if you choose control, let us all contemplate paul willing to give up his humanity in order to save it til the end aggggh jack why couldn’t you see

* re: that: paul calling jack his greatest disappointment at the final confrontation in the above scenario :( he was so hurt and they could’ve done so much good if they worked together

* these lines of dialogue:

“come with me and we can see this through or hold on to your hope and burn with it.”

“answer me this question, paul: in everything you’ve seen, do I stop before you’re dead?”

I never felt good doing this; it was the only thing I knew how to do.”

“I will keep the lights on when the world goes dark.” 

especially the last one

* because you can fucking time travel but you can’t even save the people you know you’ve lost! how awful and how beautiful

* this game is so good it makes me want to write

10

private practice 4x10 – just lose it ( requested by anonymous )

2