paul stacey

4. Laugh and Cry with Stacey McKenzie

I’m excited that Stacey made it to this iteration of NTM. I’ve been a fan since she was a judge on Canada’s Next Top Model a full decade ago. Her personality is as odd as her appearance, and that’s to say very, very odd. She quickly fills the runway coach void left by Miss J with her own brand of crazy.

Leave it to Stacey to show up with a trio of sassy voguers to show a bunch of amateur runway walkers how to… well, I don’t know that they walk any better, but they’ve certainly learned how to make fools of themselves and get laughed out of their next casting.

Her critiques of the girls’ walks consist mainly of pointing, snapping, and grunting in approval. Stacey loved the shit out of this move by Cherish:

which I think tells you all you need to know about how useful her feedback was.

But Stacey didn’t just show up to to drop knowledge. She also came to drop names. Did you know Stacey worked with Jean Paul Gaultier? Well you definitely know that fact now - she mentioned him more than CoryAnne referenced her supermodel mother. Stacey also twice mentions working with fellow “Vogue” expert, Madonna. It’s all part of her “believe in yourself” lesson - if you believe in yourself, you can meet celebrities. Like Zendaya, for example!

It’s not all fun and games for Stacey, though. Like a Top Model semifinalist, she comes prepared with a sad story from her past. Did you know she was rejected by multiple agencies before signing with one in Paris? And that she met her boss while wearing a $1 dress?!

At this point in the story, the models are literally sobbing in unison. Maybe the editing is wonky here, but the models seem devastated that Stacey met someone important while wearing a cheap dress.

The story does go on to get a little sadder: the agency head suggested that Stacey was too ugly to hire as a model. It’s not quite a live feed of Syria like you might expect from all the girls’ tears, but sure, that’s awkward.

No one seems more moved by Stacey’s story than Krislian, who says she can relate because when she goes to agencies, they always tell her that she’s “too sexy and too commercial.” Yup, that’s totally the same thing as being told that you’re too ugly. The struggle is real, Krislian!

On her way out, Stacey leaves the models with some surprisingly violent advice:

Sounds like a good way to end up with prison! But with any luck, you’ll wind up with a cellmate as cray as Stacey.

4 Funniest Moments of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 23 Ep. 2

10

“The more I thought, the more I felt like crying. Life seemed so sweet and so sad, and so hard to let go of in the end. But hey, man, every day is a brand new deal, right? Just keep on working and something’s bound to turn up.”

American Splendor (2003, Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini)

cinematography by Terry Stacey