So me and @blindbatalex collaborated to write a what happened before and after in the united dressing room at the Sunderland game. Hope you guys like it :-)
It was a perfectly ordinary (and by ordinary Luke meant intense and stressful) Monday when Ander showed up at Carrington and declared that Sunday, April 9th was going to be opposites day. “Jupiter will stand by the sun just so on Sunday and their combined power will turn everything upside down” he said with utmost seriousness as Luke pulled on his training kit, “and the worst part is the effects will be especially strong in Northern Europe.”
There was a beat as the dressing room took Ander’s words in, waiting for the punchline of the joke. Then - when Ander pulled out a glossy magazine and pointed at a rubbish star column as backup for his claim - they realized that he was completely serious and then even Luke was struggling not to roll over with laughter.
“Dude, you realize sun and Jupiter don’t stand by each other just so, right? Jupiter being a planet orbits the sun and stuff?” Jesse asked, wiping at the tears, and Michael jumped in “Will sun be a good host and offer Jupiter a cuppa then or will they just stand awkwardly?”
Ander looked put off, which meant that he looked like a pouty 10 year old and when Luke pointed this out they were howling with laughter again until Mourinho came and marched them off to the pitch with a stern expression on his face.
They spent the week debating exactly how an opposites day would work. Would cats suddenly turn into dogs? Would verbs mean their opposites too so that a sentence like ‘we did not draw’ mean ‘we drew’ because ‘not’ was now affirmative and draw was now - ‘win’?
“You mock me, but you’ll see,” Ander said with an ominous air as they entered the 3rd hour of discussion on their way to Sunderland, “when everything you know turns to its opposite tomorrow.”
Luke shook his head. He didn’t know what their Spaniards ate but he was pretty sure opposites day was low on the list of the things they needed to worry about.
“See,” they told Ander at breakfast the next day, “it’s Sunday and we are still men, still at the 6th place and Liverpool still haven’t won the league in the last two decades–”
Mourinho entered the room.
“–maybe don’t pay too much attention to star mags the next time, kiddo.”
Ander looked unhappy at being the butt of yet another joke but didn’t protest.
“Team, I have an announcement,” Mourinho said, suddenly towering over them from where he stood by the table.
“Michael, I am thinking of starting you on the bench today,” Michael nodded and if he was disappointed by the news it didn’t show on his face. “And as both Chris and Wayne are out injured we need a new captain.” Luke didn’t need to hear the rest of the announcement to know what was coming. Herrera or Zlatan as the captain and oh sorry Luke you are on the bench again. He had to try hard to not to roll his eyes.
“So I’ve decided that Marouane should captain today, and Luke you are starting.”
With that he turned and walked away, leaving the table slack-mouthed in disbelief.
AFTER THE GAME
“I told you guys opposite day was real, I told you!!!” Ander exclaimed, rather happily. Luke looked at him with a grin on his face. He started today and they won. And the more surprising thing was that he got a hug and a pat on the back from the manager. Wow.
Once in the dressing room, once the drinks started coming out, that’s when things got weird. As Marouane could not drink, he just looked around at the hilariously unstable drunken men. And that is when Michael Carrick said, “ IT’S KARAOKE TIME.” After that, there was just a haphazard situation where Fellaini witnessed Zlatan singing some gibberish words. It amazed him to think that even drunk, Zlatan would sing a song. Moments later, he himself was standing in line, forced by Marcos Rojo, to sing some song. At that time, it was Luke’s turn and the 21 year old looked like he was having an extremely good time and Fellaini smiled thinking how much he deserved it. And then it was his turn. Standing up at the podium (which were the player benches) with a mike in his hand (which was someone’s deodorant), he started singing, “HEY I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT HERE’S MY NUMBER, SO CALL ME MAYBE!!!!”.
On the other end of the room, at the door, peeking in shyly was Adnan Januzaj, who had come to meet his teammates. And he was greeted by such a situation which left him flabbergasted. His mouth wide open, he started at his friend singing call me maybe with a deodorant in his hand as a mike. But before Adnan could make an escape from the weirdness, he found himself being dragged in by Matteo Darmian and Henrikh Mkhitariyan. He greeted them, and then hurriedly moved towards Fellaini, who came off the podium when seeing Adnan, giving the mike off to Ander who proceeded to sing the macarena song causing all the teammates to join the dance. In a midst of grown up men doing the macarena, Adnan asked him, “ I can understand why the others are acting like this but what has gotten on you?” And at that moment, out of the corner of his eye, Marouane could see Mourinho standing at the door, a surpressed smile on his face. Fellaini replied, with a smile, “well, I just got caught in the moment I guess.”