patrick unicorn

I made this for a friend. He needed to know the basics of Emo Town.

The Infinite Wrench Week #8: STARBUCKS UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO HEAVEN

STARBUCKS UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO HEAVEN
© 2017 ryan patrick welsh

Two Neos stand SLC and SRC. Behind their backs they are holding a Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, probably pretty melted, which is great. At GO they reveal the beverage and hold it out in front of them with a straight arm. Throughout the piece they must keep their arm extended and straight.

GO.

Neo 1: BEHOLD

Neo 2: BEHOLD

Neo 1: PERFECTION IN A CUP

Neo 2: PERFECTION IN PLASTIC

Neo 1: PERFECTION WITH A LID

Neo 2: PERFECTION WITH A STRAW

Neo 1: BEHOLD

Neo 2: BEHOLD

Neo 1: IS THIS NOT WHAT WE HAVE ALL DREAMED OF

Neo 2: IS THIS NOT WHAT OUR DREAMS ARE MADE OF

Neo 1: IS THIS NOT THE BLOOD OF CHRIST

Neo 2: IS THIS NOT THE AMBROSIA OF THE GODS THEMSELVES

Neo 1: BEHOLD

Neo 2: BEHOLD

Neo 1: THE MANUFACTURING OF FANTASY TO REALITY

Neo 2: THE WONDERS AND ACHIEVEMENTS OF CAPITALISM

Neo 1: FOR YOU

Neo 2: FOR ALL OF YOU

Neo 1: BEHOLD

Neo 2: BEHOLD

Both: THE STARBUCKS UNICORN DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE MANA STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN MOST FUN EVER FRAPPUCINO

Neo 1: AND NOW A READING FROM THE PUBLIC RELATIONS AT STARBUCKS

Neo 2: IT SHALL BE  “a flavor and color-changing creation made with a dusting of pink powder blended into a mango creme Frappuccino and layered with a sour powder topping.”

Neo 1: “When you stir the drink, the color transforms from purple to pink, and the flavor goes from sweet and fruity to tangy and tart.”

Neo 2: AMEN

Neo 1: AMEN

Neo 2: AND SO IT WAS QUOTED IN THE BUSINESS INSIDER

Neo 1: AND IN SEVERAL OTHER ONLINE NEWS SOURCES

Neo 2: AND IT WAS GOOD

Neo 1: BEHOLD

Neo 2: BEHOLD

Neo 1: MAGIC AND WIZARDRY

Neo 2: SCIENCE AND INVENTION

Neo 1: A MAJOR WORK OF MODERN ART

Neo 2: A GIFT FROM THE SUPREME OVERLORD

BOTH: HOWARD SCHULTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Neo 1: THANK YOU HOWARD

Neo 2: THANK YOU HOWARD

Neo 1: ONLY 39 GRAMS OF SUGAR IN A TALL

Neo 2: THAT’S ONLY 1.37568 OUNCES

BOTH: THANKS HOWARD

Neo 1: DON’T YOU JUST LOVE FUN

Neo 2: BOY DO I LOVE FUN

Neo 1: FUN FUN FUN

Neo 2: SO MUCH FUN

Neo 1: THIS IS GONNA BE A FUN SUMMER

Neo 2: A FUN SUMMER OF POSSIBILITY

Neo 1: ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Neo 2: OUR DREAMS ARE ACHIEVABLE

Neo 1: MAGIC IS ALL AROUND US

Neo 2: IM HOLDING ONTO MAGIC

beat

Both: THE STARBUCKS UNICORN DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE MANA STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN MOST FUN EVER FRAPPUCINO

Neo 1: AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME

Neo 2: AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME

Both: I’M READY FOR ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES

Both neos proceed to suck in the entire frappuccino as fast as they can. Curtain is called when the first Neo finishes the beverage.

CURTAIN.

Embrace your weirdness. Make it your own unique factor. Being weird or strange is like being limited edition. Each of us is one of a kind and each of us is weird. So next time someone calls you weird, thank them. They basically just called you a unicorn.
—  Patrick Rothfuss
When you're off sick...
  • Normal Friends: How are you feeling? You weren't in school today
  • Me: Just have a tummy bug but I'm feeling a bit better
  • Best Friend: YOU DISAPPEARED! WHERE ARE YOU? DID YOU DIE? HAVE YOU BEEN KIDNAPPED? WHO DO I HAVE TO PAY TO RELEASE YOU?
  • Me: I have retired to become a unicorn and moved to live on the moon with my husband Patrick Stump

Need more people to follow and generally wanna make new friends so re blog if your into:
-Vampire dairies
-HIMYM
-Zoella
-Doctor Who
-Rose Tyler
-Mermaids
-youtubers (most)
-Taylor Swift
-OITNB
-Pretty little lairs
-Once upon a time
-Adventure Time
-Ariana Grande
-Marvel
-Captain America
-Thor
-Sherlock
-Benedict Cumberbatch
-Delena
-Swarkles
-Harry potter
-David Tennant
-John Green
-Casper lee
- Big Bang Theory
-One Direction
-BMTH
-Sleeping with sirens
-Lucy Hale
-Unicorns
-Neil Patrick Harries
-Star Wars
-LOTR
-Beauty
-Disney
-Bright hair colours
-Matt smith

Band quotes, unicorn version

Me and falling-in-pierced-horizons want to share these gems with you:

“You can’t trust all unicorns which is kinda sad in a way but it’s true.” - Oliver Sykes

“Josh is a much cuter unicorn.” - Tyler Joseph 

“If liking disney makes you a unicorn, i’m a flaming unicorn.” - Austin Carlile 

“Keep your unicorns out of my cornflakes, i’m not interested.” - Gerard Way 

“Don’t ever let a single unicorn tell you what you can and can’t do.” - Ronnie Radke

“One might call it a unicorn, but we like to call it a fanbase.” - Alex Gaskarth 

“Just wait things out. Unicorns won’t be bad forever, i promise you.” - Vic Fuentes

“Noone thinks bad things about unicorns. They are all busy thinking bad things about themselves.” - Patrick Stump

“All our unicorns are stupid and make terrible decisions, that’s why we love them.” Danny Worsnop

“Be unicorn. Stay unicorn. We got you.” - Jaime Perciado.

“Just because she doesn’t have 100+ likes on her pictures doesn’t mean she’s not a unicorn.” - Oliver Sykes 

“I struggle with my own shit. I’m not a unicorn.” - Kellin Quinn

“We are normal unicorns, you know what i mean?” - Oliver Sykes

“I’m just a man, i’m not a unicorn.” - Gerard Way 

“If someone loves unicorns, you should probably love them.” - Chris Drew

“Alan, my guitar player, he’s the greatest unicorn i know.” - Austin Carlile 

“If i’m labeled a unicorn for wanting to stop this world from hate, then so be it.” - Kellin Quinn

“Everything i do can fall in the unicorn category.” - Jordan Witzigreuter 

“At the end of the day, it’s most important to enjoy unicorns.” - Josh Francheschi 

“More like unicorn-non-fiction.” - Josh Dun

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Patrick Stump(2009)- Dance, Dance