patrice o'neal

“Liars don’t like me. People who lie, people who live a lie. There’s people who love living lies. I was thinking the other day, ‘brutal honesty’ is a dumb term. The word ‘brutal’ should be associated with lying, like “You’re a brutal liar”, as opposed to somebody who’s just going to inform you of what they believe the truth to be. I love honest shit, man. You can’t fuck with the truth”

- Patrice O'Neal

White resentment is the ‘new’ identity politics

 'White resentment’ is the newly visible version of the oldest ‘identity politics’ in (white) history. The politics of the ‘human condition’, ‘human rights’, ‘human civilisation’ has always relied on the assumption the the identity of the ‘human’ in question is white. When non-white people challenge this, white people get tearful & mad.

What is pathetic about this new ‘identity politics’, emerging with Trump, Brexit etc, is that it is recognising two things which are really happening, but giving lazy & crap explanations.

White people can see that:

  1. being paid more because you are white is less and less common,
  2. all positions in the labour market are getting paid less.

They’re not wrong, everyone can see this happening. However, white identity politics is pretending: 

(1) is unjust (it isn’t; non-white people are entering jobs and incomes that white people used to monopolise) & 

(2) is only happening to white people - because black people / immigrants are choosing to make whites poorer (they isn’t; it’s happening to the entire multiracial working class).

This ignores the fact that brown/black/immigrant peoples are workers too, and because: 

(1) is still true, & 

(2) happens to everyone…

white people are getting relatively AND in real terms poorer - this is not fair (we should organise society so everyone has what they need & want), but ‘white resentment’ says it is the fault of black people (it isn’t), that black people are immune somehow (they aren’t), and that if black people went away / sat down everything would be nice again (it wouldn’t).

Basically, white people don’t want to admit that white people suffer the same amount - and in the same ways - as black people, because to do that would to say that black people (who are in the white imagination are still, poor, dirty, diseased, slightly less-than-human) suffer as much - and in the same ways - as white people.

White people are terrified of becoming black.  

‘White resentment’ says: my identity is determined by not being poor, not getting poor, not being like black people, and I will do anything to avoid becoming black - this is the new white identity politics that is playing out in majority white nations. It’s like a racialised version of ‘gay panic’.

The counter-intuitive things is that the white identity is based on being superior, both by being privileged and being privileged in the quality of their suffering. For the rich to suffer is more acute, apparantly, than for the poor to suffer. Poor people, after all, are used to suffering - the skin of the rich is too thin for that treatment! Similarly, black people are used to being black (poor etc), white people aren’t built for it! White people want to suffer less, and suffer more simultaneously - they want to continue the inequality of suffering, and of feeling that suffering.

Fascism always says the same thing; the Other (Jews, Muslims, Mexicans, Irish, Chines, Japanese - pick your historical figure of hated) is a monstrous threat AND the the Other is pathetically weak - therefore we must crush the beast (because it is strong) and we can (because it is weak)).

Black / feminist ‘identity politics’ is being characterised as illegitimate exactly because it has a genuine grievance which must be denied for the White grievance to exist: white supremacy can’t deal with not being special, it must believe it is the biggest victim (the most important member) of a shitty system.

Or whiteness could learn to be less pathetic; that what it hates about black people (poverty, powerlessness) is nothing to do with the colour of our skins, but something capitalism does to us all. However, while the white working class continues to work on behalf of the white capitalist class, we will all lose. White people need to leave their ghettos and understand the system as a whole.

Think about it. Or, just watch this video - its the same argument but funnier: Patrice O'Neal Breaks Down Radiohead’s Creep! 

Time Hoes

This is what a man is when he’s in the friend zone with a broad. Men want to fuck women in no time. Women want time before they fuck men. Why should I whore out my time just to find out if the sex is any good? This is why it is best to find the best way to let women know you want to fuck right away because it’s pointless and fraudulent to you and her to try to “friend-your-way” into some pussy. You know I’m telling the truth. The friend-zone trap is your fault and she thinks you are a straight up clown. While she’s wasting your time on “implied” pussy, having you take her to the movies and out to eat, some soldier who laid his pimp game down right out the gate is fucking the daylights out of her without having to do any of that.

Just lay it on the line, flat out. Be prepared to take a loss. Make it known in so many words and actions that your precious time is just as important or possibly more important than any pussy. If she is worried about being a sexual hoe you need to be worried about being a time hoe. And that’s the game and if she doesn’t like it, take a loss & move it right along. Keep your pimp game strong gentlemen. 

RIP Black Phillip.

- Chris Masamune


Classic video of Patrice O'Neal schooling this clueless lady on humor and proving that in fact rape jokes are very, very, funny. Also he says ‘donkey punch’ on fox news and was forever banned. 

You will always be a comedic hero, Patrice.