patiente test

#justdiabetesthings that nobody talks about

- catching every single cold and infectious disease ever because your immune system sucks

- bg levels too high? time for excruciating cramps in a random body part!

- when you can feel your bg dropping

- Constant Thirst™

- related: needing to use the bathroom all the damn time

- do i have my meter in my bag? do i have my insulin in my bag? do i have a snack in case my bg drops? do i have glucagon in case i pass out with no warning? do i have my phone in case i need to call an ambulance? do i h

- someone non-diabetic: “why do you always have a bag with you lmao”

- h e a d a c h e s

- sensory overload when you’re hypoglycaemic

- “why do you care about carbs so much lmao”

- “i would have offered you some cake but you can’t eat sugar right? you poor thing uwu”

- when you’re pretty sure your bg is too low but also what if you’re faking it as an excuse to eat something

- “you don’t look disabled though??”

- your friends looking mildly horrified when you casually joke about stabbing yourself several times a day

- when your phone/laptop is low on charge, and you’re like “oh no it’s going hypoglycaemic” but you’re only half joking

- the increased risk of anxiety and depression, to an extent that many diabetic clinics routinely test their patients for symptoms

- finding someone else who’s diabetic and they understand

That painful moment

When you have to hold back a comment because you know the other person is going to get all defensive and emotional and you’ve already dealt with too much of it that day and will quite possibly lose your cool and go into overdrive if one more person starts acting stupid.

OK where is your off switch?

some arkham headcanons:

  • eddie has an alarm on his bed to warn the staff that he’s gotten out of it so he can’t bug the night guard who does hourly checks/suicide watches.
  • art therapy is kind of peaceful when the joker’s not around and throwing paint down people’s drawings and ruining their creations (which has caused an untold number of fights, esp with harley, eddie and harvey.)
  • harley likes making big posters that all the rogues can contribute to. she cuts out little flowers pictures, question marks, coins, umbrellas and other rogues paraphernalia out of colored paper with her dull scissors and it makes her happy as hell when she finishes the “our arkham family” poster and it gets hung in the reception. the next time they bust out of arkham, ivy steals it for her.
  • also: FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. ok so ivy is kind of annoyed embroidery and knitting got banned bcos she liked them (thanks to, guess who, you got it the joker but also tbf a few other rogues) but she likes making friendship bracelets for harley who whines at her the whole time bcos harley doesn’t have the patience to make it herself. 
  • jonathan spends most of his time in the library, trying to sneak up on unsuspecting patients to test out new fear theories. sometimes it works and then sometimes he gets decked by harvey after scaring him and making him fall off a ladder while looking for some books on the top shelf. 
  • the only real competition is when they decide to do karoke for occupational therapy. then it becomes fucking Arkham Idol. popular songs are ‘it’s raining men’, ‘death of a bachelor’ and lots of britney spears. clayface is always accused of cheating bcos ‘hello basil u can literally turn into any celeb and just sing the song!!’ which can be pretty entertaining both for the ladies and gents if you know what i mean ;) eddie wanted to buy a buzzer and organize a panel but the arkhamites refused so he just settles for criticizing them as they walk off the make-shift stage in the rec room and maybe getting a chair thrown at him. 
  • therapy is only good for roasting each other. god forbid anyone try to get any actual healing from it, except maybe harley, but even she isn’t safe from being torn to shreds by the rogues. on time freeze decided to tell a cute story about when him and nora were first dating and you know how the rogues responded? they made fun of him, like ‘goddamn victor no wonder she went and tried to die on you’. he’s learned to keep his mouth shut from now on but still secretly wants to turn half the rogues gallery into popsicles.
  • if a holiday crosses over with a gotham rogues gimmick - god help you. ivy is fucking intense on earth day. she’ll straight up scream at you for an hour if you put something recyclable in the garbage. better watch ur fucking back on halloween when jon is around, he’s probably rigged the vents to pump out fear toxin and some shit. christmas is prime break-out time for mr. freeze.
  • harvey can either make ur life in arkham heaven or hell. he’ll either have your back, beat up some punks disrespecting you and flirt with you or he’ll be spreading every minor infraction around the entire asylum and ratting you out to the wardens. it’s just about whether he respects you or whether you catch him on a good day or not.
  • they keep waylon mostly in the underground cells :( so when he gets to come up to the cafeteria or group therapy or occupational therapy he is? so relieved?? even if the rogues are assholes he is so relieved to see familiar faces and actually have people to talk to
4

When Sehun went from #saywhut to #nailedit in a matter of seconds

Allah ‎ﷻ tests different people with different trials, because everyone has a different level of patience, tolerance, and faith.. Trials are a truly blessing in disguise. All He wants from us is for us to turn towards Him in meekness and humbleness and for us to be patient.
These tests actually differentiate us believers from one another in terms of ranking in the eyes of Allah ‎ﷻ and therefore we should know that those who are tested and are patient are forgiven of their sins as sins falls off a person who is patient through trials. Therefore we should realise that us being tested with trials and tests will never go unrewarded for Allah ‎ﷻ rewards how much he wants to those who are patient through trials and those who turn towards Him in humility and meekness.

We should also approach hardships and tests as in that it is the decree of Allah ‎ﷻ so we should never ask Allah ‎ﷻ “Why” has He given us such trials! For questioning Allah why He has decreed something will mean that not only have we gone through so much grief and torment from these trials but that we have actually added to our sins by questioning Allah ‎ﷻ and we will be accountable for that.

Patience is one of the greatest attributes a person can acquire and Allah ‎ﷻ is with those who are patient.
Sometimes when we go through great trials we get decieved into thinking that other people around us must be living a happy and content life. We are wrong to think in this way for we do not know what goes on in peoples lives on a day to day basis. Shaitaan is our eternal sworn enemy and Only wants us to lose hope and faith and to go away from Allah ‎ﷻ but we should reject our enemy who only wants our destruction. We must realise that if we continuously strive and keep turning towards Allah ‎ﷻ and be patient then the final victory will be ours.

So be grateful for the hardships, because they are decreed in order to purify ourselves, our hearts, and to make us turn to Allah ‎ﷻ with humbleness in repentance; hardships endured with beautiful patience are rewarded with sins forgiveness and an increase of imaan, by the will of Allah ‎ﷻ. At least, we should be grateful for it could have been much worse.

Sa'ad ibn Abi Waqqas (ra) asked the Prophet (saws) “Ya Rasulullah, who amongst people are the most tried (subject to hardships)?” Rasulullah (saws) said: The Anbiyyah (messengers of Allah) and after them the Salihoon (righteous) and then in accordance to your iman, taqwaah etc, there will be more hardships, not less. Every mu'min will be tried by difficulties in accordance (proportion) to their deen. If in this person’s deen is solidity (their deen is deeply rooted) the balaa’ will increase, to purify, cleanse, strengthen, elevate the person. And if in the deen in this person there is riqaa (weakness, thinness), then that persons balaa will be weakened, until the person walks on the earth cleansed of sins until they meet Allah.

Ya Allah ‎ﷻ make us amongst those who attain sabr. Oh Allah provide us the strength to remain steadfast in Your cause and the wisdom to place all of our trust in you.
Ameen.

إِنَّ اللّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

Verily, Allah is with those who are Patient.

(2:153)

Patient Namjoon(Namjoon Version Smut)

Well, I know I said i wanted this to be a Dr. Namjoon smut but I’ve decided to make him the patient this go round. You’ll see why..  In my next smut which is the threesome with Namseok. This story is a special story for all of you but for four people especially. @dlcute @princess-of-luxury @xnamjoons-slutx@thegirlthatlikesasianboys

I don’t know how to warn you other than saying this is an smut that you may not want to read if you don’t like bdsm that much. It’s also AMBW. I don’t even want to tell you guys what kinks is in it. Just read it. You’ll enjoy it. Word Count: 5501

Your name: submit What is this?

Sitting at your desk with your legs propped open underneath the closed space your fingers danced across your wet clit, the soft sounds of your pussy being played with echoing throughout the quiet room. You had your lab coat bunched around your hips, sliding one finger inside of you curving and wiggling it to find your spot. Back arching a soft sigh left your lips as you felt your stomach muscles starting to clench indicating you would cum soon.

“Ms. Y/N I’m here for my appointment!” A familiar husky voiced called from the door. Jumping you pulled your hands from your wet pussy straightening up as Namjoon pushed open the cracked door and came inside.

“O-oh yes hello Namjoon please come take a seat, I’ll be right with you.” You spoke softly your cheeks flaming with heat.

“Is everything ok?” You heard him ask slowly, the mock concern in his tone made you groan inwardly. What if he found out you were fingering yourself? You would be in so much fucking trouble. Shaking your head, you straightened up faking a sneeze and quickly reaching for the tissue to wipe your fingers and your nose looking back at him.

“Oh, good heavens! I’m so sorry about this Namjoon please forgive me I have to go wash my hands and make sure you don’t get sick.” He smiled with understanding moving to sit in the chair beside you. Getting up you quickly dashed into the bathroom in the hallway washing off your fingers, scrubbing them so that he would only smell strawberries if he was to for some strange reason grab at your fingers. Smiling up at yourself you fixed your white lab button up coat, looking down to check and make sure your red pumps were intact. Hair and lipstick was straight and thankfully not sweaty. You made your way back into the room and Namjoon lifted his head to give you a bright smile his dimples showing as he drank you in.

“My my Y/N. You’re such a beautiful doctor.” He purred lightly sitting up a bit.

“Thank you Namjoon. You’re such a handsome patient. But I’m sure my fiancé wouldn’t like it if he found out you said such things or if I did so let’s keep this professional.” You smirked walking towards your desk.

“Professional. Got it!” Namjoon stretched out, his long limbs moving with him. You watched as the peak of his abs came out while his shirt rose the little teasing show causing your breath to stop momentarily, his hand swiped across your pen holder on the desk in the midst of him stretching causing him to knock it over. “Doctor! I’m so sorry.” He was going to bend down to reach it but you stopped him with your hand up.

“No need. I got this.” Bending over, you picked up the pen holder, also taking your time to pick up the pens as well. Your lab coat had rose up your legs, you knew the peak of your blue underwear were on display for him, how quiet he had gotten. You could feel him becoming stiff, you could feel that heated glare staring at your chocolate thighs and your nice round ass. You knew also that the panties you had on were a size too small showing the outline of your pussy how it would give him a clear view of it with your legs squeezed together.

“All better.” You smiled once the pens were up putting them on the desk sitting back in your black swivel chair grabbing at your dark blue notepad flipping it to a clean sheet of paper. You grabbed at a blank pen looking at Namjoon.

“So, what can I do for you today sir?” You asked him, seeing the faintest of a jaw clench you felt victory in your gut but you made no move to say anything right now.

“Well Y/N –“

“It’s Dr. Y/N.”

“Y/N” Namjoon rasped out your name and you swallowed thick nodding your head.

“Y/N it is then. Continue.”

“Do you always interrupt your patients?” Namjoon asked you. Scoffing you glared at him pinching the bridge of your nose. You clenched your teeth together before you looked up at him who was looking expectantly at you. “Well?”

“Well I was trying to let you speak. No I do not interrupt my patients usually but also my patients don’t try to test my patience.” You growled your voice rising a bit.

“Are you getting an attitude with me?” He asked his voice changing tone lightly and you shook your head.

“I’m not. Let’s start again. I am thankfully that you have come in today to see me. I just want to help you, because I’m the doctor! And whatever you need I will give it to you.” You smiled hesitantly squirming in your seat as he watched you.

“Very well then.” He rumbled out flicking his tongue across his bottom lip. “Doctor. Y/N. Lately I have been feeling a bit tired, my energy is not all the way there. Also, it seems I’m having problems having problems with my releasing process. I’m not cumming right.” He frowned patting his member.

“What do you mean not cumming right?” You asked jotting down some notes in your notepad eyeing him.

“Well, I will have an orgasm. But it’s not a lot. Maybe one or two little drops. And sometimes it’s hard for me to even get turned on or feel the need to fuck my girl. Do you think it’s me?” He asked licking on his bottom lip as he watched you.

“Well, I don’t know. Tell me how do you feel about this girl you’re seeing. You guys are engaged, right?” You asked tapping your pen on the notepad. Namjoon nodded perking up as he stared at you.

“She’s amazing! She’s the most beautiful brown kitten I’ve ever seen in my life. You know how they say that some girls are a tall glass of milk? That’s how I feel about her, except she’s chocolate milk so she’s much sweeter and it’s much better to lick on her nectar. She is so caring, charming and all around just a great blessing for me to have. I can’t keep my eyes off of her when I’m with her, and trust me whenever I see her do little things like show me skin. Whenever I go to her job and see her work I just want to pin her down on the desk and fuck her until she has bruises implanted on her hips and thighs from my fingers digging into her plumpness. And don’t even get me started about those curves that she has. Her full breast, oh and her sweet ass slapping it is the best. I mean she makes me weak doctor. Makes the monster come out of me.” He grinned playfully. Chewing on your lips, you nodded your head feeling the heat starting to rise in your face as you jotted down more notes.

“So, then maybe it is you Namjoon. Let’s give you a regular checkup and see what we can do about your hormones. If anything, one pill of Viagra will do.” You almost choked on your laughter at the glare he gave to you but your hands quickly dashed to grab your stethoscope from the drawer. Hearing something fall, you moved to look back seeing Namjoon stretching again, this time a vanilla file was thrown to the ground, some paper scattered in a pile at your feet. “Ok God of destruction.” You griped out leaning down to pick up the files. Your breast pressed together the peak of them being shown because your buttons were not buttoned that far up. Once you had everything up, you smiled at him standing up. Moving to place the stethoscope against his chest you asked him to take deep breaths. You could feel his heart beating fast, smirking you decided to fuck with him a little more. Pushing the stethoscope against his back your breast pressed against his right arm, your plump mounds resting against his toned muscled arms. He took deep breath, his face turning so that he could breathe against your breast.

“Doctor. You have smooth skin.” Namjoon purred sliding a hand up on your outer right thigh. His finger moving up dangerously close to your heat, fingers ghosting under the confines of your coat.

“I-I do indeed. Please keep your hands to yourself.” You softly whined, trying to move his hand but he was slicker. Moving his other hand upwards on the left side he managed to surprise you and reach his hand around grabbing at your ass cheek.

“Wow doctor. Your ass feels. So, fucking soft.” Namjoon squeezed at your ass cheek with his hand as your hand tried to pry his other hand away from sliding up farther.

“Well it’s not supposed to be hard, now is it?” You asked him. Namjoon chuckled pulling his hand back only to slam it down against your ass cheek causing it to jiggle as he rubbed the flesh. It surprised you and sent a jolt of pleasure dancing up your spine. Your hand stilled for a moment too long and Namjoon had you, his hands grabbing on both cheeks kneading them. His eyes looking up at you as he bit the top button close to your cleavage. A soft gasp left your lips, your hands moved to press against his shoulders. You tried to push him away with some effort but Namjoon only opened his legs wide so that he could pull you close against his body. His hand reached up from your ass cheek to grab at your panties pulling them upwards causing them to dip between your ass cheeks and press tighter against your pussy.

“You cannot t-treat a doctor like this.” You tried not to moan, your eyes were becoming hooded and your mind was becoming jumbled.

“I can when the doctor said she was going to do whatever it took to make me feel better.” He countered looking up at you as he flicked his tongue to lick up the crevices of your breast

“Yes! But doctor still needs to finish your checkup. You were concerned about your energy and parts below right? If you let me go I can help.” Your voice was failing you becoming more of a question and uncertainty when you spoke. Namjoon chucked nipping a part of your skin slapping your ass again. His middle finger sliding down your panties slowly until he was teasing your opening. Sliding his long finger inside. Without thinking you slapped his hand away from you your eyes going wide as you realized what you had just done. Namjoon froze in place, and you felt your doom coming.

“Oh no.” You mumbled softly and with a growl he was charging at you. Picking you up by your legs Namjoon threw you on the bed, he turned you around in his hold, your mind that was frozen for a split second tried to move from him crawl or do anything that would set you free. Namjoon saw your attempts but he wasn’t having any more of you denying him when he knew what you were doing before he even came inside.

Looking around your place, he grabbed at your ankle pulling you down so that he could walk towards the drawer. He kept you with a tight hold around your ankle. You whimpered slightly clawing at the sheets. You brought your leg up bending your ankle and then pushing it down making Namjoon fumble. Crawling off the bed in a quick motion you dashed towards the door with wobbly legs.

“Where the fuck are you going kitten?” Namjoon asked grabbing at a tape measure that was used for measuring your body. He ran after you catching you before you got out of the door. Shutting the door, he slammed you against it, his hands working to tie the tape measure. Once your hands were secure he picked you up over his shoulder walking backwards to the bed, he threw you on it with your face against the sheets. Letting your legs hang over the edge of it he got behind you grabbing at your hips bringing you back to rub against his growing erection.

“Mm someone is such a fucking naughty little doctor. Treating your patients like that.” He jutted out his lower lip as he ground himself against you, his dick starting to harden in his panties. “But now I get to have all the fun in the world. Because doctors cure you, don’t they?” He asked you spreading your legs wide with his. Once you didn’t answer he slammed his hand down to land against your ass raising his voice. “DON’T THEY?”

“YES!” You shouted out throwing your head back. Your legs bucked and you could feel your pussy starting to become wet from just his rough voice alone, but the grinding didn’t help anything it just made it worse.

“That’s right.. And with your sweet little pussy doctor. Daddy is going to make sure he feels cured by the time he is done with you. And look at that, my monster is ready to devour your sweet tight pussy. Or maybe I should fuck your ass and just leave you to bury your fingers back in your pussy like you were doing earlier.” He taunted. You were beyond embarrassed that he caught you, but instead of staying quiet you shook your head looking at him over your shoulder.

“Keep dreaming. You’re a patient who needed the doctors help. I bet you can’t even make me cum.” You smirked wiggling your ass against his bulge. Namjoon gripped at your hips, stopping all movements he slowly pushed up your lab coat to bunch around your waist, he leaned forward dark eyes baring into your own unsure ones.

“I bet I do make you cum.” He spoke in a low tone, pressing his forehead against yours. “I bet I make you cum a lot actually. You’re going to cum so much you’ll be crying for me to stop and I won’t. I’ll only keep pushing you to your limit doctor.”

All hope that you had of getting free or redemption went out the window with that phrase. Namjoon chuckled sadistically pulling away from you he walked from the bed. “Don’t move doctor. We wouldn’t need to prescribe you pain killers, now would we?” The threat that he made to you cause you to bury your face into the sheets staying perfectly still or as still as you could. But after sometime of him not coming back, you peeked up through your hair. Namjoon was treading back towards you with a multitude of things in his hand. Your stomach clenched at the mere thought of what he was going to do to you. He bit his bottom lip placing the toys down beside you coming to stand back behind you.

“I didn’t know doctors kept such things at work. But then again, you’re such a little slut are you Y/N? My little slut.” Namjoon grabbed at a brown paddle that had the words ‘obey’ carved into the front of it. He rubbed it across your chocolate cheeks softly dancing his fingers across your skin. “Peaches and cream, sweeter than sweet, chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings.” Namjoon sung the part out before slamming the paddle down against both of your ass cheeks. Pain shot through your back causing you to yelp out loud, your hands fisting up as you rested against the bed. “Oh look at how red you are.” He commented running his finger softly across your heated skin. Smirking he pulled the paddle back to smack against your ass again the pain making your eyes brim slightly with tears. Your legs shook, the heels becoming wobbly against the floor. Namjoon frowned playfully squatting down he flicked his tongue repeatedly against your heated flesh. “Does it hurt doctor?” He teased biting gently on the space under your ass cheeks. Dropping the paddle, he licked up and down your panties, his index finger finding your clit. He rubbed his finger against the spot watching as your whole body shook with desire. He hummed kissing at your ass cheeks. He pulled his finger back standing up he grabbed at the paddle, moving it to hit just across your ass cheeks. Giving you a round of five smacks that sounded off in the quiet room but your whimpers broke free. “Come on doctor we wouldn’t want your other patients outside to hear you nor the receptionist.”

He moved to your left ass cheek repeating the same process, dropping the paddle on the bed he gripped at your panties that were soaking wet, pulling them down he pressed a long kiss against your pussy. Sliding you out of them and your heels. He placed your feet back on the floor before tapping your ass. “Up on your tiptoes and hold it.” He quietly ordered and you obeyed. Pushing yourself up, your ass was stinging the tears that started to escape your eyes were finding little puddles along the bed sheets but you loved it, the pain was simply amazing though in the time it hurt. You loved it when he was rough with you reminding who was in charge here despite titles. Namjoon used his index fingers to open your wet pussy lips looking at the wetness before him. He puckered his lips blowing air against your slit causing you to whine for him. Your hands tugging to break free but it was no use you were stuck there. Namjoon leaned forward pressing his tongue flat against your slit he licked upwards until he was licking against your asshole and he pulled back to start the process again. Long slow kitten like licks against your slit that would frustrate you to no end because he wasn’t doing anything more. Finally, he pressed his tongue against your clit flicking it rapidly. Enclosing his mouth around the bud he gave a few sucks to your clit, tongue dancing against it while you became a wrecked mess above him. Once he was satisfied he pulled his mouth back pressing two fingers against your entrance. Sliding his fingers inside of you slowly he groaned at your tightness around his fingers the warm walls taking him in fully. He used his free hand to palm himself through his pants letting his fingers stay in place he kept them there until you were clenching them around his digits taking that as a sign to continue. He pulled his fingers out together only to thrust them back into you at a slow pace. Over and over he kept them straight not giving you the satisfaction of having him curl them for you and find your spot.

“Fuck yourself on my fingers.” He told you, not replying to him, Namjoon nodded his head growling. He stood up pulling at your hair roughly his elbow of the same hand pressing against your middle back as he bit harshly on your ear. “Either you fuck yourself on my fingers. I’m talking about bouncing this tight pussy and fucking yourself for me or I will leave you here and I won’t fucking untie you. Take your pick now then, either you’re going to behave as my little slut and get fucked nice and deep or you going to stay here while I go find another doctor that will.” Of course, that was like a slap in your face. Glaring at him you nodded your head you started to push your hips down trying to ride his fingers. Namjoon released his grip a little so that you could move your body more. Eyes drifting shut he tugged harder on your hair. “Keep those pretty brown eyes open baby girl. I’m not through looking in them.” Moaning softly, you kept your eyes on him pushing back on his fingers. Your body moving up and down the bed, nipples rubbing against the lab coat that you had on. “Faster.” Namjoon commanded and you did so pushing your hips down on his fingers as more moans slipped past your lips from how it felt to have him fingering you. “Fuck, look at those nice plump ass cheeks bouncing for me. I can hear how wet your greedy pussy is taking me in. Just imagine the sound it’s going to make when my dick is shoved inside of you.” Your pussy gushed with more juices causing Namjoon to laugh as he leaned down and bit into the left side of your hip. “You feel so good, and you’re getting wet. The little kitten likes my dirty talking.” He smirked pulling his fingers back from you slowly. He brought them to his mouth while looking at you, sucking your essence of his fingers with dramatic licks and slurping noises. He reached down to grab at a rotating dildo aligning it with your entrance. He pushed the toy inside of you turning switch onto the lowest setting. The toy started to move inside of you thrusting in and out of your walls. Head rolling forward in his hold you let his name fall of your lips. Namjoon pulled back to let your head fall forward, moving to grab at the spreader bar he locked your feet in place so that even if you tried to close your legs it would be difficult for you.

He grabbed at his paddle, starting to hit your ass once again he relished in how good it sounded for you to cry out for him. He put the paddle down as he helped the toy thrust in and out of you, turning the setting up he moved to grab at a purple bullet pressing it against your asshole. He watched it pucker up as he played with it, leaning forward he licked around your hole slowly moaning against it he pushed his tongue inside of your asshole.

“Namjoon- I’m.” Your words were short, hips thrusting back against the toy to fill more of the force of it thrusting inside of you, your words were failing you. Your eyes drifted shut and felt your stomach tighten up wanting to feel your release you kept jerking your hips downwards fucking the toy. Namjoon just hummed against you, switching the angle of the toy to press it against your spot. In a few minutes, you were cumming on the toy your hips jerking from the pleasure. Namjoon kept thrusting the toy inside of you not letting it against your spot repeatedly. He moved the bullet to press it against your clit earning a loud shout of protest from you. “Please Namjoon.” You begged gently but he wasn’t hearing it, both hands moving the toys against your clit and soaked pussy you were feeling overstimulated. Namjoon didn’t care though, it was your punishment and you were going to have to take it. Moving back from your ass he licked it again, smirking as another wave hit your body, how you crumpled and deflated against the bed he let you ride out your orgasm again and moved it from your clit sucking your essence off it. He put it down on the bed moving to grab at a row of anal beads circling them around your entrance. He slowly pushed the beads inside of you one by one each one getting bigger until he had all of them buried inside of you. He moved back watching the masterpiece in front of him. He pulled the dildo from your clit licking and sucking it clean throwing it beside you he bent down to grab at your hips turning you over to lay on your back smiling down at you. He lifted your legs upwards and placed your feet on the bed. His hands spread your legs wide pressing them down against the mattress, grabbing at a smaller vibrator he taped it against your clit turning it on max settings from the get go. Moving back, he slowly stripped himself of his shirt and his pants keeping on his boxers. He gripped at your lab coat unbuttoning it until it was open moving you to push it off of your body his hands gripped at your breast. Playing with them he jiggled them and slapped them a couple of times. Moving back, he gripped at a riding crop striking it against your stomach. He watched as the skin turned red, moving to slap it against your pussy it hit the end of the beads causing you to feel them push deeper. Back arching off of the bed you bucked your hips upwards. Namjoon grinned pressing the riding crop against your nipples he started to hit against each one of them seeing how your nipples puckered up and became hard for him. He licked his lips leaning down to enclose his lips around your pert nipples sucking on them. Letting his tongue paint your skin with his spit. A wicked flash across his features as your body tensed up and your third orgasm sucked through your body. He licked a trail over to your other breast circling his tongue around your nipples slowly biting into the flesh. Once he pulled back he put the riding crop down getting in between your legs he licked up to the toy and back down shoving his tongue inside of your wet pussy. He slurped at you shaking his head side to side curving and thrusting his tongue to taste all of you.

It was starting to hurt, the overstimulation and cumming. Your eyes were brimming with tears once again as mixed feelings swam through your body. He held your hips down not letting you move while he ate you out. Body twisting and shaking your orgasm was taking longer to build up due to the fact that you had cum already three times and he was trying to make it a forth. He curved his tongue to roll against your spot picking up the speed of his tongue to make it vibrate against your spot. He let his tongue stay in that place watching as you shifted your hips and arched harder of the bed head rolling back and cries of pleasure escaping your lips. Your voice broke, heart beating erratically as another wave of pleasure slammed into your body.

“PLEASE NAMJOON! I’M SORRY!” You knew what it was about. Telling him no. And you regretted it. Namjoon pulled back from you after he sucked up your cum and kissed at your parted thighs.

“Sorry can’t fix everything.” He reminded you as he freed his dick from the confines of his boxers. Crawling on the bed he moved until he was straddling your chest, not sitting on you he let his knees dig into the mattress. One hand gripping at your hair and the other on the bed he tilted his head. “No will I have to make you use your pretty little mouth?” He asked letting his dick tap against your bottom lip the tip smearing precum against them. Shaking your head, you opened your mouth slowly for him letting your tongue roll against the head of his heated shaft. Moaning lowly, he lurched his hips forward burying his dick inside of your mouth. He thrust his hips forward, letting his balls smack your chin every time he entered into your mouth. His head rolling back, he moaned lowly enjoying the feel of your wet tongue sliding up and down against his hardened flesh. He moved to let his hand pinch at your nose instead cutting your air off he slammed his dick faster going as deep into your throat as he could. He watched you not letting you or letting you breathe. When your eyes started to get low he slid his dick into your mouth holding it at the back of your throat feeling you squeeze around him. Enjoying the sensation, he repeated it three slow times, you could feel your oxygen leave your body and the light-headed feeling was creeping up your bones until your vision was blacking out.

Namjoon released you, your ears popping as he pulled back to let you breathe before you passed out. You coughed and joked, not seeing much but tiny little bursts of color. Namjoon growled at the sight before him, his hand fisting his dick he stroked his large member until he was releasing his cum over your face. Against your lips and over your forehead and cheeks trying to avoid getting it into your eyes. His thick ropes painted your face white with his cum. Namjoon picked you up, moving to lay on the bed he spread his legs wide pressing you down against him. You were coming around once again looking around you growled slightly.

“You expect me to ride your dick with cum on my face?” You asked and nodded his head picking you up by your hips. His still erected dick was pressing at your entrance.

“I could always go back to the toys.” He mused out. Without hesitation, you were pushing your hips down burying him deep inside of you. Head rolling forward you slammed yourself down onto him. Not taking the pace slow because who were you kidding you liked to have him buried deep inside of you. Hips snapping down against his as he thrust up into you, your walls tightened around his shaft feeling the sting of him stretching out your pussy. Your groans and pants could be heard out of the room, the air turning thicker the heat radiating off of both of your bodies together. Namjoon felt his balls tightening up because he needed release, looking down at your plump cheeks that jiggled every time his hips met your ass he was a wreck full of lust and need the words from the paddle showing up faintly on your skin that was still bright and agitated. Namjoon gripped at your hips slamming you down more than letting you take the pace at your own speed. Your bound hands behind your back rested against his lower stomach as you wound your hips down against him. He shifted his hips ever so slightly pulling all the way out only to slam you down on his shaft. You were crying out his name, your voice breaking and becoming softer from how hoarse you were. Namjoon breathlessly chuckled, watching as you lost yourself for him his hand moving to slowly pull the beads from you one by one until none were left. You didn’t even need to touch yourself he was ruining you just fine by fucking you. Your breast bounced harshly from the impact of his hips against your ass the soreness of the paddle coming back.

“Daddy may I cum please?” You asked softly and Namjoon hummed in approval not speaking because he himself was on the verge of releasing.

Once he gave you the permission you nodded your head letting your orgasm consume you. Not even having the strength to yell you released a quiet whimper as your stomach clenched, your pussy throbbing as you released once more for him.

“Y/N.. Shit.” Namjoon groaned as he held you down cumming inside of your sore pussy. He rolled his hips gently, the cum sliding down from your entrance. Namjoon pulled you back to him, his arm wrapping around your waist as he kissed up your skin tiredly. The moment was quiet, both of your heart rates going back down to normal. Smiling at yourself you were proud that everything turned out well until the door pushed open.

“Well well. It seems neither of you could have waited for me.” Hoseok accused crossing his hands over his chest as he watched you both.

“It was Namjoon’s fault.” You immediately blurted feeling your insides drop.

“Oh really?” Namjoon questioned pushing his dick deep inside of you causing you to moan out and nod your head. “You little slut.” Namjoon growled pulling out of you. You wiggled trying to get free, and Namjoon got off the bed going to wipe himself clean. Once he was done he stood by Hoseok who looked down at you a disapproving frown etched on his features.

“We will think about your punishment.”

“What do you mean we! He fucked me!” You cried out in protest.

“You touched yourself first. That’s your punishment. Not that he fucked you, we both expected that. But you know the rules about self-pleasure around here.” Hoseok turned to walk away with Namjoon winking at you following him.

“At least untie me! Please daddy.” You pouted jutting out your lower lip. Namjoon looked up at Hoseok and he looked at you.

“No. You have been a bad girl, you need to stay there and think about what you’ve done princess.” And like that you were left alone in the middle of the bed, your fate lying in the hands of two very dominate men.

anonymous asked:

I hope you're taking linstead prompts: Jay finds out Erin is pregnant before she does :-/ I'd love to see how you do this 💜

Well anon I’m currently sick in bed with the flu so I hope this meets your expectations. Thanks for the ask 😘

LITTLE BEAN

Erin entered the darkened room tentatively, carefully balancing her weight between her feet so as to be prepared if someone came charging at her, gun draw in her right hand, held out in front of her, flashlight held above it with her left hand, breath slow and steady. She could hear Jay moving further down the hall behind her. They’d come upstairs to clear the bedrooms while Kevin and Adam cleared the main floor. So far the house appeared empty.

Erin stepped fully into the bedroom so she could check the far side of the bed and the closet. Silently she stepped closer to the bed. The sudden slam of the door behind her made her turn quickly on her heals. Her flashlight caught the features of a tall, broad shouldered man lunging towards her. Erin fired a shot at him but her reaction time was too slow and the shot went wide as her assailant took her too the ground, his shoulder pounding into her ribs as they hit the floor. Her head hit the floor hard making light burst behind her closed eyelids. Her gun slipped from her hand and slide across the floor.

Sharp pain from the impact made her inhale quickly. Through the haze of pain she could here her team shouting in the background and quickened footsteps moving in her direction. She pushed the pain down and struggled to free herself from under her attacker. A quick upswing of her knee made contact with his groin and she was able to shimmy out from under him as he hunched in pain.

Erin scrambled towards her gun but felt herself pulled back abruptly by her hair. The assailant began pounding his fist into her abdomen. Erin grabbed at the hand fisted in her hair and yanked her body down, twisting towards him quickly, forcing his wrist to crack with pain. He yelled out and released her hair. Erin delivered a solid kick to his groin and when he bent forward cracked his jaw with her knee.

The door behind her burst open, splinters of wood flying as Kevin broke his way in. Someone flipped on the light and her assailant was quickly tackled and secured by her three partners. Erin grabbed at the bedpost to steady herself and clutched her side, trying to steady her breathing. The warmth of a familiar hand landed gently on her back.

“You good,” Jay asked, trying to keep the panic from his voice. She’d kill him if he fussed over her too much while on the job. Erin nodded stiffly.

“Yeah, he got a couple good shots in, just need a minute.” She breathed out, watching Adam and Kevin escort her attacker not so gently out of the room.

“He’s a pretty big guy,” Jay observed, impressed by the obvious damage Erin had inflicted on her attacker.

Jay handed Erin her fire arm to holster. Erin nodded her thanks as she awkwardly put her gun away. Jay noticed the slight shake in her hand, shallow breathing and pale skin.

“Maybe we should take a swing by med on the way back to the district, just to make sure nothing’s broken?” Jay hedged.

Erin shook her head no, dismissing his concern. “I’m good. Just need to catch my breath. Think he knocked the wind out of me. We should go, I want first crack at interrogating that asshole.” She said, shuffling her way to the door.

Jay blew out a breath but didn’t fight her. He made a note to keep a close eye on her the rest of the day and followed her down and out of the house. As they approached the car Erin passed him the keys and made her way to the passenger side.

“You sure you don’t want to go to med?” He tried one last time, looking at her over the car. Erin just glared at him before sinking down into the car.

Erin sat with her head resting against the cool glass of the window while Jay drove. The pressure on her lungs had let up a bit but her stomach still felt the impact of the repeated blundering it endured. Her head was throbbing too. She closed her eyes and tried focusing on something pleasant to distract from the pain.

About half way to the district Jay turned to ask Erin if she wanted to stop and grab a coffee. There was no response. He reached his hand across the seat and shook her leg gently.

“Erin,” he called out but still got no response.

His heart beat quickened as he felt for a pulse and checked to see if she was breathing, only slightly relieved when he found positive signs of both. Jay flipped on the lights and stomped on the gas, quickly making a u turn and heading for med. He radioed ahead to let them know he was coming in with her. Jay gently shook and called Erin’s name repeatedly as he drove but she didn’t come to.

Jay screeched to a halt in front of the emergency entrance of the hospital. Will met him at the door with a gurney and several nurses. They quickly lifted Erin out of the car and began assessing her while wheeling her into an exam room.

After filling them in on what had happened Jay paced the hall. After what felt like an eternity Will finally came out to update him.

“How is she?” Jay asked nervously.

“Still unconscious. She took a pretty nasty blow to the head and there’s some swelling. Once it goes down she should wake up. She’s got a couple cracked ribs and some pretty nasty abdominal bruising but it doesn’t look like there’s any internal bleeding. We’re just waiting for her blood work to come back but we’ll be admitting her, at least overnight, to monitor that head wound.” Will informed Jay.

“So, she’ll be okay?“Jay asked carefully.

"Yeah, I think so. You can go sit with her if you like,” he added, placing his hand on his little brother’s shoulder.

Jay nodded his thanks and headed to Erin’s room. He’d sat for a long time, his hand in hers, stroking her knuckles and watching the slow rise and fall of her chest, willing her to wake up and give him shit for bringing her here, when Will slid the glass door to her room open.

“Hey,” Will greeted Jay quietly. “Can we talk for a sec?”

Jay gave Will a puzzled look but rose to his feet and followed Will out of the room and down the hall to the doctors lounge. Once inside Will checked to see they were alone then closed the door.

“Have a seat,” Will said, motioning to the chair.

A chill ran down Jay’s spine and his chest tightened. This couldn’t be good. “I’ll stand thanks,” Jay always felt more in control on his feet and if Will was going to deliver some bad news Jay needed to be ready for the blow.

Will shook his head at his brother’s stubbornness and blew out a breath. He wasn’t quite sure how to share what he’s just learned or how Jay was going to react to his news.

After a few moments of staring at each other Will looked away, squared his shoulders and looked back at Jay and begain. “Erin’s blood work came back.” He said flatly. “It’s standard protocol to test patients blood for a variety of things,”

“Will I’m not an idiot, I know this. Just spit out whatever it is you need to say,"Jay interrupted impatiently.

Will nodded, "Erin’s pregnant. Blood test indicated about five weeks along.”

Jay stood silent, his brain had been bracing for the word cancer, or permanent brain damage or some other horrid words he wanted to rip from the English language and protect Erin from. They’d fought long and hard for what they had, no way could he accept the possibility of something cutting their always short.

“Jay?” Will questioned, breaking Jay from his trance. “Did you hear what I said?”

Jay’s eyes focused back on Will as he let the announcement seep in. Pregnant. Erin was pregnant. Not condemned to a state of permanent unconsciousness, not dying. Pregnant. She was pregnant. Jay’s eyes went wide.

“A baby,” he whispered, wonder in his voice.

“Yeah, that’s what the word pregnant means,” Will teases, watching his brother’s reaction closely. He didn’t know if he was going to be buying cigars to celebrate with or helping Jay drown the reality that he was stuck raising an ankle biter with Molly’s most expensive bottle of scotch.

“A baby,” Jay said again, testing the word on his lips.

“I assume you guys weren’t planning on this?” Will asked.

“I, umm, we weren’t not not planning,” Jay stammered.

Will looked at Jay confused.

“We talked about it, she went off her birth control last month. Her doctor said we should give it a few months before we started trying. We figured it would take awhile,” Jay explained. He sat heavily on a chair and blew out a ragged breath, expelling all the panic he’d been holding in when he was expecting bad news.

“So… this is a good thing then?” Will tried.

A slow smile spread across Jay’s face and into his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, it it.”

Will smiled back at him but just as quickly as it had spread, the smile on Jay’s face vanished. “Wait, is it okay?” Jay questioned, jumping to his feet. “She took a pretty hard beating today. Is the baby gonna be okay?”

Will stepped forward and grabbed his little brother by the shoulder, trying to contain Jay’s panic before it got to far out of hand.

“The baby should be fine. I’ll do an ultrasound, we’ll have a quick peak. Fortunately being so early the baby’s pretty insulated in there and we didn’t see any internal damage when we checked her abdomen before. That’s a good sign.” Will assured him.

Jay nodded but didn’t seem convinced. “We should get back,” he said abruptly, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to be close to Erin and their baby.

“"Let’s go,” Will said, opening the door for him.

Jay took the seat next to Erin and scooped her hand between his. It seemed so small in his now. He glanced over at her midsection, covered by the hospital blankets. Somewhere beneath them, hidden deep within her still flat belly, there was a tiny little life growing. A life he’d helped create.

He looked up at Erin’s face. She looked peaceful sleeping there. Some of the colour had returned to her face. He thought about how he was going to tell her about the baby. She may need a minute to adjust to the news. She was still skeptical she’d be a good mom and she’d created some kind of check list of things she wanted to do before they started trying. Jay felt a bit bad that list would be put to the side now, but he’d do what he could to make it up to her.

Will set up the ultrasound machine while Jay was lost in his thoughts. “Ready?” Will asked pulling back the blankets covering Erin’s stomach.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jay shrugged nervously. God he hoped the baby was okay.

Will gave him a reassuring smile, lifted Erin’s shirt and squeezed ultrasound gel onto her abdomen. Jay saw red as he took in the bruising across her stomach and ribs. He started imagining the payback he’d give the asshole who’d put those marks there.
Between that and a few moments of watching Will moving the wand around and staring at the screen with a furrowed brow Jay felt like he was going to explode.

“Well?” He barked at his brother, desperate to know what was happening.

“Patience there papa bear,” Will teased. “Ah, here we go.” Will turned the screen towards Jay. “Like I sad it’s early so there’s not much to see but see this little bean here,” Will said pointing to a blotch on the screen, “that’s my new niece or nephew,” he stated, smiling proudly.

Jay stared at the monitor intently then down at the wand on Erin’s lower abdomen and back up at the screen. He tried to wrap his head around what he was seeing. He looked up at his brother.

“Everything seems fine,” Will confirmed.

Jay smiled softly. Everything was fine. Their baby was fine. Baby. The full impact of the word hit him. Jay was going to be a father. In eight short months there’d be a mini Erin wrapped up in his arms. It was an overwhelming idea but one that made him excited too.

Will cleaned the gel off Erin and covered her back up.

Jay squeezed Erin’s hand and pressed his lips against her knuckles. He wasn’t expecting her fingers to tighten around his. He looked up to see her eyes flutter open then squint as they confronted the light in the room. When she finally focused on him he gave her a heart stopping smile, excited to share their news with her.

Except the words wouldn’t come out. She’d been disoriented and in pain and it didn’t seem to be the right time. Then they’d moved her up to a room and she’d drifted off to sleep. Now at two am she’d woken him from his uncomfortable spot in the chair by her bed to get his help going to the bathroom.

As he helped her settle back into bed he decided he’d better tell her before one of the nurses let it slip out.

“How you feeling?” He asked by way of conversation starter.

“Not too bad, they better let me go home in the morning,” she grumbled.

Jay smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “About that, there’s something they didn’t tell you.”

Erin stared at him, “What?” She demanded. “Why not?”

“I asked Will to let me tell you,” Jay confessed. “I wanted to earlier but you didn’t really seem…” his voice drifted off.

“Jay,” Erin said, lacing her fingers through his nervously, “Whatever it is, please just tell me.”

Jay looked up to see fear and uneasiness in Erin’s eyes. Instinctively his hand cupped her cheek. “No sweetheart, it’s nothing like that,” he soothed. “I, umm, well when they did your blood work” he stumbled, resorting to how Will told him.

Erin’s hand came to rest over top of Jay’s on her cheek. “Baby please just spit it out,” she pleaded.

“We’re, you’re pregnant,” he said on an exhale.

He waited for her to process his words and watched her face intently. Her eyes went wide and intuitively her hands flew to her tummy.

“He punched me..” she began, panicked.

“It’s okay, the baby’s okay. Will had a look while you were out. Everything’s fine,” he said calmly.

“It is?” She asked disbelievingly.

“Yeah, he showed me,” Jay said confidently.

“You, you saw our baby? Without me?” She tried to school her features but Jay could see the disappointment in her eyes.

Jay suddenly felt guilty, she was right the first glimpse of their baby should have been something they’d shared together.

“I’m sorry, but we were worried, with your injuries…” he apologized.

Erin raised her hand and stroked his cheek. “It’s okay.” She soothed. “I would have done the same.” She smiled softly at him. “Wow,” she breathed out a moment later. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah, it was a bit of a surprise for me too,” he admitted. Jay couldn’t read the expression on Erin’s face. “Are…. are you okay with this. I mean we talked about it but I know you had a plan….”

Erin ran her hand back and forth across her stomach. “You think I’ll be an okay mom, right? You don’t think I’ll mess it up to badly, do you?” Her voice full of doubt.

Jay placed his hand over the one Erin had on her belly and waited until she looked him in the eyes. “Erin you’re gonna be an amazing mom, no one has a bigger heart than you.”

She nodded but he could tell she still didn’t fully believe him. “Well at least we know he’s gonna have the best dad,” she said leaning forward to kiss him softly.

“She,” he corrected her.

“What? There’s no way to know that yet,” she scoffed. Jay just shrugged at her. He was already convinced it was a girl.

Slowly a smile stretched across her face. “Hey,” she said shyly, squeezing his hand.

“Yeah?” He asked, God she was beautiful when she smiled like that.

Erin’s eyes filled with tears as her smile grew wider. “I have your baby growing inside me,” she said, voice full of wonder.

“So I’ve heard,” he laughed happily, they stared at each other, excitement in their eyes before Jay shifted closer and pulled Erin into his arms. She lay her head on his shoulder, turning her head to bury it in his neck.

“A baby,” she whispered again in awe.

“Umm,” he murmured into her hair. “Our baby.” He corrected her.

Erin’s arms squeezed him tighter. “Our baby,” she repeated.

Jay was sure he’d never heard sweeter words spoken.

Sittin’ here thinkin’ about Clovis Bray and how everything people say about him in Grimoire hints that he was a really great person but, also that he was really emotionally distant from his kids and expected a lot of them and how I feel like he’d be the kind of scientist to do “whatever it takes” to see his scientific visions through-

And then I realize how accurate that probably is, considering the Owl Sector files about their Test Patients for the SIVA strain swarms and then about how Cayde was once a human before Clovis offered him “a way out” of his debt, and now I’m just like “Jfc Clovis wasn’t just a mad scientist, he was a goddamn villain.”

Goodbye

Prompt: You let Chanyeol cheat because you’re dying of an illness

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2050


To Chanyeol, whom I love.



It’s a funny thing, or at least I find it funny, ironic even to begin an introduction with analyzing farewells. Please do not take this in an ominous way, I do not mean for that sort of tone. Just lighthearted pensivity that comes with being stuck in the same room everyday. A way to let go of my thoughts.

There are so, so many ways to say goodbye, have you thought about it? A simple, curt “bye.” If you repeat it, “bye-bye,” it’s childlike, cuter, friendly. Some dialects transform it to “buh-bye.”

Have a nice day, afternoon, evening: Friendly. Well wishing. Used in a slightly more formal context.

See you later: Casual, hopeful, cheery.

Farewell: Final, formal, tinged with emotion. Slightly outdated. Originating from “fare thee well,” meaning travel happily, safely.

Take care: A more modern version of “farewell.” Take care of yourself, while I’m gone. Take care of yourself while we are parted.


And finally, the root concept:


Goodbye.



A parting with good feelings.

Often a formal way to verbally initiate a separation, and ironically, although the word itself uses “good,” it is often found in situations blanketed by negativity. Frustration with family members when you slam your room door as a child, or when you angrily press the red button to hang up.  Breaking up. Believing you will never see someone again.

Knowing you won’t see them again.


Forgive me, Chanyeol. I didn’t want this to turn dark again. I meant to write this with the happiness of your smile, like the sun. The glow of your cheeks, like the full moon on a cloudless night. The twinkle in your eye like that of stars.





For the past seemingly endless months, I’ve been in countless rooms, all the same.

White. A color to symbolize purity. Cleanliness.

You get sick of it very quickly.

The walls are white, the curtains are white, the pillows, the blankets, the clothes are white. It’s to bring the facade of perfection though I am imperfect. I am not pure. I am not clean. I am riddled with spreading disease.

I digress.


The paradox that many things change yet remain the same, and many things remain the same yet are changed. Different rooms, all the same. There’s always a doctor, though each room holds a different one.

Different rooms, different doctors, different facilities, different treatments, different results, different pains stretching over my body, fluctuating in intensity. All the same questions, the same procedures, the same pinch of the needle, the same emptiness inside, the same boredom, the same color, the same pain plaguing my mind. The same Chanyeol always by my side, holding my hands, kissing my cheeks, hugging me close, wary of the various tubes and machines.

The same Chanyeol.

Yet different.




I remember the first time walking into a hospital like this, as a patient. Tests and doctors and drawing blood and taking samples and scans and everything all at once. Professionally in order for them. Confusing and chaotic for us. You held my hand tightly.


I remember before the first surgery to get the growth, the t-word, to get it out. I was so scared. I was terrified for weeks. I cried so much. I was worried but I was hopeful. It was still shocking to think of myself having the c-word. I never imagined this. You kissed my cheeks, carrying my tears away.


I remember the day the doctor entered the room, coat as white, as clean, as pure as ever. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Both of you have been fighting so hard.” He looked at you, eyes forlorn. “You may want to sit down.”

They had spread to my lungs. They were eating, feasting away at my breath. I was in too much pain to cry. I was too numb from so much pain. All I could do was lay there, staring, listening to you cry out the pain for me. For us. You held me in your arms. You were broken, wary of the various tubes and machines that had become part of me.

The next morning, early afternoon, when we woke up, I said I still had time. Limited, but everyone has limited time. No one lives forever. Just some longer than others. I still had over a year left. A year and a half. I would lose my hair, and I would receive more scars, but I still had a year and a half with friends and family. A year and a half with you.


And now we are trapped in what seems like an endless cycle. A repeat of yesterday happened the day before and the day before that and before that and before that…Seemingly endless. But we both know how it ends. We both know when it will end.

We both know my days are numbered. I don’t know the number. Neither do you, nor the doctors and their white coats.

It is a number known only by God.




I believe I’ve given up on attempting to ward off tragedy. But I knew since the beginning of this letter that I would eventually succumb to it. After all, I am the one writing this.




You are still the same, but different. Still sleeping next to me, holding my hand. Still bringing me flowers and gifts and movies and affection and love. Thank you for staying the same.

The passcode to your phone has always been the same. It touches my heart that you trust me that much.

I’ve betrayed you.


You were sleeping, eyes puffy from crying with me. You always cried with me. I don’t know how many times you’ve cried alone, but you’ve always been there with me to kiss away my tears. How long have you stayed in this same white room with me? I apologize for taking away from your life. We’re both young, and you’ve spent so much time with me in the same white rooms that were always changing. But for the past year and a half, we’ve been living in one room, now. How nice.


I digress again.

Forgive me, my mind tends to wander along these walls I’ve memorized months and months and months ago.



You were sleeping beside me.

I was reading.

Your phone lit up.

There was a number unknown to me, and I was curious.

I’ve betrayed your trust. Please forgive me.

But as I betrayed your trust, it was also fed to me.




I was angry…no, that’s a childish word. Furious. Livid. Wrathful. I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to rip you from your dreams so you could see my shattered reality. I wanted to hurt you. The one place where I was barricaded from pain by your hands, your embrace, your kiss. It’s now broken.

For the first time, I cried by myself.

You were there, but I was alone.

My emotions whipped my mind into a maelstrom. My tears were silent as I read. I wanted to look away. I wanted to stop. I wanted to smash your phone into the white walls. Break a hole in the plaster. Create something new for me to look at.



My heart…it hurts more than my body.





She said that she loves you too.

I’m telling you this because in my rage I deleted her response. Her words for you. The response that she had stolen from my lips, from my heart. Those were supposed to be my words.

I wanted to delete the whole chain of messages. Your pain, her comfort, words of affection and love exchanged between you both. I wanted to erase them so you would know that I knew.

But then I realized that you would know. You would know that I found out.


My heart aches, for I am not something that will last for much longer.

If you knew that I knew, what kind of guilt would eat at your heart?



More than what you feel now is the correct answer.




You are the same Chanyeol that took me on sporadic trips. The same Chanyeol that wrote songs for me, about me, to me. The same Chanyeol that held my hand through all those tests, who kissed my frightened tears away, who held my painful body so delicately, so securely in your arms.

Yet you are a different person now.

I thought the look in your eye was because my time was drawing close. And it was, but it was more. It was guilt.

Did you curse yourself? Scream questions to yourself about how you could love two people at once?



Chanyeol.


My love.


It is possible. Like how a parent loves their children. Like how I would rather die for all of my friends rather than have to pick just one.

It is possible.

Set your mind at ease.

Set your heart at ease.

Please.

I want you to be free from this guilt. I won’t last much longer. It’s already too much for me to get out from under these white sheets and stretch my legs. It hurts too much. It’s too harsh on my lungs. My lungs that are being chewed away.

Don’t tell me not to say it, because it’s true and we need to face it like how we faced all those other tests, all those other trials.


My year and a half is over.

I’m going to die soon.

I know.

I can feel it.



I am not writing this to hurl you into more guilt, please, Chan. For months you’ve tried to hide yourself from me. But as much as it hurts, I wish I had known sooner. It brings me peace that you will be able to move on after a little bit of time. I know I still matter to you, that you still love me, that you will miss me when I’m gone, and that comforts me. But it brings me joy that she understands, that she loves you too, that she will wait for you to be ready to move on.


Take it Chanyeol.

Take your life back.

You are still young.

I’ve taken away years. You’ve been with me in plain white rooms for years, and I thank you beyond what words can ever say. But she can free you from these white walls. She can bring you to green grass and blue skies. Orange sunsets and pink sunrises. The velvety purple of dusk. The yellow sun. A silver moon. Twinkling stars, like your eyes when you smile.

You don’t smile much anymore. I miss it. But that’s ok, as long as you let yourself smile later with her.


Love her.

With every bit of passion and care as you did with me and more.

I feel so happy, so secure because of you. Let her feel the same, please. Share it with her, your love. Don’t let guilt chain your warmth and smiles and kisses and hugs and laughter to a breathless body.

Don’t feel guilty, Chanyeol, I beg you.

You have so much to give, don’t waste it on someone who won’t be able to return it anymore.


Before the pain started, when we shared plans about the future. Vacations, pets, where to live, a home, how many kids, all the soft whispers, the promises. Make new ones with her. Move on when you’re ready, but don’t linger for too long. I want you to enjoy your life.

I wish I could’ve met her. I wish I could thank her for bringing you happiness during this time of sorrow and loss. I wish I could tell her all the things you like, all the things you don’t like. Your habits, the good ones and the bad ones and the annoying, trivial ones. I wish I could tell her everything I know about you.

But it would be more intimate for you both to figure it out together.





I want this letter to end with a beginning. My book has ended, but there’s a new chapter for you. Please continue to write in it. As you move on with your limited time, cherish life.


Take care of yourself, for I want you to be happy when I see you later.

Farewell. Travel safely and happily.

I love you, Chanyeol.

Thank you.

Let’s part with good feelings.





Goodbye

Dating Remus Lupin Headcanons

no one asked for these but I just reread Prisoner of Askaban and it rekindled my deep love for Remus! also i needed a pick-me-up after some depressing days 

  • He’d only ask you out after you showed some pretty obvious “more than friends” interest in him. And yes that includes James and Sirius insisting that you would say yes
  • He has the oddest combination of being very loving and rather distant at the same time at first
  • You’re also sure- nay, positive that he’s hiding something from you and after about half a year of dating you finally figure out what it is
  • When you finally confront him/wait for him to confide in you about being a werewolf and insist that it doesn’t change the way you feel about him, he pulls you into a hug and says something that nearly breaks your heart: “You don’t care that I’m a monster?”
  • You tell him to never call himself that word again , and that’s the first time he tells you he loves you
  • but oh man after that he says those three words a lot, but not enough for them to lose their value.
  • He gets very moody in the week leading up to the full moon so be prepared to be patient with him 
  • Visiting him in the hospital wing during those rough days is a must. You bring chocolate, other sweets and his favorite books so you can sit and read together when the boys aren’t there
  • Sirius and James are constantly making fun of you two but are also your biggest shippers alongside Lily
  • Remus is always saying how he can’t study properly with you because your adorableness distracts him even though all you’re doing is studying too
  • You ever hear that thing where people talk about “being touched so gently you want to cry”? Well you understant that feeling very well after being with Remus, just sayin’. 
  • When you’re out of Hogwarts and into your adult life the prejudice towards werewolves becomes more apparent than ever, and though it’s hard and tests your strength it’s a lot easier to deal with because of the sheer deepness of your love and support
  • But Remus himself tests your patients as well because you have to deal with his bouts of self deprecation and insistence that “you deserve better than me”
  • Your fights are infrequent but when they do crop up they can be pretty hellacious. More than once they’ve ended with slammed door and some tears. Remus is always the first to apologize, usually by just pulling you into a hug, burying his face in your neck and whispering how he’s sorry for being so difficult 
3

Colour-changing burns bandages begin clinical trials

Bandages that change colour and glow when a wound gets infected could be manufactured as early as 2017 if clinical trials go well. 

The bandages, developed at the University of Bath, are being tested with patient samples from four UK hospitals to statistically determine how effective they are. 

Sadly burns often have symptoms of infection but actual infection is much rarer. At the moment infection diagnosis takes up to two days and requires removing dressings, a painful and upsetting process for burns patients which can slow healing and cause scarring. Antibiotics are also prescribed as a precaution while the tests are conducted.

Colour-changing bandages would give an early-warning that real infection is taking hold, meaning medics could provide better and quicker treatment. 

The bandage contains gel in tiny capsules. When infection-causing bacteria are present the capsules dissolve and release the gel which then fluoresces bright yellowy-green, alerting patients and medics to the problem. 

If they do make it onto wards the bandages would not only improve treatment but save money through cutting down on the cost of tests and drug prescriptions. They would also help tackle the threat of drug-resistant bacteria because there wouldn’t be a need to prescribe as many antibiotics as a precaution. 


Images: University of Bath

weresehlat  asked:

Bibliomom, I'm sure you've thought of this already, but if you think Lyme disease might be a possible cause of the medical fuckery I highly recommend asking your awesome dentist to save a sample of the root pulp next time you get a tooth pulled for analysis. Lyme often hides in the roots of teeth, and can cause a ton of the things you've been getting, and tissue samples are a lot more reliable than the tests they currently have on the market (56% of known patients test negative)

It’s something that has crossed my mind again recently given that I learned I was bit by a tick as a kid, and got “flu” after it, and my parents took me to the doctor who apparently just shrugged and told them my fever wasn’t dangerous so go home and sleep.

I was later tested three times for it, twice in Scotland and once over here, and the result came back negative everytime, but I dare say the naturopath doctor I’m saving up to see might be a tad more interested in trying again. And while I can’t afford another tooth extraction for a while (physically or financially) I’ll certainly keep that in mind and bring it up with him when I see him next. Thanks 💖

EXO reactions to their girlfriend being very clumsy

Originally posted by sooranghaes

Suho : He would find your clumsiness is cute. You would make him wants to take care of you all the time because you can either break anything or fall into something. When you two walk together, he will hold your hand like a mom afraid of losing her child. It worries him so when he is not around you, he will constantly call or text to check you out. “Please don’t ruin my favourite shirt again when you do the laundry babe”.


Originally posted by idk-kpop

Xiumin : He would be cautious, you will always ended falling in his arms if you stumble on something. He will try to fix your habit by advicing you to do your chores slowly and carefully. But, you still ended up breaking things which testing his patient. He will ended up doing all on his own and told you not touch anything.


Originally posted by ygyixing

Lay : Despite of being clueless, Yixing is not a clumsy person. He will find you cute and tells you it’s okay to be clumsy. He will never get mad if you lose his favourite hat he gave you, he will never scold you for breaking his collectable items, as long as you are not hurt he is okay.


Originally posted by idk-kpop

Chen : Chen will lectures you because of your careless behaviour. He will rant and rant in front of you while fixing everything up. After he clean up all your mess, he will ask you if you are hurt anywhere and rant again he will freak out if there’s a scar on your body he will takes you to emergency room. So basically he’s having anxiety because of you.


Originally posted by mickyawesomnessninja

Baekhyun : He would laugh if you stumble on something and accidentally making funny expressions. He will laugh at you hysterically first, until he is satisfy, then he comes to you. “Are you okay? Goodness, I didn’t know you can be ugly sometimes. I should take a video just now” even though he is playful, he still helps you.


Originally posted by mickyawesomnessninja

Chanyeol : He is okay, he accept your weakness. Then one day you broke one of his action figure which he bought straight from Japan, his expressions getting dark. He will be devastated but trying to calm himself. “It’s okay…it’s okay.. it’s just a toy” he laughed weakly. You apologize and and promise him to buy another one. He didn’t force you to buy it but would appreciate of you do. He hide all of his action figures from you after that.


Originally posted by daebaksoo

D.O : When you want to be helpful in the kitchen, it turns out to be a burden for him. You boiled the water until the pot burnt, you cook the rice too mushy, the veggies are cut unevenly. He will scratched his head and almost losing his mind. “I have one job for you. Sit here, and taste my the food I cook” that’s the only thing you can do as an assistant.


Originally posted by sunkai

Kai : He will constantly remind you to not lose anything precious like the necklace he gave you on the first anniversary. But, you lose it anyway. He appreciate that you like to make him a surprise event but ended up in a messy situation. Still, he didn’t see it as a flaw, rather than something that make smile when he thinks of you.


Originally posted by exo-daydreams

Sehun : Sehun could not be much of a help. If you ruin something, he will try to fix it but will get worse after that. He always told you just leave it to the hyungs and ran away from the crime you both made. But when they ask you if you did those things, Sehun will admit it for you cuz he doesn’t want you to get into trouble. Well, he can be a sweet boyfriend sometimes.

A/N: 1 down, 5 requests to go~ I hope you peaches enjoy this one too :3 – Cuppy-nim