path blocked

I don’t know how Ashland will be opened (when it’s eventually opened), but honestly, it would be so fitting if Elsa Einstein opened it. Just “It is too cold here and I’m too afraid of heights to take the balloon or elevator out but I’ve heard rumour of a very warm place! It’s called Ashland. Now, take these Kallstones and blow up the ice blocking the path. Hurry up now, before I turn into a human popsicle”

8

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too treacherous to pass, but being learned in the magical arts, the three brothers simply waved their wands and made a bridge. Before they could cross, however, they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. It was Death, and he felt cheated. Cheated because travelers would normally drown in the river, but Death was cunning. He pretended to congratulate the three brothers on their magic and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him.

Wanna park and act like an a**hole? Enjoy paying thousands.

Years ago, I worked as a security officer in a high-traffic tourist area (graveyard shift).

One of my responsibilities was to make sure my building’s loading/unloading zone is kept clear because at all hours of the day we’ve got vehicles coming and going for people going to meetings, visitors, tourists, cabs, etc. The curb is painted white and marked in big bold letters ✶ LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY ✶ NO PARKING ✶. At the end of the zone there was a single handicap parking stall painted bright blue.

Now the building I worked at was nearby a few large night clubs, so every Friday and Saturday the area would be crazy busy with drunken fighting, vomiting, occasional alleyway sex, etc. All night long there’d be cute girls milling around in skimpy outfits, so the job had its perks too.

Clubbers would take advantage of my building’s valet parking service and pay to park in our garage before heading out to one of the clubs across the street.

Some clubbers would think they could get away with parking in our loading zone all night. My coworkers and I would aggressively patrol the area in the earlier evening hours and advise as many people as we could so they’d leave and avoid getting a ticket. It was also better for us if they left, because when there were too many vehicles parked out front, traffic would become a complete clusterf*ck regardless of the time of day.

Most people would be grateful for the information and leave. Occasionally, some douche would laugh in our faces, say something about pigs or rent-a-cops or whatever and leave their car anyway. In those cases, we’d call our city’s parking enforcement and they’d get a $90 ticket for their troubles.

One Saturday night, after finished a round of patrols, I went to take a leak. On my way back out, I walked past Dispatch and my buddy calls me over to the surveillance bank.

“Hey bro, you got one out front.”

I turned to the grainy feed just in time to see a piece-of-junk ‘97 BMW sloppily parking in front of our building. I murmured that I’d go out and advise the driver, but before I could leave, the driver exited his vehicle.

My buddy and I watched in silence as the driver, a young black male adorned with flashy cheap bling, hiked his pants up at the crotch and blocked the path of a couple girls walking by. He started hitting on them in the slimiest way possible, even trying to grab their hands and asses at one point, staring shamelessly at their tits while he was schmoozing them. He took out his phone and shoved it at them, presumably asking for their numbers.

Eventually the girls were able to dodge his grabbers and ran off toward the club across the street. He repeated this routine several more times with various groups of girls walking by, even taking out a small bottle of vodka from his back pocket and offering swigs. With each rejection, he’d get angry and presumably cuss out the girls as they hurried off (our cameras didn’t pick up audio but this seemed a reasonable assumption).

I sighed and looked at my buddy.

“Well, I guess I’ll go talk to him.”

I made my way out to the front and approached him just as another group of girls ducked away from him. I called out to him. He turned and stared at me blankly.

“Hey, man, just wanted to let you know that this zone is for loading and unloading. Normally it’s not a big deal to park for a bit but if everyone does it on the weekends, traffic gets backed up pretty bad here.”

The douche looked at his vehicle, then at my badge.

“F*CKYOUB*TCHASSN☻☻☻☻I'LLF*CKYOUUP. PIGASSWANNABECOPMOTHAF*CKA.”

I looked at my watch. It was about 10:30PM. I continued my spiel.

“Parking enforcement here is pretty strict. You should move your vehicle or you might get ticketed–”

“F*CKYOUN☻☻☻☻SUCKMYD*CK. BETTERNOTTOUCHMYSHITN☻☻☻☻ILLF*CKYOUUPN☻☻☻☻.”

“Have a good night sir.”

He flipped me off and went across the street, where he was promptly denied entry for dress code violations. He cussed out the bouncer and wandered off down the block. I walked over to his vehicle and saw that it was parked crooked, the rear of the vehicle partially blocking the lane of traffic. Half of his vehicle was in the white zone, the other in the blue zone. I key’d up my radio.

“8million to dispatch.”

“8million, go ahead.”

“Can you call parking enforcement for this vehicle? Lemme know when you’re ready for the plate.”

Fifteen minutes later, the parking officer arrived. He looked at the vehicle and promptly issued a $90 ticket for parking in the white zone and a $900 ticket for parking in the blue zone without a permit.

I thanked the officer and went back inside to have a snack.

A couple hours later, two of the local cops stopped by to say hi. As Officer Morris and his partner walked over, Dispatch radio’d me.

“Hey 8million, is that Jones and Morris?”

“Sure is.”

“You gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?”

“Yep.”

Officer Jones and I lit up our cigarettes as Officer Morris looked on disapprovingly. We all smoked and chatted for a bit, then I casually motioned over my shoulder at the BMW.

“Hey, Jones, check out the parking job on that piece of shit.”

We all walked over to the corner and looked at the vehicle, the two tickets stuck on the windshield flapping in the wind. Officer Morris grabbed one of the tickets, read it over and looked at me.

“What’s the story here?”

I told them what happened and the driver’s response. Officer Jones and Morris looked at each other.

“8million, you got the time?”

“Yeah, it’s… 12:27AM.”

“Well it’s a whole new day now isn’t it?”

Officer Morris proceeded to write another $90 ticket for the white zone, then another $900 ticket for the blue zone. He paused for a moment after finishing the second one.

“Hey Jones, looks like this vehicle is parked more than twelve inches from the curb. What do you think?”

“Sounds about right.”

Officer Morris wrote another ticket for $120 and slapped it on the pile of tickets on the windshield. I shook both officer’s hands and they left to continue their patrols.

The next few hours of my shift went by fairly quickly. Around 5AM, Dispatch scared the hell out of me.

“HEY 8MILLION, ARE YOU STILL ON THAT CALL?”

“Negative, I just finished clearing it.”

“RESPOND TO DISPATCH ASAP.”

I ran down to the surveillance bank, where my coworkers were all gathered and laughing their asses off. Sunday was street cleaning day and the BMW was getting ticketed again by parking enforcement.

After that, we all stopped by Dispatch every 5-10 minutes to see if the owner had returned. Finally, at about 6AM, douchebag came stumbling up the block, looking completely worn out. His formerly-white t-shirt was stained and dirty and it looked like he’d lost at least one fight.

We watched in suspense as he looked at the pile of tickets crammed together on his windshield and slowly removed them. He stood there, pants sagging below his knees, shuffling through each ticket as if he were a toddler with a handful of Pokémon cards.

With a look of abject defeat on his face, he got into his vehicle and drove off. The whole room erupted in laughter and high-fives.

As the laughter died down, I picked up the office phone and started dialing. My coworkers eyed me curiously. I put the call on speaker just as the call connected.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“Yeah, hi, I’d like to report a possible drunk driver. I have the vehicle and driver description when you’re ready.”

MARCH HOROSCOPES

Pisces, plant seeds down your spine and become the careful gardener of your own life.

Aries, choosing to stay alive is a talent.

Taurus, the solution you found for yourself isn’t necessarily what will work for everyone else.

Gemini, you are too clever and influential to let minor setbacks block your path to success.

Cancer, it’s not fair to make someone play a game if you never explain the rules.

Leo, if you have to convince them to love you then it is in your best interest to leave.

Virgo, know how much your friends appreciate you even when you don’t always see them.

Libra, be easy on yourself and know you are doing the very best you possibly can.

Scorpio, recognize your keen ability to make people feel either insignificant or unstoppable.

Sagittarius, don’t let anyone dilute you to just an anecdote they brag about at parties.

Capricorn, forgive your father even if you still settle for lovers with his same stubborn temper.

Aquarius, you still have the same good heart that you did as a child.
—  MARCH HOROSCOPES, by Blythe Baird (2017)
break the ice, 1

Pairing:  jungkook x reader x jimin
Genre: sports au, hockey player jungkook & jimin, smut, comedy?, slight angst, fluff too :’)
Warnings: thigh riding, sexting, phone sex, pillow riding
Word Count:  18k
Summary:

There are three rules to become an official Puck Bunny:
1.     You have to love hockey. No exceptions.
2.     You have to had slept with at least three hockey players. Starters, no benchwarmers.
3.     And most importantly, have fun!

A/N: i wanted this to be a oneshot but i kept adding and adding more :( …
anyway… enjoy part 1!!

Keep reading

Countdown

BACK WITH ANOTHER ONE-SHOT!!! I told you guys I’d have some canonverse klangst, so here it is! Longer than my usual one-shots, and while I don’t want to give a vague summary… there’s a bomb involved. So. Yeah, that’s a thing.

This one is actually inspired by this absolutely gorgeous, angsty art/mini-comic by @littlecofiegirl who is an amazing artist that you should definitely check out!!

I saw this comic on my dash and I loved it so much that I was immediately inclined to write for it? Anyway, here it is! I hope you enjoy!


The plan had been going flawlessly.

Key word being had.

Shiro and Lance were both searching opposite sides of the base for their captured teammate, and Pidge and Hunk were too occupied giving Shiro directions through the maze-like corridors that they neglected to warn Lance of the approaching Galra heat signature.

A cat blocked his path in the hall, staring at him with large, yellow eyes. It didn’t move to attack, but it also didn’t run away.

“Um… guys?” Lance tried over the coms, lowering his gun just a bit. He wasn’t about to shoot a cat, but he still wanted to be on guard.

He didn’t hear the Galra behind him until her hand was on his shoulder.

That was mistake number one.

Keep reading

Only Way To Live - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Stiles Stilinski/Reader

Word Count: 4818

Warnings: Kinky Filth, NSFW, 18+, Oral (Female Receiving)

Notes: Honestly, I’m kinda mixed about this entire thing? I don’t think it’s as good as some of the other stuff I’ve written. The idea was so good for this too! I got the idea from an episode of Attack of Titan while I was in my slump. So, please, any feedback ya’ll have would be appreciated.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Dan and Phil are roommates in college, Dan's horny and has been begging Phil all day to fuck him and make him cum and Phil finally caves when Dan starts jerking off in the shower while he's trying to do his homework so he puts on a cock ring and fucks dan until he passes out(aftercare too) and they don't go to their first class the next day cuz they're too tired lol overstimulation, cockslut!dan, choking and hairpulling

I also added a weeeeeny bit of daddy!kink and gave Dan a tongue piercing because why not? If you have trouble getting past the cut on mobile open in your browser!

When Phil first meets his university roommate, he knows he’s hit the jackpot. The boy who’s sitting on one of the single beds introduces himself as Dan, and suddenly Phil isn’t quite so regretful over his decision to live in one of the cramped one-room suites on campus, rather than paying extra for the more spacious dorms down the road. Dan is gorgeous, to say the least. He has these pretty brown eyes surrounded by fans of long lashes and lovely, dark locks that feather out against his face. His smile is so bright it might not even be an issue that there’s only one tiny window in the cinderblock room and that the lightbulb screwed into the cracked ceiling is basically useless.  He’s classically beautiful – but that isn’t necessarily what makes Phil decide he needs to have him within the first three seconds of knowing him. It’s more likely that every fibre in this boys’ being screams twink. From the way he’s dressed, in skin tight black jeans and a deep plunging V-neck that’s probably two sizes too small, to the way he spreads his long body across the small bed like he’s there for a centrefold shoot. Phil’s staring at his pouty, full bottom lip wondering what it’d look like wrapped around his cock when Dan – on habit, or perhaps something else – pushes the silver ball of his tongue piercing out and gently grips it between his teeth, before retracting it back into his mouth. It’s then that Phil’s want becomes more of a need.

Keep reading

2

Before my eyes, it blocks my path. A high, high wall; what sort of scene is on the other side? What will I be able to see there? T h e V i e w f r o m t h e T o p . A scenery that I will never see on my own; but if I’m not alone, then … I might be able to see it.

Happy Birthday, Hinata Shouyou! [ 2 1 . 0 6 ]

Capricorn - Cosmic Carriage 

From the highest pillar palace in the land, a weary Saturn princess rests her pretty little head. Her view from the mountain top balcony is exquisite and she stands maternally, sympathetically, and lovingly guarding her commoners.
Her palace is filled with gold and silver rings, replicas of her battles and triumphs with Saturn. Saturn would call her his chosen one and marvel at her ability to overcome any landslide he directed to block her path. She could be like a Goddess, throwing invisible swords into wars that only she could see and conquer. Mars exalts in Capricorn and there is no lack of fight and fear strangling her bones. She was caged by the fire breathing dragon and forced to escape by herself, she was given no mother or father to direct her, she didn’t write about a Prince Charming coming to save her, she abolished luck for labour, and given no option for failure. She knew as a young child that she was destined for greatness and began her upward climb the moment she could set goals and replicate what the adults were doing. As a child she protested her own small size and lack of autonomy, and she couldn’t wait to finally be able to provide herself with everything she needed, because no one ever had before.

She relentlessly works on behalf of her palace and people, they are like her family. And she is the same with her little family. She wants to provide, create righteous law, support, and lead the way with expertise. As they look up at her as Queen, she inspires followers with resolve and admirable strength of character. She is a Queen that rules alone and can see the personal potential in each of her subjects, encouraging them toward a life of greatness and pride. From this high pillar in the land the lights can be blinding and striking. Her silver Saturn rings flicker like cosmic gems and everything she has worked so hard to build for herself illuminates around and within her. But it can also be dark around the palace, the Saturn shadow can brood, and intimidate, and she can glue grey clouds in the sky with her sad and despairing moods, causing acid rain to fall on her palace. This is her self destruction creeping in as she begins writing her success story, because she gets heavy waves of hopelessness, inadequacy, undeservingness, and feeling like it’s all too much for her. Of course it isn’t, she is not just a cosmic diplomat but she has fought wars for her people and built everything by hand. With her sweetly structured bones she may look delicate as she sleeps, but God rests while she does, filling her dreams with more visions.

-C.

art: Mark Ryden

instant gratification 2.5 (m)

Originally posted by flippitt

➾ 10.6k 

➾warnings: smut, pregnancy mention (as applies to IG2)

➾jk’s POV of IG2 as heavily requested!

instant gratification 01 | 02


This party sucks. 

His phone screen is dark and it mocks him even as he pastes on a smile for the girl currently cuddling into his side. What was her name again? Ye Eun? Eunha? 

Fuck if he knows.

All he knows is that you’re not replying to his texts, and he needs to get drunk asap before he does something stupid like call you. The girl he currently has his arm around beckons to her friend from a distance away, and Jeongguk tries his best to keep his eyes off her tits in her low cut tube dress as she approaches with a giggle.

“Jeongguk, right?” Girl number 2 sidles up to his unoccupied side and he immediately feels her breasts against his arm. They’re firm to the touch, which either means that they’re entirely fake, or that there’s enough padding in her bra for it to be a bulletproof vest.

Either way, yours feel a million times better.

Keep reading

a tiny bit jealous

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Prompt: Reader has been friends with Peter since forever, and has been in love with him even longer

Requested by: n/a

Warnings: sadness, slight self-consciousness 

Word count: 2,018

Notes: There! Will! Be! A! Part! Two! Message me if you want to be tagged in it! Writing this gave me major feels you don’t even know.

Part two

Originally posted by tom-is-bae


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

6 and 25 with Buck

6. “Move away from the door and let me at him.” +
25. “Put me down!”- Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes had a very special talent of being able to drive you up the wall without saying a single word. His mere presence was enough to annoy you, and he knew it. However, one or two of your friends continuously hinted that what you were feeling wasn’t exactly annoyance.

“You do!” Wanda exclaimed, eating a large spoon of chocolate ice cream, “You so like him, you just won’t admit it!”

“I do not like that egotistic, careless, brutish, arrogant…” You ranted, kicking your legs up in the air as you lay upside down on your bed.

“Okay, okay, we get the point!” Natasha interrupted, chuckling quietly to herself as she filed her nails.

“I can’t believe you are trying to deny this, I can literally read your mind.” Wanda smirked, laughing as you threw a pillow at her head.

Meanwhile…

“Shutup Wilson, I do not like her, she’s insufferable!” Bucky grunted, taking a swig of his beer as he flipped his friend off.

“Oh come on man, you seek her out like a damn moth to a flame!” Sam chuckled, pointing the neck of his beer in Bucky’s direction

“He’s right Buck, it’s the age old awful stereotype of a little boy pulling a little girls pigtails because he likes her.” Steve smirked, bumping his fist with Sam as they both laughed at their clueless friend.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Bucky exclaimed, scowling as his friends continued to laugh at him. “Fine! What’ve I gotta do to get you jerks off my back?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Ooooh, this could be interesting…” Sam grinned, looking over at his blond friend, “So many opportunities!”

“It has to be something she’d hate, something that would make her so annoyed that she’d get that look like she was about to explode…” Steve hummed, dropping his head back against the sofa.

“I know!” Sam clicked his fingers, jumping up from his seat, “Drop her in the pool!”

“Seriously, that’s it?” Bucky scoffed, placing his bottle down on the coffee table.

“Ooh, no that’s good!” Steve murmured, “She hates water, comes with the pyromancer territory.”

“Okay, fine!” Bucky huffed, getting up and storming out of the room, Steve and Sam following behind him like excitable children.

Meanwhile…

“And then, it blew up in his face!” Wanda laughed, causing you and Natasha to burst out laughing as well.

“Stark’s such an idiot.” You chuckled fondly, flicking through your instagram feed on your phone. 

Just as Natasha began regaling the two of you with stories of failed missions, the door slammed open and the last person in the world you wanted to see came striding in.

“Barnes, what the fu-” You exclaimed, not being able to finish your sentence before you were scooped up in his arms and thrown over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You shouted, hitting your fists against his back as he carried you through the corridors, “What the hell do you think your doing?”

As the two of you walked through a set of double doors, you still struggling in his grip, it suddenly became very clear where he was taking you. Going still for a moment, you dropped your voice an octave before growling.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I swear to god if you drop me in the pool, you will rue the day you were ever born!”

Without another word, you were unceremoniously dropped in the cold water, spluttering and shivering your broke the surface to see the faces of 4 of your team mates looking utterly shocked, and the 5th looking way to smug.

“What the fuck Barnes?” Wanda exclaimed, turning to glare at the super soldier. Moving silently through the water, you pulled yourself out, barely controlling your anger.

“I can’t believe he actually did it…” Sam murmured to Steve, both boys looking ridiculously guilty.

“You better run Barnes.” Natasha said ominously, raising an eyebrow at the brunette as he started looking more nervous, inching towards the double doors before making a run for it.

In a matter of seconds, the doors slammed shut and Steve and Sam moved into place in front of them, blocking your path. Finally losing your cool, you charged at the two men, snarling as Steve wrapped an arm around your middle to stop your way.

“Move away from the door and let me at him.” You growled, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Y/N… this is all just a big misunderstanding…” Steve murmured placatingly brows furrowing as you continued to struggle. 

“This isn’t a misunderstanding Steve, everyone here knows how much I hate water, he’s just a huge jackass!” You snarled, losing a bit of your edge as a sob broke past your lips.

“Y/N I-” Sam, trailing off as the two finally let you go.

You weren’t going to confront Barnes now, no, you were going to cry in your room. About your fear of water, and how this guy you had slowly fallen for turned out to be exactly who you thought he was all along.

Prompt ListRequest a prompt!