patched cow

2

2.142

Adrianna’s POV

What we entered was the barn I had previously noticed from the outside. It was huge, and furnished like a living room, only with bales of hay and mooing cows. Everything possible was decorated with a cow-patched pattern, there were horns and pictures depicting cows on the walls and basically the whole furnishing idea highly supported the animals’ presence in the room. Sinjin and two other people dressed in white robes stood next to the door; the man pointed at an ice cream machine with a confused look on his face, and the girl watched him quietly.

“Where should I put this?” the man’s voice was deep and soothing, and made him sound like a radio host.

“Do we even need it?” Sinjin questioned, scratching his bald head. “Do people eat ice cream at parties?”

“I think they would, if they could,” the girl said; she spoke softly and calmly, and smiled shyly, noticing we had entered. “Oh Sinjin, we have guests.”

3

Niall being patriotic once again folks

Cuffed

I might make this a series… Holly and Gail’s Lab-scapades

In her time spent in the lab with Holly, Gail had listened to plenty of weird coming from the brunettes mouth. Just within the last hour she had already heard sentences like; “This is the most incredible benign tumour I’ve ever seen” and “Don’t put your hand in that wet patch, it’s a cows eyeball fluid.”

None of that prepared her for what Holly just said though, and she can’t stop her mouth opening and closing on repeat as she watches Holly carry on filling in her paperwork as if she hadn’t said a thing. “What?”

“I said, nobody has ever put me in handcuffs before.” Just like the first time her mouth drops open, and Gail’s not sure if it’s for her benefit that the brunette turns around and winks at her, with the pen she was writing with pursed between her lips, but the innocence of it all makes her gulp anyway.

Keep reading

nightpool  asked:

Mafia, but all of the characters are replaced by dirk and all of the roles by different aspects of dirk

oh god.… .. …… theater of coolty epicmafia edition

DIRK: autoresponder is the killer

AR: maybe I am. but i’m you. so if it was me, don’t you bear some of that responsibility

DIRK: i mean if you want to get philosophical about it then there’s much more about the flimsy situational causality we currently exist in to analyze before we can get down to brass tacks like personhood and agency. we live in a fucked up murder town and all have to act underneath a very specific set of rules and order of events. if this were real life, i could just stab you and that would be it. but since it’s not, i have to talk 8 more equally stubborn pompus windbags who think they’ve got it all figured out into realizing that the actual pompous windbag who figured it out is me. and you’re scum.

DREAM DIRK: back the fuck up there supreme court justice sonia brotomayor. you’re making a decent point but part of your argument hinges on stabbing the autoresponder. and he is either, depending on how you look at it, a. a pair of sick shades, or b. code, distributed through a LAN and having no true physical location at any time. you can’t stab that either way.

DIRK: you have obviously never tried hard enough to stab a pair of sunglasses.

DREAM DIRK: maybe it’s because i don’t have your specific set of insecurities

DIRK: of course you have my specific set of insecurities. we all do. that’s why we’re here, in this horrible purgatory battle royale shit town.

BRAIN GHOST DIRK: i don’t have your specific set of insecurities.

DIRK: no one asked you. go be gay somewhere else.

BRAIN GHOST DIRK: your words can’t hurt me because i’m not a lonely sack of shit like the other nine of you. I’ve got a boyfriend.

DEAD DIRK: yeah, we know. you won’t stop bringing that up.  go tell your blog about it.

DIRK: well this has gone an absolutely unsurprising amount of dead-end nowhere. We’ve dragged this conversation into a dusty wyoming grassland patch of emaciated cows. let’s get this over with. I’m cop, miller’s dead, no framer, and AR flipped maf. that’s all there is too it. Anyone stupid enough to cc?

AR: i cc.

DIRK: are you shitting me right now.

AR: yes, i actually am.

AR: I’ll admit, you’ve backed me into quite a corner here, but. counterpoint

AR: OMGUS RL BW dirk?

DEAD DIRK: yes

BRAIN GHOST DIRK: hell yes

DREAM DIRK: hell FUCKING yes

DIRK: %dirk :shotgun: %dirk

Dirk, the fool, didn’t wake up in the morning.

Fool wins!

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Me:</b> *Listens to heavy metal/metal core/scremo*<p/><b>Me:</b> *Listens to it while wearing a white and pink fluffy onesie with cow patches on it*<p/><b>Me:</b> So hardcore.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>