pasta noodles

Pasta Emoji Ratings

A classic, nice simple sauce, would eat this no problem. Probably tastes pure and the kids would love it. 7/10

Fun, simple, but dangerously close to Mac n Cheese with that level of orange saturation. They would probably steal your labeled food from the fridge, simply shameful. Not sure what the purple spots are either, not sure if i’d eat this one. 5/10

Shameful, it appears to be a few noodles left on a plate, what a waste. Would not eat someone’s leftovers. 0/10

Elegant, simple, modern. Reminiscent of a pizza, which is a fresh new way to approach the subject. The stray noodle is a little worrying, but for the most part they’re a hardworking, well put together pasta. Would hang this up in my modern art gallery. 8/10

Not sure how to feel about this one. While the sauce is one of the best renditions I’ve seen, beautiful detail, the rest of the dish is lacking. The leaves look dangerous, like those delinquents that try to roll with the pure kids, but we’re onto them. I love the symmetry of the three noodles rising from the sauce, would eat them for sure. Not so sure about the rest. 6/10

Fake. This obviously canned pasta is trying to play itself off as genuine, unforgivable. While the taste is probably fine, a pasta you’d let your daughter hang out with, it doesn’t excuse the fact that it’s a filthy liar. would not eat for fear of my health. 2/10 

A very small noodle, good with young children, tries their best at all times. It has the perfect portion of sauce for such a tiny thing, and it deserves all it can get. I would eat this, but gently, as not to intimidate it. 9/10

Magnificent! Tasty! A real winner of a dish! The attention to detail and shading simply astonishes me. This dish is to die for, and the kind you’d bring home to your mother. Simply lovely, would definitely eat. 10/10

This is just abhorrent, not tasty at all. The choice of thick white noodles surrounded by a yellow liquid, while an interesting take, is incredibly inaccurate and tasteless. Would not eat, especially with that trident thing. 1/10

flavourless, an absolute bore of a dish. White I appreciate the detail of the cell shaded noodles, they lack charisma and courage. Would be a true pure friend, someone you can rely on, but very easily manipulated and a momma’s boy. Need’s more saturation if it want’s to roll with the big boys. 4/10. 

I feel like this is a failed attempt at what HTC excelled at. The abstract look they’re going for just doesn’t execute well at all. And that black border feel’s very threatening and hostile, as if I’m not allowed to eat it. The kind of pasta who has problems with it’s masculinity. Probably wouldn’t eat. 3/10

Why the fuck is there chocolate syrup on my pasta. 0/10

Only just found out udon noodles are actually vegan what have I been doing for the past 8 months of my life 😪 😂 Served them up with stir-fry veggies and some crispy maple tofu and peanut sauce 👌 The best meals are just your fridge contents thrown into a bowl right??

✨ instagram✨ @veganzoejessica 


Shrimp &  Zucchini Pasta with Creamy Garlic Sauce 

Ingredients for Shrimp & Pasta 

½ pound of extra large shrimp, tails removed, peeled, and deveined

1 ½-2 tbsp unsalted butter 

Granulated garlic, parsley, kosher (or sea) salt, black pepper, Hungarian paprika

2 large zucchinis - made into noodles using either a mandolin or vegetable spiralizer 

~¼ cup heavy cream 

Dash white cooking wine

1 clove fresh garlic, minced 

1 ½ tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice 

Fresh grated parmesan cheese (optional - but who are we kidding) 

Salt, pepper, pinch red pepper flakes (optional if you want spice) 


Tip: to plump up your shrimp, place them in water with a small amount of salt (and optionally, sugar - in combination) 

Clean and pat your shrimp dry. Season liberally. 

Heat a large pan over medium heat and melt your butter. 

Place shrimp into pan cook for about 1-2 minutes on the first side, and about 1 minute on the second side. Please don’t overcook your shrimp. 

Remove shrimp to a clean plate. In the same pan - that still has leftover “shrimp juice), add your heavy cream. Bring to a small simmer and add cooking wine and garlic. 

Toss in zucchini noodles and cook until just warmed through. 

Taste your sauce and adjust for any seasonings. 

Assemble your dish and serve. 

*Can be made vegetarian by having the noodles alone (also delicious)