passive aggressive roommate

Cohabitation

Originally posted by celes-tae

Before you went off to college, you’d heard horror stories about awful, inconsiderate, sometimes even psychotic, roommates. You’d heard stories about people that left dishes piled in the sink until mold grew, you’d heard stories about people throwing raging parties every night of the week, you’d heard stories about people having flat out passive aggressive wars with their roommates, you’d seen movies like Roommate; and, if you were being honest with yourself, you were terrified.

Your freshman year wasn’t terrible. You lived with a girl who was messy, had a habit of keeping the room as stifling hot as possible whenever she was home, and could talk to a brick wall if she was so inclined. But she was nice. She accommodated your wishes to be left alone, in silence, during exams. She always made her boyfriend leave by six so that you could have a little downtime before you went to bed. And she truly tried to befriend you, even if you were two opposite sides of two different coins.

Sophomore year was a bit of a step up. Your roommate was clean, she rarely (if ever) had friends over, and she kept your shared room freezing. She was, however, more of a talker than your first roommate and had a taste for midnight adventures (one of your best memories would always be of the night that finals ended and the two of you took a dip in your school fountain).

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There are certain situations in which one expects to find passive-aggressive notes.  Roommates who haven’t done dishes; neighbors who didn’t appreciate that loud party last night; jerks who take up two parking spots when they would have fit into one.  About the last place I’d generally expect to find a passive-aggressive note - particularly a professionally mass-produced one - is in an abandoned asylum.  But that’s exactly what I found taped to a paper towel dispenser in the wards of Athens State Hospital - such a note, pertaining to hand-washing hygiene!

As someone who’s a real arachnaphobe but likes spiders and wants to peacefully coexist with them I really wish I could just leave them passive aggressive roommate notes.

Just like “hi! I see you’ve moved in. Welcome, please help yourself to any bugs and insects you find crawling around. Just one thing–could you not crawl around on the ceiling above my head while I’m trying to sleep? It’s a personal space thing. Also if you’re going to lay eggs could you do it in the walls because if I see a clutch of eggs hatch into a ton of baby spiders my soul will depart from my body. Thx, see you at movie night!!”

RWBY Roommate Questions
  • 1: Which roommate insists on having a "chore schedule"?
  • 2: Which roommate actually follows the "chore schedule"?
  • 3: Which roommate is constantly out of the room, partying?
  • 4: Which roommate always "borrows" things and doesn't give them back?
  • 5: Which roommate is the one who does all the dishes?
  • 6: Which roommate puts more dirty dishes in the sink right when the dish-doer is almost done?
  • 7: Which roommate tries to hide a pet in the room, despite there being a no-pets rule?
  • 8: Which roommate gets in trouble for their messy room being a fire hazard?
  • 9: Which roommate constantly brings over "friends" to the room without letting anyone know?
  • 10: Which roommate treats the others to delivery pizza?
  • 11: Which roommate decides to play loud music at 4 in the morning?
  • 12: Which roommate FINALLY convinces everyone that the laundry situation is out of control?
  • 13: Which roommate lets the others use their netflix account?
  • 14: Which roommate organizes the roomie "movie night"?
  • 15: Which roommate leaves snarky post-it notes all around the room?
  • 16: Which roommate pulls all-nighters to finish their school work?
  • 17: Which roommate puts the "ass" in "passive-aggressive"?
  • 18: Which roommate writes their name over all their food in the fridge?
  • 19: Which roommate eats any food regardless of who's name is on it?
  • 20: Which roommate puts an empty milk-carton back into the fridge?
  • 21: Which roommate has a secret stash of junk food in their room?
  • 22: Which roommate finally gets fed up and cleans the bathroom?
  • 23: Which roommate cooks a special home-cooked meal for finals week?
  • 24: Which roommate cooks a special energy-drink cocktail for finals week?
  • 25: Which roommate is the most emotional when it's time for them all to move out?

i’ve long said i’m nasty and lazy and household things don’t bother me.  i’ll take the trash out when it bothers me, but until then… i’ll usually just leave it.  if you want me to do it, instead of passively aggressively refusing to touch it until someone else does… JUST ASK!  I’ve made this offer multiple times to everyone i live with.  I cannot read your fucking mind.  so if you want me to do something, FUCKING ASK!

Imagine the Engineer being the ultimate passive aggressive roommate. He always treats the other mercs like roomies he just has to put up with. He uses sticky notes with the snarkiest messages he can muster without outright insulting people. He leaves them wherever he deems fit; on leftover food containers warning others not to touch the contents lest they too lose a hand, or on messy sinks warning about how it better be clean by the time he gets back or else someone’s face is going to be used to scrub it. Oh, how the sticky notes are feared.