pass or fail a test

what hearing jins voice in a song is like

- finding five dollars in ur laundry
- passing a test when u thought u failed
- seeing a rainbow
- a friend giving you a nice gift for no reason
- eating fruit thats perfectly ripe
- learning at the check out counter that ur items are on sale
- wearing matching socks
- finding something cool u forgot u owned
- a cool rock thats free cause its on the ground so u take it
- the day ur phone data refreshes each month
- taking a good selfie after 1000 ugly ones
- beating a boss at like 1 hp
- learning a cool new word and using it in conversation

Killing a toxic co-workers hopes, dreams, and future.

Names changed for anonymity, happened a few years back. This is a long one so TL;DR at the bottom.

Background: I got a job working for a small hardware company. 4 people in the office, a few in the warehouse, and a delivery driver. Nothing fancy, but it got me off the night shift and onto a desk. The owner was a pretty nice guy, let’s call him Ray. Ray took over the family business in the early 2000s. Like most small business owners he was pretty frugal. The job came with absolutely zero perks. 10 vacation days that doubled as sick days, no insurance, everyone was hourly and Ray hated paying OT. He had one large customer that accounted for about half his business and everything after that was profit. He had gotten to the point where the business was doing well enough to support his comfortable life (10-3 schedule, 4 weeks vacation, season baseball tickets) and had zero interest in growing it beyond that point. But my problem was not with Ray, it was with the absolute b*tch in the purchasing department.

The players: Four people in the office meant that every part of this business fell to one of us. Ray was the owner, he negotiated large scale orders both with customers and suppliers. Sarah was our admin/receptionist, sweet as pie. I was in charge of order processing and logistics, and I did quite a bit of work revamping the company website. Ingrid (aka B*tch Supreme) handled small scale purchasing and most of the other customers.

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I Think I’m in Love With My Tutor  (Newt x Ravenclaw!Reader)

**Not my gif**

Request:  Heyyyy!!!! First ilysm, second, can you do a newt x ravenclaw! reader and she is forced to tutor him for his bad subjects but they end up liking each other!! FLUFFY PLZTAHNK YOU - @just-a-bit-odd


You were Y/N L/N, one of the brightest Ravenclaws at Hogwarts.  The top in all your classes and well-liked by your teachers and peers.

It was the end of your potions class.  You neatly tucked your book and quills into your bag and were on your way out the door, but your professor stopped you.

“Miss L/N?”

“Yes, professor?”

“It appears one of my Hufflepuff students has been struggling with his work.  If he fails my class, he’ll have to take it again.”

“And what do you need me for?” you questioned.

“Since you’re one of the best students, I figured you could tutor him.  I’ll gladly give you some extra credit for it, though I’m sure you don’t need it.

“Lovely.  Who is this boy?”

“Newt Scamander.”

Your mind starting racing.  Oh Merlin.  The adorable Hufflepuff with the freckles and always smells like cinnamon but no one knows why?  The one that loves nothing more than magical beasts and creatures?

“Miss L/N?”

You snapped out of your daze.  “What?  Oh–uh–yes, of course I’ll tutor him.”

“Thank you.  He tends to daydream during class.  Once he nearly dropped his baby bowtruckle… oh what’s its name… Stickett?  Kickett?  Something like that.  Starting tomorrow you will meet in the library an hour before dinner,” your professor finished.  

You nodded.  “I won’t let you down, professor.  But there is one more thing I need.”

“And what is that?”

“Could you write me a late pass?”

**Time skip to next day**

Your potions books were neatly stacked in your arms as you quickly made your way to the library.  You were very eager to see Newt, even though you were pretty sure he had never heard of you.

You are not going to make a fool out of yourself, Y/N!  You thought to yourself.

You kicked open the library door since you were holding books, which earned you a lovely “SHH!” and a stern glare from Madam Pince.  You flinched and mouthed a quick “sorry” and walked behind a bookshelf out of her sight to the table where you saw Newt sitting.  He appeared to be talking quietly to a tiny, green stick-like creature.

You set your books down, causing him to rapidly look up and the creature to scramble and bury himself in Newt’s breast pocket.

“O-oh, hello.  I didn’t see you there,” Newt said.

You smiled.  “I’m sorry I startled you and your… uh…  pet?”

Newt cocked his head and then realized what you were talking about.  “Oh!  That’s Pickett, my bowtruckle.  He has some attachment issues.”  Pickett popped his head out of Newt’s pocket at the sound of his name.  

“He’s quite adorable,” you replied, observing the bowtruckle.

The little bowtruckle made a tiny squeaking noise as to say “thank you.”

Newt smiled in the cutest, dorkiest way possible.  No one had ever complimented his creatures before.  “He likes you.”

“I would hope so,” you said.  “Now let’s get started on your studies, Newt.”

Newt all of a sudden flushed a deep shade of red.  “Uh… what if I told you I didn’t know your name…?”

You chuckled.  “No need to be embarrassed.  It’s Y/N L/N.”

“That’s very pretty…,” he whispered under his breath thinking you couldn’t hear him.

“What?  Did you say my name is pretty?”

Newt’s eyes got unbelievably large and his cheeks unbelievably pink.  “What?  Oh–uh–no!  I mean it is–but–!”

You cut him off with a giggle.  “It’s fine!  Don’t beat yourself up.”

Newt looked utterly relieved.

“So, shall we begin?”


You spent the next hour going over potion basics with Newt.

“Okay.  How long does it take to brew polyjuice potion?”

Newt knit his eyebrows.  “Isn’t it… ten minutes to twelve hours?” Newt answered

sounding unsure.

“Well… you’re close.  That’s how long the effects last.  To brew the actual potion takes one month,” you corrected in a kind tone.

“Sorry… potions has never been my best subject.”

“Don’t apologize.  Care of magical creatures has never been my best subject,” you said, trying to make him feel better.  “But I need to know this in order to help you learn.  Do you really just not understand potions at all or do you just not pay attention?”

Newt thought for a moment and then turned a light shade of crimson.  “I guess a bit of both…?”

Hearing this, Pickett popped out of his pocket and whacked Newt’s face with his slim, green twig-like arm before ducking back down.

“Newt.” You spoke in a stern tone.

He sighed.  “Fine!  I don’t pay attention… it’s not interesting to me.”

You nodded.  “I understand, but it’s important if you want to pass your N.E.W.T.S. and graduate.  It’d be kind of sad if you fail a test that literally has your name in it.  But that’s why I’m here, to make sure you ace it.”  You glanced at the dusty old clock on the wall.  It was time for dinner.  “Well, we ought to get going to the Great Hall.  Same time tomorrow?”

Newt nodded.  “Yes.  Thank you, Y/N.  For tutoring an idiot like me.”

“Newt!  Don’t say that to yourself.  By the time N.E.W.T.S. roll around, you’ll be a pro with potions.”

You closed your books, picked them up, and went on your way to the Great Hall.

Newt stayed seated, thinking.  When the professor told me I was being assigned a tutor, I didn’t expect it to be the lovely Ravenclaw girl that sits in front of me in Charms.  I wonder if she sees me the same way… Oh, Newton, what are you thinking?  This is just charity work.


The same time for the next two weeks, you met Newt in the library to read from your books and quiz Newt’s knowledge on potions.  But today you wanted more hands-on with potions.  You asked your professor if you could use the potions for what was next in your book: amortentia.  Your professor trusted you and granted you permission as long as you or Newt didn’t drink it and got rid of the extremely powerful love potion straight after.  Of course you accepted the rules; you would never use a potion to win someone’s heart.  You would hate knowing that someone loved you only because you drugged them.

The professor informed Newt of this location change during his class.

**Time skip**

You were patiently waiting in the potions room alone, standing beside a cauldron.  Originally you were going to get there early and have all the ingredients laying out and ready to be used, but you decided to leave that to Newt.  After all, he had to learn somehow.

After five minutes, Newt came stumbling through the door, panting.

“S-so sorry I’m late,” he panted.  “There was a–uh–incident, in the forest.”

You chuckled at how cute he looked.  “No worries.  Anywho, today I’ll be teaching you about amortentia.  You know what that is, right?”

He nodded.  “An extremely powerful love potion.”

You smiled.  “Correct.  Are you familiar with the ingredients?”

“Uh… I think I know two.  Ashwinder eggs and… peppermint?”

“You’re right.”  Newt grinned when he heard this.  “The others are rose thorns, powdered moonstone, and a pearl dust.  Now, would you please get them from the shelves?”  

Being a wizard and all, Newt whipped out his wand and accio-ed all the ingredients to him which he then placed on the table in a neat, orderly line.

You clapped your hands together.  “Wonderful!”  You grabbed one of your potions books and flipped the amortentia page and lay it out for Newt to see.  “I’m not going to help you brew it.”  

Newt’s face dropped a bit.

“However, I will let you know if you’re doing something wrong that could result in the deaths of both of us.  Got it?”

“Y-yes,” Newt answered, tad worried.

“Then go ahead get started.”

Surprisingly (but not so surprisingly since you’re the best tutor ever), Newt did everything right.  The amount of each ingredient was correct, and he stirred them in the correct way, counterclockwise.  Once he was finished, the potion was shiny and steam lifted in a spiral shape.

Newt set the ladle down.  “Did I do it right?”

You nodded and smiled.  “Perfectly!”  You leaned over the cauldron and inhales it’s scent.  “Hmm… F/S, F/S, and… huh… I can’t make out that last one… What does it smell like to you?”

Newt sniffed the potion.  “Clean wool, cocoa… and…,”  His eyes got large.

You looked at Newt with concern.  “Is something wrong?  What is it?”

Newt turned his gaze to the floor.  “Your hair…,” he whispered, nearly inaudible.

You blushed.  “It smells like my hair?” you said quietly.  Your mind was racing.  MERLIN I’m something he loves!!!

“Yes…” Newt replied just as quiet as last time.

You gently put a finger under his chin and tilted it up to look you in the eyes.  “That’s okay… because my third smell was your hair.”

Newt blushed immensely.  Pickett suddenly appeared out of his pocket and squeaked.  

What happened next was something you’d never thought Newt Scamander would do in a million years.  

Newt quickly leaned in and kissed you.  It only lasted a second before he pulled away to

look at you in complete silence.  But then you grabbed his collar and pulled him in for another kiss, this one longer and full of passion.  Newt’s hands feebly found there way to your waist (aw he’s such a cute muffin) while yours tangled themselves in his light brown curls.

When you had to pull away for air, you were all smiles.

“Y/N, you probably already realized this but… I love you,” Newt said.

“You should have seen me when I was told I was going to get to tutor you… I love you too, Newt.”

Pickett popped out again and made a mad squeaking noise.

You giggled.  “You too, Pickett.”

Newt looked at the clock.  “We’re five minutes late for dinner, we should get going.  I assume tomorrow’s session will be more… interesting?”

You raised your eyebrows and laughed.  “Wow, Newt.  And I thought you were innocent!  You go ahead to the Great Hall, I need to get rid of this amortentia.”

Instead of walking out the door, Newt came around behind you and wrapped his arms around you tightly, resting his chin on your head.  “I’m not leaving without you.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet.”

“And the Slytherins said I could never get a girlfriend,” he said and kissed your head.

You leaned back into his embrace.“Well, we’ll show them, won’t we?”

“Am I allowed to carry you to the Great Hall?”

AHH I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I do!  Please let me know what you thought of it!

Three’s a Crowd (Part 14)

Member: Taehyung x Reader x Yoongi

Type: Poly Au, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Part 13. Part 14.

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Mister Leto

Jared Leto x Reader

Masterlist | Requests

Prompt: Hi, I was wondering if you could write me a more hardcore daddy kink Jared one-shot? I would love that so much

{A/N} This was fun. That is all.
Also, I know Jared was always, always in character for this film in particular, but it’s a Jared one shot, not a Joker one shot, so please bear with me!

Warnings: Hardcore daddy kink smut. More of a dream than a warning. Some cursing.

“Remember, three mocha macchiatos, one with soy, one with extra mocha, and one with an affogato shot. One mocha frap and a pink drink for Margot.”

It’s your first day at the studio for the new film Suicide Squad, and you’re interning as an assistant/runner on-site. You knew this would entail frivolous requests and long hours, but it looks good on a resume and that’s all you needed. 

“Yes, sir.” You tell the head of studio, who’s been gracious enough to help you take Starbucks orders.

“Hurry up!”

You head off, to the Starbucks on the lot for the tourists in a cafe area. You watch as people snap pictures of everything from the studio Starbucks to the large buildings that surround it. It’s your first day, and you can’t mess this up.

After a slight wait, you grab the drink trays and hightail it back to Studio B, almost tripping on yourself as you see the head of the studio speaking with Jared Leto himself. 

You heard rumors before that he didn’t speak to anyone, and that he stayed in character one-hundred percent of the time. He wasn’t completely in character yet, but he already looked the part. His hair was still brown, his brows weren’t gone yet, and he looked absolutely gorgeous. 

The nerves in your body are all sending signals to your stomach, and you inwardly become nervous. You have to go up to them, you have to interrupt their conversation with a drink. He has to notice you, at least a little. Sucking up the nerves, you pretend to be as confident as possible. He isn’t even here.. He isn’t even here, you tell yourself.

“Here’s your extra mocha macchiato, sir,” you butt in, not caring what they were talking about as you begin to carry on with your drink rounds. You hand them off to Will, Margot and the rest before realizing there are none left. A quick peek over your shoulder tells you Jared and the head of studio are still speaking and you immediately exhale through loose lips. Okay. I got this.

The clacking of your heels accompanies your smile as you stand next to them, keeping a polite distance while you await the direction of your next task. 

“Ah, there you are,” he says, “Jared, this is {Y/N}, the new runner.” 

His eyes meet yours and it’s like fire. Your entire body is begging for your permission to go limp. Quietly, you tell it to get a grip. His vascular arm extends towards you, his hand out to shake.

“I’m Jared, nice to meet you. It’s your first day and I already hear great things.”

Great things. You scream with joy internally.

His smile could kill you if you let it, but you still have work to do. Pulling yourself together, a smile graces your {F/C} lips. 

“It’s nice to meet you too, I look forward to taking orders from you,” you say.

“Oh yeah?” He smirks, eyes still on you.

A soft blush graces your {S/C} cheeks. Did he really just say that? Trying to stay professional, - and not lose your mind - you keep your composure the best you can. 

“Of course, Mr. Leto. It’s my job.”

His smirk turns into a smile now, and he nods his head with an impressed expression on his countenance. It’s like you’ve either passed a test, or failed it, and you’re unsure of which he preferred. 

They continue their conversation for just a few moments longer before Jared makes a request.

“Can I have her as my personal?”

Your eyelids flutter in shock at his strange request, the confusion written all over your features gives you away immediately.

“Sorry, let me explain. You’re the only one who’s done this job so far who’s gotten any praises from this guy,” he states, patting the head of studio on the back. As if that’s supposed to let you know that that was a good enough explanation.

The head of studio on the other hand, looked troubled, now. Concerning you, you stay quiet. 

“Jared, are you sure you want to do that, she’s so.. So new. I can’t-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll teach her a few things.”

His tone is ice cool and yet lava hot. Is this some kind of game?

He sighs before giving in, something you guessed anyone would do for Jared, and shrugs. 

“She’s all yours. Try to go easy on her. And {Y/N}, consider yourself lucky. Jared never takes to the new assistants like this.”

And with that, he trotted off to go throw more comics at Margot.

The silence that followed was deadly. It was all too awkward for you as you kept your eyes on the studio head as long as humanly possible before he disappeared. What now? I’m his personal runner. And I should be lucky.

“So,” he starts, “It’s your first day and I know you have to be confused as hell right now.” 

You nod, suddenly finding ground to stand on when you realize he understands.

“Yes, Mr. Leto, I have no idea what I did.”

“Please, call me Jared,” he smirks, gesturing for you to follow him.

You follow beside him back to his dressing room. The walk is quiet though you hoped he’d explain a little more as to what you did to deserve such an honor. He opens the door for you and leaves it cracked once he follows, sitting down in the chair across from the mirror and picking up the script.

“Make yourself comfortable, it’s gonna be a little while,” he breathes a short laugh and you relax, moving swiftly to the couch and sitting down. 

You smooth out your skirt on the couch and politely look around, waiting, you guess, for the next task he’ll give you.

He leans into the mirror, grabbing an eyeliner pen and examining his face.

“What made you take this internship?” he asked.

“Oh, um..” You have to think, completely caught off guard by his small talk. Most jobs like this lent no room for questions, or really noticing the intern at all. “I’d love to work in the entertainment industry. Warner Brothers is my favorite, and I took the opportunity the moment I heard about it.”

He glides the pen under his eye, forming a small J.

“Do you like to act?” he asks, concentrating on his face. Though he sounds distracted, he also sounds like he’s only focused on you.

“I love acting.”

“Beautiful,” he says in a new tone. A Jokery, tone.

“I’m not very good at it, but-”

“No, you,” he says next.

“Oh.. Thank you, Mr. Leto.” You say softly, your {S/C} cheeks blushing as his eyes meet yours in the mirror. His stare is like paradise, and you could get lost in it forever. The small smirk that graces his lips as applies another ‘tester’ face tattoo for the role now is electrifying. A dose of heroin that any desperate junkie would find satiating. You feel the flower between your thighs dampening and look away, shifting in your seat on the couch.

Be professional, {Y/N}, you think. This is so unprofessional. At least he isn’t like this with the other interns… No. He’s just preparing for the role.. Relax-

In two seconds, you’re pressed against the backrest of the couch and he’s leaning over top of you before you even know what happened.

“Say it again,” he breathes, his expression a hard, desperate gaze as his mouth is slightly agape. You suddenly feel like his next meal rather than a new assistant. But the way his chest is silently heaving, and his fingers are gripping the back of the couch on either side of your head, you don’t care.

“Mister Leto..” You draw out, your voice just octaves away from a signature baby-voice, “Sir..”

“Oh… Yeah..” he says, rolling his neck back. “I have to admit, the moment I saw you, and how well you take orders.. I had to have you all to myself.”

Something about that entire sentence was so satisfying to you. The mere thought of being at Jared’s beck and call was more arousing than anything you’ve experienced before.

You chest rises and falls, the tops of your breasts tightening against your {F/C} strapless top under the blazer you wore. Reluctantly, you reach a hand up to touch his chest over the tank top he wore today. A hand grips around your wrist and it’s almost as if you expected it, a smirk subconsciously playing across your lips.

He leans in closer, his lips hovering over yours before moving slowly to your cheek, then your jaw, and settling just over your ear.

“First,” he rasps, “I want you to take that jacket off for daddy.. Can you do that for me, princess?”

You nod. Holy shit, is this happening? Your hands work at the buttons on your blazer with haste, not wanting him to come to his senses and change his mind. Sliding out of the jacket now, his eyes are on your every delicate movement. He can’t wait to change that- to twist your delicacy into rough submissiveness. 

“Good girl…” He says, bringing his hand to your waist and sliding it down to your hip. His touch is possessive, almost as though he’s hoping you won’t change your mind either. Your {E/C} eyes are fixated on his face, a jawline that could cut ice, lips perfectly shaped..

His hand glides further down, causing you to anxious now as a small laugh escapes him. He can tell you’re waiting for him to ‘scratch your itch,’ and he’s enjoying every moment of your new found desperation for him, and only him. 

Very softly, you feel his finger tips on the hem of your skirt, inching it up slowly as he presses his lips against your ear. 

“Do you want me, kitten?” he asks, his voice smooth.

“Yes..” your voice trails, leaving you breathless.

“Yes what, baby girl?”

“Yes, daddy..”

“If you don’t address me the way you’re supposed to, I’ll have to punish you,” he says, quickly standing back up in front of you.

In a whirl your earth has shattered, thinking you’ve made a huge mistake and now you’re left with nothing. On another hand, you notice the hard on in his jeans, and the dampness of his skin. He was holding himself back more than you thought. This could be fun..

“And just how do you expect to do that?” you ask, trailing your fingers now to the pushed up hem of your skirt, holding his stare.

“Don’t you dare,” he warns, his tone harsh. The sound of it floors you in all the best ways possible, and you slide your fingers further up, spreading your {L/T} legs and revealing your {F/C} thong to him.

“If your fingers even get close,” he says, reaching for his belt, “I’ll have no choice.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to have a choice,” you say, your brows lifting with a slight mocking tone as you let your fingers touch the damp, lacy fabric that barely covered your folds. You have no idea how far into this he could be, but you wanted him to push you to the end of the earth.

Before you know it, you’re being pulled onto your knees with a belt looped around your neck. The faux leather is warm from his own body heat, and a smirk plays across your lips as you realize you’re eye level with his crotch. Reaching out to undo his pants, he stops you with a yank of the belt.

“I told you, I’d have to punish you, princess,” he says, staring down at you, “I meant it.”

His free hand reaches down to undo his own pants, pushing them down with his boxers, swiftly revealing his hard cock to you. Your breath hitches at the sight. Fuck.. It’s so big.. Suddenly, you’re intimidated and excited. You can feel your own sweet spot throbbing as your brain disconnects from all reason, wanting nothing more than wrap your {F/C} lips around him. You lean forward, and pulls you back with the belt slowly.

“Nah, ah, kitten. You take daddy’s cock as he gives it to you, got it?” He says, moving just a little closer to you. You can’t handle the teasing. It was bad enough you wanted him inside of you, but now to wait to even get your mouth and even hands on it? He’s insane. But you love it.

“Yes, daddy..” You say, submitting just to get a little taste.

“That’s my girl,” he says, giving into his own desire as he allows you to take his member into your mouth.

Your eyes close just for a moment in savory of his most private and sensitive part in your care. Running your tongue over it, sliding it into your mouth further and sucking on it. He quickly became your own personal piece of candy. 

He groans, causing your eyes to open again, trailing back up to him. His head is bent back and you take pleasure in knowing it’s all because of you. 

“Fuck,” he grumbles under his breath before you feel his hands roughly gripping into your hair, holding your head still as he begins to thrust into your mouth, watching you take his cock like the good girl he expected you to be. A wicked smirk lightly dances on his features as he watches you choke and moan, your throat opening and closing around him. His groaning and thrusting is cut short when he notices your hand reaching for your own sex.

Immediately, he pulls you back by the belt, causing you to fall back against the seat of the couch.

“What daddy..?” You say, wiping some of the saliva from your lips with the back of your hand with a lipstick-smeared pout. “I can’t help it, I..” Your voice is tiny and pleading while you trail off, and your messy pout unhinges him more than even he’d like to admit.

“That’s my job, darlin’,” he says sternly, lifting his brows towards your hand and un-looping the belt from your neck, clearly out of breath.

“Bend over,” he commands, and you know it’s time you face your punishment.

You do as he says, the belt’s buckle shining from his hand excites you. Slowly, you open your knees ever so slightly as you bend over the couch. There’s a glint in his eye as he walks towards you, pulling off his shirt and tossing it to the floor. You bite your lip at the sight of his muscular build, he’s amazing. He’s amazing and you can’t wait to feel every inch of him that you can pounding into your now soaked core.

When he sits down, you whine. It’s as though your entire body is tingling with arousal. His hand makes contact with the back of your thigh and it sends a chill down your spine. A smirk is evident as he notices the goosebumps forming on your soft {S/C} skin.

He slides the fabric of your skirt over your ass with ease, letting his hand linger on it before pulling it away. He admires you like a kid who wants a new toy. Snapping the belt between his hands, he gives you no time to prepare before you feel the extreme stinging where the belt makes contact. 

“Oh, yeah..!” You blurt out, the stinging continuing five more times before he decides he can’t take it anymore.

“You like it when daddy punishes you, sweetheart?” he coos mockingly, grabbing your shoulder and pushing your face against the back of the couch.

“Yes.. God, yes,” you breathe as he unzips the back of your top and lets it fall, reaching to grope one of your breasts as his lips meet the nape of your neck.

“Tell me how bad you want me,” he says, trailing rough bites from your shoulder and down your back slowly.

“I want you to fuck me as hard as you can,” you say, “Like the bad girl I am..”

“Mmm,” he groans, groping your ass now as he positions himself behind you, pulling your thong down to your knees and letting it fall around your heels.

“You are a beautiful sight..”

He slaps your ass, grasping onto it. Your back arches under his hand as he slides it up your back now.

“Don’t you wanna fuck me, Jared..?”

His hand comes down on your ass again, and he moves closer to you, allowing you to feel his warm cock against your slick entrance. Your body shudders as you try to push your sex back against him, try to feel him slide into your warmed entrance. Absolute desperation overcomes your mind and body. He pulls back just the amount that you try to take and slaps your ass again.

“Do I?” he asks as he does so, more rhetorical than anything.

“Fuck..” You groan as you feel his fingers sliding over your wetness now. He runs them back and forth carefully, teasing you in the worst way. Your throbbing clit can handle handle the faintest warm touch as rubs it in a small circle before sliding his slender finger back, dragging it down your thigh. 

“Look at that.. So fucking wet.. What do we say…?” His tone is a breathy growl while he digs his fingers into either side of your hips now. Dying to hear you beg, he can feel his own member throbbing as the head touches your entrance, teasing not only you, but himself. 

It’s painful almost, the way he touches you now. Your nerves are all shot, sensitively receptive to pleasure in everything he does. You need the ecstasy, and he needs to give it to you. 

“Please, daddy.. Please, give me that cock, I want you to make me cum..”

“Oh princess,” he starts, grabbing your hands and holding them behind your back. He works with the belt to bound your wrists together. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you to.”

With that, you feel his entire shaft pump into your dripping folds, kicking your leg open further with his foot. You can’t help but yell out in pleasure at the sudden rush of satisfaction. His thrusting is slow and deep, letting you feel everything you’ve been craving since the moment he had you pinned to the couch. 

Unable to move your hands, you bite into the back of the couch for a moment, moaning into it as your breathing grows heavier. You push back against him as much as you can, the sound of skin clapping together filling the spaces in between your moans. 

Jared reaches up and grabs hold of your {H/C} locks, yanking your head back with them as he speeds up.

“You’re such a good little girl for daddy, aren’t you? Taking this cock with no problem.”

You nod to the best of your ability and he breaks skin on your back with his nails, dragging them along your back and to your back, ending it with a swift slap on the ass.

“Mm, yes, Sir..” You moan, “You fuck so good, daddy, harder..”

You didn’t need to tell him twice as his hand grabs your wrists, pulling you up closer to him. His toned chest is damp with the sweat he’d broken from teasing himself with you. He pushes into you harder, hitting your g-spot with ease and bringing you near to tears at the pleasure he’s inflicting. His hand reaches around to grope your breasts as the other remains holding your bound hands.

Your legs grow weak under the rest of your body as his throbbing cock fills you and he holds you up. In the sultriest of manners, he brings his hand from your breasts to your neck, squeezing it as he nibbles on your ear, growling into it.

“Don’t you fucking cum without my permission, princess. You stay nice and fucking hot for daddy.”

“Mm, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out for you..” You say, your voice rugged and uneven as he continues thrusting, going deeper than he had been before. The pressure on your g-spot is indescribable, and the feeling welling up in you is dying to be released. Unable to keep quiet, your moans turn to small yells as you gasp for air.

He enjoys doing this to you thoroughly, and he wants nothing more than for you to break the rules. Seeing you such a mess at the feeling of himself inside of you is something he doesn’t want to end. His fingertips meet your swollen clit now, every circular caress eliciting waves of pleasure. It isn’t until he presses down hard and lets himself go that you catch the brink of your own orgasm.

“Oh, fuck.. Faster!” You yell, knowing you can’t keep your release away any longer as you feel your walls start pulsating fervently around his thick shaft in sweet lustful euphoria. You lower yourself onto him as much as you can, carnal instinct taking over, making taking his cock as deep and as hard as you can the only thing that matters in your world. Going weak at the knees, Jared is the only thing keeping you upright as you ride out your orgasm. 

He groans into your ear, his hand gripping onto your neck even tighter as he thrusts faster, losing himself in you as he cums.

“You’re daddy’s little slut, huh? Making me cum like this..” His breathing is as wild as the pumping he’s doing. His eyes roll back, and though you can’t see it, you know he’s wrapped up in the same bliss you are as he rasps your name like it’s the only thing he knows. 

“Oh Jared..” You groan as a few hard, deep thrusts follow, allowing you to once again savor ever inch of him just as you wanted. Your mouth is slightly agape, and your hair is tangled slightly over your face as you take pleasure in knowing you’ve satisfied him entirely.

A small gasp is all you can manage once he slows down and pulls out. Not wanting to look as spent as you feel, you take hold of the couch again, trying to gather yourself before sliding your skirt back over your thighs.

“I didn’t say I was done with you, baby girl,” you hear him say, your only reaction being to turn around with a blank expression as you zip your shirt back on. 

“You came before I told you to,” a smirk plays on his lips now as he zips and buttons his pants back up. “You broke a very important rule. And if I didn’t have to get on set to read through, I’d punish you all over again right now.”

He’s a sight to see as you let yourself truly look at him. The post-sex glow he’s got makes him look like a god, and seeing him so disheveled only makes you want him all over again as your teeth sink into your bottom lip.

“I couldn’t help it, Mr. Leto,” you say again, poking fun at your prior professionalism. “You didn’t bother making it very easy for me.”

He steps in front of you, his closeness providing you with a sense of safety now while his own eyes behold you in all your beauty. How perfect you still look though he’s happily ruined your makeup and wrinkled your clothes. You give an innocent smirk, handing over your still damp thong at the end of your finger tip to him. He takes your panties and smirks quickly before you’re met with another harsh touch- his fingers on either side of your jaw. It’s not nearly as rough as he’d just handled you, but just as full of desire. His lips meet yours with the same urgency, kissing you so completely and relentlessly that it takes your breath away.

Your eyes flutter open slowly after he breaks the kiss. A smile graces your features while the tips of your {F/C} nails brush against your lips. He replaces them with his own thumb, dragging it down your lower lip almost carefully now.

“Just wait till I get my hands on you again, {Y/N}.”

boyfriend! kang daniel

how you meet kang daniel and what kind of boyfriend he is


  • so kang daniel is your classmate, and he’s that super popular but also funny person that all the students and teachers love
  • daniel is always surrounded by a group of fangirls, which naturally results in malicious rumors about how he’s a fuckboy
  • but daniel is in your math class and he sits right in front of you
  • at first you kind of had your preconceived opinions about him like “oh shit he’s a fuckboy i ain’t talking to no fuckboy”
  • but you’ll eventually start talking to him after he forgets his pencil one day and turns around to ask you for one with a pleading smile
  • and then you guys begin your miraculous friendship which consists of lots of debates about dogs vs cats, and you realize how much of a loser he actually is??
  • like where’s mr. popular i-play-3-sports guy??
  • all he talks about is cats, and he always shows you pictures of his cat
  • you guys start texting and 90% of your texts consists of arguments 
  • like you’re a dog person but daniel is an aggressive cat advocate
  • “cats are way cuter than dogs”
  • “haha bET. who’s gonna be crying on your deathbed? not your goddamn cat bc that unloyal hoe is running off to find the next person to feed him”
  • daniel’s actually really spacey sometimes 
  • like once after class when everyone was packing up, his hands fly to his pockets and he digs through his backpack in panic
  • and you’re just like “what’s wrong??”
  • and then he wildly looks around and says “i lost my phone”
  • but he actually gave you his phone to look through his cat pic album like 5 minutes ago and totally forgot
  • so you just wave his phone in front of his face and give him the “are you an idiot or are you an idiot” look
  • and he just sheepishly laughs and scratches the back of his head in embarrassment
  • that’s when you realize how fucking cute his smile is
  • and your heart is racing a little but you give yourself a pep talk like “no i am not falling for no goddamn fuckboy”
  • but of course love never goes the way you want it to and suddenly you start noticing that you stopped paying attention in math and started daydreaming about daniel
  • and one day daniel asks you to tutor him in math since he’s failing and desperately needs to pass the next test in order to not flunk the class
  • but in this world it’s give and take so you’re like “what’s in it for me”
  • by this time daniel knows you pretty well and he’s just like “free food + starbucks every day you tutor me”
  • and you’re thinking like “shit he’s loaded. pls be my sugar daddy
  • so you start tutoring him after school at the starbucks across the street
  • you realize that daniel naturally picks things up right away but that he was just too lazy to study 
  • 50% of the time studying, other 50% arguing 
  • daniel feels super comfortable with you now and he really appreciates that you see him as just kang daniel not mr. popular
  • since you go there everyday after school, the barista knows your names and orders already 
  • and one day the barista goes “you guys are such a cute couple!”
  • and you’re too shocked to say anything but daniel immediately replies “thank you! we get that a lot” 
  • after you get your drink, you turn to him and say “wtf was that?? stop joking, you piece of shit” while punching him lightly
  • but he just laughs and you notice how his eyes crinkle and you can’t help but laugh too 
  • and then he whispers “but we could be a real thing if you want” and winks
  • you just laugh at him now bc you assume that he’s just messing around again “i hate you stfu”
  • but you miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes bc he was kind of testing the waters to see your hypothetical reaction
  • so now he’s convinced that you don’t like him and is really really disappointed ;;;
  • the next time you show up to class, he’s seems a little more distant
  • like he won’t laugh at your stupid jokes as much and you’ll be like “is something wrong,,,” and he’ll just shake his head and brush you off
  • and this continues for like the next few days so you know something is wrong
  • but you decide to leave it alone since you respect other people’s privacy (cough cough)
  • he’ll probably tell you when he’s ready right?
  • anyways at lunch you’re just chilling with your friends, minding your own business and trying to forget about daniel, but ong seongwoo comes out of nowhere and drags you to the nearest hallway 
  • and you’re like “woah what’s up”
  • and he gives you this disapproving mom look 
  • “did you really just reject daniel?”
  • “um what the fuck? where did you get this fake news from”
  • so ong has to explain to your oblivious ass that daniel likes you
  • but you’re like “um sorry no your jokes are not funny”
  • better being pessimistic than getting played amirite
  • and so he literally drags you to daniel who is sitting alone and listening to his emo playlist with his bangs over his eyes looking like a fucking member of my chemical romance or some shit bc the only girl he liked thinks he’s a joke
  • “tell her already jesus christ stop listening to that goddamn emo shit”
  • and ong leaves you two alone
  • you just end up staring at daniel wondering what kind of drugs he took today to end up like this
  • and then daniel ends up spurting some incomprehensible confession, “sorryireallylikeyouandididntknowwhattodobecauseithoughtyouhated me???”
  • he kind of turns red and gets embarrassed and really pouty 
  • but you’re just thinking of how cute he is and how much you really want to poke his cheeks
  • “wtf did kang daniel just say he likes me” never goes through your head bc you’re a boss ass bitch and everyone fucking loves you okay no need to act surprised
  • and when you don’t say anything he’s just like “i just ruined our friendship didn’t i”
  • “um sorry but what’s in it for me” is your response, and you give him a wink 
  • he immediately looks relieved and starts laughing “free hugs and cuddles and kisses from me”
  • and daniel is such a sweet boyfriend
  • like he always notices the littlest things about you and puts you before anything else
  • loves cuddling and back hugs!!!!
  • likes resting his head on the crook of your neck
  • nap time with dan is a thing with lots of cuddling
  • you wake up all the time wrapped in his arms
  • v protective,,, makes you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, always holds the umbrella for you, 
  • gets jealous sometimes and just gets all pouty before you reassure him that there’s nothing to be jealous about
  • kind of touchy
  • not afraid of pda
  • smells like a mix of cinnamon and vanilla
  • aesthetic coffee shop dates!!!
  • “reminds me of the place where i fell in love with you”
  • dogs vs cats argument is still a thing
  • “okay fine dogs are cute too, but you’re still the cutest” 
  • y’all are cute you have matching stüssy outfits (daniel’s idea)
  • blasts exo music 24/7
  • “daniel pls stop doing the kokobop challenge. we’re in public”
  • “choGIWA”
  • “chogiw—e’re breaking up”
  • “wait no i’m overdosed on your love!!”
  • biggest exo-l ever
  • that’s right my type is his favorite pick up line
  • cute mochi!!!!
  • like that pink peach thingy with the buck teeth is actually him
  • when he smiles, his buck teeth show, and it’s honestly so adorable
  • he wanted to get them fixed but you were like “um no?? how dare you even suggest that”
  • kind of insecure about his physical appearance sometimes bc of what happened in his past :(
  • but you assure him that he’s the sexiest mochi ball you’ve ever laid eyes on
  • okay but you were low key ready to get on the nearest train to busan and jump daniel’s former bullies
  • no but for real you were ready to clock some bitches 
  • “what’s their kkt babe imma bout to track them down and make them catch these fucking fists”
  • “aww you’re so cute :’)”
  • notices small things about you
  • buys ice cream for you when you’re sad,
  • knows all your favorite foods so he can bribe you make you happy :)
  • overall 10/10 best boyfriend ever 
Houses as studyblr things

The feeling of acing a test, secretly being excited for exam season, everyone sharing their notes to everyone else, studyblr challenges, your parents being proud of you, confidently giving a presentation

Doing every past paper because you know one of them’s bound to be the actual test, refusing to move on until you understand every single bit of a topic, acing a subject just because someone said you couldn’t, finding the perfect resource for what you’re studying, teachers praising you

Group studying sessions, Using doodles to understand a topic, Making friends with teachers, extra curricular activities, subjects that you genuinely like, buying new stationary even though you have too much, being proud of a friend you helped

Pretty notes, the satisfaction of seeing straight a’s on your report card, learning a language just because you feel like it, the freedom of finishing all your homework early, passing a test you thought you would fail

Attraction (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “#9 from the 76 OTP prompts thing. Can I have it be Jason?” from @shadowalex2000

Prompt: Imagine your OTP studying together, and for every question answered right, somebody has to take off a piece of clothing. 

A/N: I fucking enjoyed writing this.

*Warnings: Nudity. No sex tho.

Tags: @wynterrobin @wannabe-weasley @avengerdragoness @kazuha159 @scarletsmaximoff @insideoflit @jxsontxdds


You were stuck in a very tough situation. History was never your cup of tea. This afternoon your History teacher had to talk to you in private. Apparently, if you don’t pass the next upcoming test, you’re going to fail for the year. 

You hated studying. You just never had any motivation to study. Your teacher only gave you one option, find a tutor or fail. Simple as that.

You took matters into your own hands. The most intelligent and the most charming guy in your class. The guy you have the biggest crush on was your only hope, Jason Todd. 

What if he doesn’t even like me? What if he thinks I’m stupid? What if he says no? Your mind was racing as you walked up to him, his back facing you. He was getting ready to leave on his motorcycle. This was your only chance.

You called his name just before he revved up the engine. He cursed, wondering why would someone waste his time but when he turned and saw it was you, he gave you a warm smile, “Hey, what’s up, (y/n)?”

You gulped. Gosh, he’s so beautiful. You couldn’t believe he even knew your name, “Um…I was wondering if you could help me study for next weeks test?” You almost patted our back for not stuttering in front of him. 

His eyebrows shot up, “Yeah sure, no problem. Wanna come over to my place this weekend?”

You didn’t trust yourself to speak again, so you just nodded in response. Jason grinned and reached into his backpack for a pen and ripped out a small piece of paper. He scribbled something down and handed you the paper. 

You flinched, feeling a spark of electricity when your fingers touched, “That’s my number and my address. Let me know what time you’re coming over,” You let out a small thanks as he put his helmet on, “And by the way, (y/n), I have a…different way of studying. Just giving you a heads up.”

You couldn’t tell what he meant by that. Before you could ask, he revved up his motorcycle and sped off down the street. 


You texted Jason saying that you’ll be at his place on Saturday at 8:00 PM(20:00). You were now standing in front of his door, trying to knock but your anxiety held you back from doing so.

When you finally got the guts to knock, the door flew open. Jason was wearing a red pullover hoodie and gray sweatpants, “Hey.” He smiled, gesturing you to come inside.

You sucked in a deep breath and walked inside. You made your way to his living room, with him following behind you, and sat on his couch, placing your bag on the floor.

Jason sat across from you on his other couch. On top of his coffee table laid piles of paper. Probably his notes, quizzes, and tests. You mentally thanked the coffee table for separating the both of you. You knew you would faint if you sat closer to him, “So, when do we start?” You asked, letting out a shaking breath.

He chuckled, “I gotta lay down the rules first.” You mentally cursed. You forgot about him mentioning his different way of studying. You slowly nodded your head after realizing you didn’t let him continue.

Keep reading

Reid’s Tirade

A/N: Anon request where the reader is working on a case which involves a really sexist cop, who happens to be working with the Bureau (not an unsub). He makes some very sexist comments toward the reader, and Reid steps in and stands up for her. @coveofmemories

Warnings: Sexist bullshit?


Dammit, this case needed to be over already. You were going to have to take about a million showers to wash the metaphorical grime off your body. “I need out of here,” you said to JJ and Emily as Hotch and Morgan dealt with the lead officers. Apparently, you still worked in the dark ages when women were supposed to do nothing but walk around in big fluffy dresses, impossibly high heels and corsets that didn’t allow you to breathe, instead of modern-day America where women and men were suppose to work together equally. That would be the day. The officers couldn’t seem to control their mouths around yourself, Emily and JJ, so Hotch decided to run interference. 

“You too?” Emily said. “I feel like I need 18 showers.” She hugged her arms around her body and JJ wiped the grime off her shoulder.

“Do we still work in the 50s?” she asked. “And I feel like even 20 won’t wipe the grime off me.”

“Yea apparently,” you said. “I’m gonna go outside for a few minutes. I need some air. If you need me, send someone out to get me.”

As you walked outside, you felt like you could finally breathe. During the course of this case, the team had come across quite a few women that needed to be interviewed. Mothers and wives of victims. A couple of possible suspects. Some eyewitnesses. And these men had absolutely no finesse. They had no idea how to talk to or interrogate men, no less women, who more than likely wouldn’t respond the same way as men would. Plus, there were a few older ones that seemed to think that women didn’t belong in the work force - no less the police force. Ah, Middle America. Lovely. You couldn’t wait to get back home to DC. 

Taking a deep breath, you leaned your head back into the wall, grounding yourself and your roller-coaster of emotions. Blocking out the world tended to do that for you. Instead, you focused on your breathing, the up and down movements of your chest, the feel of the concrete at the back of your head, the sweet smell of fresh air…which was now contaminated by cigarette smoke. Goddammit. 

One of the officers, late-40s to mid-50s, had walked outside for a cigarette. The smoke wafted closer to you and you coughed, remembering your years as a child, when your grandparents would smoke pack after pack with you in the house. You’d praised the gods when they finally quit. “Sorry, little lady,” the officer said as he leaned against the wall next to you. Though he said sorry, his next puff of smoke was let out in your direction yet again. You were about to show him what a ‘little lady’ you were.

You figured being outside with one of them, or even a few of them, was better than being inside with all of them, so when another couple of officers came back from their lunch break early to smoke against the wall of the station, you stayed there, browsing your phone. But it was really hard to breathe with three cigarettes going simultaneously, so you moved a couple steps to the side the hopefully evade their next puffs. “Why don’t you go inside if the smoke is bothering you?” one of the younger ones said.

“Because we’ve been stuck inside all day and I needed some fresh air,” you replied not looking up from your phone and trying your best not to smack the arrogance out of them. It was truly difficult. Under your breath, you heard the younger one say to the older one that first came out, “This is why women don’t belong on the force, too delicate.”

Okay, now. What?

“Excuse me,” you asked disbelievingly. “What did you just say?”

He tried to backpedal, but you were so far beyond that. Four days of working with these motherfuckers and you were about to blow. “I meant nothing by it, sweetheart.” 

“First of all, I ain’t your sweetheart,” you said, realizing you were about to go off. You took note of their faces so when you went inside you could tell Hotch you wouldn’t be interacting with them anymore. “Second of all, I was out here first and if you can see that the smoke is bothering me, why the fuck do you keep blowing it in my direction? There’s a perfectly good direction, that way, that you could aim your smoke, but you continue doing it toward me.”

“Now I see why they hired you,” the third one chimed in with a laugh. This was going to be good. 

“Why is that?” I dare you. I dare you to speak. You were about to burst. You needed out of this hellhole.

“That face,” the older one said, apparently knowing what the third officer was thinking. “You’re very cute when you’re mad, still wouldn’t have made it here though, gotta have big tits to work for us, don’t you boys?”

It took you a minute to speak because you were so stunned, but by the time you were about to lose your mind, you heard someone speak from behind you. It sounded foreign to you. “Excuse me?” Spencer asked, having come outside to tell you they were about to go over the profile to hone it again. “What did you just say to her?”

“Nothing, man. Nothing,” the first officer said. “You don’t wanna get in our faces either? I really don’t understand what the Bureau is doing hiring women and boys with no muscle.” You were about to just grab Spencer’s arm, tell him to just go inside and forget about it, that they weren’t worth it, but he went off, and it was one of the most glorious things you’d ever seen. 

“Well, to start, Y/N here was hired because she as an IQ of 183, has two Ph.D.’s, one in microbiology and the other in criminology and psychology, and in addition, she’s also a double black belt in Aikido, Karate, Taekwondo, and Jujutsu. As for me, I’m also certifiably a genius with an IQ of 187, and eidetic memory and the ability to read 20,000 words a minute, while you, let’s start with you, I’ve been doing a little research, I hope you don’t mind. You,” Spencer said, pointing to the oldest one, and the one that had come out near you first, “You have two failed marriages under your belt and from what I’ve heard you had to bribe your chief to pass you for your last marksmanship test, because you failed miserably. Even I, the ‘boy with no muscle,’ passed my marksmanship test. And you,” he kept going, calling out the third one for his criminal background that was swept under the rug because the area was so desperate for officers. You were living for this. Sassy Spencer was everything. “And finally, you,” he said, landing on the middle one, the smile from tearing these men to the ground wider than the highways in DC, “you’re truly pathetic. The fact that you even made it onto the force is incredible. Failed marksmanship test, barely passed on the psychological, minor criminal background, but the one thing you did have? A father who was willing to donate to the precinct in order to get you a job. Couldn’t even make it in on your own merit. We had no issue with that,” he said, pointing between the two of you. When he caught your eye, you just smiled. “Now, we’re going to go inside because we have a profile to go over to give to the competent members of your precinct, but not before you apologize to Agent Y/N for what I just heard.” 

Spencer grabbed your hand and brought you up to him as the three officers muttered half-assed ‘sorry’ in your direction. “Good, you ready?” he asked, nodding his head at the officers.

You headed back inside, leaving the stunned officers behind. You could’ve taken care of that yourself, and he knew that, but the fact that he had been so offended on your behalf felt great. “Hey, Spence,” you said, standing up on your tiptoes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem, Y/N,” he said enveloping you in a hug. “Plus, it was cathartic for me. It was like I was standing up to the bullies that used to torment me, so thank you for letting me go off.”

As you walked into the conference room that the lead officer had given the team for the case, Hotch, along with everyone else, noticed the smiles on your faces, and the lipstick you’d left on Spencer’s cheek. “Care to tell us what happened or…?” Morgan laughed.

“Nothing, you guys,” you said. “I was just the target of some sexist bullshit from a few of our reluctantly-cooperating officers. Spencer overheard them and told them off. The lipstick was from a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.”

“Who was talking what about you, babygirl?” Morgan asked, and as they walked back in, you pointed them out. “Don’t worry, they say anything else, I’ll rough them up a little bit for you.”

“No need,” you said, looking at Spencer. “I think Reid embarrassed them to death. It was awesome.”

charm me. (m)

Pairing : Jin x Reader

Genre: Smut + Gryffindor!jin

Description: You have a test in charms tomorrow, and you know that you’re completely screwed, but luckily your boyfriend Jin, who is an expert in the subject, offers to help—however you quickly learn that he might actually be a bit too good at them. 

Word Count: 2,012 

A/N: This was requested to be a fluffy/smutty drabble, but it turned into just a short smut, I’m sorry. And hardcore HP fans please do not take me seriously for using these charms as plot devices for my sexual mind. I know it’s ridiculous, but it was just so fun to write lol. 

“I’m going to fail!” You groaned out in defeat as your head fell back against the sofa.

“You’re being a bit dramatic now don’t you think?” You turn your head to face your boyfriend Jin, quickly shooting him a nasty glare at his lack of sympathy.

“Yeah, well that’s easy for you to say. You could probably fail tomorrow’s charms test, and still be passing the class.” You whine.

“Actually I could fail the next two tests.” He chuckles, and your annoyance only grows further.

“Okay, well I’m going to the library, because sitting here with you obviously isn’t helping anything.” You quickly stand up from the couch, getting ready to leave Gryffindor’s common room, but as soon as you take a step forward, you’re immediately pulled back down.

“Jin, I need to study—” You begin, but he quickly cuts you off.

“I’m going to help you study.” He says it with a sweet smile as he begins to rub his hand against your back in comforting circles.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi!!!~ I found your blog an hour ago and just about finished reading all the shinee scenarios, and they always leave me laughing! I took my driving test today (& passed yay!) and was wondering if you could possibly do one of the Shinee members taking their driving test?

thank you and congrats baby!! omg the driving test….. when i took it apparently the four cars that were in front of me ALL failed and the first thing my father said to me when i got out of the car was like “you failed right” and i was like “whAT NO” and when i called my mom she immediately asked if i failed to and i was like ok wai you have 0 faith in me 


  • passes easily 
  • people fail the driving test??????
  • oh
  • well he passed 
  • keeps blinking when he gets his picture taken for his license 
  • staff: “are you doing this on purpose” 


  • @ administrator: r u sure you don’t want to listen to his new mixtape while they do the test
  • lowkey humming it while he drives anyways 
  • admin can’t even say anything bc he’s a good driver 
  • unconsciously puffing out his cheeks while he makes turns 
  • when filling out information for his license, for height: writes 173cm FIGHT HIM


  • rolls up his sleeves
  • checks mirrors, checks hair 
  • let’s do this 
  • makes sure that he’s going EXACTLY the speed limit bc he’s not taking any chances 
  • has to stop bc there are geese crossing and he’s like ._.
  • omfg why does he look like that in his picture why would they not tell him he wants to speak with someone 


  • clutching the driver’s manual and furiously flipping through it until right before the administrator calls him over 
  • 90 degree bows to them 
  • when it’s time for him to parallel park he keeps going in and out of the space and the admin says “whenever you’re ready you can put it in park” and he says ok but he’s wants it to be perfect so that he keeps adjusting until the admin’s like “honey we’re in the space you can park” 


  • turned on the wipers accidentally when he was trying to signal and he just froze 
  • looks at the admin like his soul left his body and they were like “it’s… okay……. it’s just one mistake it’s fine” bc omg he looked like his life was OVER
  • when he passes he smiles in his pic even tho they told him not to 

Background info: I’m from NYS and in elementary and middle school we have these standardized tests for math and English. They’re tests that ALL students take (of course depending on the grade you get a different test that is “leveled”). Passing or failing them doesn’t impact your grade (they’re mostly meant to test the school/teachers). 

Story: For the 8th grade English test, it has your usual read a passage and answer questions (multiple choice, short answer, and one essay). Well one of the stories they made us read is a short story. The story made no sense and had hard to answer questions that were based on opinion. After the test, everyone could be heard comparing answers and questioning the English teachers for the proper answers. Everyone was stumped. The story/questions were so bad that they ended up throwing them out. The story is called “The Pineapple and the Hare”. Google it. I’m sure you’ll find the story and several newspaper articles written about it. 

Link to an article about it that has the story and test questions-

Because Overwatch announced some crappy changes to nerf Mercy, I am here to introduce a New Hero Healer Concept, because we desperately need a new healer.

This is The Janitor. An omnic. Non-binary.


Originally created to be a special unit, like a police unit, they failed ceremonially to pass the tests. Disgruntled and having to find a job, they ended up working as a janitor in Overwatch. After the collpase of the organization, they work whenever they can as a cleaning person.


Very disgruntled, grumpy.


The Janitor has a heavy melee damage that allows them to quickly subdue enemies trying to eliminate them.

Left click - Heavy melee damage, uses his mop to hit his opponents. Short range weapon.

Right click - When needed, they can launch/throw the mop at their enemies from distance, effectively making this hero a short to medium range hero.

Water spray bottle - They can switch between the mop and the water spraying bottle. The spray bottle is a healing solution he frantically sprays at their team to heal them.

Ability Number 1 - THE BUCKET - Throws buckets at their team to heal them. The impact heals them but it also creates a puddle where the team can stand to heal for a limited time.

Ability Number 2 - SPEED BOOST - The Janitor aggressively mops the floor in front of them, allowing them to move faster to their team when they need their help.

Ultimate Ability - CAUTION: WET FLOOR - The Janitor begins to aggressively mop the place, making the enemies slip and fall if they come in the contact with the wet floor.


“I just cleaned that!”
“Caution: Wet floor.”
“Someone has to clean up after your mess.”
“Someone has to pay the bills.”
“Can’t you bleed somewhere else?!” after killing someone
“I am not getting enough paid for this."