party too hard

thrilling new au scenarios for your otps
  • I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them
  • I work at the animal shelter and you always come in to pet the cats when you’re sad
  • “Oh so you’re the camp counselor my little sibling keeps talking about”
  • We both have friends who party too hard and we keep running into each other in the bathroom while we hold their hair back
  • We showed up at a book club meeting but we’re the only people there who are not interested in Nicholas Sparks
  • We both signed up for an adventure cycling class and we’re the slowest people so we always end up biking together at the back
  • I work at Chuck E. Cheese and your sibling is having a huge birthday party
  • Your RA almost caught your illegal cat but I convinced them that it was just me meowing
  • I have a service dog and you’re failing this class because you just stare at it instead of taking notes
  • Our little siblings are on rival sports teams and I’ve made it my life goal to cheer louder than you
  • Someone gave me a fake phone number and it’s actually yours
Shingen x MC (NSFW)

I was supposed to write something for Nobu’s birthday, and instead finished the Shingen smut I started like two months ago. Sorry, Nobu, I promise I’ll try and get something out before the end of the month.

ALSO, this is my first attempt writing smut so keep that in mind. MC is named after my MC to make it cleaner. Also also, my beta reader is a man who has no knowledge of SLBP, so take that how you will. This is 3k words, so under the cut to save dashes and wandering eyes!


Takeda Shingen is a busy man. Which is to be expected, attempting to unify Japan isn’t exactly easy, and you definitely don’t get to have days off. Even still, everyone needs a break every now and then, and the Tiger of Kai is no exception.  

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cassiebones  asked:

How many girls do you think Alex accidentally flirted with before she realized she was gay? Like she was SO flirting with Maggie before she realized but like how often do you think that happened and she just thought she was being nice or whatever? Fucking oblivious gay nerd.

She’s six and the girl’s brothers had left her all alone in the sand as they dashed into the ocean, yelping and shoving and splashing each other as they barrel deeper into the water.

The girl looks lonely and the girl looks listless, and Alex knows the feeling.

“You don’t like the ocean?” she asks without preamble, because six year old social code permits so much more direct communication than older codes will.

The girl turns to her and sighs. Her face is pretty, even when it’s sad, and Alex bites the inside of her cheek. “I’ll just slow my brothers down,” she says, and Alex holds out an open hand.

“You won’t slow me down.”

They take each wave together, the girl never letting go of Alex’s hand, and Alex never wanting her to.

Eliza, watching from their balcony overlooking the beach, is proud that her shy little Alexandra is finally making a friend.

She’s ten and the pretty girl from homeroom has the best science fair poster in the whole lunchroom.

Except for Alex’s, of course, but Alex doesn’t mention that when she tells her that it looks great, and how did she get such clear images of a monthly progression of sunspots from a homemade pinhole camera?

Alex thinks the girl blushes, but it must be because she’s shy, or maybe she doesn’t like talking in such a crowded, bustling space. Or it’s Alex’s imagination.

Either way, she decides that the best course of action is to keep complimenting the girl, because she deserves it, and if Alex’s life as a professional ten year old nerd is any indication, the girl can use all the compliments she can get.

She’s fourteen, and her newest surf instructor is eighteen, and Alex has never been nervous before classes before, but she almost throws up each time, now, because what if she messes up, and what if her instructor decides that Alex has only been accelerated to an advanced class by luck, and she demotes her back down to surfing with the other fourteen year olds, and – 

“Nice job, Danvers!” she calls, and Alex nearly spills off her board at the way her heart leaps, at the way she says her name.

When her boyfriend picks her up after class – her instructor’s boyfriend, not Alex’s, because who would ever want to date her, anyway? – Alex stands a little bit straighter, gets her instructor to laugh a little bit louder.

“Make sure he takes you somewhere nice: you only deserve the best places, you know?” she tells her, and she thinks she’s smooth, thinks she’s putting the college boy in his place, even though she’s not quite sure why she wants to.

She’s sixteen and Vicky Donahue is always on her mind. And that’s okay – they’re best friends, and best friends are supposed to always be on each other’s minds, right? – and Vicky is nice to Kara and Vicky smells so damn good and Alex wants to be just like her and she usually loves school but god the days before the nights she gets to sleep over at Vicky’s are horribly, horribly long.

Because Vicky’s mother keeps offering to set up an air mattress in Vicky’s room, and Alex keeps telling her, “It’s alright, Mrs. Donahue, you don’t have to go out of your way, I don’t mind the tight space, honest.” Because it is a tight space, sharing Vicky’s bed, but it means that Vicky’s body is close to hers, and best friends snuggle all the time, right?

And friends play dress up, too, even in high school, right, and when Vicky goes through her parents’ closets and tosses her top off without thinking to try on something new, Alex gulps extra hard and she blushes like she’s Kara and she stammers but she obeys when Vicky tells her to come zip her up, and she nearly kisses the back of her neck because friends are affectionate with each other, right, and she’s sincere when she tells her that she’s beautiful, that she’s the prettiest girl in the whole school, the whole town, and Vicky gives her something of a strange look, and she turns her back to Alex before she changes again.

She’s nineteen and she doesn’t have much use for English class, but that girl who sits across from her makes great drawings in her notebook and Alex has to tell her, right, because who doesn’t want to be complimented?

“Hey – I really like your uh… art.”

The girl giggles. “They’re just doodles.”

“No, but they’re really good! You’re really good.”

The girl shrugs, her eyes lingering on Alex’s face a beat too long. But not long enough.

She starts doodling for Alex, nudging her and edging her notebook toward her, sometimes ripping out the sketches and gifting them to a spluttering Alex. She keeps every one of them and she takes them out during long days in the lab, and she chews on the inside of her cheek, and she fantasizes about what the girl’s boyfriend probably likes to do to her in bed, because some of the doodles are a bit sexual, so it’s only natural for the mind to wander, right?

She’s twenty-three and she’s partying way too hard, because college was too easy and grad school is easy but what’s not easy is Eliza’s voice in the back of her head, is the constant guilt of having gone off to Stanford without Kara, is the constant confusion and loneliness because she can get everything else right, but not dating, not men, and Eliza is starting to ask uncomfortable questions.

She goes home with men with clumsy hands and overeager tongues, but she dances with women with scintillating touches and vodka on their breath. She smiles and sometimes, she winks, and sometimes, she puts her hands on hips that aren’t hers, and sometimes, her blood rushes through her veins so fast she can barely breathe because her body will go home with a guy, but her mind will stay here on the dance floor.

She’s twenty-seven and it’s been too long, and that’s okay, because the DEO keeps her busy, the DEO keeps her focused. The DEO saved her life.

But she’s twenty-seven and Lucy Lane walks in and Kara isn’t wrong about how nice she smells and how smart she is and how date-able she is, but she’s the enemy because of who her father is and she’s the enemy because of who her ex-boyfriend-sort-of-still-boyfriend is and she’s the enemy because she almost sends Alex and J’onn off to Cadmus, but suddenly she’s not the enemy because she rescues them and fights for them and she throws everything on the line for them and Alex thinks of that thing she felt during her interrogation, correcting Lucy from calling her Alexandra, Lucy’s piercing eyes when she called out that Alex was lying, Lucy’s uncomfortable shifting when what’s his face was going on yet another xenophobic rant, and Alex can’t think about any of this now because now, she’s on the run, and sure, she’ll always have Lucy to thank for that, but later, later, later.

She’s twenty-eight and it’s her crime scene, dammit, not some arrogant detective’s with gorgeous eyes and gorgeous hair and a confident smirk and god, god, god, how is she that smart, how is anyone that sharp?

She’s twenty-eight and it’s innocent, it’s pool, they’re friends, and of course she’s not jealous when she says she’s got a hot date, because sure, whatever woman has a hot date with Maggie Sawyer is probably the luckiest woman in the world, but Alex is just excited to finally meet someone that can go toe-to-toe with her, that can challenge her, that can change her. And if her stomach flips a little bit when she saunters off in those jeans and that tank top to that date, it’s just because she’d hoped maybe they could go for a drink, because it’s been so long since Alex has had a friend outside of work.

She’s twenty-eight and she’s up all night, because she’s twenty-eight and she’s falling in love. In gay love. Lesbian love. 

God, god, god, how has she not seen it before?

She’s falling in love with a woman, and memories are exploding out of her like water bursting out of a dam, and she’s terrified and she’s confused and she’s never felt more… herself.

And Maggie Sawyer is the reason why.

Me? Care about a mortal? As if.  

On the care and keeping of your scientist
  • Congratulations on adopting a scientist! Regardless of their field they will require much coffee, free food, and love. Here are some field specific tips for keeping your scientist happy and healthy!
  • Biology: make sure they don't get overly invested in their model organism by reminding them about the flaws inherent in their system on a regular basis, but also make sure to join in when they criticize other models in favor of their own
  • Chemistry: don't let them do that 'just one more reaction' at 10 pm. make sure they get out of the lab and see the sun on a regular basis. try to keep them from partying too hard when they do leave the lab
  • Geology: humor their rock puns but don't let the lick the rocks (they will tell you they need to lick the rocks to identify them, but don't fall for it)
  • Astronomy: try not to let them become completely nocturnal. point out nice stars to them and look suitably impressed by their "pictures" of planets that don't look like anything to you
  • Physics: take them to the park on a regular basis to remind them that things larger than subatomic particles exist. bring a frisbee or a ball to play catch with and be impressed by their ability to calculate trajectories
  • Math: always make sure to have free batteries for their calculators and a mathmatica user guide on hand. Humor them when they tell you why space without angles is important
  • Ecology: make sure they remember to wear sunscreen and keep an eye on them in the field. Remind them to come inside and analyze their data occasionally
  • Psychology: don't mention Freud or ever call them a soft or social science, but make sure you gently remind them that social factors can impact reproducibility and try to keep them from drawing sweeping conclusions about the inherent nature of humanity
  • Neuroscience: be suitably impressed by their newest experiment and then remind them that people are not mice as often as possible
  • Computer Science: make sure they take breaks while debugging by limiting their supply of coffee. Nod and smile when they go off on indexing and arrays. Make sure they always have a rubber duck.
  • Make sure to keep your scientist away from engineers unless they have been properly socialized to interact in a translational household. The most important thing is to remember to hug your scientist on a regular basis and remind them that there is life outside the lab

this isn’t entirely good or bad.

good: fuck james comey for obvious reasons.

bad: trump gets to appoint his replacement, aka he gets to appoint the person who will oversee the investigation into his russian ties and russia’s involvement in the election.

so you can pop bottles because, after comey’s conduct during the election (which helped trump), trump’s got him out here looking like booboo the fool and his career is over. 

but don’t party too hard, because this isn’t really that great.

Waking Without You

just over 1700 words, a continuation of this. Trigger warning for unintentional drug overdose. 
[AO3]

Even hates waking up without Isak.

Since they moved in together it hadn’t really been an issue.  Sure there are the odd night when Even visits his parents and ends up staying the night, or Isak parties too hard with the boys and ends up passed out at Jonas’, but Even is lucky enough now to be able to say he wakes up almost every day tangled up with Isak.

This is why when he stirred in the middle of the night and found himself severely lacking a sleepy snugly boyfriend his lips pushed into a pout.  Was it too much to ask for to just have one night where he got to cuddle his boyfriend for the night before they had to deal with a new day’s bullshit?

His annoyance, however, flew out the window when he heard retching coming from their bathroom.  It wouldn’t have been a surprise to Even if Isak had caught some bug going around; Isak had hardly slept the past couple of weeks and his immune system was probably through the floor.  It didn’t help that he ate like shit.

Even was beginning to realise that it was a miracle Isak wasn’t sick more often.

He took a breath and rolled himself out of his duvet cocoon, ready to go comfort his boyfriend.  He grabbed a hoody off the floor and pulled it on to keep the chilly night air from biting at his sleep warm skin and crossed the flat.

“Baby?” He croaked out, too tired to be embarrassed by his sleep roughened voice. He could still hear retching when he knocked on the bathroom door.  He figured Isak hadn’t heard him and pushed the door open, unaware that his world was about to turn on its axis.

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Say Something

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Words:   1345
Requested by Anonymous:  hi! can i request a jealous!dean x reader? one where the reader is oblivious at first but then realizes it and then starts doing it on purpose and dean finally admits his feelings maybe?? something where dean says she is “his girl” thank you, you’re wonderful 💕💕💕



         You were having fun. It had been a long time since you had been able to let loose and actually have a good time. But you were actually having fun dancing at the club you had found in town. The hunt you, Sam, and Dean had been on had been quick. The three of you had decided to stay for the night. And you had found a dance club. The club wasn’t the place Sam and Dean felt comfortable, so you had gone alone. But you had found a dance partner quickly. And you were having a great night.

           When you went to get a drink of water after dancing for a while, you checked your phone and saw Dean’s message; Hey. Just making sure you’re okay.

           You sent a quick text back; I’m great! Having a lot of fun dancing. You two should have joined me.

           You put your phone back in your pocket and went back to dancing, not planning to leave any time soon.

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6

The Lords × Major Arcana | Second Part

I. The Magician wills with bolts of fire
XII. Hanged Man bows to heaven’s laws
V. Hierophant
blesses the narrow ways
XVIII. The Moon
warns of the dangerous sea
VIII. Strength of faith shuts savage jaws
XIV. Temperance blends and finds true worth

Imagine Chris bringing you breakfast at work.

“Morning, baby.” Chris mumbled into your skin as he peppered it with soft kisses. You stretched in his arms and smiled, pressing your back against his front. “I’m definitely going to miss waking up to you when I have to leave for ‘Infinity War’.”

“Aw, sweetheart.” You reached behind you and looped your arm around his neck, pressing your face against his pouty one. “I’m going to miss you too. But hey,” you reached for your phone to check the date and your remaining days together, when you saw the time; 8:14AM, you were late for work. “I gotta go!” You broke out of Chris’ grip and jumped out of bed, nearly falling face first when your feet got caught on the sheets.

“You’re going to go to a funeral home if you’re not careful,” he sat up, chuckling. “Babe, relax.” He told you; you resembled a pinball as you bounced around the room, scrambling an outfit while you brushed your teeth. “I’m sure Xenia can manage without you for a while, I mean- who’s getting flowers so early in the morning?”

“You don’t understand.” You told him as you continued to brush; it was probably hard for others to understand, but Chris had your toothbrush talk down pat. “We’ve got a huge order of table arrangements to do today. It’s for a wedding and the bride’s totally insane, if she comes in to do an impromptu check- Xenia’s going to be fucking pissed I’m not there.”

“Okay, well- you still need breakfast, so I’m going to go quickly whip something up for you to have on-the-go. What do you want?” He flipped the covers off his legs and started to get out of bed when you stopped him.

“No time,” you told him then entered the bathroom to rinse and spit. “Don’t worry about it, babe. I’m not very hungry anyway, I’ll just pick something up later on my lunch break.” You told him and closed the ensuite door behind you so you could pee then change.

While you were changing, you heard footsteps which meant Chris was doing what you told him not to anyway. You sighed with a smile because you loved how unbelievably caring your boyfriend was, that smile faltered slightly when you realized it wouldn’t be long until you had to say goodbye to him for at least nine months. God, you were going to miss that perfect specimen of a man.

You went downstairs and into the kitchen to kiss Chris goodbye and chuckled softly at his variation of “quickly whip something up for you to have on-the-go.” You’d usually just make a smoothie or a protein shake for him when he was running late, but Chris? He had to make a feast with pancakes and bacon and eggs. For a man who was about to run off and be Captain America for the last time, one would think he’d cut his normal eating habits.

“Chris, baby. I love you, but I really don’t have time for any of this,” you told him then pressed a kiss on his cheek. “I have to go, okay?” You grabbed an apple from your fridge then headed for the front door, Chris following behind you. “I’ll see you after work?” You quizzed as you cupped his clean shaved face in your hand; he nodded. “I would really like to see Cap with a beard in 'Infinity War’, you should really pitch that.”

“Maybe he does and I just shaved to throw you off,” he teased and you laughed then pecked his lips before heading for your car. “Drive safe,” he called as you climbed in. He waved until you drove out of the driveway and around the corner.
• • • • • • • •
“I can’t say I like you with Chris,” Xenia began and your eyes narrowed. “Without him, you’re always on time for work. With him, you’re almost always late.” You chuckled when you realized she was just teasing you. “What do you two get up to every night, hm?” She smirked and you laughed, feeling slight heat rise to your cheeks when you thought back to your late nights with your boyfriend.

“Like I haven’t covered for you when you go out and party a little too hard with Tris,” you playfully bit back and she chuckled. “Speaking of, congratulations.” You smiled when you saw her smile; she’d just gotten engaged to her girlfriend of six years. “I can’t wait to see how beautiful your wedding is.”

“And I can’t wait to order flowers from a shop where we don’t have to arrange them,” she said and you both laughed. “What about you and Chris?” She asked when you both settled. “Think you’re ever going to tie the knot with him?”

“I’d like to,” you nodded, smiling. “But it’s not really my choice, is it? He knows I’m in it for the long haul, if he wants the same thing then- he can propose. But I’m not going to push him, I’m good with what we have. Plus- I think he’s got enough on his plate at the moment with 'Infinity War’ coming up and his contract ending.”

“Is he planning on signing another?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “He’s said a few times that if Marvel wants him, they have him, but I personally feel he’d be happier doing something else. He loves directing and he was so happy directing 'Before We Go’, so maybe he’ll go look for something else to direct. He just wants to be known for more than Captain America, and he should- he is so talented.” You were so busy talking about Chris that you didn’t realize he’d walked into the shop and had heard everything you said; he smiled at Xenia who’d spotted him the second he walked in.

“I think you have a customer,” Xenia beckoned her head at Chris and you turned around; you immediately smiled when you saw his face. He held up a little picnic basket and you knew he’d brought breakfast to you. “Oh my God,” Xenia chuckled when you turned back to her, suppressing your excited smile with pressed lips. “You’re not even engaged yet and you can’t spend a minute apart,” she teased and you and Chris laughed. “Go, I’ve got this.”

“Thank you,” you reached over the workbench and hugged her, before gesturing for Chris to follow you into the back room. He gave Xenia a quick peck on the top of her head as he walked past, making her laugh. “Yes, fooood.” You cheered as Chris laid out the spread his made this morning on the table. “I’m so hungry.”

“I knew you were lying about being hungry,” he chuckled. “You’re always hungry.”

“True,” you grinned as you forked a piece of pancake onto your paper plate. “Mmm!”

Chris chuckled as you audibly enjoy his breakfast, there wouldn’t be a day where he wouldn’t find you adorable. His chuckles turned into laughter when you did a little dance in your chair, humming happily as you ate. God, you were such a dork, but at least you were his dork. He reached across the table and took your hand in his, pulling it to his lips. You raised an eyebrow as he kissed the back of your hand; he smiled in response.

“I thought the flowers were going to be the prettiest thing in this shop, I was very wrong.” He complimented and you chuckled, shaking your head. “You know,” he said as he released your hand, scooping himself some scrambled eggs. “This is the first time I’ve brought a girl breakfast after she skipped out on me in the morning.”

“We’re dating,” you chuckled.

“Still left me cold and alone,” he pouted then laughed when you laughed. “But hey, some girls are just worth chasing.” He shot you a wink and you smiled, kissing the air in front of you. “So, you think I’m talented, huh?” He began with a smirk, feeding himself some eggs.

“Of course I do. I’ve always thought you were talented, incredibly talented for a matter-of-fact.” Your eyes narrowed at his question; it seemed random to you until you realized he was talking about what he heard earlier. It dawned on you that he might have also heard you talking about marrying him. “Exactly when did you walk in on our conversation?”

“Around the time when my beautiful girlfriend starting complimenting me,” he told you and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “But,” he continued and you tensed, “I may have also heard said beautiful girlfriend talking about marrying me.”

“Oh,” was all you could manage.

“Hey,” he chuckled when he saw your tension; he reached over the table and placed his hand over yours. “Don’t look so worried, that’s definitely the direction we’re headed.” Your shoulders relaxed a little and you smiled at him. “I’ve just got a lot on my plate at the moment, like you said. I want to marry you, you bet your ass I’m going to marry you.” You laughed at that. “But I’m going to do it when things settle a little, okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded, smiling.

“I love you a lot more than you know, Y/N,” he told you. “You’re never going to be the one that got away,” he assured you then kissed the back of your hand again. You smiled and pressed your hand against his face, to which he turned in to and kissed your palm. “Never.”

“Likewise, Evans.”

Eiffel & Minkowski childhood friends AU is literally my favorite Wolf 359 AU ever and I’m very invested so consider: Eiffel and Minkowski going to prom together as bros

It’s their senior year, Eiffel hasn’t even met Kate yet, and Minkowski has been dating Dominik Koudelka for a while now, but he’s a year older and already at college and is too busy to come back for some dance. Minkowski pretends not to care, but Eiffel can tell that she’s secretly pretty upset so he shows up at her house one afternoon with a big box of chicken nuggets (true story: this happened to a friend of mine) with a bow on it and a poem. “Roses are red/I’m always late/I know that we’re bros/But will you be my date?” And how can Renee say no to that?

The purposefully take the most awkward and weird prom photos of all time (Their hands are completely straight, their smiles look like they’re dying, and trust me they planned this) and then a lot of fun ones (Minkowski giving Eiffel a piggyback ride, back to back finger guns, him lying facedown on the ground and her standing victoriously over him with one of her heels digging into his shoulder (That one hurt a little actually)). They go and dance to shitty music and laugh and have a great time, and afterwards they go and get Waffle House at 4am. Minkowski falls on her ass at some point and laughs it off, Eiffel parties too hard and breaks one of his shoes (another true story: happened to my friend-date). They are best friends and ignore rumors of them dating and have a great time and nothing is sad.