party addict

I hate when people refer to my drug addiction as “partying”. The party stopped long ago before the addiction began, it hasn’t been partying since the very beginning  of my drug use. I may be high, but it isn’t fun anymore, certainly no where near a damn party. I need to invade my veins with smack and my lungs with crack just to function normally enough to start my day.  My life is consumed by addiction. Partying is a part of most peoples lives at some points on weekends or late nights, addiction is such a massive part of my life that when the weekend ends and the night turns to day I’m still trapped in the brutal cycle of drug addiction, this is no fucking party, it’s a nightmare.
—  journal entry 11-13-16
Lilith Archetypes

Lilith (Black Moon) Disclaimer: The full influence of Lilith isn’t always common. We always have challenges and trials to overcome in life. There is a dark side to life. You are the ruler of your life not astrology. 

Aries Lilith tends to be influenced and hurt by coworkers, employees, males in their life, and people in their life with anger issues.

Aries Lilith is associated with becoming the warriors, fighters, bullies, gamblers, unhealthy risk-takers, killers, and a person who is overcome by their rage and acts on it brutally.

Taurus Lilith can be hurt and influenced by females in their life, the media (especially art/aesthetics), muses, or finances. They can be hurt and influenced by someone with a lot of financial power over them or someone who is a stable person in their life.

Taurus Lilith can become the seducer, hoarder, penny-pincher, usurer, a glutton, or is dishonest with materialism, money, and pleasure.

Gemini Lilith can be influenced and hurt by extended family, friends, acquaintances, siblings, students, and teachers.

Gemini Lilith is associated with turning into a thief, gossiper, unfaithful, con artist, plagiarist, liar, whistleblower, instigator, and trickster.

Cancer Lilith can be hurt and influenced by immediate family, especially the mom or grandma. Can be hurt by mentor, coach, and community leader. 

Cancer Lilith can turn into the traitor, profanator, selfish manipulator, coward, gives into vices, has terrible habits & attachments.

Leo Lilith can be hurt and influenced by lovers, their own children, bullies, and people with power or fame.

Leo Lilith can turn into the gambler, party-addict, gives into wild impulses, the abuser, the user, a pimp, and a heart-breaker.

Virgo Lilith can be influenced and hurt by coworkers, bosses, those that will take advantage of them, caretakers, and even healers.

Virgo Lilith can turn into the hustler, a lackey, suck-up, dependent/parasite, negative caretaker, and dangerous in medicine.

Libra Lilith can be influenced and hurt by lovers, friends, allies, and people they have deals with.

Libra Lilith is associated with becoming a schemer, gossiper, initiator, unjust, emotional vampire, seducer, and general corruption.

Scorpio Lilith can be influenced and hurt by truly dangerous people. Can be a victim of abuse of all kinds. Death in family associated.

Scorpio Lilith is associated with becoming a lot of bad things. Criminal activity, abuse, and self-destruction are its main themes.

Sagittarius Lilith can be influenced and hurt by false ideological and religious leaders, selfish people, con artist, reckless loved ones.

Sagittarius Lilith is associated with becoming a gambler, dangerous risk-taker, obsessed with competition, false prophet, and imposture.

Capricorn Lilith can be influenced and hurt by males, authority figures, powerful people (especially in politics), and their father.

Capricorn Lilith is associated with turning into the tyrant, cold cynic, power abuser, self-harm, blackmailer, and neglectful.

Aquarius Lilith can be influenced and harmed by groups, peer pressure, friends, and current ideals or beliefs.

Aquarius Lilith is associated with being the anarchist, traitor, trickster, deranged rebel, outcast, and discourages dreams or identity.

Pisces Lilith can be hurt and influenced by family members, friends, and lovers. Essentially anyone truly close to them.

Pisces Lilith can turn into the addict, give into criminal behavior, the cruel manipulator, have a heavy victim mindset, and have a us vs. them mentality.

MBTI - Really Misunderstood

INTJ: Cold-hearted anti-social psychopaths who are so smart they could rule the world and don’t care about you unless you can be used.

ENTJ: Triggered 101% percent of the time and will roast the f out of you. Don’t have feelings, don’t care about your feelings

ENTP: Genius with awesome ideas but is too lazy to do anything

INTP: Extremely logical and doesn’t understand the concept of ‘emotions’ also too lazy to do anything.

INFJ: Quiet masterminds that know everything about everyone but are too secretive to say anything

ENFJ: Manipulative masterminds that use you to gain what they want and don’t care about you

ENFP: Hyper-active, social butterfly, weirdo that is extremely dumb and has no deep or real thoughts

INFP: Hyper-emotional emo that takes everything personally and cries all day, every day

ISFP: Total geeks that take everything too seriously and can completely break apart because of the stupidest things

ESFP: Total party addicts that are not able to think about anything that isn’t parties and friends

ESTP: Total daredevils that are too insensitive to tolerate your feelings

ISTP: Risk-takers who just don’t give a shit about anything or anyone

ISTJ: Realists who are not able to have dreams, hopes, or not even have fun

ESTJ: Can’t think outside of the box and are not able to break rules

ESFJ: Social butterfly that is really dumb and superficial, doesn’t think about anything that isn’t friend-related

ISFJ: Shy weirdo that low-key cares about shit but is way too reserved to say anything