you’ve heard of losers club high school hcs, now get ready for
losers club shitty british secondary school hcs
oh boy here we go
- the losers club on a duke of edinburgh expedition. that is all - the uniforms. dear god the uniforms. richie and bev are constantly in detention for breaking the dress code and it’s how they became best friends. bev customised hers with badges and embroidery and rolls her skirt up way past the knees to defy sexist uniform codes. she’s always stopped in the hall by the pedantic deputy head who seems to be employed for the sole purpose of telling girls off for having short skirts. richie wears his tie way too short and always has his shirt untucked and his top two buttons undone. his blazer is also mysteriously at home 24/7 - stan and ben have this really intense, passive-aggressive war to become head boy. stan eventually gets the role and ben has to deal with being deputy - whenever someone does something stupid in lessons the whole classroom erupts with ‘waaaaayyyy!’ this is usually led by richie. - the school is in a really crappy part of town and at lunchtime the losers go to tesco to get food and sit in the park affectionately known as ‘druggy park’ - in year 8 they tried to fit eddie into a locker and that’s how he broke his arm -they all refer to each other as their surnames, and the teachers as their first names -richie once drew a dick on the board in his form room with permanent marker by accident so mike turned it into a tree -eddie’s always in the nurse’s office, to the point where they’re so close she sometimes gives him lifts to and from school - mike’s a really talented photographer and wins all the local competitions. his pieces are on display boards all over the school - in terms of clubs, richie runs the school radio and is into drama, bev runs textiles support sessions for the younger years with a few of her classmates and is also on the debate team with stan and ben, eddie is a peer mentor for students struggling with mental health issues and is also involved with art club, bill is on the rugby team as well as writing articles and short stories for the school newsletter, stan is friends with the headteacher bc he attends chess club which the headteacher runs and he also helps the younger years with maths, ben is a student library assistant and mike goes to gardening club. he’s really proud of the carrots they’re growing behind the science block. -stan and bill get the same bus. there was nowhere else for stan to sit on the first day of year 7 and that’s how he and bill became best friends - the school has wild parties in the name of charity. at one, richie got so drunk and gave eddie so many hickeys he had to be taken to the er by his mum as she thought he had a skin disease. it didn’t help that he was super hungover either so he looked like death warmed up. needless to say it’s ‘the story’ of the night and the talk of the whole school (including teachers- they join in with the students’ conversations about the parties in class) for like a month - they have a sleepover at mike’s and he unashamedly owns ‘angus, thongs and perfect snogging’. they all agree it’s a british classic -eddie went through a sherlock phase in year 10 that threatened to become a superwholock phase. it was a dark time for everyone. -the whole squad get a cheeky nando’s -richie and eddie make out in the common room and stan’s head boy office during frees. richie’s given eddie hickeys in there too. stan is disgusted when he finds out. there’s also a hidden path next to the train tracks that they go to if either of those places are occupied -bill is hailed as a god by the younger students. they say ‘yes then big bill’ and high five him when they walk past him - richie is known as the archbishop of banterbury throughout the school. what an icon - on the last day of sixth form they all hit the local ‘spoons and make the most of the 2 for £12 pitchers by buying like 10 -mike’s dark secret is that he was on an episode of ‘dick and dom in da bungalow’ once. he’s vowed to take it to the grave. richie broadcasts this to the whole school via the radio as soon as he finds out.
bonus round for things that actually happened during my experience in secondary school:
- there’s a weed scandal in like year 9. somehow a wildly untrue rumour about stan hiding weed in his locker is being spread round the school - beverly hides the clocks in her form room in the ceiling. her tutor buys a new clock. it goes in the ceiling. her tutor buys another clock. into the ceiling it goes. you get the idea. soon staplers and whiteboard pens start making their way up there - richie and eddie make a meme gallery. it’s taken down in time for open day but some of the teachers genuinely think it brightens up theirs and the students’ days - the losers are in the same teaching group in year 7. their pe class has to do chair dancing to hey big spender (it’s best not to ask) and it becomes a recurring joke for them throughout the years -richie had a house party where stan got drunk for the first time and ended up chundering in his sink the next morning