part 2 coming soon!

My True Identity (Merkel)


Based upon: Thinking your boyfriend, Merkel, is a business man. On the day of the rally, two strong, broad men break into your house to take you, planning on using you as leverage to get information from Merkel.

He told her he was a business man; finance and investments. The CIA had planted him in Germany early, so he could set up a believable life as a man sent over from America to deal with the company’s German facility. As a writer, she could work anywhere, so she did not mind when Merkel told her they needed to move to Berlin for a short while. She had not the smallest idea that he was a field agent in a game so big, she would never be able to fully comprehend it. Honestly, no on could understand it.

She laid on her side, naked, with only the thin sheets covering her body. She stared at her boyfriend as he changed into his clothes; a navy, pinstripe suit over a black turtleneck.

“I heard there’s going to be a rally today. Are you sure you need to go out? It could get ugly.” She reasoned.

He glanced up at her, continuing to button up his jacket, “I’ll be fine, darling. I’ll hardly be outside today anyways, only heading to and from work.”

She sat up and leaned against the metal headboard of their bed.

“Okay.” She replied, giving him a smile.

He walked over to her, looking over her nearly bare form in front of him; her parted lips, long lashes, prominent collarbone. He leant down and gave her a long kiss. He wished she he didn’t have to leave her. He wanted her. They needed him.

“Stay safe.” She began, pulling away from his soft lips, “You’re no super spy, so don’t act like one.” She finished, laughing lightly.

He felt ashamed. She should know. Her laugh was so innocent, so unknowing that it pained him to lie.

She planted a kiss on his sharp cheek before laying back down on the mattress.

“Be good today-” She let the sheet fall over the swell of her breasts, making him want nothing more than to take her right there and then, “and come back.”

He walked leisurely into the protest group, watching and listening for Lorraine’s cue.

The people around him marched under his command, brandishing their handcrafted signs and shouting. He was completely hidden amongst the band of Germans.

Lorraine gave him a swift nod as Percival walked beside her, unknowing of what was going to happen. He stuck two fingers into his mouth and blew, a piercing whistle erupted.

Instantly, everyone pulled out their dark grey umbrellas; opening them to shield Spyglass and the other agents.

Merkel walked with a slight smirk, it was pretty badass.

She sat wrapped up in her black silk robe adorned with a lace finish on the end of the long sleeves and hem in front of their wooden desk. She was on a “streak” with her writing as she liked to call it. The keys of the her typewriter clicked loudly as she typed out her story, a drama/romance about a young German officer falling in love with an English MI6 agent. They both had no idea who the other really was until it was too late.

She sipped on her water as she read over the passage she had just wrote:

Wilhelm held the knife against his chest, listening to the approaching foot steps just around the corner.

He shot out from behind the wall, knife at the ready before noticing the familiar raven coloured hair.

“Anna?” He breathed.


“Perfect.” She thought.

Only a few more chapters till she finished her book, My True Identity.

How relatable it was indeed.

There was two hard knocks on the door. She assumed Merkel had his hands full of food or left his key at home. So, she leapt up from the wood chair, making it creak, and hurried to the door.

Smiling wide, happy to see him, she opened the door. It was not Merkel.

“Yes?” She asked, worried that something had happened to him. She did tell him that he shouldn’t have gone out on a rally day. Her smile fell.

The pair of tall, broad men did not answer her question. Instead, they pushed through the half opened door, grabbing at the young woman.

“What are you doing?” She shrieked.

The woman sprinted across the living room, into the small kitchen and almost made it to the back door when a hand gripped her shoulder, yanking her back.

“No… no! Please stop.” She begged, fighting as hard as she possibly could against the strong man holding her.

“Just tell me what you want from me. Please, I beg you!” She cried and the man’s grip tightened.

“Ask Merkel.” The one standing in front of her said simply.

The young woman’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean? What do you want with Merkel!” She screamed.

The one holding her slapped her violently, causing tears to stream down her face. He grabbed her face harshly, tilting her chin up so her eyes could meet his.

“Does your lover not divulge his deepest secrets with you?” The man wondered. “At the moment we need leverage. Normally I’d leave the unmarried ones behind, they never care about them, but you… I think he’d pay good information for a girl like you. I sure wouldn’t let you go.”

The other man laughed and shamelessly took in her robed form. She cried out, gasping and wished she could escape them. He left to scan their home.

“What is Merkel?” She whispered.

The one holding her laughed, “The Trickster.” He sneered.

“He won’t come for me.” She declared.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“No. If he is doing all of this, whatever this is, behind my back then I was never supposed to find out. He will save them, not me.” She fought back.

“Are you quite confident in that statement?” The other man said, footsteps reaching the room.

Her mouth dropped when he came back into the kitchen, hand gripping a diamond ring.

Merkel sat on his roof top location, having met with Lorraine to construct the next diversion. He had his long legs stretched out on the chair in front of him as he took slow drags from his cigarette.

He looked over Berlin, eyes scanning over the people, cars and buildings below him. He was hidden in the most outright place to look.

His phone rang. As big and bulky as it was, it still fit inside his large jacket.

“Yes?” He answered nonchalantly.

“Ah, Merkel. We’re all glad you picked up, isn’t that right sweetheart?” His whole body stiffened at the last word.

From his end of the line, he could hear a loud slap and her laboured breaths as she gasped.

“Y/N.” He began, not quite knowing what to say. He was paralyzed with fear.

“Go ahead,” Smack. “Answer him.” He demanded of her.

“Merkel…” She whimpered, her voice shaking.

It hurt more than anything else before.

“I want you here in two hours tops, you know where. If you don’t come, the bitch is dead. That would be a shame for rather obvious reasons, you’ve had her, you must know. I however…”

His hand clenched around the phone, hearing her cry.

“Don’t you dare touch her.” He said lowly.

“Don’t give me a reason to. Two hours. Your fiancée awaits.”


part 1 of 3 (reupload)

hey i havent drawn in a while because i cant come up with jokes my drawing screen is broken and im out of shape. part 2 coming soon hopefully

and you know what i wish i named him “affirmation cat” or something but I was just thinkin about that alliteration ya know


The women are the strong sassy ones, truly. - Part Three.


Bechloe Agents AU - Part 1 / 2: Beca and the girls are members of an elite team of agents, Code Name: BELLAS. Chloe and Beca have been secretly (or not so secretly) dating. Chloe gets sent on what should’ve been a simple recon mission and gets captured. After being ordered not to interfere, Beca feels helpless until Amy convinces her to forget the rules and go save her partner and girlfriend.    

Masterlist 2.0

Since I did something wrong and I can’t seem to fix it (I can’t add new things to my masterlist), I’ve created a new masterlist.
I’m sorry for the inconvenience, this isn’t fun for me either :(

** = sexual content 
* = contains references of sexual content 

Happy reading!

Harry Styles
#1 But I bet you if they only knew part 1**, part 2**, part 3
#2 The wolves come out
#3 Listen to me for once
#4 Loaded gun **
#5 Something to talk about when we’re older**
#6 Feeling better?
#7 Faking it*
#8 You already had me with that bucket of ice cream
#9 Going under
#10 Love you, goodbye *
#11 Family Portrait
#12 Thank you part 1, part 2
#13 She said she’d never forget part 1, part 2
#14 Give in tonight **
#15 I want **
#16 Feverishly protective
#17 No other place
#18 A.M.  part 1**, part 2, part 3
#19 Taken ** (Niall smut), Taken 2 ** (Harry smut)
#20 Unfaithful part 1, part 2* part 3
#21 Well, if you don’t have anything else planned..
#22 Secret Love part 1, part 2
#23 Sparkling Green **
#24 Pillow Talk
#25 A little teasing
#26 One long car ride **
#27 Yes or No?
#28 A hard day
#29 Blowing out your candles **
#30 Not a Halloween party
#31 Let’s take a break part 1* ,part 2*
#32 Not done with you*
#33 Blind date part 1, part 2
#34 Just what I need part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6* part 7** part 8
#35 This isn’t so bad
#36 Last call**
#37 Bow ties and Blowjobs part 1** part 2**
#38 BBQ and Sangria part 1 part 2
#39 Lucky night**
#40 A warm hello*
#41 Shirts
#42 Treat you better
#43 Fireworks
#44 Say that again*
#45 Sweet creature
#46 Meet me in the hallway
#47 Kiwi*
#48 Apologies
#49 Maybe one day*
#50 Maybe I do
#51 Surprising Secret**

Louis Tomlinson
#1 There is nobody else

Calum Hood
#1 Dripping wet part 1** part 2**
#2 Aftershow
#3 00:06 AM**
#4 Tumblr**
#5 Support*
#6 Just  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7** Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18* Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22**
#7 Neighbours part 1**, part 2**
#8 Grow a pair**
#9 Pledging part 1 part 2**
#10 Jealousy **
#11 Two Worlds (Halloween theme)
#12 Marry her anyway (Calum’s POV)
#13 Second chances (Halloween theme)
#14 All I wanted part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10**, part 11*, part 12*, part 13, part 14, part 15**, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27**, part 28, part 29, part 30
#15 Halloween Horror Nights
#16 Another go **
#17 Party of the year
#18 Shabby Sandcastles part 1, part 2
#19 Bachelorettes
#20 Do you love me?
#21 Something tells me
#22 Morning

Michael Clifford
#1 Hold your breath*

Ashton Irwin
#1 S.O.S.          
                          Part 1
                          Part 2
                          Part 3
                          Part 4
                          Part 5

More to come soon!
Lots of love,
L. xox

BTS Inside Jokes

Hello ARMYs! So, I was bored and thought of making this compilation of 25 of BTS’ inside jokes! Please let me know if there are more because i’m gonna make a part 2 to this!

Hope you enjoy!

1. Jimin You Got No Jams – Kim Namjoon.

The most iconic line ever said by a BTS member and the joke that didn’t get old for years and years.

2. Swag – Min Yoongi

The amount of swag that Suga has…

3. Oh man holy shit – Jeon Jungkook

Poor Jin here though…

4. Beach? Bitch? – Kim Taehyung ft. Park Jimin

He sounded so innocent while saying it though like wtf?

5. Shit down shit down – Kim Taehyung

His “s” always sounds like “sh”

6. Excuse Me! – Park Jimin

Ahhh you all have to know this lol.

7. Jiminie Pabo – Kim Taehyung

When our Taetae went to every American he met and then you all know lol

8. Dirty Water….my faceu – Jung Hoseok ft. Park Jimin

Very dirty water Jiminie

9. Infires – Min Yoongi ft. Jeon Jungkook


10. Turn up! – Kim Taehyung

Lets go party!

11. Min Suga jjang jjang man bboong bboong – Min Yoongi

The one and only genius

12. Sexy Porn Star – Kim Taehyung

Saxophonist babe…

13. My shiteu - Park Jimin

This is honestly cute

14. Stob it! – Kim Seokjin ft. Jeon Jungkook and a laughing Park Jimin

Stop it! S-T-O-P I-T!

15. I hate snakeu – Jung Hoseok

Worst experience in my life - Jhope

16. I was born in Busan first – Park Jimin ft. Jeon Jungkook

He was born in Busan first Kook, he ate 2134 rice more than you

17. I’m God – Kim Taehyung


18. Pardon? – Jeon Jungkook ft. Kim Namjoon

No comments…

19.  One night in a strange shitty – Kim Taehyung

Again with the “sh”

20. My hearteu my hearteu – Jung Hoseok

Oh my god

21. Oh my gawd – Almost all of them? Haha


22. Do you know annyeonghaseyo? – Kim Seokjin (This very joke updated to Do you know pittam nuemul?…wonhe manhi manhi yap! By Seokjin himself)

*Inserts Jin’s windshield laughter*

23. This chain….3 dollars – Min Yoongi


24. International playboy – Jeon Jungkook

Sure Jan

And the last one
25. Ayo Hitman bang introduces hit it the second audition! - BTS

I laugh way to hard at this….

Part 2 coming up soon…..

Read Part 2 : Here


Dark Souls 3: The Legend of Treebitch (PART 1) | Bone Zone Live

the signs as Misha Collins

aries: “mama I just killed a man” Misha

taurus: “I’m screaming internally” Misha

gemini: “fuck this shit I’m out” Misha

cancer: “oh look! PUPPIES!!” Misha

leo: “I’m the motherfucking princess” Misha

virgo: “they see me posin’ they hatin’ it” Misha

libra: “do not like this shit” Misha

scorpio: “fuck the police” Misha

sagittarius: “I’m the meme lord you peasants” Misha

capricorn: “it’s not acne, it's the devil slowly eating away my vessel” Misha

aquarius: “I love my OTP this much” Misha

pisces: “nerds do it better” Misha

Superhero Daydreams

Alya: Isn’t it just the best feeling in the world to be saved by a superhero?

Nino: Personally I am a fan of you not being in a position where you NEED to be saved by a superhero. 

Alya: Don’t be such a spoilsport. I mean come on, think about it. What is more sexy than getting rescued by Paris’ heroes? 

::class thinks about it:: 

(Part 2 coming soon) 

This is not the end;

She’s never going to see him again. And he was perfect.  

Lily meets the love of her life in Tesco Extra at 10pm.  

read on ao3, part II

Happy birthday to the cutie-pie ria @gxldentrio

The first time Lily Evans meets him is at the self-checkout service at Tesco Extra. He’s got these tall, gangly legs that look like they could go on forever and (from what she can tell from the back of him anyways) an unruly bed of jet black hair.

And, if first impressions were anything to go by then he was also an absolute fool. Clumsy and, to be honest, bordering on idiotic.

Keep reading