parses

anonymous asked:

speaking of troll asexuality/aromaticism, i remember somewhere in kankris rambling with karkat in openbound, kankri mentioned something like "pale aromantic" (i think) along with a few other sexual identities tied with quadrants if i remember correctly, and i think its kinda interesting because, while i realize his rant(?) was mostly just parodying tumblr, it implies that trolls can have different sexual orientations tied to different quadrants

I was wondering if he explicitly mentioned any but I thought about going back to check and my brain was like “ur gonna go search out kankri dialogue? really? you’re gonna do that now?” and i realized what a fool i was being

it does jive with my general thoughts about beforus/non-alternia societies though where it’s a thing but the bulk of the discussion is happening within sj-minded circles

my marketing assignment is currently wayyy over the maximum word limit, but i can’t help myself bc it just feels so good to write something that not related to science. it’s like constantly eating lasagna for every meal for 3 years–and i freakin love lasagna–and then suddenly given a… oh idk, plate of stir-fried green beans with garlic mmm anyway! my point is, i’ve spent an entire page raving about the marketing genius behind disneyland solely because i’m having entirely way too much fun and i feel like a greyhound in an open field. 

ive been meaning to draw art for spiral of ants for ages but its hard to parse exactly my feelings and interpretation of it. like yeah its apparently about like. society or whatever and fitting in or whatever but thats not what the instrumental says to me and neither do the lyrics. its something very spiritual and etheral

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

  • Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities
  • Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him
  • Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)
  • Picking a guy at random to be attracted to
  • Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing
  • Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them
  • Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way
  • Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with
  • Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate
  • Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them
  • Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them
  • Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

  • Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
  • OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
  • Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
  • Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
  • Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
  • Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
  • Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
  • Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
  • Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

  • Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women
  • Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else
  • Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)
  • Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend
  • Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic
  • Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent
  • Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate
  • Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”
  • When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”
  • Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people
  • Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)
  • Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

  • Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women
  • Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media
  • Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”
  • Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men
  • Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+
  • Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.
  • Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

  • Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian
  • Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

  • Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be
  • Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy
  • Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men
  • Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

youtube

Best Check Please! vine completion I’ve found so far. by @crabbiekat

Partner and I have been rewatching The Two Towers for the first time in a long time.

anyway, one thing that has always been weird for me is Eomer giving Hasufel and Arod to random strangers, just like that.  Just giving them away, two horses, to a trio of foreign travelers he just met and had suspected of being spies.

like.  what?  This is Rohan.  Horses are the thing you value above all else, I don’t care if their riders are dead, even if their riders don’t have actual heirs somewhere to whom ownership would pass (or Rohirric inheritance law works differently and ownership has somehow defaulted to their éored’s commander, IDK), you’re still a calvary force planning to see a lot more battle in the near future, chances are high you’re going to end up with horseless riders who’ll need them.

this time I actually processed the fact, though, that Eomer believes they’ve inadvertantly killed two innocents, prisoners of the orcs, the beloved companions of these travelers.

The horses aren’t a gift.  They’re weregild.

anonymous asked:

hey, it's your Samwell bake sales anon! can we get a nhl fundraiser follow-up? I mean, if you're so inspired.

original bake sale fic

“… well, I have to say, Mark, we always say that hockey can be a violent sport but this game is downright– good lord that check was brutal!”

“Yes, Zimmermann is looking to the ref for a call on that one. He’s not going to get it, but some heated words are being exchanged.”

“You know, I think Jack might actually get into a fight this game. He usually avoids it but–”

“It doesn’t really make any sense. The Aces and the Falcs are rivals, to be sure, after facing off in four Stanley Cup finals, but they usually keep it clean. There’s a lot of respect on both sides.”

“Not this game. I thought Zimms and Parse had buried the hatchet after some tense years early on playing against each other but this is vicious.”

“And Tater has just gone after Troy Swoops again. Or no, wait, Troy has gone after Tater. They’ve already fought once but a trip to the bin does not seem to have cooled them down at all.”

“This really isn’t making any sense. Lately, social media would have us believe that these two teams are quite close. Both have been at the forefront of LGBTQ issues and are huge donors to ‘You Can Play’ and– well, now Thirdy is shoving Ethan Vanderbu– Yup, it’s another fight.”

“Thirdy and Vander this time. For the folks just tuning in, this is the third fight between Falcs and Aces this game.”

“And it’s still the first period.”

“And it’s November.”

“No reason at all for this type of animosity.”

“Oh, no, it looks like this is turning into a bit of a brawl. Lots of things being said here. In fact– let’s cut down and see if any of our mics are picking up some of what’s going on. Diana, down to you.”

“Yes, William, so from what I understand, I think the root cause of these issues is something to do with… a fundraiser?”

“There was that NFL/You can Play fundraiser just last night. Both teams were in attendance. You’re saying that’s where the problem started?”

“I think so, Mark. During the first fight between Tater and Lux, I heard something about blueberries? And here, listen in on this:”

Goddamn, Parse, you’ve got to let this go.”

“I BID $15,000 DOLLARS, ZIMMERMANN! DON’T TELL ME TO LET THIS GO!”

“You didn’t have to pay it! It was a blind auction. You didn’t have to pay anything!”

“I DIDN’T GET ANY PIE, YOU ASSHOLE. I WOULD HAVE GLADLY PAID MORE! HOW COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN TO BID OVER 20 THOUSAND DOLLARS??”

“Well, obviously, that’s how much the pie is worth, Kenny. I just bid a fair price!”

“YOU LIVE WITH HIM! YOU! FUCKING! LIVE! WITH! HIM!”

“Ah, well, let’s cut away from that shall we. Clearly, this fundraiser left some sore feelings on both sides of the teams. I– oh, yes this a brawl now. Tater and Swoops are back at it.”

“And Snowy has left his goal and– it’s a goalie fight.”

YOU KNOW I LIKE THE BLACKBERRY JAM MORE THAN YOU! I DESERVED–”

“Could you move away from the rink a bit, Diana, your mic is picking up–”

“Well, Mark, it looks like the ref is giving penalties to– everyone.”

“Yes. Everyone is going to the bin. Literally everyone on the ice.”

“It’s going to be a hell of a time fitting in there.”

“Well… this is a bit ridiculous. Entirely unprofessional really, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I actually managed to snag a peach pie at yesterday’s fundraiser and let me just say it was literally the best thing I’ve ever put in my–”

“THAT WAS YOU!?!?”

*fight breaks out in announcer’s booth*

Fandometrics in Depth: The Defenders

Early this morning, in the weeist of hours, Netflix (@netflix) released a miniseries two years in the making: The Defenders. The show features four major characters that each starred in their own Marvel (@marvelentertainment) show: Daredevil (@daredevil), Jessica Jones (@jessicajones), Luke Cage (@lukecage), and Iron Fist (@marvelsironfist). 

These four shows have had their time in the Fandometrics spotlight and the community around them is extremely dedicated. The excitement for the new series is nearly palpable. With all four characters on one show, The Defenders is set-up for success.

The Defenders, historically

The first series to debut was Daredevil on April 10, 2015, followed by Jessica Jones on November 20, 2015, Luke Cage on September 30, 2016, and Iron First on March 17, 2017.

With 16 appearances on our Television list, Daredevil has appeared on more lists than any other Defender, partially due to being the only series that had a second season run thus far. Jessica Jones has appeared eight times and Luke Cage twice. Iron Fist never made it onto a Fandometrics list. This could be attributed to the whitewashing controversy around the titular character’s casting. Y i k e s.

The stars have appeared on our Celebrities list a number of times as well. Charlie Cox and David Tennant are tied with each appearing four times. Though David Tennant is beloved for his time as the Tenth Doctor, most of his rankings took place in late 2015, correlating with the release of Jessica Jones.

Originally posted by sarcasmismy0nlydefense

The Defenders, currently

We parsed data and perused our lists from the last six months to bring you the hottest, freshest numbers. Though Iron Fist was the most searched (120% more search volume than the next highest Defenders show) and most posted about (9% more search volume), Jessica Jones wins for most reblogged (3% more reblog volume). Daredevil, which fell into the number two spot for searches, original posts, and reblogs, had the most likes; 4% more than Iron Fist.

Originally posted by akamatthewmurdock

For your consideration

If you want to take your time with the new episodes, there’s tons of stuff on Tumblr to sift through in between your binge-watching. May we suggest you start with:

And finally, don’t forget to tag your spoilers, pals.

Originally posted by stevenrogers

Las Vegas Aces Captain Kent Parson after having been on the receiving end of some dubiously motivated high sticking. Or something.

(companion Jack piece, but not intended to be the same game, let’s just pretend there’s another team out there that’s full of overly aggressive assholes. Jack and Parse can just sort out their differences by scoring more goals than eachother.)
 
Watercolor, Colored Pencil, Gouache.
(Lineart for this piece)

My other Check, Please! FanArt
My actual art blog

(background is from Parse I, Check Please year 2, by Ngozi)

yeaaaah I had to draw this.

From an universe where Kent Parson is Kate Parson, Katie instead of Kenny. Still best scorer ever, but so mad that she can’t compete on the NHL. Still Jack’s ex-friend and ex-on-again-off-again girlfriend, but it was an out affair, the media loved their hockey sweethearts. She liked Jack but hated being called Jack’s Zimmermann’s girlfriend. They played beautiful coop hockey and had huge shouting matches. As the draft approached she resented Jack more and more because she couldn’t play in the NHL, they had the biggest row ever and stopped talking for months. (She still hates herself for not being there when Jack started taking more and more pills. But it was bound to happen- no matter what Parson does in whatever universe, Jack overdoses). 

Not everything is tragic in this AU. Becaute Kate’s cat is named Kat Parson. 

‘…you named your cat… Cat?’

‘KAT. With a K.’


technical stuff: I drew over real Kent, and kept the background as is because I wanted to have the same scene. I picked Ngozi’s colors (how DOES she do that- those colors are not supposed to work together wth) and I learned a lot just by doing that.


Also, Kate leaves the EpicKegster with Lardo’s number.