I am delighted to announce that the third chapter of Off the Handle is now up on AO3 in its entirety! I do apologize for the delay. I remain, however, very grateful for everyone’s continuing interest and support. Thanks a bunch : >


I am finally clawing the ratty ol’ towel from my gnarled wizened grasp(probably through some alt-universe clone shit because otherwise, I have no idea that would work) and finally admitting that I’m not gonna finish Off the Handle, aka that one Davekat/parkour fic from like what, 2013? I’m just a different person with different priorities and different characterizations now, and I can’t get back into the right headspace to finish it up.

Thanks so much again to @roachpatrol who really graciously let me use one of her prompts for this (and who I can’t @ properly for some reason??? huh); this gave me a LOT of joy to write at a time when I was starting to feel kinda down, and I’m still really glad to have written it. thanks so much also to @8bitbear​, @aurorean​, @mustachioedoctopus​, @desolatesandwich​, @rabbitsteaparty​ who let me scream at them about this and encouraged me and previewed and edited and drew me things, my god, I am honestly truly blessed with the friends I have what the heck u guys, what the fuck.

Thanks too to everyone who read, shared, kudos’d, commented, drew yet more things, anything. I’m still so grateful and so happy to have been able to do this much and have people not only read it but actively ask for more??? Shucks, guys. 

As promised, though, I am releasing all the drafts I had for the upcoming chapters, all my planning notes, all the cut bits, and a couple smutty drabbles I was writing on the side, plus the vaguest plans for a sweeping political drama sequel i wanted to write after ‘Off the Handle’ wrapped up. They’re all in Googledocs, y’all can look at them, share them, whatever, but obviously editing is locked. Please note that most of the writing is from like. 2013. 

Chapter 4, draft 1 - decided against this one for pacing reasons

Chapter 4, draft 2 - was going to go with this one

Overall draft for the entire fic - the draft for what used to be Chapter 4 (now 5) is the one with the big blood color reveal, and is honestly mostly done, and I actually really enjoy it, so I encourage you to read it. Some other cut bits and notes are at the very end of the document

Smut 1 - literal fucking machinery - toy play goes wrong and they stop immediately? unfinished

Smut 2 - Peter the Fucking Terrible. Dave names Karkat’s tentadick. They fuck, then snuggle and snark, and Dave goes to find a snack.

Smut 3 - Bonercity - Probably the smuttiest. The sex is done. The fic isn’t necessarily, but it’s gonna stay that way.

Fluff - Excessively Proteinized Oatbars -  Dave returns from work exhausted and probably really hungry but refuses to do anything about it. Karkat contemplates cramming granola bars in his bag.

More cut bits and notes - there’s kind of a cute one-shot involving string cheese that I didn’t bother separating into a separate thing? Also just phrases and ideas that sounded nice, brief mention of John’s shitty tricking name (actually ‘Airtyme’ in this universe), mention of the industrial uses of dead grubs, and some spicy sentences in like the sexy way. Just a grab-bag of bits.

Sweeping Political Plans for the sequel - mostly involves the cult of the Sufferer, Terezi, and also Dave getting shot. It was all in my head and I typed up a summary just for you. Also so I could remember like 10 years from now, lmao. Maybe I will want to write a sweeping space political drama later, who knows! Mostly that summary, some relationship squabbles, and a few drabble paragraphs about dealing with grief after death of a loved one.

As always, I’m so so so flattered and frankly astounded that a bunch of people were interested in this lil project. If anyone needs any reference for their own parkour-related shenanigans, I PERSONALLY think my parkour tag is pretty good, but I am biased. Please also feel free to message or ask me; I still fuckin love parkour, even if I’m much more removed from practicing it now.

Thank you all so much again! This has been a sweet trip, and I’m really glad to have taken it with all of you. Stay hydrated :>

PS - This will absolutely be crossposted on AO3 once I have the time to wrangle with any HTML problems that might crop up. That is a promise 👍