park meter

(On parking in cities after growing up in reasonably dispersed places with parking lots)
“I think I was worried about someone seeing my lack of experience in the real world. Like someone was going to spot me crying, awkwardly side-hugging a parking meter after unsuccessfully parallel parking, and start singing "Another One Bites the Dust” spitefully in my direction.“ -Arden Rose, speaking straight into my soul. 😂
I highly recommend this book to anyone like me who’s been sling-shot into adulthood and now has to balance things like paying bills and going to job interviews with the overwhelming desire to do nothing but eat frosting out of a jar and watch New Girl on loop for the 40th time. Arden gets it.

Sex Worker's Guide: Tool Bag to Keep in your Car

When I go see clients or SD’s, I always carry a small bag with my bare essentials. However, I do keep a much bigger ‘tool bag’ that makes going through multiple clients easier. Generally, I keep this bag in my car or always readily packed so I can just grab it and go.

Hairbrush: Quickly run your brush through your hair 5 minutes before meeting. Well maintained hair instantly makes you look richer.

Big bottle of Body Spritz: The ones you buy at Bath and Bodyworks are great because they’re inexpensive (stock up during their bi-annual sales). I douse myself before every client/SD meet. In fact, I keep a bottle everywhere for convenience.

CONDOMS: Buy in bulk. Always have at least 10 in your “tool bag”.

Vaseline: So useful for aching feet, chapped lips, subtle lube before seeing clients, etc.

Baby wipes/Makeup wipes: Makes redoing makeup between clients that much easier. Great for freshening up down there too. Skip the Target/CVS brands. I can buy massive different scented ones for $3.99 at Marshall’s.

BAG OF COINS: Oh dear Lord, you have no idea how much easier this has made my life. As an escort, parking is a bitch to find in big cities sometimes so always have a bag of change for parking meters.

Chargers for both phones: I keep two sets of chargers for both work phone and personal phone.

An extra set of basic makeup: Just to keep in your car incase you get a last minute call. My duplicate set is filled with cheaper versions of my preferred makeup. That way, if it goes bad due to the heat from inside my car, I won’t care that much about replacing it. Think NYX or ELF.

Panties: Just keep one that’s sexier in your car incase you need it.

Neutral HEELS: I keep a pair of black, 2-3inch heels in my car incase I need to ‘sexify’ whatever outfit I’m wearing.

Earrings: I try to keep one gold and one silver set of earrings. They instantly make any outfit more feminine.

Mints: Altoids are a favorite because they’re potent. I don’t have to worry about discarding it after I’m done.

Ibuprofen: Sometimes you just need it for cramps or an especially rough encounter.

anonymous asked:

How is it that GCPD can't manage to catch Joker, Harley, Riddler, Two Face, Scarecrow, Bane, Penguin, Killer Croc, Ivy, Catwoman, Firefly, Clayface, OR ANY OF THE REST, and yet they never fail to give my car a ticket when it's parked at the meter for literally 2 extra minutes?! #OnlyInGotham #IWonderIfThoseGuysGetTicketed #Priorities

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“Alright. Now just concentrate on the exact spot you want to go. You need to clear everything else from your mind. Let’s try for the park bench over there. Are you ready?”

You let out a nervous exhale. “I think so.”

“Clear your mind… Focus… and when you’re ready, just let it happen,” Cas said.

He smiled as you shut your eyes, noting how you were nervously clenching and unclenching your fists. “Okay. Clear. Clear…” In another second you disappeared from beside him, but when you reappeared you were not by the park bench.

You looked down at your feet and groaned. “Ugggggh… Caaas!” You looked up and could see him laughing at you. His smile lit up his whole face and the way the corners of his blue eyes turned up made your heart skip a beat. He started toward you. “It’s not funny,” you said, pouting. You looked down at your saturated shoes and pants. You had landed in the middle of the park fountain, about 20 meters away from your original target of the park bench.

“You have to admit, it is a little funny,” he said, reaching you at last. The smile was still on his handsome face and you wrinkled your nose at him. He extended a hand to help you climb out.

You grasped his hand, butterflies flitting to life in your stomach. “Thanks,” you said, but you didn’t climb out–you pulled hard on his hand and tugged him in. 

Both of you fell backward into the fountain and you turned to grin at him, sitting in the water in his trench coat, tie, and dress shoes, droplets of water clinging to his cheeks and eyelashes. “Is it still funny?” you asked him.

His shock wore off and he looked at you next to him, the biggest grin he had ever seen on your face. “Funnier,” he said. He splashed some water at you, and his eyes crinkled in a smile again.

Ficlet

Based on x


Sasuke was never much of a party person. It was a myriad of disasters waiting to happen, what with the hordes of people, thundering music, and enough alcohol to kill a blue whale. What was a quiet, reserved introvert supposed to do? Have a conversation with the only interesting thing in the room, the counter? Sasuke doubted he’d even know any people at this place, it was some club that his housemates wanted to spend the rest of the night at. Sasuke was new to the city, he’d moved out to it, across the country from his small hometown, in order to start university. There weren’t any prestigious schools back home, you see, and if Sasuke had any hope of making it in the competitive world, he’d have to suck it up and figure out how to make it in the city life. Luckily, his major was psychology, where his career goal was to become an adolescent psychologist. His work and study loads were often too hefty for him to have any downtime, much less social time.

So, he had to ask himself, why had he allowed his housemates to drag him all the way out here to some club he’d never heard of? Was it because Karin kept begging him to get out and enjoy life? Was it to make Suigetsu stop teasing him for being so introverted and shut in? Or, was Sasuke hoping this single, cautious venture would get his friends off his back? The answer was, ding ding ding, all three. The chances were slim, but hey, a guy can hope, can’t he? Karin said she’d been to the club a couple of times before, though it was fairly new, and she swore up and down it was a cool place. Flashy lights, good dancing music, great drinks, and an assortment of people to mingle around. For Karin, it sounded great. For Sasuke, it sounded like a nightmare. A bunch of sweaty bodies grinding against yours, a headache from the booming music, and hardly enough air in the room for everyone to breathe, nightmare. Sasuke had gotten used to hearing that he should “leave his comfort zone” and try new things, but for god’s sake, wasn’t moving hours away from home all on his own to start a demanding new life enough? That was a pretty damn far leap out of comfort for anyone!

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