five-year-plan options

  • writing young adult novels about being gay and getting abortions
  • fronting a BNM-winning hot new band called Paris Eustace Geller 
  • living in a small italian village and doing fuck all
  • running for office and losing in order to land a prime ledge assistant job
  • writing for always sunny and developing a spinoff series about the daughter that dee gave up for adoption
  • riding a zamboni over the lake of ice in the fourth layer of the ninth circle of hell wherein judas iscariot and amy sherman-palladino are frozen
  • getting hired by lucasfilm to write canon young adult novels and just going to town on a series about biggs darklighter’s experiences as a gay teen at Tatooine High
  • hopefully finally being fluent in french and spanish
  • dating cara delevingne and getting yanked into lesbian tabloid drama
  • dating someone else nice and not getting yanked into lesbian tabloid drama
  • being mentally healthy and happy
  • probably not having a kid yet but getting ready to adopt one
  • exercising on a regular basis
  • antagonizing d*nald tr*mp
  • selling a spencer and timothy screenplay to scott rudin for a million dollars