parents' rights

Him: “Happy birthday to your brother”
Me: “That was yesterday”

We met through a mutual friend. Instantly fell hard for eachother, started dating. I was 17, he was 20. Our relationship started out great, even though we lived an hour away from eachother and neither of us had a driver’s license. 
My parents accepted him right away, offering to let him sleep over once a week, because his school was in my city. I couldn’t be happier.
After about half a year, he started changing. Wouldn’t answer my messages, even if we were having a conversation. Stood me up several times. Lied to me. Cheated on me. Chose porn over me. I didn’t find all of this out right away, but after a year of dating.

I found out that when he came home from school, which was almost at 5pm everyday, he would watch porn nonstop. Literally nonstop, from 5pm to 2am in the morning. Only stopping when he went to have dinner. Ignoring me. Ignoring his friends. And I wouldn’t have minded the porn, almost every human being watches it. But it was so much, and so often, and he completely ignored me during it. Even when we were having a conversation, he would just stop answering for fucking 8 hours at a time. It broke me, why wasn’t I enough?


He then started manipulating me, telling me he was addicted, that he couldn’t help himself… And I fell for it. Tried to help him, looking for a therapist to help him, but he refused everything. He lied to me a lot; how he had a girl friend when he was 14 and she jumped in front of a car while he was with her and killed herself. Asked his parents; it wasn’t true. He made everything up to get attention.


Or the time he told me was sick, that he was going to bed early and try to sleep it off. I told him I hoped he would get soon better, even asked him if I should come over and take care of him. “Not needed,” he said. I later found out that he wasn’t actually sick that evening; he just didn’t want to talk to me and went to a club. He went there because a girl asked him to, and he cheated on me with her that night. I didn’t find out until about a week later. He had logged in on his facebook through my phone, but forgot to log out.

I found out everything that day. I asked him, he denied everything. I told him about the facebook, he still denied everything. Luckily I had screenshots of everything, because he deleted everything. I showed him, he started getting mad at me. That I had no respect for his privacy, that I didn’t trust him. Which I did, up until that point.
I called him names. He called me names. I broke up with him. He still tried to contact me. I blocked him everywhere, except for texts and calls because I didn’t know how at the time. He started stalking me. Calling me, texting me, constantly checking my tumblr. It finally died down after a month or two, when he got a new girlfriend.

But being the bitch that I am, I warned his new girlfriend. That he is manipulative and tries to make the other person the bad guy. She told me they were already broken up; he cheated on her with the same girl he cheated on me with. She also told me that he told her that I was doing nothing with my life. I had just finished high school (high school takes 6 years where I live) and was working. He, on the other hand, was 21, barely finished studying and never had a job. She knew right then that something fishy was going on with him.

And now? It’s been 2 years since all of this. It has been quiet around him, I have a new boyfriend whom I love dearly. But he popped up again about 2 weeks ago. Checking my tumblr page everyday (I have statcounter installed). And not once a day, no, multiple times a day. And I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared.

Imagine the other members jokingly cringe when they hear S.Coups and Jeonghan call each other by cute nicknames.

THE SINGLE DADS CLUB TEASER

mark tuan + his five year old daughter, ivy

being in love with someone was so strange for mark who hadn’t ever experience anything like that before but when she popped into his life, he knew in the back of his mind that she was the love of his life. they had been together for three years before mark decided it was time to pop the question, so he proposed and she said yes, they began planning the wedding but decided to wait until after mark was finished with law school. everything was going great until he found her cheating on him, that just about broke his heart. he broke off the engagement, cursed her out, and told her to move out of his apartment. she ended up marrying the guy she cheated on mark with but not before telling mark that she was pregnant and the chance the baby was his was pretty high. after a dna test, it proved mark was the dad and she gave up all her parental rights to mark who took over as sole caretaker. from time to time it’s hard to look at ivy because she reminds him of her mother so much, but he loves his baby, she’s the only girl he needs in his life.

2

“Maya. Thank you for walking me home. I am so upset. I didn’t even know his name. He died, at work. I can’t believe I saw that”

“Of course Payton. My parents died right in front of me. I know how to handle it”

Listen.

It’s not okay to have your child be scared of you. That isn’t respect. That’s control. 

It’s not okay to have your child obey you at all times in order for you to love them. That isn’t high standards. That’s manipulation.

It’s not okay to force your child become what you wanted to become. That isn’t wanting the best for them. That’s living vicariously through them.

It’s not okay to take away your child’s basic needs as a punishment. That isn’t teaching them. That’s hindering them. 

It’s not okay to dictate your child’s sexuality or gender. That isn’t normalizing them. That’s repressing them.

It’s not okay to berate your child’s appearance or intelligence for being what you think is sub-par. That isn’t toughening them. That’s bullying them.

It’s not okay to take out your stress on your child. That isn’t parenting. That is abusing.

It’s completely okay to distance yourself from your parents. That’s not unloving. That, sometimes, is self care.

As I’ve mentioned before, I was raised in a strict Christian household. It was full of love, but it was also a house that didn’t like Ellen DeGeneres or Rosie O'Donnell simply because they were gay. A house that would turn off the tv when the lesbian episodes of Friends were on (while I ran to the tv in my room and pressed “mute” to see it). One that would roll their eyes at the idea of gay marriage. Parents that meant well and just went by what they were taught, wanting us to grow up with something to believe. I remember sobbing in high school, thinking they would absolutely kill me. Things slowly started changing when I was 16+.

My Mom was the one who asked if I was gay. She was my biggest supporter, my secret keeper, and the one I told everything to. My Dad? He went from not wanting me to come out, to protect me, to telling everyone he knows if they ask if I’m “dating any new guys” - because that’s simply who I am. In his words “why hide it? Who cares?”. My Mom came to me about Carol on her own, wanting to watch it to see the love story. When gay marriage was legalized, I called my Mom sobbing. She was sobbing with me, after yelling “YES! THANK GOD” in front of all of her friends.

After being raised to hate who I was, not even allowing it to be an option - to now, my Mother texting me just now saying “Do you have any more Human Rights Campaign stickers like you have on your car? I want one on mine”

Change is a beautiful thing. Believe in it and believe in people.

THAT’S parenting.

shoutout to george, fred, and especially ron weasley for realizing that harry was stuck in abusive and unhealthy household and, in spite of the massive trouble they knew they could get in, taking immediate steps to personally see him removed from that environment, something no adult in harry’s life did.