parents' expectations

And then there was one

I usually laugh when new parents are smug about their kid’s good eating habits. They’re all like we made our own food and we make sure to expose him/her to lots of flavor. Usually in regards to an experience with another kid in their circle, often a niece or nephew but not required, who is picky.

I’ve always made our baby food. We’ve always opened them up to new and/or bold things. Kids are kids, man. There is literally NOTHING you can do to make their eating habits make sense. Part growing tastes and part control food is always a wild card.

This post brought to you by: sweet potato roasted in butter & a sprig of rosemary only enjoyed by me and the baby.

College, I get it. You’re important and all that..but can you please stop assigning me buttloads of essays and assignments that won’t help me in my animation career and just let me finish one of my animations for once? (╥﹏╥)

DOCTOR DREAMY | PT.1

pt1 | pt2 | (ongoing)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, eventual smut + expecting parents au

word count: 4,724

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin 

description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.

cr.


“I want to have your baby,” is a particular string of words that is only considered acceptable in a certain number of situations.

Maybe between two lovers getting lost in the moment of their heightened feelings, and somehow the words just slip — that’s probably the most common occurrence of the phrase. Or maybe it’s a night out, alcohol in your system, and the words just sort of spill past your lips to the most ridiculously attractive stranger you’ve ever seen before you can even think to stop them. Even that, can still be considered at least borderline passable usage of the phrase. Hell, even the instance of a teenage girl proclaiming her love for her favorite celebrity with the heavy proclamation is still considered normal for the most part.

These, along with a few far-fetched others, were the only situations you could think of that allowed for the usage of those six words to be passable, yet, here you were, uttering that exact phrase, when you were in absolutely none of them. You weren’t getting caught up in the moment with lust-glazed eyes, you weren’t drunk and spewing nonsense at a bar to some guy, and you most certainly weren’t some star struck teenage girl staring up at her celebrity crush’s poster.

No, you were none of those things.

Instead, you were sitting across from your ex-boyfriend telling him that you wanted to have his baby… Yeah, totally passable usage of the phrase, right?

Keep reading

The Totally Awesome Hulk #15

is the MOST AMAZING COMIC I HAVE EVER READ.

Like seriously, as an Asian American, it covers basically everything I have ever dreamed of in a comic. 

Silk loves karaoke

There are cosplayers

They talk about representation.

And blatant racial stereotyping.

And microagressions.

And parental expectations of you.




And they fight over the dinner bill. Literally.

Fourth House: Your Aversion

Your 4th house ruler shows what you received excessive exposure to during childhood. As a result, you might develop an aversion to the traits of the sign on the 4th house cusp. 

The following is organized by your 4th house ruler.

Aries 4th House: emotion/thoughtless impulse; you might to be a hard, cold cap rising who is averse to loud, brash personalities

Taurus 4th House: tradition/materialism/slow movement; you might be be an aqua rising who craves freedom and revolution

Cancer 4th House: sympathy/emotional manipulation; you might be a tough, independent aries rising who refuses to be told what to do

Gemini 4th House: talking/meaningless chatter/excessive communication; you might be a pisces rising who values meaningful communication, solitude, and silence

Leo 4th House: attention/narcissism; you might be a taurus rising who prefers to blend into the background and despises bragging/braggarts [analysis of psychology below]

Virgo 4th House: criticism/judgement/boredom; gemini rising who prefers to be entertained and open-minded

Libra 4th House: compromise/emotional neglect; cancer rising who desperately tries to control environment/other people to avoid compromise

Scorpio 4th House: scrutinity/paranoia/invasion of privacy; you might be a leo rising who self-aggrandizes, prefers to keep thigns light, and hide their flaws

Sagittarius 4th House: irresponsibility; virgo rising, self-explanatory

Capricorn 4th House: expectations/isolation; libra rising, self-explanatory [analysis 2]

Aquarius 4th House: eccentric/erratic behavior; scorpio rising, prefers to adopt a stoic, mysterious persona

Pisces 4th House: delusion/self-sacrifice; sagittarius rising who tries to learn about the world at large, stay grounded in reality, and has selfiish tendencies [analysis 3]

[1] Taurus risings often have parents who smother them with attention, to the point where they feel like they’re controlled and constantly watched. Parents may also have narcistic tendencies and seek approval/fish for compliments from their children while witholding praise. Parents may be act entitled to the child’s time and attention, leaving little room for peace, solitude, and self-care. This causes the adult Taurus rising to shy away from attention-seeking (leo-like) personalities and enjoy solitude, silence, and peace. 

[2] Libra risings can have parents with harsh capricorn qualities; parents who don’t hesitate to demean their own children in the name of “pusing them further,” who withold approval and affection, who may prevent the child from spending time wirh friends, who make the child feel lonely and unworthy. As a result, Libra risings almost pathologically seek approval and acceptance to compensate for what the parents deprived them of.

[3] Sagittarius risings likely have parents who expect the child to be pliant, obedient, and self-sacrificing. The parents may ask the child to give, give, and give, until there’s nothing left. The parents themselves may be weak, selfish, and delusional, pretending to be martyrs while taking advantage of their own children. The parents might act helpless as a manipulation  tactic. As a defense, the Sagittarius detaches themselves from needy people and (”selfishly”) puts themselves first, to compensate for years of being forced to put themselves last. 

The human personality is almost entirely a cluster of defense mechanisms to cope with different types pain and toxic people.  Once you know the traits each rising sign expresses, and the sign on the 4th house cusp, it is easy to trace the behavior to the roots.

DOCTOR DREAMY | PT.2 [M]

pt1 | pt2 | (ongoing)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: smut, fluff, slight angst + expecting parents au

word count: 11,035

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin

description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.

cr. 


six years prior.

“Do you wanna have kids one day?”

Jimin tilted his head as if to ponder the idea before tugging you across the bed until you were leaning against his chest, curious eyes catching your own.  

“Sure, I mean one day. One day, far, far away,” He said, pointing his finger off into the distance jokingly.

You laughed, hand skimming along the back of his neck. “Yeah, me too.”

“Any particular reason why you’re asking?” He said as he began playing with the strands of your hair.

“I dunno,” You shrugged. “We’ve been dating for a long time, just thought that it’s something we should know about each other.”

Jimin nodded, “No, you’re right. It’s kind of something you should figure out before things get too far in the relationship… Guess we waited a bit too long, but we’re on the same page, so that’s good,” He smiled, leaning down to place a short peck against your lips.

“So that means you think that information will be put to good use one day?” You asked, quirking your brow to insinuate.

Keep reading

You might be a green witch if....

- your grimoire/book of shadows is just a seed catalog.

- you start planning your garden the way an expectant parent starts planning the nursery.

- you question whether you’re a green witch or just a gardener, but you decide that they’re close enough and it doesn’t really matter.

- while other witches hoard bottles, crystals, tarot decks, etc., you just hoard seeds.

- you talk about your plants the way obnoxious parents talk about their children: “And my little one here just graduated to a bigger pot. I’m very proud.”

- and actually you do hoard bottles, too, but they’re all full of seeds.

BTS as Roommates

Jin:

  • ”hey, Third Guy From The Left, pass the remote”
  • cleans up after you, cooks for you, nags a lot; he’s basically your second mom
  • your friends coming over to hit on him
  • which he’s totally down with; “I’m worldwide handsome, what do you expect?”
  • your parents wishing you two would get together
  • you two cuddle sometimes and it’s fine, it’s nothing romantic. just two friends chilling in each others arms,, move along ppl, nothing to see here
  • you’re his taste tester
  • so he often makes you stand by while he cooks, so he can spoon boiling hot sauce from the pot into your mouth to ask if he needs more salt
  • buys you BTS merch
  • “I better be your ultimate bias” “look at me, I’m everyone’s bias and bias wrecker” “the real visual of BTS taehyung better back off”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Suga:

  • you joke that he’s basically a ghost
  • he’s usually not there, since he’s at the studio or doing promotions, concerts, etc. and when he is there, he’s sleeping
  • whenever he’s there and actually awake you’re like “who are you? I didn’t know you lived here” “shut up and tell me what there is to eat in this house. are there any lamb skewers?”
  • like I said, he’s mostly not there but when he is, he wants to spend some time hanging with you. the boys are fine but he’s so Tired of their antics that time with you is like a breath of fresh air
  • you don’t do much, just watch tv and order take out but it suites you both just fine. he usually shit talks other celebs during that time, so you know all the inside gossip
  • “wait, he’s cheating on her with the model??” you gasp
  • “yeah, I caught them fucking backstage”
  • “well, damn :( he was my bias”

Originally posted by sugastoungetechonawlogy

J-Hope:

  • so f*cking loud omg u wonder why you still live with him
  • he’s energetic and loud (I can’t stress the loud part) for the most part, even waking you up with pans banging or singing in your ear
  • insists on “roommate bonding time” which is just an excuse to go out, get drunk & bring back f*ck buddies
  • has the LOUDEST sex
  • and walls are thin
  • but he apologizes w pizza so,, there’s perks to that
  • walks around half naked
  • flirts w your hot friends/family members but always asks you if it’s okay to make a serious move on any of them. he doesn’t want to cross any lines that would leave tension between you two
  • keeps trynna hook you up with one of the boys “except Joonie he’s gross” “he’s exactly like you” “exactly”
  • always texts & snaps you, sometimes about roommate stuff (”did I leave the stove on?” “which brand of popcorn should I pick up?” “did I leave my keys in the apartment?”) and sometimes just to chat
  • he likes to send you updates about BTS
  • he facetimed you at the BBMAS and does so just in general, so you get to see what idol life is really like … lots of sitting backstage, tired but running on adreneline, being hungry, etc

Originally posted by btsarekings

Rap Monster:

  • your place is the hangout spot. the guys always come over whether it’s to chill or hold house parties where you’re like “let’s not get twisted and ruin the furniture” but uh,, let’s just say you two aren’t getting your deposits back
  • refuses to let the guys even hit on you; “you’re too good for them. I’d rather hook you up with someone better. do you like Jackson? wait, nvm he’s worse than us”
  • totally cool w you bringing back one night stands
  • hell, he slips you protection too if you need it
  • is also very aware of you when you’re both out, that no one tries to slip you something or take advantage of you
  • takes you home if you’re too drunk
  • nurses you as you throw up but gives you hell for it the next day
  • he’s basically more like your chill cousin than a roommate

Originally posted by snowmons

Jimin: 

  • proTECT PROTECT Protect at ALL Costs
  • he denies this but he loves having you dote on him
  • it’s a nice feeling, to come back after a long day to your food, a warm home and just chill on the couch with you
  • he feels comfortable around you, talking about his worries or about his day
  • turns into Big Brother mode if you’re going to a party or if you start dating. no guy/gal even sets foot into that apartment unless they’re 100% Jimin approved
  • you’re both protective of each other, like siblings, so living together is a joy

Originally posted by bwipsul

V: 

  • super touchy,, everyone thinks you’re dating but nah man it’s just friends kissing friends, how’s that not normal?
  • will crawl into your bed quite often
  • brings home food
  • insists on late night “adventures” to the convenience store, where you just buy junk food and movies on sale
  • jungkook practically lives there
  • you keep “joking” that he needs to pay rent but it’s not a joke anymore like seriously u use up all our hot water give us money
  • he loves having ppl over, not just jungkook lol, but your friends and his other friends,, your place is usually busy and always a warm environment
  • buys you matching “friendship” outfits and bracelets that legit are just friendship stuff, no dating
  • he tells you about his crushes (even before jungkook but don’t tell him)
  • and you two stay up some nights, stalking yours and his crushes, on their social media accounts, having panic attacks when you accidentally like shit from 38 weeks ago

Originally posted by bwipsul

Jungkook:

  • watching anime 25/8
  • offering him protection when jimin stays over; “but we’re just friends” “yeah right sure. just hmu if you need them”
  • it took him a whole year to warm up to you though
  • he was so awkward and shy, often keeping his distance
  • he walked in on you pooping once and it took two months for him to walk back into the apartment (he’d been sleeping on jin’s couch lol)
  • now he farts around you
  • you two rank the fart based on sound, funniness and smell
  • *choking* *tearing up* “good one (y/n) that’s a solid 11/10″
  • will blush himself to death if you bring home someone
  • doesn’t really bring anyone over himself. he’s too uncomfortable w the fact that you’re there to try anything.
  • doing childish shit like pranks and eating each others sweets
  • “kook did u eat my green sweets?”
  • jk, with green tongue: “no, how could u accuse me??”

Originally posted by nnochu

8

The two of us have been down very similar roads. I mean, we were in the same cliques first. We both felt the same pressures, same expectations. Our parents were like children, and we both grew into kind of bad versions of ourselves way too fast. So I think you know I get it. (requested by chopras)

anonymous asked:

For the drabbles (if theyre still open!) #18, Jungkook, and either Jungsh00k Au or Fuckboy!Jungkook 😍 Whichever one you think fits it the best. Also I have to say that your writing honestly makes me so damn happy okay oml ❤️❤️ Dont push yourself, and stay healthy!

hello thank you so much for asking! i hope you like it! it’s a continuation from my previous fuckboy!jungkook drabble, hope that’s okay!

18. “Do you…well…I mean…I could give you a massage?”

WORD COUNT: 1,515

part one 

Originally posted by b4ngt4nboys

Keep reading

note: each section () is listed from newest to oldest


OT7

DRABBLES:

100 ways to say I love you
— angst | fluff

﹍﹎

☾ KIM SEOKJIN

➶ DRABBLES: 

 charm me 
— gryffindor!jin | smut 

﹍﹎

☾ MIN YOONGI

➶ SERIES:

nude wars (ft. jungkook)
— frat!yoonkook | smut | fluff 
↠ pt1 :: (ongoing)

 hidden stars (ft. jungkook)
— angst | smut | fluff 
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: pt4 :: pt5 :: + (complete)

 lab partners (ft. jimin)
— high school au | smut
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: (complete)

➶ SCENARIOS:

 makeshift chemistry 
— college au | smut 

 fantasies (ft. jimin) 
— incubi!yoonmin | smut

➶ DRABBLES:

 taste (ft. taehyung) 
— poly!taegi | smut

﹍﹎

☾ JUNG HOSEOK

➶ SERIES:

 the purge 
— purger!hoseok | angst | gore
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: pt4 :: (ongoing) 

﹍﹎

☾ KIM NAMJOON

➶ SCENARIOS:

 ships in the night 
— idol au | smut | angst | fluff

﹍﹎

☾ PARK JIMIN

➶ SERIES:

 doctor dreamy 
— expecting parents au | fluff | angst | smut  
pt1 :: pt2 :: (ongoing) 

 future hearts (ft. jungkook) 
— punk!jikook | angst | smut | fluff
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: pt4 :: pt5 :: pt6 :: (ongoing)

➶ SCENARIOS:

 control 
— smut 

lab partners (ft. yoongi)
— high school au | smut

 fantasies (ft. yoongi)
— incubi!yoonmin | smut

﹍﹎

☾ KIM TAEHYUNG

➶ SERIES:

 loving him, loving her 
— best friend au | angst | smut 
pt1 :: (ongoing) 

➶ SCENARIOS:

 the t-shirt thief 
— idol au | smut | fluff

under the cloak 
— gryffindor!taehyung | smut

➶ DRABBLES:

• taste (ft. yoongi)
— poly!taegi | smut 

﹍﹎

☾ JEON JUNGKOOK

➶ SERIES:

nude wars (ft. yoongi)
— frat!yoonkook | smut | fluff
pt1 :: (ongoing)

• future hearts (ft. jimin)
— punk!jikook | angst | smut | fluff
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: pt4 :: pt5 :: pt6 :: (ongoing) 

• I hate you, I love you 
— best friend au | angst | smut
pt1 :: pt2 :: + :: (complete)

• hidden stars (ft. yoongi)
— idol au | angst | smut | fluff 
pt1 :: pt2 :: pt3 :: pt4 :: pt5 :: + :: (complete) 

➶ SCENARIOS:

• cold coffee 
— smut

 painting the meadow’s void 
— soulmate au | fluff

➶ DRABBLES:

• slytherin!jungkook 
— harry potter au | smut

• tease 
— idol au | smut

anonymous asked:

Do you have any expecting parents/parents with a newborn aus? Thank you in advance~~

aaaa yes!! these are my favourite kind of AUs to be honest :P

  • “seriously? you want to name our child that?!? it’s like you want them to be bullied!!”
    • “says you! jeez, on what planet would that ever be a good name?”
  • listen, i’m really excited to have this baby with them but if they ask me about what colour the baby’s crib should be, i am actually going to throw myself out a window.
  • “here, hold them.”
    “you’re gonna break the world when you’re older, you don’t know it yet but you will.”
  • “it’s your turn, go on.”
    “they’re your child before four o’clock in the morning.”
    • “fine, fine, fine. rock, paper, scissors to see who has to go calm down the baby.”
      “glad that we’re dealing with this like adults.”
  • “why is it now that we have a child everyone suddenly wants to hang out with us like, we never talk to them!!”
  • i knew it was a bad idea to buy the crib from ikea
    • “I’M AN ADULT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THIS, I’VE BEEN DEFEATED BY A PIECE OF FURNITURE”
      • “…you were reading it upside down.”
  • we woke up in the middle of the night to someone knocking on the door, we opened the door to find a baby lying in a crib on our doorstep with nothing but a note that read; ‘take care of them, please.’ i guess we have a baby now???
    • “there’s a raging storm outside! we can’t just leave them out there!”
  • …were you aware that our baby could fly?
  • our newborn child has been really ill for a couple weeks and you’ve been really worried. luckily, we took them to the doctors and everything’s fine. yet despite it being nearly a week since we went to the doctors, you’ve slept beside the crib every night.
  • the obligatory “my-kid’s-better-than-yours” au
  • our kid is only a year old but they already rule the household and every single aspect of our lives
  • honestly, being married to you was bad enough but when we got a kid i was hoping you’d grow up a little, just maybe…now they’re two kids in the house
  • “i’m sorry, there’s nothing we could do.”
    “…i want to see my child.”
    “i..i highly advise against that.”
    • “correction: we want to see our child.”
      • “you would’ve grown up to be the best kid in the world…maybe it was too much to ask for.”
        “they’re so…beautiful but, the world will never know.”
        • “yeah…they’re still a mess and to be honest so am i. we … tried so hard to have a child and i don’t know if i - we - could ever go through that again.”
  • what the fuck is a baby shower?????
  • “you know, i’m kind of surprised your child isn’t seriously injured at this point with you two being their parents.”
    “haha, yeah…yet.”
  • my child is more talented than me and they’re only two years old.
  • “the scans have just come through and it’s been revealed that we were wrong. you’re not having a baby…you’re having two! congratulations!”
    • “TWINS????”
  • you’re so excited about getting our baby but, what if i let them down? being a parent is a big responsibility and i don’t know if i’m ready. but, i haven’t told you that i’m going to this support group either and i just hope this blows over before the baby arrives…
  • we left you to babysit our kid for literally three hours, what happened?!?

this is a weird post, it suddenly got very sad and angsty towards the middle…oops!!

hope these helped!

- jess

request and submissions are open!!:

send in requests!!
submit some aus of your own!!

8

Top 10 One Tree Hill relationships (as voted by my followers) #8 - Brooke and Nathan

“The thing is, the two of us have been down very similar roads. I mean, we were in the same cliques first. We both felt the same pressures, same expectations. Our parents were like children, and we both grew into kind of bad versions of ourselves way too fast. So I think you know I get it. They never really gave us a chance, did they - our parents? They didn’t know how. Look, the thing is, you made your dream happen, all right? And even though I didn’t quite get there, when it was taken away from me,I dealt with it alone. That was stupid, selfish and wrong. So if your mom tries to take your dream away from you and you feel that same pain I did I’ve sort of been there, okay? I’m gonna be kind of pissed off if you don’t come talk to me about it. Anyway, thank you for coming today. It means a lot. I know you didn’t know Quentin but it doesn’t surprise me that you’re thinking about other people when all this stuff is going on with you. That’s not bad for a girl who never had a chance.”

2

Alabama is the latest state to offer baby boxes to new parents

  • Alabama just became the third state to provide parents with baby boxes, starter kits that not only contain essentials but double as a bed for newborns.
  • New and expecting parents become eligible to receive one after taking an online quiz about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and general sleep safety as part of a statewide initiative to combat infant mortality.Baby Box Co. 

  • CEO Jennifer Clary told ABC News Alabama especially is facing a “crisis situation” when it comes to infant deaths, with 8.3 out of every 1,000 infants born in Alabama dying every year as compared to the national average of 5.8. Read more. (3/29/2017 1:10 PM)

(Unfortunately our consistent party tends to be just three people: myself, my husband, and a friend of ours. When I’m DM, I’m almost constantly caught off guard by the things my players do. Even when I go out of my way to try and come up with every possible thing they could do, they manage to do something unexpected. Here’s a few examples…)

Bear Hunting

(Story is an elven man is a mentor to a young human boy. His parents died under mysterious circumstances; everyone believes a bear killed his parents. After some investigating, it was determined that the elven man killed both parents with arrows to the heart, on account of they were going to sell their son into slavery. This follows.)

Husband: I let the elf go and go hunting.

Me: Uh, okay. What are you hunting for?

Husband: A bear.

Me: ….. *retrieves Bestiary* Ooookay then…

(He eventually succeeds in killing two bears, then brought one to the boy as ‘the one that killed his parents’. I actually, honestly expected him to kill the elf mentor…)

Overreacting

(A young boy is causing a scene in a city, harassing some guards. My players come and get the situation calmed, getting the guards to leave. It turns out that the boy’s father was a wizard who was wrongfully executed and he’s taking out his anger on the guards. Then this happens…)

Me: The boy, still distraught, casts Magic Missile at (husband). Take 2 damage.

Husband: Ow.

Friend (a ninja): I jump kick the boy in the head.

Me: ….what.

Friend: *hard stare*

Me: …. (We roll appropriately) He takes 12 nonlethal damage and is knocked unconscious.

Friend: *to my husband, in character* Shall I dispatch this miscreant for you, master?

Husband: NO.

Brothel Battle

(A slaver ship captain is in a brothel. I expected the players to just wait on the docks for him to return. Instead, they split up and end up at the brothel together. One is an Inquisitor (husband), the other is a vigilante (friend). Both are male. I fully expect both of them to enter as patrons. Instead…)

Friend: I disguise myself as a woman named ‘Rose’.

Me: …..Okay.

Husband: *shaking head*

Friend: I go inside and pretend to be looking for a job.

(We RP him approaching the Madame, and her offering rates and such things for 'Rose’. Note that the vigilante’s hero name is “The Wild Rose”, the brothel’s name is “The Blooming Rose”, and the Madame’s name is “Rosa”. The place is also heavily guarded by false patrons wearing masks. Husband comes in as a patron looking for a woman of Rose’s exact description, so he’s escorted to her room as her first patron. Then they just wait in the room for the man they suspect to be the captain to come by. After actually yanking him into the room when he turned down Rose’s advances [he preferred strong women, but Rose was dainty and childlike], they fight, and win. However, an alert goes up. I expect the pair to jump out the window. Instead…)

Husband: I run out of the room and around the corner, duck into another room, and cast Invisibility on myself.

Friend: I scream and pretend (Inquisitor) killed my customer.

(They proceeded to escape and even took the captain’s boots before they left, both of them invisible at this point.)

A Whole New Use for Bear Traps

(Same as the previous game, the two are sneaking around the house of a rich family and spot bear traps in the garden. I expect them to either move the traps, spring them, or ignore them. Instead…)

Friend: I PICK UP THE BEAR TRAPS.

Me: ….Okay, you do so.

(Few moments later, after a successful perception check to notice footsteps nearby…)

Me: You hear someone sneaking around.

Friend: …..I HOLD THE BEAR TRAPS IN MY HANDS AND READY AN ATTACK.

Me: …..WHY.

(It was an ally of theirs sneaking around, but he barely managed to NOT get her head stuck in a bear trap. Later on he used them again on a guard. Rather than roll damage, I just accepted it as the guard died instantly. For his sake…)