parents and punishments

anonymous asked:

I'd love if you made an in-depth post about all the deities you believe in, and why you believe in Jesus and God, etc, I think it'd be very interesting as I trust literally anything u say lol.

I won’t do a post but I will just write it here.

I believe in any benevolent creation deity. I cannot imagine a deity that creates something only to harm it, so I don’t take a lot of stock in the fact that God punishes people. Like, I don’t understand how someone can create a deity that punishes. When a parent gives extreme punishment to children, Child Protective Services is called and the children are removed from that parent. A truly loving creatrix would never inflict deep lasting harm on their creation, just as a parent would never inflict deep lasting harm on a child.

I believe in Jesus because there is a LOT of historical evidence that he existed. I mean, he existed, period. So when I say I believe in Jesus, I don’t mean that I follow his every word and read his wisdom, I say it in that I know he was real and he spread a really beautiful message that was unique in that day, age, and region and that he benefited the world.

I don’t believe in Hell or Satan, because again, I don’t understand how a creating god can punish what they made.

I mainly worship the Irish gods Lugh, Cernnunos, Brigid, and Manannan Mac Lir, and of course the Dagda. I really love to read about ancient pantheons and see how they all overlap with each other. I love Manannan Mac Lir because I feel a deep connection with the ocean and just water in general. Brigid helps remind me to keep pure and is what I envision when I think of Goddess (besides Beyonce), worshipping Cernnunos is just fun in genera (and also when I envision when I think of God, not the monotheistic creation God, but just a male entity of all power)l. I see Lugh as my patron god because he is swaggy and I was born during Lughnassadh. I find a lot of answers and comfort whenever I pray to him.

I was raised Wiccan, and I was made to explore other religions while growing up. I went to Sunday School and eventually quit because it was so boring and not what I felt religion should really be. I deeply explored Judaism for a few good months when I was 13 & 14, and honestly if I had to pick a monotheistic religion to be a part of, it would definitely be Judaism. I start to split from Wicca after my Mom died (and I mean, she was a priestess, so I could have never told her to her face that I didn’t want to be Wiccan) and after I started studying it a lot more and I really disagreed with a few concepts, mostly that all Gods were just one God and all Goddesses were just one Goddess. It led me to Druidry, which I felt connected deeply with my Irish heritage and contained everything I thought paganism should be. I follow the teachings and wisdom of the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids.

I’m really sick of hearing “children need to be disciplined” and abusers passing up abuse for discipline because for who exactly do children need to be disciplined? what is a disciplined child? one who does what they’re told, that’s a child who doesn’t make noise, doesn’t complain or ask for anything, does things according to rules adults set for them, doesn’t require anything except what adults give them, basically, not a human being, not someone who is free, not someone with human rights, not someone who has the right to do what they want or to say what they need. Disciplining is taking freedom away in return for nothing, discipline is not for the sake or benefit or children but for their caretakers, so they don’t have to deal or spend any time or energy on the said children, and even have children do shit for them. 

For children it’s good to try out everything, to ask for everything, to make a mess, to make noise, to enjoy themselves, to test all their limits and figure out what makes them feel good and what doesn’t, to figure out which kind of work they enjoy, eating when they feel like it, sleeping when they feel like it. Taking this away will never ever benefit the child, it will only benefit the caretakers. It’s not the child’s fault that this society isn’t safe or accepting for child’s development, that their freedom means nothing if they can instead be tucked away and forced to be silent and get shit done if they wanna live. Children aren’t here to please everyone else or to get stuff done, and forcing them to be “disciplined” by punishments will absolutely not lead them to a balanced and productive adult life, it will make them feel guilty, scared, anxious and ashamed if they don’t manage to fulfill impossible schedules and thousands of chores. 

A child can benefit from fair and structured environment where they know what the rules are and what they’re allowed to do, what the rewards are, and what are the consequences if they do wrong, provided they actually have enough freedom to explore and do what they want and the rules don’t change continually based on adult’s moods. But only thing that is truly wrong is hurting others, so they should not suffer consequences for anything but that. But somehow that’s one thing everyone easily gets away with, and they’re instead getting punished whenever adults perceive them as a nuisance or just wanna lash out and find an excuse for it. So whatever is being passed up as “good for the child” is anything but. Before you claim any abuse is “discipline”, remember that they’re in most cases one and the same thing, and never benefit the child.

It seems to me that a lot of people think that “good parenting” is just the default behavior for parents, and that unhealthy/toxic/abusive parents make an active, conscious choice to deviate from the “good parent” norm.

From my observations, the opposite of that is true. Many of the behaviors that are widely praised and supported are unhelpful at their best and outright harmful at their worst. Think of the support for parents who punish their children in ways that are harmful (destruction of the child’s property, humiliation, violence) and parents who micromanage and overtax their children (a half-dozen extracurriculars, meticulously managed schedules, “parent monitored” social media for teenagers who are nearing legal adulthood), just to name a few examples. Even though social attitudes are in the process of evolving, current social attitudes lead to a lot of unhealthy or downright abusive behaviors being seen as a normal part of parenting.

Good parents are the ones who choose to actively stray from the cultural mandates and to seek cooperative approaches to parenting rather than authoritarian ones.

P.S.A

It’s not normal to be afraid of your parents. For any reason.

It’s not normal to feel like you have to tiptoe around your parents because of a reaction they might have to what you’re doing, especially if what you’re doing isn’t even wrong.

It’s not normal to feel unsafe in your own house. For any reason, in any way.

It’s not normal for your parents to scream at you or call you names and cuss at you, even if you’re arguing with them.

It’s not normal for your parents to escalate things and punish you unfairly because they can.

It’s not normal for parents to invade your privacy in any way like taking your door away, demanding passwords / reading private messages / stalking your facebook or tumblr, ect.

It’s not normal for your parents to constantly belittle you, mock you, or bully you in any way.

“Because I said so” as a reason to make you do something that makes you uncomfortable, ect. almost daily is not normal.

It’s not normal for your parents to brush you off if you say something is wrong or is upsetting you.

It’s not normal for your parents to isolate you as punishment.

It’s not normal for your parents to deny you a therapist, counselor, doctor, meds or anything regarding your mental or physical health for any reason. 

It’s not normal for your parents to tell you to “suck it up” or say “that’s how the real world is” if you’re having issues or have a disability / illness that makes things difficult for you.

It’s not normal for parents to constantly shoot you down, especially if they’re trying to be nice about it and say “It’s for your own good” or “I’m just trying to help”

None of this is normal for parents to do. This is abuse.
If you feel, for any reason, that you might be being abused, if you think that something is wrong with the way your parents treat you, listen to your gut. Look into abuse. Don’t ignore it. Don’t tell yourself that you’re overreacting. Listen to yourself, because something is probably wrong.
If you’re being abused by your parents, i’m sorry. I know how you feel. But remember, you are wonderful. You didn’t make your parents abuse you. None of this is your fault.
Take care of yourself. Please. You’ll be out of there soon.

why do parents punish children for not doing well in school and take away their phones/etc instead of offering to help them or get them help like literally your kid might have a learning disability and you’re not helping by causing them even more distress by taking away something they love until they magically improve

La Chancla


No matter how fast we ran

we never escaped

the chancla

in the yarda,

en la casa,

por la manaña,

por la noche,

we never escaped

the “vas a ver” swing

or the “para que se te quite”

sting.


Even en la madrugada

con lagañas en las pestañas

we never outran the sonido

of the cachetada

from the leather

against butt cheek.


We never escaped it

because as fast as we ran

the chancla would soar

especially

on Domingo

cuando no limpiamos

well enough

cuando peliamos con primos

y hermanas

cuando quebramos los platos

en la cosina.


“Tremendo!”

“Tremenda!”

“Como friegan!” blasted like a siren

on both lados of la frontera

from Los Angeles

to Latino America

la chancla always crossed

sin documentos

an apestoso tool

of chingadasos y pain

por andar de traviesos

con friends.


When least expected

la chancla stalked us

en la esquina

donde señoras vendian

tantos tamaños,

and our mamas would try them on

look at us and demand

“me quedan bonitos, verdad.”

We would nod in agreement

knowing soon they would silence

the risas from our bocas

por andar de “mendigos.”


They followed us en el mercadito

con una seleccion de tantos colores

and the perfect fit nunca faltaba

y nuestra abuela se los probaba

mirando al espejo, decia,

“hay, si, estos, que lindos,  

me los llevo.”


And we shook when she smiled

with our hand over our heart

we pledged allegiance to our madres,

allegiance to the symbol of obedece o sufre,

la arma en la casa

que olia nuestros pecados

and put them on display

for the vecinos to hear our

“yo no fui!” cries

cuando siempre lo fuimos

y mama gritaba

“donde esta mi chancla?!”


Y la chancla siempre estaba.

Siempre despertaba.

Siempre salia debajo la cama

y encontraba nuestras nalgas

as we always surrendered

and confessed our crimes

to las mujeres who raised us

on the love of la chancla.


By Eric Eztli (frommyblood.tumblr.com)

forlorn-kumquat  asked:

When I was in elementary, I had a conference with my teacher and my parents specifically to address the fact that I was always sneaking books in the classroom and reading when everyone else was still working. (Taking away my reading privileges was also literally the only way my parents could punish me - at least until we got internet in the house and I discovered fanfiction)

Originally posted by novecientosonce

You had a book intervention, that’s the sign of an avid reader!

Hot for a Teacher

Plot: Imagine Finn Balor is a college teacher. The reader, is a college student, having trouble with her assignments and having ex boyfriend troubles. Finn talks to her after class was dismissed. Finn finds our that the reader was lying about her parent’s debt and he punishes her and more.

Warning: very intense smut, daddy dom, student/teacher, some language intense and some erotic words… This gif below will seduce you…

Originally posted by baleesi

===================================

I was in History class. We are all waiting for Mr. Balor to get class started. “(Y/N), we need to talk,” my ex said. “Leave me alone Colby,” I sighed. “Come on,” Colby said. “NO!” I yelled. “God, Colby, she said leave her alone!” Asha said.

I sighed and thanked Asha for getting Colby to leave me alone. I saw Mr Balor walk in the class room. “I apologize for being late today. I see everyone has turned in their essays. I will check on them right now and just do some studying for the quiz tomorrow. If I call you name come get your essays,” Mr Balor said.

 Everyone groaned about the quiz tomorrow. “Hey now, get to studying,” he said, as he was sitting down. I study for the test and plus I hope Mr Balor doesn’t noticed that my essay isn’t turned in or completed. I saw him grading each essay individually.

The bell rang..”Okay, class is dismissed. Don’t forget quiz tomorrow,” Mr. Balor said. We all got up and headed out of the class. “Scarlet, may I speak with you for a moment?” Mr. Balor said.

 I turned around and said, “Asha, I will meet you later,” I said. “Ok,” Asha said. I walked over to his desk. “Yes, Mr. Balor?” I asked. “(Y/N) I noticed you don’t have your essay turned in and your grades are dropping. How come?” Mr. Balor asked.

“I have been dealing with ex boyfriend and my parents lost their jobs and they are thinking of me dropping out of college and I don’t want to drop out. I got so much on my plate,” I said, looking down.

 “Hey, hey. I had no idea, (Y/N), that your parents that lost their jobs. Also I noticed that Colby’s been harassing you. I could maybe you help you study and maybe figure out on how to help you stay enrolled at this school. Meet me back here around 5pm and I will take you to my place,” he said. “Will do, Mr Balor” I said.

Later that night.
 I went back to History class waiting for Mr. Balor to take me to his place. He drove to his place. “Welcome to my home. Have a seat,” he said. I placed my backpack on the floor. I took my hoodie off, I have a button up flannel shirt on with leggings. “Would you like anything to drink?” he asked.

  “Water. My throat is dried,” I said. He came into the living room. “You can come sit at the table with me,” he said, I walked over to the table and sat next to him. I got my unfinished essay.

 “Lets see what you got so far on the essay,” he said, as he looked at my essay. “Ok, I see, well I am going to extend the time for you to turn your essay in. Now your grades,” he got my grades out of my folder.

 “What are my grades?” I asked. “Well you have a D right now for essays, quizzes, and test. You only have a few As on the tests,” he said. “Ok. So what am I going to do about my current debt?” I asked.

 “Well I have this idea, if you promise not to tell anyone about me helping you,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Mr. Balor what are you doing?” I whispered. “I think you are lying to me about your parents job,” he whispered in my ear. I gasps softly.

 “Ok, I lied, Mr Balor. I am attracted to you, since the beginning of the school year,” I said, getting up. He pulled on my arm, “why didn’t you tell me? You could have been honest with me,” he said, pulling me closer.

  I trembled a little bit and swallowed the lump in my throat. He kissed me deeply and passionately and I kissed him back with my tongue slipping my my mouth. I felt his hand go down the front of my leggings and I wasn’t wearing a thing. “You naughty girl,” he whispered

I moaned softly and I started undoing his belt slowly. “I see you want to fuck me, right (Y/N)?” he asked whispering my ear. “Yes,” I said. “Yes what?” he asked. “Yes, sir,” I said. “Good girl…I want to punish you for lying to me and I’ll be your sugar daddy until you keep your grades up,” he said.

He lifted me up and carried me to his playroom. “Time for your punishment. Take your leggings off and get over my knee,” he said. I went over his lap, pulling my leggings off.

  “Ready?” he asked. “Yes, sir,” I said. He spanked my ass hard with his belt. I gasped on the first swat. He did it a second time and I groaned in pain. “Another one, sir,” I said. He spanked my ass harder with his bare hand time time.

 I got on my knees, looking up at him. “Now suck on my cock,” he said to me. I unbutton his jeans and pulled down on his Calvins and his hard cock popped out and I slowly licked the sides of his cock and taking all of his cock, sucking it slowly

He moaned as I was sucking his cock, he brushed my hair out of my face. I went faster and he pulled my hair. “There you go, my whore. Look at me with your beautiful (Y/EC)eyes,” he said, I looked at him and sucked him faster and deep.

He thrust fast and then I deep throat his cock, taking it all. Then I stopped for a moment and kept sucking harder. “Keep going, gag on my cock,” he said. I took his cock some more.

“Stop and on your feet,” he said, pulling me up and he kissed me deeply and I kissed him back with our tongues touching. I pulled off his shirt and he ripped my shirt in the front and took it off me.

Then pushed me on the bed in his play room He hovered over me and we made out some more. I felt his mouth taking my tit and I moaned as he licked my nipple then cupped the other. He kissed down my body and he slowly rubbed my clit and then he fingered me deeply with his finger.

 “Ohh fuck!” I moaned passionately. I felt his tongue on my clit and he starts eating me out and fingering me with two fingers faster and deeper. He went more faster with his tongue and fingers. “Oooh shit!” I moaned with pleasure.

 He kept going and my body started to arch and I run my fingers through his hair. “FUCKK!!!” as he went deeper and faster. “Oh my GOD! I’m gonna cum,” I moaned deeply.

 “Cum in my mouth, slut,” he said as he continued fingering and licking my pussy wall. “Aaahh fuck!!” I moaned as I came. “Mmmmm, baby, you taste amazing,” he said as he puts his fingers in my mouth, tasting my own cum.

He kissed me deeply. “Now, get on your hand and knees on the bed,” he said and I did what I was told to do. He pulled a condom out of the drawer. I spread my legs open, then I felt his cock go deep in my pussy and began to thrust faster.

I moaned louder with every thrust. He started to fuck me more harder and deeper inside me.As he kept fucking me, he spanked my ass and felt his balls smacking my clit. He pulled my hair with my back on his stomach and held me tightly as he kept fucking me harder.

 “Choke me, Mr Balor,” I begged him.He grabbed my neck and started making out with me with his tongue and he bites my bottom lip and he kept going faster. He pulled out and my back laid down on the bed

 He put his cock back inside my pussy and he fucked me faster and deeper. “FUCKK ME DADDY BALOR!” I moaned his named. “I love it when you call me daddy and say my name.

He keep going faster and I moaned and groan and whimpered as he got faster. He lifts me up while his cock was still inside me and I bounced on his cock, both of us kneeling. I kiss him deeply and he bites my bottom lip. I rubbed my clit while we kept fucking.

 We were brutally sweating as we kept fucking. I am almost close to cumming. “I am going to cum,” he said. “I am as well, Mr Balor,” I said. I came all over his cock. Then I got off his cock and he pulled off the condom.

 I was on my knees and he was standing on the bed, jacking his cock for himself to cum. I let my tongue out and a warm hot cum of his all over my lips and my chest. “FUCKKK!!!” he moaned out.

He laid down on the bed and I lay on top of him. We were both sweating from head to toe. “Oh fuck!” I said as we were both catching our breathe. “That was sexy as fuck. You were amazing (Y/N). Now your grades are back to A’s. Now if you want to keep your grades up and I will be your sugar daddy all you want. Promise not to tell a soul about us?” he asked, stroking my hair. “I promise and can’t wait for more.” I said, smiling.

Tagging: @nickysmum1909 @wwefinnbalorimagines @devittslegos 

Punishment

Terlibat langsung dengan obrolan para orangtua terkadang membuat kita memperoleh sebuah perspektif dan mindset baru atas sebuah permasalahan yang sebelumnya mungkin belum terfikirkan, mungkin karena kita terlampau muda dan minim pengalaman.

Siang tadi, saya ikut terlibat sebuah obrolan antara orangtua dan guru. Bahasan utamanya tentang punishment atau hukuman kepada anak. Yang saya pahami, ada reward dan ada punishment. Reward untuk memberikan apresiasi atas pencapaian anak. Dan punishment untuk memberikan hukuman atas kesalahan anak.

Namun kali ini bahasan utamanya tentang punishment. Mengapa anak cenderung enggan atau setengah hati saat diberi hukuman? Tidak segembira ketika mendapat apresiasi? Jelas saja, hukuman pasti melelahkan, membuat malas dan malu, serta segala pikiran negatif lainnya. Wajah anak pasti cemberut saat diberi hukuman, terkadang ada yang berontak, walaupun dalam hati kecilnya mereka menyadari kesalahan mereka pantas diganjar hukuman. Tapi tetap saja mereka berat hati melaksanakan hukuman itu.

Ternyata, ketika saya mendengar diskusi antara orangtua dan guru itu, permasalahan utamanya adalah di mindset.

Ada sebuah ayat:

“…Sesungguhnya perbuatan baik itu akan menghapus kesalahan. Itulah nasihat bagi orang-orang yang selalu mengingat Allah. Dan bersabarlah, karena sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyia-nyiakan pahala orang-orang yang berbuat kebaikan.” (QS. Hud, 11: 114 - 115)

Persoalan tentang bagaimana bentuk punishment yang mendidik rasanya akan selesai dengan ayat di atas.

1. Setiap berbuat kesalahan, ikutilah kesalahan itu dengan perbuatan baik. Ubah mindset punishment yang terkesan hukuman yang membuat malas, melelahkan dan memalukan dengan ajakan untuk berbuat baik untuk menghapus kesalahan yang telah dilakukan. Pasti sang anak lebih ceria, siapa yang tidak senang saat berbuat baik?

Misal, ada punishment berupa membersihkan lapangan dari sampah akibat anak terlambat masuk kelas. Ajakan, “Ayo kita berbuat baik dengan membersihkan lapangan ini dari sampah untuk menghapus kesalahan kamu karena terlambat masuk kelas!” akan lebih nyaman didengar anak daripada perintah,”Karena kamu terlambat masuk kelas, hukumannya membersihkan lapangan ini dari sampah untuk menebus kesalahan kamu. Ayo kerjakan!”

2. Bersabarlah dalam menjalankan perbuatan baik sebagai penebus dosa dan kesalahan yang terlanjur dilakukan. Maka ajari anak untuk bersabar saat berbuat baik untuk menebus kesalahan itu.

3. Yakinlah bahwa bukan hanya Allah akan memaafkan kesalahan itu, tetapi juga Allah berjanji untuk memberi pahala pada siapapun yang telah berbuat baik (muhsin).

Jadi sesungguhnya tidak ada yang namanya punishment, sejauh bahwa kesalahan itu ditebus dengan perbuatan baik. Ketika menemukan anak didik melakukan kesalahan atau pelanggaran terhadap peraturan/komitmen, ajak anak untuk menyadari kesalahan tersebut dan diskusikan perbuatan baik apa yang akan dilakukan untuk menebusnya.

Terlepas perbuatan baik itu adalah menyapu halaman, merapikan sendal, membersihkan WC, atau membaca Al-Quran, semua itu sah dilakukan sejauh niatnya untuk berbuat baik dan mengharap ridho Allah SWT, bukan untuk sekedar melaksanakan hukuman atas kesalahan yang dilakukan. So, don’t call it punishment.

Wallahu a’lam bisshawab…

23 Maret 2017, 20:51 WIB