parents and punishments

  • <p> <b>Adult:</b> Wow! You're so respectful and mature for your age!<p/><b>Me, whispering under my breath:</b> It's because I'm scared you'll punish me if I don't act respectful<p/><b>Adults:</b> What.<p/><b>Me:</b> What.<p/></p>

Overly strict parenting creates sneakier kids.
Punishing your kids for telling the truth creates better liars. Or people more afraid to tell the truth than to tell a lie.
Invading your children’s privacy creates lifelong crippling trust issues.
Over pressuring you child to succeed creates life long anxiety. And when failing those expectations destroys their self confidence.
Ignoring your children can create emotional dependency and abandonment issues.

I’m really sick of hearing “children need to be disciplined” and abusers passing up abuse for discipline because for who exactly do children need to be disciplined? what is a disciplined child? one who does what they’re told, that’s a child who doesn’t make noise, doesn’t complain or ask for anything, does things according to rules adults set for them, doesn’t require anything except what adults give them, basically, not a human being, not someone who is free, not someone with human rights, not someone who has the right to do what they want or to say what they need. Disciplining is taking freedom away in return for nothing, discipline is not for the sake or benefit or children but for their caretakers, so they don’t have to deal or spend any time or energy on the said children, and even have children do shit for them. 

For children it’s good to try out everything, to ask for everything, to make a mess, to make noise, to enjoy themselves, to test all their limits and figure out what makes them feel good and what doesn’t, to figure out which kind of work they enjoy, eating when they feel like it, sleeping when they feel like it. Taking this away will never ever benefit the child, it will only benefit the caretakers. It’s not the child’s fault that this society isn’t safe or accepting for child’s development, that their freedom means nothing if they can instead be tucked away and forced to be silent and get shit done if they wanna live. Children aren’t here to please everyone else or to get stuff done, and forcing them to be “disciplined” by punishments will absolutely not lead them to a balanced and productive adult life, it will make them feel guilty, scared, anxious and ashamed if they don’t manage to fulfill impossible schedules and thousands of chores. 

A child can benefit from fair and structured environment where they know what the rules are and what they’re allowed to do, what the rewards are, and what are the consequences if they do wrong, provided they actually have enough freedom to explore and do what they want and the rules don’t change continually based on adult’s moods. But only thing that is truly wrong is hurting others, so they should not suffer consequences for anything but that. But somehow that’s one thing everyone easily gets away with, and they’re instead getting punished whenever adults perceive them as a nuisance or just wanna lash out and find an excuse for it. So whatever is being passed up as “good for the child” is anything but. Before you claim any abuse is “discipline”, remember that they’re in most cases one and the same thing, and never benefit the child.

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Genie was born in 1957 in California. Her father determined that she was mentally disabled and therefore not worthy of his attention or care. He isolated her from everybody - locking her alone inside a room until she reached the age of 13. While inside this room, he kept her strapped to a toilet or enclosed in a crib. Due to her isolation, she was incapable of communicating or walking when she was finally rescued by Los Angeles child welfare authorities on 4 November, 1970.

Her father would beat her with a plank wood each time she attempted to communicate with her family and would bark and growl at her like a dog to intimidate her - this instilled a severe fear of dogs which continued after she was freed. He even grew his fingernails; the sole purpose being so he could scratch at Genie is she ever “misbehaved.” After she was freed, she was often used as a case study for psychologists, linguists, and scientists.

Genie was sent into care and while there seemed to be a series of breakthroughs in the beginning, there were also major setbacks - she was exploited and also abused by those who were supposed to be caring for her - she was sent to an extremely religious foster care home in which she retreated and in 1977, she managed to tell a children’s hospital that her foster parents had physically punished her when she had been sick. Following this, her speech never recovered and nobody knows for sure what became of her other than she was sent to an institute for the mentally undeveloped in Southern California in 2008.

npr.org
The Perils And False Rewards Of Parenting In The Era Of 'Digi-Discipline'
In a society where black people have power, beating children and posting it on social media is just as much about performing respectability as it is punishing wrongdoing.

The videos are an infamous genre unto themselves: “Mother Punches Her Daughter Dead in the Face for Having Sex in the House!” “Dad Whups Daughter for Dressing Like Beyonce.” “Son Left In Bloody Mess as Father Forces Him to ‘Fight.’” Their images stream from Facebook timelines and across YouTube channels, alternately horrifying and arresting: burly fathers, angry mothers, lips curled, curses flying, hands wrapped around electrical chords, tree branches, belts, slashing down on legs, arms, buttocks and flesh as children cry and plead and scream out in agony.

Tens of millions have clicked “play,” becoming voyeurs of this new form of child punishment — what some observers call “digi-discipline.”

Rather than sticking to the time-honored tradition of physically disciplining their children behind closed doors, parents, many of them black, buoyed by the instant gratification and viral fame that social media provides, are increasingly uploading videos of the corporal punishment they mete out on their kids, sparking intense debate on the usefulness of this particular form of public shaming.

Trigger Warning : Mentions of Miscarriage

Imagine that as a punishment, Loki must listen to every person who as affected by the attack of New York. At the beginning, he doesn’t mind but bit by bit all the horror stories of what happened that day, the loss and the consequences, start to mark him. Then one day you appear but you don’t talk at all. Captain America, who is there to supervise the meetings, tells Loki that you lost everything, your parents and sister, friends, your fiancé and you suffered a miscarriage. You were celebrating the baby shower when the building collapsed over you, and you survived cause your fiancé protected you with his body. While Captain America is talking, you stared at Loki, with your lifeless eyes not even cold, just empty. And that’s what marks Loki because he had the same look while he was tortured by Thanos.

After your visit, Loki can’t help but think of you and imagine what happened that futile day, having even nightmares about it. He requires to see you again, which surprises everyone. You accept it and once you are again there, Loki kneels in front of you to beg your forgiveness. The Avengers are in awe of seeing the god of mischief crying and bowing his head to you while apologizing. You just put your hand over his head and leave the room without saying a word.

An Ask Meme I Just Made Up

I wanted to make one, so here you go. Drop a number in my askbox. Or reblog it and steal it for your own.

1. Are you a side, back, or front sleeper?

2. When you hum random music what song is it?

3. Explain your username

4: Explain my username

5: How did you fall into the tumblr hellpit?

6: What fan interest of yours would you least prefer to explain in your workplace?

7: What fan interest or yours would you most enjoy explaining in your workplace?

8: Last song you listened to?

9: Weirdest thing on your dash today?

10: In a perfect world, what animal would you most like to adopt?

11: What animal would you most like someone else to adopt?

12: What’s something trivial you have strong opinions about?

13: What would your super-villain finishing move be?

14: Explain your icon.

15: You meet your true love(s) today. Possibly again. Describe your ideal hilarious romcom meetcute. (can be aromantic)

16: Your comfort food, and why.

17: What type of mad science will you Show Them All with? (ex: mad chemical engineer, mad library scientist, mad linguist). Which of your creations will probably turn on you?

18: Favorite cheesy trope?

19: Favorite trope nobody writes enough of?

20: Rec me a book, comic, or anime, or other piece of media you wish there were more like.

21: Wierdest tumblr drama you’ve been a part of or stumbled across.

22: You know those things from a million years ago your brain suddenly reminds you to feel embarrased/guilty/bad about in full technicolor? Tell me one of them.

23: What is something you collect?

24: Pens. Do you know where the one closest to you came from? Would you be distressed if someone took it?

25: The last game you played is crossed with the zombie apocalypse and now going down outside your window. How boned are you?

26: What was the last thing that made you cry?

27: Most embarrassing/weird/personal body thing you’re willing to talk about.

28: Your icon is now the voice of your inner therapist. How is this gonna go?

29: Name a kink you only like hypothetically.

30: Name a kink you find bewildering.

31: You have acquired: a mouse, a lizard, a rabbit, a spider, a domestic fox. Name them! Who gets to sleep on the bed?

32: What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it?

33: Hit “shuffle” on your media player and tell me your favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

34: What fan media (of yours or someone else’s) would you most like to see art/fic for?

35: What do you ship that you think would be hard to explain convincingly to other people? Attempt an explanation.

36: What meme gets on your nerves?

37: Showers or baths?

38: Who was your biggest childhood nemesis and why?

39: First writing prompt that comes to your head.

40: Least favorite color.

41: What was the last thing you got really obsessed with?

42: What’s the weirdest experience you’ve ever had on a mind-altering substance? (prescription, recreational, otc, or food)

43: Shuffle up a random song on your media player. Now tell me what ship/story goes with it.

44: What’s making you happiest recently? :)

45: What’s scaring you these days? :(

46: Post a funny video for me.

47: Did you ever have a dream/nightmare that stuck with you for years?

48: What’s a movie you thought you’d hate but you turned out to love?

49: Tell me a really obscure fact you know.

50: Hot or cold?

51: How did your parent(s) punish you as a kid? What do you think of that?

52: What’s something you thought was true about yourself that your feelings have changed on over the years?

53: Write a story in seven words.

54: What is your favorite curse word?

55: Favorite food for every color of the rainbow.

56: If you were a poltergeist where would you haunt and what would be your preferred style of prank?

57: What is an art style, craft, or skill that you can’t do, but you really admire in others?

58: What is a skill you have that people probably don’t know about?

59: Name a pet peeve you have, and something you do that is probably a pet peeve for others.

60: Dragons, dinosaurs, or aliens?

61: What was the last big fight you had with someone about?

62: Insult the asker of this question creatively.

63: In an ideal world, what would you like done with your body after you die?

64: Find me a weird stock photo and post it.

65: What was your bedtime ritual as a kid? Did you have one?

66: What are the three traits you value the most in others?

67: What are the three most interesting wild animals you’ve encountered in your life?

68: What is a word you really enjoy saying?

69: Answer number 60 like it was a “fuck, marry, kill” rhetorical.

70: Describe something that happened to you today as if you were a narrator in a film noir, nature documentary, or 50s teaching video.

71: Create five new nicknames for yourself as quickly as you can.

72: Shorts, pants, skirts, or other?

73: What’s a song you hate and why?

74: If you were a superhero, what would be your one weakness?

75: Describe a weird encounter you had with a bug.

Imagine that after the events of New York, Frigga manages to convince Odin that they alone, as parents, should decide Lokis punishment, with Thor as a witness and support as a brother.

At first Loki is defensive, claiming that he isn’t their child or brother, but his love for Frigga makes it easier for him to cave in. He only has one demand though, that by whatever judgment they’ll give him, he will be allowed to change into his female form (think Katie McGrath) and stay that way from here on out. Loki explains that he wants a new chance, but that his male form will forever be linked to his crimes and fault.

Odin thinks this is Lokis way of receiving a easier punishment, as being a woman is often seen as weak. So he says he will only agree to this demand, if he is allowed to see Lokis female form, as he as never seen it before and Loki obliges. To his surprise, Lokis female form does not look like a weak woman, but fierce and cunning, just as his male form. Pleased with this, Odin sees no problem of handing out his original punishment, working with the Avengers, but also helping New York city to rebuild all that was ruined during his attempt at taking over.

Thor and Frigga are they only ones who have seen Loki in both male and female form, so neither have a problem with this transition. After all, it was Frigga who taught Loki how to behave as a proper woman and Thor has in the past, witness Loki causing mischief and getting away by simply changing into a woman. There was also that one time Loki flirted with Fandral, but no one still knows for sure how far that went as neither refuses to say anything, but the rumors however…

When Loki arrives at The Stark Tower, with Thor, the Avengers are confused at first who the woman is, but when Thor proudly explains that it is his sister, Loki, here to start her punishment, they’re met with even more confusing. Steve is the one who voices his confusion first, as he has never met someone who can literally change form like this. Loki, being the little trickster that she is known for, can’t help but flirt with Steve, just to show that she is very much a woman and that she expects every one to treat her as such! Imagine how surprised everyone is, when Steve apologizes to her, but also reminds her that she is there for a reason, no matter her form.

As a woman, Loki does get away with more than as a man, but she also has to instead deal with unwanted attention. Thankfully, Steve is there to help when such occasions happen and by doing this, it doesn’t come as a surprise that the two of them become close.

Up to the writer to decide whether they become lovers, or just very good friends.

youtube

Shellz back at it again with the controversial discussions! 

Today I’m with two of my friends and we’re reminiscing on and discussing physical forms of punishment within Black family households, whether or not it’s an effective form of discipline and the psychological effects (positive or negative) that it could have on an individual’s upbringing. We also brush upon mental health within the Black Community and why this phenomenon isn’t taken seriously enough.

I hope you enjoy it and please comment your take on this subject!

Please also like and subscribe if you did enjoy it & check out my last video!

P.S.A

It’s not normal to be afraid of your parents. For any reason.

It’s not normal to feel like you have to tiptoe around your parents because of a reaction they might have to what you’re doing, especially if what you’re doing isn’t even wrong.

It’s not normal to feel unsafe in your own house. For any reason, in any way.

It’s not normal for your parents to scream at you or call you names and cuss at you, even if you’re arguing with them.

It’s not normal for your parents to escalate things and punish you unfairly because they can.

It’s not normal for parents to invade your privacy in any way like taking your door away, demanding passwords / reading private messages / stalking your facebook or tumblr, ect.

It’s not normal for your parents to constantly belittle you, mock you, or bully you in any way.

“Because I said so” as a reason to make you do something that makes you uncomfortable, ect. almost daily is not normal.

It’s not normal for your parents to brush you off if you say something is wrong or is upsetting you.

It’s not normal for your parents to isolate you as punishment.

It’s not normal for your parents to deny you a therapist, counselor, doctor, meds or anything regarding your mental or physical health for any reason. 

It’s not normal for your parents to tell you to “suck it up” or say “that’s how the real world is” if you’re having issues or have a disability / illness that makes things difficult for you.

It’s not normal for parents to constantly shoot you down, especially if they’re trying to be nice about it and say “It’s for your own good” or “I’m just trying to help”

None of this is normal for parents to do. This is abuse.
If you feel, for any reason, that you might be being abused, if you think that something is wrong with the way your parents treat you, listen to your gut. Look into abuse. Don’t ignore it. Don’t tell yourself that you’re overreacting. Listen to yourself, because something is probably wrong.
If you’re being abused by your parents, i’m sorry. I know how you feel. But remember, you are wonderful. You didn’t make your parents abuse you. None of this is your fault.
Take care of yourself. Please. You’ll be out of there soon.

Guys, I’ve been thinking about it lately and I think I have to rethink my stance on the discourse, like,

Posts about how “there’s no point in coming out as aspec” or “can you imagine coming out as ace like….mom, dad I don’t wanna have sex…. lmao aces are wild” are not only really upsetting they’re just…bizarrely wrong.

You’re either assuming that aspec people don’t exist and you’re one of those “no one wants to hear about your sex life, tmi” people or you think that asexuality is so commonly accepted or that just so few people would care that it takes no effort on the part of the aspec person to share their identity with people and they can do so with no fear. Both are obviously incorrect.

Now the first category, “aspecs don’t exist” is just…wrong so let’s skip that one. If you want to try and debate that, please find someone else, I’m not wasting my/my followers time on that. But I think a lot of people believe the second category which results in a lot of aspecs having their fears/experiences around coming out invalidated and discourages people from sharing their stories and concerns. That is not a good thing and if you think it is, congrats you’re not a nice person.

Coming out as aspec is not just “I don’t want to have sex” or “I don’t like romantic relationships” and there’s an end to it. Coming out as aspec is sharing an aspect of your identity that is seen as different and sadly as “not normal” and it often isn’t something people just go “ok” about and move on with the conversation. Being ace or aro is often seen as a problem that has to be fixed so the person can be “normal”. People will ask “what happened to make you that way”, assume it’s a medical/psychological issue that can be treated, some aspecs are at risk of corrective rape from partners who think they can be “fixed” with sex because they just haven’t done it right, or been with the right person. Coming out as aspec is not pointless or easy or tmi and framing it as such is harmful.

I am not ace or aro (so aspecs please correct me if i said anything wrong) but I’m another kind of person who’s often told I don’t “need” to come out. I’m actually a bi girl dating a guy so I’m told it’s unnecessary, that I’d be doing it for attention or to be trendy, that I don’t have to afraid of any consequences related to coming out. However, if my homophobic family found out I was bi, it wouldn’t matter the gender of my partner. I’d become a problem to be fixed, proof they failed as parents, a punishment for their sins or something. I’d have to worry about them trying to get me to go to conversion therapy, I’d quite possibly be disowned, they wouldn’t just go “oh ok, you’re with a guy so it’s chill, don’t tell us about who you’re attracted to that’s tmi” Just because you don’t think/believe a person will face any consequences for or have any difficulty coming out, doesn’t mean you’re right. Just like anyone else in the LGBTQ+ community, some aspecs will be able to come out to supportive people and not have to worry, others have to fear what will ha

APRIL FOOLS LMAO YOU THOUGHT