parental respect

real quick head canons about maggies aunt

- she calls maggie every thursday “you can always come home” “im 30″ “it has not be 16 years has it…youre making me old” “you are old”

- maggies aunt is at most only a solid 15 years older, theres not much of an age gap between them but her aunt still was the most respectable parental figure maggies ever had

- maggies aunt keeps trying to get maggie to introduce to her alex??? she refuses?? and so she threatens to show up at national city and maggie tells her not to dare

- ( she does, at 830 in the morning with a text 30 minutes prior that maggie misses bc shes too busy kissing alex that says she just lands in national city )

- she tells the WORST stories of maggie and her crushes on girls when she was just a baby gay

- alex thinks her aunts adorable, she thinks it seven cuter when said aunt pulls maggie into a hug and kisses her head, and whispers the words “i am so glad you have found the love you deserve, you have no idea how much you deserve to surround yourself with it”

- alex tries to say they should invite her over for thanksgiving dinner and maggie shoots daggers at alex and she LAUGHS

"it's easy" can make scary tasks scarier

When people are struggling or afraid to try something, well-meaning people often try to help them by telling them that the thing is easy. This often backfires.

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: Don’t worry. 5 pages isn’t that much. This isn’t such a hard assignment. 

In this interaction, the parent is trying to help, but the message the kid is likely hearing is “This shouldn’t be hard. You’re failing at an easy thing.”

If something is hard or scary, it’s better to acknowledge that, and focus on reassuring them that it is possible. (And, if necessary and appropriate, help them to find ways of seeing it as possible.)

For instance:

  • Kid: I don’t know how to write a paper! This paper has to be 5 pages long, and we have to do research! It’s so hard!
  • Parent: It’s hard, and that’s ok. You can do hard things.
  • Parent: What are you writing about?
  • Kid: Self-driving cars. But I can’t find anything. 

And so on.

This isn’t unique to interactions between parents and children. It can also happen between friends, and in other types of relationships.

tl;dr If something’s hard for someone, telling them that it’s easy probably won’t help. Reassuring them that they can do hard things often does help, especially if you can support them in figuring out how to do the thing.

Best parts of Moana:
-no love interest
-Moana had proportions like an actual human and wasn’t sexualized
-Disney princess set to inherit is actually depicted being trained in running her society
-no dead parents!
-bechdel test pass
-respectful depiction of source material and culture
-the music oh my god!!!!!
-Maui’s 4th wall breaks
-no actual villain
-closest thing to a villain was David Bowie crab
-Lin-Manuel Miranda
-the chicken
-only white in the cast voiced the chicken
-my giant green wife

how neurotypicals think triggers work

  • i had a traumatic experience but i’m 100% fine and never think about it
  • unless i see a neurotypical-approved trigger
  • then i will remember it all of a sudden and have a horrible panic attack

how triggers actually work

  • i had a traumatic experience and the long-time effects of trauma influence my life every day
  • seriously, no one forgets about a traumatic experience
  • (unless they repress those memories completely)
  • a trigger is something that makes those memories resurface
  • triggers can be anything; words, phrases, smells, symbols, colours, things that seem ridiculous to you but to me have a connection to my traumatic experience that i am not obligated to explain just because you think i’m “tossing the word trigger around like it’s nothing”
  • reactions to triggers can range from slight discomfort to severe panic attacks; none of these reactions are less valid because they’re not ‘bad enough’
  • my general mental health influences how i respond to a trigger. the same trigger might not bother me on a good day but make me suffer from paranoia and anxiety on a bad day. it is still always a trigger.
  • veterans are not the only ones suffering from ptsd. “war” is not the only real trigger. 
  • mocking triggers (no matter how silly they seem to you) means mocking and disrespecting everyone who had a traumatic experience and asks people to tag triggers because they don’t want the memories to resurface more than they already do anyway
  • you’re not my therapist. you have no say in what triggers me and how i am supposed to deal with that. 
  • so if i ask people to tag penguins, but don’t feel comfortable telling everyone that the reason for this is that they are my abuser’s favourite animals which they often talked about (when they weren’t hitting me, locking me up and letting me starve, and telling me i deserve it), you have absolutely no right to make fun of that
  • bye

“ My ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I reccieved my name and my life’s blood: Lorelai Gilmore. My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be… as she guided me through these incredible eighteen years I don’t know if she ever realized that person I most wanted to be was her. “


Ygraine lives: part 2. | part 1 |  Snapshots of Arthur’s childhood: memories of  having to share his life with the chief Dragonlord’s son, Merlin, because their respective parents decided it would be good for them to get along from a young age. Hating Merlin for always being around and in the later years, hating Merlin for always leaving him months at a time to train with the druids. Taking any opportunity Arthur has with a hesitant Merlin to make Morgana’s life a misery and then feeling bad for it later, the sorry feeling is quickly gone when Morgana retaliates. The three of them stealing sweetmeats from the market, getting caught and the boys spending the day in the stocks whereas Morgana cries and gets away with it. She and her friend Gwen, the blacksmith’s daughter, always “happen” to have boiled eggs ready - some were not boiled. Long walks with his lady mother and dull council meetings on his father’s lap. 

Arthur is no longer allowed to throw other children in the dungeons just for picking on Merlin. The noble people were not happy. 

I can’t believe I realised this just now, but Neville’s bravery was already there from year one. I mean, besides standing up against his friend, he brawled with Malfoy during the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match. With Malfoy! Who not only enjoyed bullying him, but was also the nephew of the woman who took part in torturing of his parents insane. My utmost respect, Mr Longbottom.

Much has been written about how to conquer and defeat the tantrum-throwing child, precious little has been said in support of the powerless child’s right to express her rage. Toddlers don’t need ‘taming’, or 'correcting’ – as many socializing mode parenting manuals suggest – they need our empathy and respect.
—  Robin Grille